Health Depression

[timtamWB]

But when you feel like you've noone to talk to what you do?

Hey if you figure this out please tell me. You can't just tell anyone, it's hard to just be open with people with things like this, and calling up the lifeline isn't exactly always something you want to do.

 

[RedBullRacing]

Hey if you figure this out please tell me. You can't just tell anyone, it's hard to just be open with people with things like this, and calling up the lifeline isn't exactly always something you want to do.

Like I said, one of my friends who I think is going through depression, put something up on facebook, as an indirect way of saying. I need help. I've done this before, and basically just had people feeling sorry for me. which I hate.

But would this be a way of doing it maybe? My situation is different though as in, I usually have a key trigger, most often on the weekends, or seeing other people, particularly people I know interacting, while I'm feeling alone and ignored. Usually I get pretty upset and frustrated about it, maybe listen to some music, go to the gym and I'm kind of ok the next day. But I rarely get down for no reason, maybe once or twice a year.

 

[timtamWB]

Like I said, one of my friends who I think is going through depression, put something up on facebook, as an indirect way of saying. I need help. I've done this before, and basically just had people feeling sorry for me. which I hate.

But would this be a way of doing it maybe? My situation is different though as in, I usually have a key trigger, most often on the weekends, or seeing other people, particularly people I know interacting, while I'm feeling alone and ignored. Usually I get pretty upset and frustrated about it, maybe listen to some music, go to the gym and I'm kind of ok the next day. But I rarely get down for no reason, maybe once or twice a year.

If you know your triggers, that's a really good thing. But I'm guessing that you're in the position where you can't avoid your triggers? Try and figure out some way to distract yourself from your triggers, or even possible ways to avoid them if you can. I cut some friends out of my life that were triggers for me, and it made me feel a lot better.

 

[TheFreshBanana]

When you feel like you've got no one to talk to? Come to BF.

 

[TheFreshBanana]

You can always meet new people as well.

There's a meet up site literally called meetup.com

I know they have specific groups for people who have suffered depression and anxiety, so a good way to meet people who have been in similar situations. But there's a whole lot of others.

I can't give you a personal example, because I've never used it, although have browsed it. I'm pretty happy with where my social life is at for now.

Also, I totally get the feeling where you have friends but you don't really want to get too deep with them. I don't have any personal examples either, because although my friends do know I have depression, it isn't something we bring up. Although I have had moments where I've been depressed with them, and they were great about it, but you know, we don't exactly have a weekly DnM.

Although I can't give you personal examples, sometimes you just gotta put yourself out there. If it does't work out, then it doesn't work out. What's the worst that can happen? Just an awkward moment because of their inability to be comfortable with such situations.

Personally, if I feel like I need to talk to someone, then I book an appointment with my uni counsellor. I find it a lot better to talk to a professional about it than a friend or family member as well, but that might just be me. It sucks that they're not available as soon as you need them, and you really just gotta keep it together until you can. You really do feel a lot better after talking to them, and I always say this, there is always something to talk about, even when you go in and you're scared because you just can't think of anything you can talk about for an hour.

I also tend to book in advance, if I know I'm gonna feel depressed. For example, exams are a big trigger for my anxiety and depression. I remember a few semesters back, I was really struggling in preparing for one, so I booked one right after an exam I had.

 

[Vekgib]

This Saturday would mark six months since I'd needed my antidepressants (Citalopram).Felt the best I've felt for over 20 years.Life's been great.
Then on Monday I tried to end it all.No warning that my mood was going to drop.Nothing.
Now I'm back on the meds.And back to the Psychologist.
So disappointed that I fell off the wagon.
Now I have to start again.

 

[Dan Moody]

I've stopped taken Effexor cold turkey for almost a week now. Just decided I didn't want anymore of this shit, didn't make a follow up with my doctor and let the script run out. After being on them for 3 years, I want to get back to giving a shit about things. The A/D's tend to make you mellow a bit too much.
Today wasn't a great day, felt dizzy all day to the point where I thought I was going to fall over. I read that that would be a side effect of going cold turkey, hoping it doesn't last too long and I can get back to being the old me, but a new me, if you know what I mean.

