Health Depression

[smasha]

Yeh I need to join one or get back into weights at home.

Just can't get motivated

I have loads of anxiety.

Gf and IO went to Sydney last week for her sis Christmas party ands all I did was drink to feel comfartable.

Thank god the people were really nice.

Hate the black dog on my shoulder all the time telling me I'm useless.

That's the part that stops me from doing anything.

I'm so fortunate I have a girlfriend that is so caring.

Love her to bits.

Hugs all round out there to people struggling.

 

[Hap Hapablap]

just want to give my two cents on this topic.

when i was younger i thought depression was non-existant. it wasnt real and such.

from the age of 8, being removed from a school is a challenge, it was ok took some time to settle in, the low days you have at the time werent depression. what was depression on my side were the external factors that have affected me, my parents were never at peace always at each others throats throughout my childhood after my father quit his job and became a bum due to his ego. over the years their relationship deteriorated and as I was the oldest I copped the blunt from my father on a weekly basis, being his point of venting and relishing his oppurtunities to find a slight fault on my hands to blame me and punish me physically in order to release his rage. over time i was under the cloud of physical, mental and emotional abuse, the bruises i was left with to the point of bad internal bleeding, had i known today that what he did was over the top i wouldve relished the chance to put him away. i wasnt a disobedient boy, always listened but boys will be boys, however my old man felt that with his umemployment and inactivity he could use me as a venting point.

over the years, there were ups and downs but in high school especially year 11 and year 12, the past trauma came back to me during the intense periods of study, i wasn't allowed to socialise always on the books 6 hours a day to get the results my old man wanted. at the end i didnt perform to my best due to the continual problems at home and I literally being my old man's slave. The point where I felt I was in trouble psychologically was the fact every morning I'd vomit or have extreme diarrhea due to anxiety and stress caused from all the problems.

Eventually after speaking with a councillor with my mother, we decided to move out, when it happened and the oppurtunity took place to change, I thought everything would improve. Well it didnt, it affected my marks at uni, my relationship with friends and family and continued to do so till the point where I got terminated from my course. At this point of time I took up anti depressants and spoke to a counsellor as a last resort and after 5 months of not doing jack all and such it got me out there again.

Further problems have happened down the track, the anti depressants did help to get out of bed, but there were demons inside that werent being dealt with and causing issues. Amazingly it was death that shook the living hell out of me, having 2 good mates pass away from the most tragic ways (being swept off rocks on the coast and a hit and run) shook me up literally. Also an acute food poisoning incident also shook me up and made me believe that you'll be always be hit down but rising up from it was the only way especially for the ones that loved you the most.

Thankfully the worst has passed, things have moved on from those dark days (just finished the degree, got a graduate job) and only a few days ago I felt I was closing the door on the worst and opening a new one. Thats not to say it will be clear and all.

Really from my experiences, depression can be a serious issue if not dealt with at an early time, allowing it to fester and grow due to being told that youre weak and you shouldnt express yourself is the worst thing to do. being sad and depressed are two different issues, in reality what saved me was the strong friendships that I made over the years. anti depressants arent a cure but I felt them as a booster to give you the kick to get out of bed. at the end of the day, you'll always have your bad days and such. the key is learning out to brush them off and just saying **** it. hard to be said but with a good group of friends as well as getting yourself out there really does help. and speaking about it to someone who understands also helps significantly. the world isnt flowers and daffodils but at least the best thing you can do is learn how to deal with the negative and try to convert them into the positive.

also cutting links with the stuff causing you to crack can help. havent spoken to my old man for 6 years and it has been the best decision of my life. sounds harsh but the amount of trauma that i dealt with (nightmares a few years after leaving the brute), it was the only decent way of dealing with it as he believed what he did was always right.

friends and activity are the best ways honestly. anti depressants IMHO are just a booster like a red bull.

and this thread is also a good area to help. honestly knowing others have gone through hell at times makes you feel youre not the only one out there and makes you appreciate the good that you may have and work on what you dont. get that battler out of you.


edit: just realised how much tripe you can write when youve had a few. excuse the repetitiveness.

