DESERT ISLAND LIST

[CALL ME SNAKE]

Ok the season is over. The draft is over and were now into our long dry streak with no Footy
So its time to talk shit to fill in the time ( well more shit than we usually do if thats possible )
So here goes the old classic conundrum .

Your stuck on a deserted island . You get a few choices . Choose them wisely cos they are the last ones you might ever get to make.

LAST DRINK
So you get one last alcoholic drink. Be it a stubby, glass of wine or spirits .

A BOOK
No i dont mean a porno mag i mean a proper book.
Youll be too busy looking for food to be whacking off behind a tree all the time.

FAVOURITE RECORD
Yeah Yeah i know theres no electricity so how do i listen to a f*****g record you all say.
Use you imagination campaigners , didnt you see Gilligans Island??
Go and make a turntable out of a crabs claw and some coconuts or something.

A WOMAN
Yep thats right , you get to choose 1 woman to take with you. Or one man if thats your thing.
Or maybe it isnt your thing but youve often thought that Frank from accounts is kind of cute.
Well now's your chance .





Ill go first

Last Drink.
I think ive gotta use a loophole in the rules and have a Darwin Stubby
The old NT Draught is a shitload bigger than a regular stubby so if im only having one im having a bloody big one

A Book
2001 A Space Oddity by Arthur C. Clarke.
I think ive seen the movie 4 times and ive read the book a couple of times.
I reckon if i read the book another 75 times i might actually have some F******g idea whats going on

Favourite Record
this one was tough for me to choose.
Exile on Main st, Blood Sugar Sex Magic, Born to Run, Angel Dust all couldve done me for my choice.
Had to go with 'Whats Going on ' Marvin Gaye.
Never get sick of it and i always get lost in his dreamy layered vocals and social commentary .

A woman
Geez who to pick?
Do i go Jane Bunn? Shes got those two huge warm fronts and she'd be able to tell if a cyclone is heading our way.
Maybe Jennifer Lopez? Why? Cos its Jennifer bloody Lopez thats why.
Ok im gonna go Kim Kardashian. Why?
Well theres a couple of obvious reasons And i could probably use that arse of hers to crack coconuts.
Plus im taking into account that this woman is soooooooooo desperate to be in the limelight that somehow eventually she is gonna figure out a way to get back to civilization. Until then she can just take nude selfies of herself with the camera phone i made for her out of a clam shell and a cuttlefish bone.

 

[Human Person]

Last Drink:
Make it a rusty nail please.

A Book (I’m assuming a survival manual isn’t allowed):
Don Quixote- it’s increibly long and I’m a slow reader, it’ll keep me going until I expire.

A Record:
The Official Soundtrack to Lord the Rings. To make the survival seem more epic.

Person to take with me:
Kristen Schaal, because I want someone who’d make me laugh to take my mind off the bad situation. She’d probably also be a great help with day to day survival tasks rather than expect me to do everything and complain the whole time.

 

[Present Not Past]

A WOMAN
For a desert Island fantasy adventure it would have to be Dawn Wells (Mary-Ann) from Gilligan's Island. I know campaigners that Dawn is currently 79 but it's my fantasy and I would want the Mary-Ann version of Dawn. I think I just couldn't survive on a desert island without Mary-Ann's coconut cream pie.
And while she's done with the baking during the day she can rub some of that coconut cream all over her young body in the evening and let a dirty old man lick it all off.

LAST DRINK
It would have to be the 4.5 L Johnnie Walker Black label. I wouldn't last long on that island so I would plan to be drunk most of the time.

A BOOK
The collected works of William Shakespeare. Obviously I would have a lot of time to kill so I would work my way through some of Bill's classics.
I could also stumble around drunkedly quoting Shakespeare to Mary-Ann. I'm sure that would impress the girl.

FAVOURITE RECORD
The Doors - The Doors. I couldn't think of a better album to go out with. First we would build a gigantic bonfire on the beach and Mary-Ann and myself would dance around singing "Light my Fire". Then we would sing about "Crystal Ships". And we would end the night drunk and senseless listening to the "The End". The end.