 

[timtamWB]

I've stopped taken Effexor cold turkey for almost a week now. Just decided I didn't want anymore of this shit, didn't make a follow up with my doctor and let the script run out. After being on them for 3 years, I want to get back to giving a shit about things. The A/D's tend to make you mellow a bit too much.
Today wasn't a great day, felt dizzy all day to the point where I thought I was going to fall over. I read that that would be a side effect of going cold turkey, hoping it doesn't last too long and I can get back to being the old me, but a new me, if you know what I mean.

Just a bit of advice:

I was on fluvoxamine, and was sick of taking tablets and being reliant on the pills. So I decided to go cold turkey on them, and 3 weeks later I had another episode.

I wouldn't go cold turkey again, your mental health is too important. Start cutting down slowly, don't go cold turkey.

Of course that just what happened to me, it might be a bit different for you. Just be alert of your mental state and don't be afraid to get help or go back to your doctor and get a smaller dose if things start to come down.

 

[Matele]

I know I don't have depression, but If I had $1 for every time someone said 'if you feel down you should talk to someone' I'd be a rich man. The fact is sometimes you don't feel comfortable talking to anyone about it, trust wise, or you don't have many friends. What do you do in those situations. Today was one of those, I was frustrated about being alone and feelings of being ignored, I probably embarrassed myself on Facebook, by asking anyone if they wanted to catch up, and got nothing. Going to the gym helped, then the best decision I made was to see something someone else put up on Facebook, and basically asked them if they were ok, rather than get frustrated with my own situation.

But when you feel like you've noone to talk to what you do?

It's a real hard one to answer that. Opening up is one of the hardest things in the world to do. I mean where is the guarantee that this person or persons you talk to are going to stay or genuinely care? That's what I'm dealing with right now. I don't think I have depression per se, but I do have rapid mood shifts where I go from perfectly fine to violent anger. It could he something as simple as a Facebook post that sets me off to, such is my jealously and confidence levels. Putting confidence in someone is super hard. I've done it twice and both times I've ended off worse because the friendship has ended. I've gone to councillors and that's helped a lot. But it's an ongoing struggle for me. As long as the drive is there to improve yourself. I think that's the main thing, eventually that drive will break down walls and get you talking, it did for me.

 

[Angus Young]

My mate was in a real bad place...and he started taking Prozac..said it saved his life..

 

[Twist_of_Lemon]

This Saturday would mark six months since I'd needed my antidepressants (Citalopram).Felt the best I've felt for over 20 years.Life's been great.
Then on Monday I tried to end it all.No warning that my mood was going to drop.Nothing.
Now I'm back on the meds.And back to the Psychologist.
So disappointed that I fell off the wagon.
Now I have to start again.

Sounds familiar. There is a vicious cycle underneath that I manage to avoid sometimes, but it can come and beat you to the ground without a moments notice. Severe nostalgia is what gets to me the most, outside of the usual day-to-day anxiety.

It is pretty hard to explain to people what those feelings are like and in trying to do so you end up feeling more isolated because people don't seem to "get it". It would be like someone coming up to me and trying to explain that a particular teacup is so important to them, that their whole life revolves around that teacup. People seem to react just as strangely to me trying to explain the obsessive, cyclic thoughts that encapsulate my conscience. To them its "... and?" while to me its "... but its everything!".

Its a hard place to be at and after 14 years of dealing with it through medication and various health care professionals I've yet to find an answer to it. That seeking an answer is probably just as much to do with how I feel than anything. Its a strong need to understand "what is wrong with me?".

Sometimes I think I lose perspective on it being perfectly normal to be sad at times. That the sadness is like the seasons, it comes and goes. I would say someone with depression becomes hyper-sensitive to those feelings and isn't able to see that some of those feelings are just a part of being human for most of us. There is a degree of self-fulfilling prophecy in it for me, that the sadness is my brains way of answering most challenges in life; "See, life sucks because this is how it makes you feel".