 

[RW]

thanks for sharing the story, MAG87. I've been struggling with things a bit of late, nothing serious but it seems to manifest itself in the form of anxiety - i used to be quite shy, and i find that when i'm feeling blue i'll tend to avoid social contact more than usual. exercise helps, and I stay away from alcohol where I can, drinking is the worst thing you could do because of the numbing effect, it never makes problems go away and they often come back worse when the numbness subsides.

I'm quite lucky that while I probably am genetically pre-disposed to anxiety-type disorders (my parents both experienced something similar at my age) I have been blessed with a milder temperament which always kicks in before i start to feel too down.

going out with friends helps, too. I spent christmas in perth with my cousins and had an absolute blast - we always have a great time together, but I got back just before NYE and didn't have any plans - I called up one of my mates from high school who I knew always watches the fireworks on sydney harbour on NYE with his friends so I'd have someone to go with, and it turned out to be a great night! It's hard to find bright spots sometimes, but they're always there if you look hard enough, no matter how small...

 

[kwame]

also cutting links with the stuff causing you to crack can help. havent spoken to my old man for 6 years and it has been the best decision of my life. sounds harsh but the amount of trauma that i dealt with (nightmares a few years after leaving the brute), it was the only decent way of dealing with it as he believed what he did was always right.

im 27 and i havent spoken to either of my parents in 11 years........

 

[Dan Moody]

just want to give my two cents on this topic.

when i was younger i thought depression was non-existant. it wasnt real and such.

from the age of 8, being removed from a school is a challenge, it was ok took some time to settle in, the low days you have at the time werent depression. what was depression on my side were the external factors that have affected me, my parents were never at peace always at each others throats throughout my childhood after my father quit his job and became a bum due to his ego. over the years their relationship deteriorated and as I was the oldest I copped the blunt from my father on a weekly basis, being his point of venting and relishing his oppurtunities to find a slight fault on my hands to blame me and punish me physically in order to release his rage. over time i was under the cloud of physical, mental and emotional abuse, the bruises i was left with to the point of bad internal bleeding, had i known today that what he did was over the top i wouldve relished the chance to put him away. i wasnt a disobedient boy, always listened but boys will be boys, however my old man felt that with his umemployment and inactivity he could use me as a venting point.

over the years, there were ups and downs but in high school especially year 11 and year 12, the past trauma came back to me during the intense periods of study, i wasn't allowed to socialise always on the books 6 hours a day to get the results my old man wanted. at the end i didnt perform to my best due to the continual problems at home and I literally being my old man's slave. The point where I felt I was in trouble psychologically was the fact every morning I'd vomit or have extreme diarrhea due to anxiety and stress caused from all the problems.

Eventually after speaking with a councillor with my mother, we decided to move out, when it happened and the oppurtunity took place to change, I thought everything would improve. Well it didnt, it affected my marks at uni, my relationship with friends and family and continued to do so till the point where I got terminated from my course. At this point of time I took up anti depressants and spoke to a counsellor as a last resort and after 5 months of not doing jack all and such it got me out there again.

Further problems have happened down the track, the anti depressants did help to get out of bed, but there were demons inside that werent being dealt with and causing issues. Amazingly it was death that shook the living hell out of me, having 2 good mates pass away from the most tragic ways (being swept off rocks on the coast and a hit and run) shook me up literally. Also an acute food poisoning incident also shook me up and made me believe that you'll be always be hit down but rising up from it was the only way especially for the ones that loved you the most.

Thankfully the worst has passed, things have moved on from those dark days (just finished the degree, got a graduate job) and only a few days ago I felt I was closing the door on the worst and opening a new one. Thats not to say it will be clear and all.