 

[borderbarry]

Last Drink A barrel of Guiness


A Book I am an avid reader at the best of times. I go through two novels a week, so Harry Bosch Omnibus by Michael Connelly


A Record I dont think I would bother. I am pretty deaf nowadays anyway.

Person to take with me. I am nearly 80, so would probably take a couple of dogs for company.

 

[CALL ME SNAKE]

Person to take with me. I am nearly 80, so would probably take a couple of dogs for company.

Yeah i hear what your saying

 

[gringo2011]

Last drink: Any really big bottle of really good old scotch. A little clam shell every night to warm myself up.
Book: Maybe The Outsider by Camus or for the same reason as Snake, James Joyce Ulysses. I have tried 3 times to work out what the **** is going on with that book and still don't understand it.
Record: Perhaps Check your Head by the Beastie Boys.
Woman: Milla Jovovich, I must like the crazy Slavic women.

 

[Southseas]

Last Drink - (I'm a smug beer w***er) - 8wired Bumaye Stout
Book - Dune, Frank Herbert
Record - Ryan Adams & The Cardinals - Cold roses
Woman - Mila Kunis

 

[StFly]

Last drink;

So I don't drink alcohol, at all. So a creaming soda, proper one from like the 60's/70's not this manufactured crap.

Last book;

I also don't really read novels, but A la recherche du temps perdu as it gives me time to both learn French, and since it's 13 volumes and a few million words, I at least won't be born and have plenty of paper to make fire if shit got dire.

Last Record;

Michael Jackson's Thriller, because we have it we just don't have a record player.

A woman;

Bear Grylls in a dress so I can eventually have a galleon to GTFO or drown. Plus, I'll probably get to eat shark and if not when he sleeps one of the 13 volumes of me cracking the shits with French can beat him to death. Win-win.

 

[PaddysurDaddy]

drink
simple man, longy of coopers green will do

book
a collection by john ashbery cos you could read it a thousand times and it would mean something different every time

record
silver jews - look out mountain, look out sea

woman
jennifer lawrence

 

[Keg on legs]

Quick question .... Why would I be whacking off behind a tree? It's a deserted ****ing island. I'm putting on a show for all the world to see!

Ok so to answer your question:

Drink?

The magic pudding of beer kegs so every time I pour one it fills itself up

Book?

To be honest I don't have the energy to read much these days but maybe something by Dean Koontz. In year 12 I studied "My name is Asher Lev" and loved it so maybe that

Album?

Rodney Rude so I can have a laugh and have fun reciting the jokes. Plus I get to have a sing along to "A well hung ploughboy"

Woman?

It would have to be my wife. I mean, who else would i possibly choose?


....... hang on, thank **** she has stopped reading over my shoulder.

 

[By a Point]

A Negroni
The Odyssey (Homer)
Led Zeppelin 4
My wife

 

[hoovinha]

Drink: Bottle of Glenmorangie 18 yr. A cheeky cigar as well if I can swing it.

Book: Heart of Darkness by Conrad. You could read the thing 50 times and still find new bits.

Record: Tough. Hourly Daily by YAI or A Bothered Mind by RL Burnside. Whichever floats.

Person. Oprah. Because if she went missing the entire Planet would lose their shit and turn the place upside down looking for her. When they found her, they'd find me.

 

[saintscott]

Last drink: as puncey as it is i don't mind a baileys on ice

Book: not much of a reader but like to kep my mind active. Maybe a big quiz book so if i ever got back i could clean up on millionaire or something

Record: pitch perfect soundtrack. Yep the baileys probably gave that away...

Woman: somewhat surprisingly after the above answers i would go for molly sims in her prime

 

[theprospect]

A WOMAN
Pretty tough to only say one, but without question, Margot Robbie.

LAST DRINK
Always wanted to try Pappy Van Winkle Family Reserve aged 23 years, so a bottle of that would be nice if I'm gonna be stuck on a desert island.