/musings over

 

[red+black]

I have a lot of reading to do in this thread, have been meaning to do it for a while, so apologies to all for not reading and responding. I've seen 3 therapists in my life. I didn't click with the first one, an old Argentinian woman, so I only saw her a few times. Then I saw an Aussie man in his 40s. He was good, but like many things, I just don't follow through and see things to the end, and I abruptly stopped going. Then in late 2012 I went to my GP and said I really needed help. He recommended someone near me and I called her and made an appointment, but I was not hopeful. And I didn't like her phone manner, she seemed too familiar with me, perhaps even not fully professional.

But I promised her and myself that I would be completely open and honest and would do whatever it takes. I will listen to advice, I will act on that advice, and I will see where that takes me. Whereas previously I had always said I would never take meds, I said if that's what it takes, so be it. And she put me on Pristiq, an SNRI for those that know what that means. And I was rather convinced it would have absolutely no effect on me. Not because I would fight it, I just couldn't comprehend how it could work. My mind was open to the possibility though.

And boy did it work. I became far more functional than I had been for a long time. I saw her regularly for about 4 months then less and less until I went overseas for a while. I stopped the meds, no problems there. And I'm in a better place now, but I could be better. My Mum says I should go back and I have considered it.

The funny thing is, I'm well educated and consider myself to be rather thoughtful and somewhat intelligent. But no one would look to me and say, he's got his shit together, his life is in order. I have made many poor decisions and non-decisions over the years. But I seem to be cut out for listening to others and providing advice. My therapist said that, many others have said the same, and I tend to agree. During late high school and when I was university and for a while after, I did a lot of tutoring and mentoring. And I enjoyed it and was good at it. I think I'm far better at listening to and helping others than I am at improving my own life. I don't live by example just yet, unfortunately.

 

[red+black]

I had one interesting observation a few years ago. At the time I was studying philosophy at night school and one night I was out with a beautiful and lovely girl. And I was very happy. But in the moment I was able to observe my current state and the way I was feeling, and I knew it would pass, that it was not long-term let alone permanent. I wasn't sad about that, I was simply observant and indifferent.

So it made me wonder why did it not seem that easy to observe times of unhappiness and depression. If I can observe joy and happiness and not let those feelings consume me, but just be, then it should be equally possible to not grip onto negative thoughts. So much easier said than done though.

Did anyone see Australian Story this week? - http://www.abc.net.au/austory/content/2014/s4093919.htm

 

[red+black]

Q&A tonight has a focus on mental health.

Although for some stupid reason the ABC invited Bob Katter.

 

[mojito]

Anyone else watching Suicide and Me on ABC2? Eye opening stuff

 

[Howard Littlejohn]

Q&A tonight has a focus on mental health.

Although for some stupid reason the ABC invited Bob Katter.

Ah, maybe because Katter is pretty regularly bringing up the problems with depression and suicide in rural areas and jsut as regularly being ignored. There are few, if any, MPs who have been as forthright when it comes to mental health.
The man might come across a little strange, but suicide (and the much higher rates in the bush) does appear to be a genuine passion with him and not a Rudd-like poll-driven pseudo-interest.

 

[red+black]

I guess my point is Katter has started that there are no homosexuals in his electorate, then he is seated next to Josh Thomas.

He would be as relevant to dealing with the mental issues of homosexuals as religious school chaplains would be.

 

[Filthy Sanchez]

Had never had firsthand experience with depression until very recently and it's been so difficult to deal with. A very close friend of mine's brother in law took his own life recently after his depression had severely gotten worse. I had met him a few times and he was a really friendly guy, it's so sad that this illness ruined his life.

My friend also suffers bipolar disorder and this death has only made her depressive states worse. She gets into these moods where she can't stop having these awful negative thoughts about herself and just cries. I try my best to keep her active and talk about things to take her mind off her loss but I've come to accept sometimes she needs to have these moments and all I can do is be there for her. It's just that I can't always be there for her and I'm worried sick that one time these depressive states might tip her over the edge. I keep reminding her that there are so many people that care about her because I don't know what else to tell her. She's so intelligent and funny and would have a very successful and happy life if she could move on from her illness. It's so exhausting trying to keep up with a person with bipolar disorder. Every day is so unpredictable, but I could live with the mania and the sudden decision making if it wasn't for these awful down periods she gets herself into.

