peterss
Brownlow Medallist
- Joined
- Aug 22, 2004
- Posts
- 10,421
- Reaction score
- 922
- Location
- Safety Bay WA
- AFL Club
- West Coast
- Other Teams
- Brentford FC, Geelong Gumbies,
Ok so i admit that fremantle supporters have a massive chip on their shoulders and i try to conduct myself in an opposite manner. but when i read these i just had to share them........(they were sent to me in an email by a mate of mine).
Q. What do you do for a drowning Fremantle player?
A. Nothing. You could drag him to the top, but he'll choke anyway.
===========================
Q. Whats the difference between Fremantle and an arsonist?
A. An arsonist wouldn't waste 22 matches.
============================
Fremantle are bringing out a new bra! Plenty of support, soft and
no CUP!!!
============================
Did you hear that the Post Office has had to recall their latest
stamps?
They had pictures of Fremantle players on them. People couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
============================
Did you hear about the politician who was found dead in a Fremantle jersey?
The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his family from the embarrassment.
============================
Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says,
"Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered."
The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded."
The fourth one says, "I prefer Fremantle players. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arses are interchangeable."
============================
A man meets a friend and sees that his friend's car is total write-off and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend "What's happened to your car ?" "Well," the friend responds, "I ran over Matthew Pavlich". "OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt ?" "Well, he tried to escape through the park."
============================
Q. If you see a Fremantle fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A. It could be your bicycle.
============================
Q. What do Fremantle fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
============================
Q. What do you have when 100 Fremantle fans are buried up to their necks in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
============================
Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead Fremantle fan on the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.
============================
Q. You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a Fremantle fan.
You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?
A. Shoot the Fremantle fan - twice.
============================
Q. How many Fremantle fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Seven - one to change it, five to moan about it and make excuses and Chris Connolly to say that if the umpire had done his job in the first place the light bulb would never have gone out.
=============================
Q. What's the difference between a female Fremantle fan and a Pit bull?
A. Lipstick
=============================
Q. Santa Claus , the tooth fairy, an intelligent Fremantle fan, and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a $100.00 note. Who gets it?
A. The drunk, of course ; the other three are mythical creatures.
==============================
Q. What is black and brown and looks good on a Fremantle Fan?
A. A Doberman.
==============================
Q. What do Fremantle Fans use for birth control ?
A. Their personalities.
==============================
Q. What is the difference between an Fremantle Fan and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
==============================
Q. What do you call 5000 dead Fremantle Fans at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A good start.
==============================
A Fremantle fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Fremantle jumper. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St Peter in a Eagles scarf. "Hello, mate," says St Peter, "I'm
sorry, no Fremantle fans in heaven." "What?" exclaims the man, astonished. "You heard. No Fremantle fans." "But, but, but, I've been a good man," replies the Fremantle supporter. "Oh, really?" says St Peter. "What have you done then?" "Well," says the guy, "three weeks before I died, I gave 20 bucks to the starving children in Africa." "Oh," says St Peter. "Anything else?" "Well, two weeks before I died, I also gave 20 bucks to the homeless." "Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died, I gave 20 bucks to the Albanian orphans." "Okay," says St Peter, "you wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor." Ten minutes pass before St Peter returns. He looks the bloke In the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your sixty bucks back, now ******** off."
Q. What do you do for a drowning Fremantle player?
A. Nothing. You could drag him to the top, but he'll choke anyway.
===========================
Q. Whats the difference between Fremantle and an arsonist?
A. An arsonist wouldn't waste 22 matches.
============================
Fremantle are bringing out a new bra! Plenty of support, soft and
no CUP!!!
============================
Did you hear that the Post Office has had to recall their latest
stamps?
They had pictures of Fremantle players on them. People couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
============================
Did you hear about the politician who was found dead in a Fremantle jersey?
The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his family from the embarrassment.
============================
Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says,
"Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered."
The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded."
The fourth one says, "I prefer Fremantle players. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arses are interchangeable."
============================
A man meets a friend and sees that his friend's car is total write-off and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend "What's happened to your car ?" "Well," the friend responds, "I ran over Matthew Pavlich". "OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt ?" "Well, he tried to escape through the park."
============================
Q. If you see a Fremantle fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A. It could be your bicycle.
============================
Q. What do Fremantle fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
============================
Q. What do you have when 100 Fremantle fans are buried up to their necks in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
============================
Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead Fremantle fan on the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.
============================
Q. You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a Fremantle fan.
You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?
A. Shoot the Fremantle fan - twice.
============================
Q. How many Fremantle fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Seven - one to change it, five to moan about it and make excuses and Chris Connolly to say that if the umpire had done his job in the first place the light bulb would never have gone out.
=============================
Q. What's the difference between a female Fremantle fan and a Pit bull?
A. Lipstick
=============================
Q. Santa Claus , the tooth fairy, an intelligent Fremantle fan, and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a $100.00 note. Who gets it?
A. The drunk, of course ; the other three are mythical creatures.
==============================
Q. What is black and brown and looks good on a Fremantle Fan?
A. A Doberman.
==============================
Q. What do Fremantle Fans use for birth control ?
A. Their personalities.
==============================
Q. What is the difference between an Fremantle Fan and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
==============================
Q. What do you call 5000 dead Fremantle Fans at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A good start.
==============================
A Fremantle fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Fremantle jumper. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St Peter in a Eagles scarf. "Hello, mate," says St Peter, "I'm
sorry, no Fremantle fans in heaven." "What?" exclaims the man, astonished. "You heard. No Fremantle fans." "But, but, but, I've been a good man," replies the Fremantle supporter. "Oh, really?" says St Peter. "What have you done then?" "Well," says the guy, "three weeks before I died, I gave 20 bucks to the starving children in Africa." "Oh," says St Peter. "Anything else?" "Well, two weeks before I died, I also gave 20 bucks to the homeless." "Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died, I gave 20 bucks to the Albanian orphans." "Okay," says St Peter, "you wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor." Ten minutes pass before St Peter returns. He looks the bloke In the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your sixty bucks back, now ******** off."
)
) so you and your overweight, ill educated, virgin mates can have a group pullfest without blighting the rest of the planet with your mentally challenged humour you ****ing peon.