A BOOK
The Shining

FAVOURITE RECORD
Metallica - Kill 'Em All. Hard to say no to After the Gold Rush by Neil Young and Morning Glory by Oasis, but Metallica takes the cake for this one.

 

[Pardon me]

Last drink: Chivas Blue Salute

ABook: Magician, by Raymond E Feist - must of read it 30 times across a few iterations. Simply a fantastic story to get lost in.

A Record: tough one... either Metallica S&M or Nightwish, Live at Waacken

A Woman: My wife. Best mate in the world...besides my heeler

 

[AFLOnline]

How has no one said Em Ratajkowski yet? she's all i'd need on my island

 

[Grav]

Last Drink. Going out a bit like CALL ME SNAKE on this one, a very large one needed.
So 218 litres of Famous Grouse should keep me going.

A Book. Umm! Let’s make it “A Never Ending Story.”

A Record. Lately I’ve been bopping along (well an old fart likes to think he does) to Imagine Dragons “Thunder”
so it would have to be that.

A Woman. Would definitely be oh shit! My missus is coming My Wife phew!got away with that one.

 

[CALL ME SNAKE]

A WOMAN
Pretty tough to only say one, but without question, Margot Robbie.

LAST DRINK
Always wanted to try Pappy Van Winkle Family Reserve aged 23 years, so a bottle of that would be nice if I'm gonna be stuck on a desert island.

A BOOK
The Shining

FAVOURITE RECORD
Metallica - Kill 'Em All. Hard to say no to After the Gold Rush by Neil Young and Morning Glory by Oasis, but Metallica takes the cake for this one.

Definitely WOULD NOT want to be stuck on an island with a bloke who's gonna read the Shining a hundred times.

HERES NANGANATOR!!!

 

[Brains Trust66]

Drink - big bottle of scotch

Book - Bible as there is lots of pages to help with starting fires [emoji91] and toilet requirements and I’ve never read it either

Woman - Elle MacPherson from twenty years ago , you can tell my wife is in another room , lol

Record - Jeff Wayne’s War ofThe Worlds , I never get sick of it

 

[Moral Decay]

Last drink, I rarely drink nowadays but a bottle of Redbreast Irish whiskey.
Record, I'm contemplating my immortal soul, Mozart's Requiem Mass
Book, Polar Star by Martin Cruz Smith.
Woman, Hedy Lamarr in her prime

 

[st_trav_ofWA]

Drink : My fav beer is Little Creatures Rogers but if you are on a Desert Island then you gotta have a jug of Pina Colada's

Book : anything writen by Ben Elton.. am yet to find a book of his that i havent enjoyed

Record : now this is a hard one at the moment im going through a Nick Cave phase but i reckon being stranded with only Nick Cave songs i wouldnt last long.. so i reckon i would go with Jebediah - Slightly Odway album as it would take me back to my teen years..

Woman : honestly it would be my wife ... i know such a suck but can honestly say the best times ive ever had is with that girl so i couldnt imagine getting along with anyone else as well as i would with her ... alternativly i could do the world a favour and choose Pauline Hanson .. the debate alone would make the time pass quickly i would even convert to Islam (after finishing the pina colada) just to give her the shits

 

[st_trav_ofWA]

Last drink: Chivas Blue Salute

ABook: Magician, by Raymond E Feist - must of read it 30 times across a few iterations. Simply a fantastic story to get lost in.

A Record: tough one... either Metallica S&M or Nightwish, Live at Waacken

A Woman: My wife. Best mate in the world...besides my heeler

most people didnt like that album but i still give it a spin everynow and then... i reckon it would have been a great concert to go to...

 

[SaintsSeptember]

Ok the season is over. The draft is over and were now into our long dry streak with no Footy
So its time to talk shit to fill in the time ( well more shit than we usually do if thats possible )
So here goes the old classic conundrum .

Your stuck on a deserted island . You get a few choices . Choose them wisely cos they are the last ones you might ever get to make.