As hard as it is to support someone with depression, after seeing its affects I just can't imagine how difficult it must be to actually live with it. My deepest sympathy is with all you fighting this illness.

I'd love to hear feedback on what sort of support people really appreciate when they are going through depressive states. I constantly leave her messages and visit when I can to help with things that she'd otherwise put off, but at times I'm really concerned I'm being to forthright and pushy with her. Any advice would be great

 

[timtamWB]

Had never had firsthand experience with depression until very recently and it's been so difficult to deal with. A very close friend of mine's brother in law took his own life recently after his depression had severely gotten worse. I had met him a few times and he was a really friendly guy, it's so sad that this illness ruined his life.

My friend also suffers bipolar disorder and this death has only made her depressive states worse. She gets into these moods where she can't stop having these awful negative thoughts about herself and just cries. I try my best to keep her active and talk about things to take her mind off her loss but I've come to accept sometimes she needs to have these moments and all I can do is be there for her. It's just that I can't always be there for her and I'm worried sick that one time these depressive states might tip her over the edge. I keep reminding her that there are so many people that care about her because I don't know what else to tell her. She's so intelligent and funny and would have a very successful and happy life if she could move on from her illness. It's so exhausting trying to keep up with a person with bipolar disorder. Every day is so unpredictable, but I could live with the mania and the sudden decision making if it wasn't for these awful down periods she gets herself into.

As hard as it is to support someone with depression, after seeing its affects I just can't imagine how difficult it must be to actually live with it. My deepest sympathy is with all you fighting this illness.

I'd love to hear feedback on what sort of support people really appreciate when they are going through depressive states. I constantly leave her messages and visit when I can to help with things that she'd otherwise put off, but at times I'm really concerned I'm being to forthright and pushy with her. Any advice would be great

Honestly I can't really give much advice on the matter, it varies from person to person. Usually though, it's hard, because people want to be alone when they're with someone, and with someone when they're alone. It might not seem like it always does, but she'll appreciate you visiting her and leaving her messages. You probably do, but sometimes just hang out with her and go do something fun, or at least get her out of the house, and just be there for her. I'd say though, when you visit her don't necessarily spend a lot of time there because it can be mentally exhausting for the other person and if you stay too long it can just make them annoyed and completely out of it.

I'm just speaking from personal experience. But you are doing a lot for her and you're being an amazing friend, good on you.

 

[Filthy Sanchez]

Honestly I can't really give much advice on the matter, it varies from person to person. Usually though, it's hard, because people want to be alone when they're with someone, and with someone when they're alone. It might not seem like it always does, but she'll appreciate you visiting her and leaving her messages. You probably do, but sometimes just hang out with her and go do something fun, or at least get her out of the house, and just be there for her. I'd say though, when you visit her don't necessarily spend a lot of time there because it can be mentally exhausting for the other person and if you stay too long it can just make them annoyed and completely out of it.

I'm just speaking from personal experience. But you are doing a lot for her and you're being an amazing friend, good on you.

Thanks a lot mate that's certainly worth thinking about. I've noticed if I spend too long with her it can cause even more self loathing, saying that I'm just wasting my time with her and stuff like that. It's just so hard to let go when she's in the depressive states. To know that she's alone in so much pain is just a terrible feeling that I can't stand. I'm taking care of myself so it's not getting me down,

Reading this thread has been very helpful, it's quite difficult understanding the mindset of a person with depression from the outside looking in.
Y

 

[TheFreshBanana]

Honestly, not sure there is much more you can do. Just remind her that you're there for her. Although you won't be there all the time for her, at least she'll think of you during the worst time.

This might be a bit nosy from you, but just make sure she's seeking professional help, and ultimately, time heals all wounds.