Really from my experiences, depression can be a serious issue if not dealt with at an early time, allowing it to fester and grow due to being told that youre weak and you shouldnt express yourself is the worst thing to do. being sad and depressed are two different issues, in reality what saved me was the strong friendships that I made over the years. anti depressants arent a cure but I felt them as a booster to give you the kick to get out of bed. at the end of the day, you'll always have your bad days and such. the key is learning out to brush them off and just saying **** it. hard to be said but with a good group of friends as well as getting yourself out there really does help. and speaking about it to someone who understands also helps significantly. the world isnt flowers and daffodils but at least the best thing you can do is learn how to deal with the negative and try to convert them into the positive.

also cutting links with the stuff causing you to crack can help. havent spoken to my old man for 6 years and it has been the best decision of my life. sounds harsh but the amount of trauma that i dealt with (nightmares a few years after leaving the brute), it was the only decent way of dealing with it as he believed what he did was always right.

friends and activity are the best ways honestly. anti depressants IMHO are just a booster like a red bull.

and this thread is also a good area to help. honestly knowing others have gone through hell at times makes you feel youre not the only one out there and makes you appreciate the good that you may have and work on what you dont. get that battler out of you.


edit: just realised how much tripe you can write when youve had a few. excuse the repetitiveness.

it's reading stuff like this that makes me realise that any pissy problems i've had haven't really meant much at all.
a great read and honestly good to see that you're making headway after such a difficult start.

im 27 and i havent spoken to either of my parents in 11 years........

**** man that's heavy, what the hell could've happened at age 16 to do this?

 

[kwame]

**** man that's heavy, what the hell could've happened at age 16 to do this?

long story short but mum was a total nutcase....had to take out a restraining order against her after she stabbed me.

 

[BarneyBent]

^^ ****ing heavy. That must have been rough to say the least.

This thread makes me realise how lucky I am to have the parents I have. Even though my family is, in general, somewhat insane, they've never been violent, and my parents happen to be the "sane" ones of their families. My dad is an alcoholic with a liver disease who becomes a pedantic, opinionated, out-and-out jerk when he drinks, which is pretty much every night (and yes, he's the sanest of his siblings). Pisses me off, but in the scheme of things, shit could be so much worse. My parents love me, they've never hurt me, I've never been physically or emotionally abused by anybody, I have a girlfriend who genuinely loves me (though I don't know why), I'm intelligent, I'm doing a fantastic degree that will set me up for life, I'm heading towards a well-paid career, my parents have a bit of money and property, so I'll always have a relatively secure base (not to mention a nice inheritence at some point along the road, hopefully not too soon), people tend to like and trust me (again I don't know why), I'm tall, have good skin and am apparently good looking (I've done a bit of modelling). I have all the luck in the world.

Yet despite all this, I'm hopeless. I feel like shit most of the time, I'm grumpy, I put in no effort as a friend, little as a boyfriend, and put in none to my studies. I do no excercise and eat poorly (but never put on weight, again, luck), I'm terrible with money, pathologically late, and the definition of lazy. And I have absolutely no excuses for it. I've even been seeing a psychiatrist lately, and he has asked me to do an excercise program and keep a mood diary to improve my mental health. Have I done it? Of course not.

Massive credit to you people who've been through shit that I couldn't imagine, had every excuse to break down, but fought through it and come out on top. I wish I had that sort of discipline and courage.

 

[XFactor1979]

http://www.abc.net.au/triplej/hack/stories/s3160885.htm


http://mpegmedia.abc.net.au/triplej/hack/m1969550.mp3

Warning, do not tune in if youre in the wrong headspace, if this topic has raised some issues with you please call Lifeline 131114

 

[Hu$tler]

most of the times i feel shit about myself because i cant connect with the other humans.

(i want to connect)

I'm getting better at this, mainly thanks to Uni and getting involved in sporting teams. I'm still not the greatest at it but i'm getting there!

Get out and about and practise mate.

 

[raskolnikov]

I just can't relate to anyone in my workplace and it really depresses me. I don't even feel like going into the staffroom at lunchtime because I just don't feel like conversing with anyone in there. It's especially hard since my last two jobs the staff were fantastic and people you loved being around.

 

[shibz_1989]

Withdrawal effects suck. It's like I'm a heroin addict coming off of heroin...if I had a choice I'd take the next few weeks off of work to get through but alas, cannot.

 

[gimp!]

I just can't relate to anyone in my workplace and it really depresses me. I don't even feel like going into the staffroom at lunchtime because I just don't feel like conversing with anyone in there. It's especially hard since my last two jobs the staff were fantastic and people you loved being around.

