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Kitchen Horrors

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bkozican

bkozican

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Just cooked 2 meat pies...I mean lovely pastry....Good texture pies (Yes, I live alone), get to the couch as 360 starts, The plate leans to the side and BANG ****** BANG




PIES ARE EVERYWHERE. ON THE FLOOR....EVERYWHERE


GD should be able to top this....over to you big :footy:
 
When I was like 12, running inside from skinny dipping in the pool at night so no light was on, my brother ran past me and shoved me out of the way. I stuck my arm out to break my fall and took down a massive birthday cake (Mum had just taken it out of the oven) on the way down and then cut my head open on the bench top that needed six stitches to fix.
 

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bkozican said:
Just cooked 2 meat pies...I mean lovely pastry....Good texture pies (Yes, I live alone), get to the couch as 360 starts, The plate leans to the side and BANG ****** BANG




PIES ARE EVERYWHERE. ON THE FLOOR....EVERYWHERE


GD should be able to top this....over to you big :footy:
Click to expand...


Hopefully a good premonition - the Pies will crash now it's halfway into the season ;)
 
You need one of these:

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Microwaved an egg to hard boil it 7 years ago to eat with an instant noodle soup, pricked the shell with a knife to unpeel it in the hot water, nasty little explosion of egg and hot water onto my face.

And a classic from my nanna many years ago whilst we were kids.

Visited her house, she had apple pie cooling down on top of the kitchen bench ready for the dog show on the weekend, brother bumps into it, tips it off the bench and onto the floor, nanna picks up the pieces like she doesn't care and takes it to the dog show.
 
I once spent 5 hours making a beef stock for my Pho and went to strain it but instead just tipped it down the sink as forgotten to put the pot underneath.
 
Big Sauce 21 said:
chucked a hissy fit when I was about 10 or 11 took spag bog into my room to eat, slid off plate onto my pillow...
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My brother had a bad experience with spag bowl.
He was probably 13 or so and he had his spag bowl in one hand and tried to get a fork out of the cutlery drawer with the other. Rather than setting the bowl down on the bench he tried to balance it on the drawer. It fell and the spag bowl ended up going everywhere in the cutlery drawer.
 
Once sprinkled a shitload of salt on my cornflakes thinking it was the sugar jar. Almost vomited my guts up after I hastily downed the first big mouthful.
 

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One of my worst kitchen disasters was when I came home drunk one night and decided to cook a couple of pies in the oven. I then proceeded to fall asleep lying on the couch watching tv and woke up a couple of hours later to a smokey burning smell, instead of two nicely cooked pies I had two black lumps of charcoal in the oven.
 
Got home drunk after celebrating a bunnies win, started cooking spag bol. Browned the onion then put the mince in half frozen in the pan. I was cooking in my room in this share house.

Then passed out on the bed.

Smelt a burning food smell woke up and was like sheeeeeiitttt.




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Being a bachelor it wasn't that often I'd cook a roast but I had a hankering one day so bought one, cooked it, wrapped it in some foil and let it sit for 10 minutes for whatever the reason is that you do that and when I went back to the kitchen my dog had dragged it off the table and was in the process of tearing the foil off so I washed it under the tap and put it back in the oven for another 10 minutes to kill the dog germs and ate it.
 
Had a hangover from hell and thought it a good idea to cook me some chicken fillet in the frying pan and for some weird reason decided to put dish washing liquid into the pan instead of oil.
 
Had one myself a couple of years ago.
Decided to make home made fried rice, and about to sit on the couch to eat it and my dog ran under my legs.
I lost balance and the rice went everywhere. Safe to say he left me alone for the rest of the night.
 

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Stratton_Gun said:
Constantly have sangas slide off plates which is always followed by loud cursing
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Actually that reminds me of the time I was in my caravan at Carnarvon Gorge and had made some sangas that were sitting on the table and was in the process of making a cuppa, heard a noise and turned around to seed a kangaroo in the van pinching the sangas! Yes he got away with them.
 
Was cooking bacon and eggs one sunday a few months ago. Decided I had too much bacon (if there is such a thing) so left a couple of rashers in the pan. Went to my room, consumed, before I smelt a horrible burning smell, before the smoke alarm started going off.

Ran out, discovered I had left the stove on full blast, and my two rashers were completely black.
 
Speaking about saucepans that are a nightmare to clean from personal experience don't ever leave a saucepan with oil in it on the stove without anything else in it for too long.


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Azzlandia said:
Got home drunk after celebrating a bunnies win, started cooking spag bol. Browned the onion then put the mince in half frozen in the pan. I was cooking in my room in this share house.

Then passed out on the bed.

Smelt a burning food smell woke up and was like sheeeeeiitttt.




Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk
Click to expand...
Cooking in your room?
 
Yes, was briefly in a share house which contained a few junkies.

Had to store all kitchenware and food in my room due to that stuff frequently being stolen in the kitchen from those junkies.


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