 

[Filthy Sanchez]

Yeah, I went with her to her GP for her referral. She gets terrible anxiety with things like appointments so it was nice to do that with her as it made me feel useful. Other than her sister she doesn't have any other family in Australia so Im kind of taking on more than just a supportive friend role. I know it must be so hard to see anything past the misery thier suffering now, but it's the optimism of a better life that's kept her going. I think it's so important for people with depression to hold onto this optimism so they can keep fighting another day.

 

[RedBullRacing]

It's a real hard one to answer that. Opening up is one of the hardest things in the world to do. I mean where is the guarantee that this person or persons you talk to are going to stay or genuinely care? That's what I'm dealing with right now. I don't think I have depression per se, but I do have rapid mood shifts where I go from perfectly fine to violent anger. It could he something as simple as a Facebook post that sets me off to, such is my jealously and confidence levels. Putting confidence in someone is super hard. I've done it twice and both times I've ended off worse because the friendship has ended. I've gone to councillors and that's helped a lot. But it's an ongoing struggle for me. As long as the drive is there to improve yourself. I think that's the main thing, eventually that drive will break down walls and get you talking, it did for me.

I know what you mean. I've been so positive the for the last week, I'm optimistic, and trying new things out, throwing things out there. Then just one little bloody thing brings me down. It becomes a driving point for all the other things and I end up sitting in my room all alone, and feeling really low about myself. When I'm not trying at all I'm fine, because I don't think about everything. But I am putting in a real big effort and I feel like people are just taking advantage of me.

The thing thats getting me down this weekend, is that I always make time for other people, even if I dont really like them. I always try to talk to people, say hello etc. I've been helping people with stuff at uni this week and don't feel like they appreciate any of it. Ive spent over 5 hours working on a presentation this week between me and two other girls. One of the girls put in a pretty good effort, but the other one has done nothing, I'm probably more disappointed that she hasn't even offered any feedback whatsoever and provided no conversation on the presentation. The sad thing is I actually like this girl, but right now I'm not so sure as I've sent two messages in the last week with no response. I understand she's going through her own difficulties, but seriously how hard is it to contribute. Generally I find people I get along with in class don't want to know me outside class I talk to them. seriously if i stopped all communication from me from now, I would go unnoticed for the entire week.

The last month I've bent over backwards to help other people out who are going through difficult times, then I feel like they get what they want and discard me, or as one girl is doing, feeding me negative comments fishing for complements, of which I reverse the question. I have to say having people feel sorry for me is the biggest thing I hate, and I hate it when people lure me into that trap. I don't actually mind if people are just honest with me, because that's the only way you are going to improve. I'm sick of people saying "you're a really nice guy" "you're an attractive guy"

So why then do I see all these really nice-Awesome girls with deadbeat losers, and they stay with them. And why don't girls show an interest in me? If these people are genuinely offering truthful advice, why doesn't it seem true?

I find this feeling I get when I sit in my bedroom is horrible. I have my xbox beside me, with three new games, and I dont want to play it. And I think my world is caving in. The more i seem to try the greater the difficulties. I'm the type of person that sends a series of messages, then a slightly different question and nothing happens and I panic. "now I've really done it"

 

[Matele]

I know what you mean. I've been so positive the for the last week, I'm optimistic, and trying new things out, throwing things out there. Then just one little bloody thing brings me down. It becomes a driving point for all the other things and I end up sitting in my room all alone, and feeling really low about myself. When I'm not trying at all I'm fine, because I don't think about everything. But I am putting in a real big effort and I feel like people are just taking advantage of me.

The thing thats getting me down this weekend, is that I always make time for other people, even if I dont really like them. I always try to talk to people, say hello etc. I've been helping people with stuff at uni this week and don't feel like they appreciate any of it. Ive spent over 5 hours working on a presentation this week between me and two other girls. One of the girls put in a pretty good effort, but the other one has done nothing, I'm probably more disappointed that she hasn't even offered any feedback whatsoever and provided no conversation on the presentation. The sad thing is I actually like this girl, but right now I'm not so sure as I've sent two messages in the last week with no response. I understand she's going through her own difficulties, but seriously how hard is it to contribute. Generally I find people I get along with in class don't want to know me outside class I talk to them. seriously if i stopped all communication from me from now, I would go unnoticed for the entire week.