Must be tricky, as I would assume as a primary school teacher you would be looking forward to conversing with some adults.

 

[smasha]

I'm getting better at this, mainly thanks to Uni and getting involved in sporting teams. I'm still not the greatest at it but i'm getting there!

Get out and about and practise mate.

Mate I wouldn't like that because mixing with uni students would make me worse seeing as I was born dumb.

People don't get what depresson is about.

 

[smasha]

I just can't relate to anyone in my workplace and it really depresses me. I don't even feel like going into the staffroom at lunchtime because I just don't feel like conversing with anyone in there. It's especially hard since my last two jobs the staff were fantastic and people you loved being around.

Animals>>>>>>>>>>>humans.


I drink beer to get by humans.

 

[Caesar]

Dude, do you even want to get better?

Not having a go, it's an honest question. I know how with severe longterm depression it comes to be almost a security blanket in its familiarity. From this thread it kind of seems like you're afraid of trying any of the things necessary in order to make a positive difference in your life.

 

[BarneyBent]

Mate I wouldn't like that because mixing with uni students would make me worse seeing as I was born dumb.

People don't get what depresson is about.

Thinking stuff like this doesn't help you. What makes you think you were born dumb? Shit, copious studies have shown that depression and axiety are actually highly associated with intelligence. Negative cognitive errors, like thinking "I'm so dumb" when one actually isn't, is also highly associated.

So being dumb is negatively correlated with depression. Thinking one is dumb when one is not is positively correlated. Without knowing you personally, I'd say chances are you're not dumb, you just think you are, a thought which contributes to and maintains your depressive states.

You might not be academic, you might not like reading, you might struggle paying attention to some things, even exhibiting some ADD-like tendencies (I know I do). But try to keep an open mind about how mentally capable you are. You'll probably find yourself pleasantly surprised.

Also, intelligence is very difficult to define. Don't do an IQ test, score below average and get miserable. For one thing, IQ tests really only test your ability to do IQ tests, their validity as a test of "intelligence" is meaningless because "intelligence" is itself a shaky construct with no inherent, objective value. Somebody could have an IQ of 150 and achieve absolutely nothing, while another could have an IQ of 70 and become a billionaire (just look at the Packers! ).

Basically, what I'm saying is don't avoid doing things because you think you won't be smart enough. Give them a try. If at first you fail, try again. Any failure is most likely because you already believe you will fail, and don't put your whole into it. If you keep forcing yourself to try, eventually you will succeed. This will build some self-confidence, and make further successes progressively easier.

Oh, and make sure that confidence and success is what you really want. Some people identify with their depression, negativity, hopelessness to the point that they feel it defines them, and that, paradoxically, it's the only thing that makes them interesting/worthy. I've been there. It's bullshit. You will ALWAYS be happier when you're happier, if you get my drift.

 

[shibz_1989]

Make sure you get a decent doctor as well. Not one who will just disappear so you end up with one who doubles your medication. And then when you want to change meds, decides going from 40 to 20mg is a fantastic idea. IT'S NOT!! fml

 

[smasha]

Thinking stuff like this doesn't help you. What makes you think you were born dumb? Shit, copious studies have shown that depression and axiety are actually highly associated with intelligence. Negative cognitive errors, like thinking "I'm so dumb" when one actually isn't, is also highly associated.

So being dumb is negatively correlated with depression. Thinking one is dumb when one is not is positively correlated. Without knowing you personally, I'd say chances are you're not dumb, you just think you are, a thought which contributes to and maintains your depressive states.

You might not be academic, you might not like reading, you might struggle paying attention to some things, even exhibiting some ADD-like tendencies (I know I do). But try to keep an open mind about how mentally capable you are. You'll probably find yourself pleasantly surprised.

Also, intelligence is very difficult to define. Don't do an IQ test, score below average and get miserable. For one thing, IQ tests really only test your ability to do IQ tests, their validity as a test of "intelligence" is meaningless because "intelligence" is itself a shaky construct with no inherent, objective value. Somebody could have an IQ of 150 and achieve absolutely nothing, while another could have an IQ of 70 and become a billionaire (just look at the Packers! ).