LAST DRINK
So you get one last alcoholic drink. Be it a stubby, glass of wine or spirits .

A BOOK
No i dont mean a porno mag i mean a proper book.
Youll be too busy looking for food to be whacking off behind a tree all the time.

FAVOURITE RECORD
Yeah Yeah i know theres no electricity so how do i listen to a f*****g record you all say.
Use you imagination campaigners , didnt you see Gilligans Island??
Go and make a turntable out of a crabs claw and some coconuts or something.

A WOMAN
Yep thats right , you get to choose 1 woman to take with you. Or one man if thats your thing.
Or maybe it isnt your thing but youve often thought that Frank from accounts is kind of cute.
Well now's your chance .





Ill go first

Last Drink.
I think ive gotta use a loophole in the rules and have a Darwin Stubby
The old NT Draught is a shitload bigger than a regular stubby so if im only having one im having a bloody big one

A Book
2001 A Space Oddity by Arthur C. Clarke.
I think ive seen the movie 4 times and ive read the book a couple of times.
I reckon if i read the book another 75 times i might actually have some F******g idea whats going on

Favourite Record
this one was tough for me to choose.
Exile on Main st, Blood Sugar Sex Magic, Born to Run, Angel Dust all couldve done me for my choice.
Had to go with 'Whats Going on ' Marvin Gaye.
Never get sick of it and i always get lost in his dreamy layered vocals and social commentary .

A woman
Geez who to pick?
Do i go Jane Bunn? Shes got those two huge warm fronts and she'd be able to tell if a cyclone is heading our way.
Maybe Jennifer Lopez? Why? Cos its Jennifer bloody Lopez thats why.
Ok im gonna go Kim Kardashian. Why?
Well theres a couple of obvious reasons And i could probably use that arse of hers to crack coconuts.
Plus im taking into account that this woman is soooooooooo desperate to be in the limelight that somehow eventually she is gonna figure out a way to get back to civilization. Until then she can just take nude selfies of herself with the camera phone i made for her out of a clam shell and a cuttlefish bone.

One of those big airport bottles of Jack Daniels Tennessee Fire.

Well i can multitask and no need to go behind a tree when no-one is around, but hell you're giving me a woman so no need for the pr0n. .... Its hard because so many of the good books are trilogies or series.
Maybe Lucy Irwin's castaway would have some insights, at least i haven't read it before.

Record - Pink Floyd : Dark Side of the Moon.

Woman - I thought of Amanda Donahoe, because i was thinking about the Castaway movie, even though i never read the book, but she's probably as old as my wife. So I'm choosing Sarah Lacina, I never heard of her before, but upon googling , she's hot enough, looks friendly and more importantly blitzed it on that survivor TV show, so i figure that after all the romantic stuff is done, she can go and catch fish and stuff. Frank narrowly misses out, yeah experimentation is good, but if i don't like it we might be on that island a long time, and who needs an accountant on an island.

 

[Present Not Past]

One of those big airport bottles of Jack Daniels Tennessee Fire.


Record - Pink Floyd : Dark Side of the Moon.

Woman - I thought of Amanda Donahoe, because i was thinking about the Castaway movie, even though i never read the book, but she's probably as old as my wife. So I'm choosing Sarah Lacina, I never heard of her before, but upon googling , she's hot enough, looks friendly and more importantly blitzed it on that survivor TV show, so i figure that after all the romantic stuff is done, she can go and catch fish and stuff. Frank narrowly misses out, yeah experimentation is good, but if i don't like it we might be on that island a long time, and who needs an accountant on an island.

As the sun sets on another day on the deserted island, with only the stars and moon providing you any light, you slip on Dark Side, and turn it up to 11. Awesome.

 

[SaintsSeptember]

As the sun sets on another day on the deserted island, with only the stars and moon providing you any light, you slip on Dark Side, and turn it up to 11. Awesome.

After taking a good portion of my Jack Daniels ration.
I wonder if you can smoke palm leaves.