The last month I've bent over backwards to help other people out who are going through difficult times, then I feel like they get what they want and discard me, or as one girl is doing, feeding me negative comments fishing for complements, of which I reverse the question. I have to say having people feel sorry for me is the biggest thing I hate, and I hate it when people lure me into that trap. I don't actually mind if people are just honest with me, because that's the only way you are going to improve. I'm sick of people saying "you're a really nice guy" "you're an attractive guy"

So why then do I see all these really nice-Awesome girls with deadbeat losers, and they stay with them. And why don't girls show an interest in me? If these people are genuinely offering truthful advice, why doesn't it seem true?

I find this feeling I get when I sit in my bedroom is horrible. I have my xbox beside me, with three new games, and I dont want to play it. And I think my world is caving in. The more i seem to try the greater the difficulties. I'm the type of person that sends a series of messages, then a slightly different propositional question and nothing happens and I panic. "now I've really done it"

I'm the same. I've been putting effort into making myself uncomfortable and reaching out to people. I live in a regional area, so all of my friends are at least a 20 minute drive away and I haven't seen most of them since last year, but a lot of them keep in contact and at least make effort to keep the friendships going, which is cool. All apart from my "best friend". Now I'll state it now, I'm a guy and she's a girl but we bonded really well a couple years ago, and have remained pretty strong until this year. Around July things started to get pretty strained, she lives 45 minutes away and after I finished my uni course she dropped out of school (which is coincidentally across the car park). We haven't seen each other or talked in months, despite my promises to try and call her at least once a week. She's cut me out of her life and for everything I did for her she's just thrown it away. Considering I threw away really good friendships with other people to support her while she was suffering depression, I thought she would do the same.

I know that half of my problem lay within the fact that I'm an extremely introverted person, But with all these people backhanding me and using me like this, I don't think I have seen a single reason why I shouldn't just shut every single person out. Life seems to not hurt as much when you're on your own.

 

[neng]

I've had an interesting year so far, it has probably been the most emotionally intense year of my life, the ups and downs have made me recognise the importance of my mental health.

It started with beginning to date a girl mid way through last year, things were great, more than great. Whilst I knew it was the honeymoon period, I felt as though this girl and I had something special. Fast forward six months, she believes she has no friends, her sister (who she believes to be her only friend) announces she is taking up a college scholarship for hockey in the US for two years, her school friends are neither here nor there and her work friends are more or less there for convenience. She completely changes and after a big argument she manages to tell me she is suffering from chronic depression, and she has been for some time. However, it wasn't until around a month following she got it treated. Things get hard. No sex. Barely any physical contact. I'm wondering what to do and am beginning to develop anxieties in my own head.

We have a trip to Italy planned for July, she is off to Melbourne with work friends a few weeks beforehand. We go to Italy, and she becomes even more unbearable. However I knew something more was up. By the end of the trip, she even questioned my mental health (which I had already established as being unwell). Get back from the trip, find out she had cheated on me in Melbourne with a guy from there she spoke to semi-regularly and had hooked up with a year or two before. My own anxiety had come to fruition. That tipped me over the edge, I broke up with her, three weeks later her sister moves to the US. I hung on for a year, and in the end it got me beat.

We spend time apart, not really speaking. Then began playing social volleyball together once a week, followed by a few catch ups and nights out with friends. Thought things were finally going to smooth out and we could manage to be friends. However, she manages continually to be unbelievably nice when it is just us hanging out, but around our friendship group she treats me like an imbecile. It got me really down last week, and so I've made the conscious decision not to be part of her life for an indefinite period purely for my own health.

I'm lucky that I have such a great support network around me, but this has been the toughest thing I've had to deal with in my young life so far. I have grown up incredibly and I now value so many more things. I don't think I'm completely out of the woods, but I feel I'm on the right path.