Basically, what I'm saying is don't avoid doing things because you think you won't be smart enough. Give them a try. If at first you fail, try again. Any failure is most likely because you already believe you will fail, and don't put your whole into it. If you keep forcing yourself to try, eventually you will succeed. This will build some self-confidence, and make further successes progressively easier.

Oh, and make sure that confidence and success is what you really want. Some people identify with their depression, negativity, hopelessness to the point that they feel it defines them, and that, paradoxically, it's the only thing that makes them interesting/worthy. I've been there. It's bullshit. You will ALWAYS be happier when you're happier, if you get my drift.

Hugs.

I just slept it off.

I'll be alright.

The only way to beat it is exercise.

Just been drinking way too much.

My Tigers have a great future ahead of them and I don't want to spoil that.

My 2 cats,my caring GF and the Richmond Football Club.

Oh and my love of ALL music.

Whether it be grindcore metal,60s pop,jazz,prog,punk,electronic,EVERYTHING.

Love them.

P.S. I don't really hate humans.

I get jealous knowing I'm a bit of a klutz while others have succeeded in life.

I never want to harm anybody.

That's the problem,when I drink all those feelings of insecurity go away.

Sorry all.

I'm a bit of a wimp lol.

Not born with the strong Irish blood.

I have the wimp Pommy stuff hehe.

Well I think I have.

More Scottish I think.

My gf is Aussie Irish and is a beautiful person.

 

[Dan Moody]

Hugs.

I just slept it off.

I'll be alright.

The only way to beat it is exercise.

Just been drinking way too much.

My Tigers have a great future ahead of them and I don't want to spoil that.

My 2 cats,my caring GF and the Richmond Football Club.

Oh and my love of ALL music.

Whether it be grindcore metal,60s pop,jazz,prog,punk,electronic,EVERYTHING.

Love them.

P.S. I don't really hate humans.

I get jealous knowing I'm a bit of a klutz while others have succeeded in life.

I never want to harm anybody.

That's the problem,when I drink all those feelings of insecurity go away.

Sorry all.

smasha, you need to go and start another good genesis thread, guaranteed to lift spirits all round

 

[shibz_1989]

You're lucky to have a gf who's stuck by you Smasha most end up walking away...in a way I don't blame them, I mean, it must be so tough for them.

 

[Dan Moody]

and smasha btw, you have one of the best usernames on BF

 

[fishguts]

This is a snapshot of my head space to put things in perspective...

Last year, when my depression was at it's worst, it feel like everyone began warming to me (Things like being elected School captain and such). But now, as I'm having a good patch, it feels like being happy has made me more secluded somehow, and that people seem to like me more when I'm depressed.

The irony being, that just makes me depressed thinking about how I feel I fit in more when I'm depressed.

 

[gimp!]

doesn't sound like your situation is too bad to me smasha! but of course i don't know you personally...at least you have the cats and the gf, i don't have a gf and my dog just passed away, that sucks... and I got fired!

 

[smasha]

smasha, you need to go and start another good genesis thread, guaranteed to lift spirits all round

My weekend so far has been taken up by Frank Zappa.

 

[Ed_Gein]

Ok so i have come here to admit this, i don't know if i am suffering from a case of situational depression or something.

i wont go into too much detail about my situation, but i moved to scotland and was advised by some family members that i could signup to get some jobseekers allowance (dole money) in the meantime whilst i find a job. i took out a lease on a flat for 6 months and have since struggled to find any work, got denied habitual residency which means i am not entitled to any jobseeker allowance and i am struggling bit time with cash flow.

it has got me down a bit to the point where i dont want to go out and socialise and i stay in the flat for 2-3 days only leaving to get some shopping etc... my efforts to find a job have just stalled and i just dont want to put any effort in anymore and on top of that my sleep is starting to suffer and i am not getting to sleep until 7am on occasions. i also feel like i look like shit.

there are times when i feel ok and think its nothing to worry about, but then suddenly something will just hit me whilst i am watching tv or something and i dont want to move, i feel like crying but nothing comes out and just generally feel like the life has been sucked out of me.

anyway, dont want to carry on like a whinger. but good to get something like that off my chest.