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Limericks!

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Bee

Bee

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Let's write some limericks! Yes, I am bored!

I'll cheat and post a couple that I originally posted on a thread in Bay13 almost 12 months ago.


Okay so here's one I prepared earlier! :D





Never try to understand
The breed they call the Collingwood fan
Crude, uncouth
and bare of tooth
Surely God's little joke on man!
 
Come on guys. Post some limericks. Amuse me!

Here's one which isn't strictly a limerick but who cares


I'll tell you a tale of a September day
when two giants came out to play.
The Bombers they came all set for a kill
baying for Blue blood to spill.
But the Blues too were prepared for the battle
their aim set on Bombers dreams to rattle.

With seconds remaining the Blues held tight
But then for the Bombers came a wonderful sight
Up the field Dean Wallis did fly,
"Oh no, not that prick" the Blues fans did cry!
He swooped on the ball laughing with glee -
If I kick this goal – a hero I’ll be!
But in two seconds flat he was kissing the ground
Stopped in his tracks by that dog - Fraser Brown.

The commotion was deafening it shook the whole joint
For the Blues had won by a solitary point!
They’d brought the Bombers down to their knees
For the mother of all bloody victories!
 
Bee said:
Come on guys. Post some limericks. Amuse me!

Here's one which isn't strictly a limerick but who cares


I'll tell you a tale of a September day
when two giants came out to play.
The Bombers they came all set for a kill
baying for Blue blood to spill.
But the Blues too were prepared for the battle
their aim set on Bombers dreams to rattle.

With seconds remaining the Blues held tight
But then for the Bombers came a wonderful sight
Up the field Dean Wallis did fly,
"Oh no, not that prick" the Blues fans did cry!
He swooped on the ball laughing with glee -
If I kick this goal – a hero I’ll be!
But in two seconds flat he was kissing the ground
Stopped in his tracks by that dog - Fraser Brown.

The commotion was deafening it shook the whole joint
For the Blues had won by a solitary point!
They’d brought the Bombers down to their knees
For the mother of all bloody victories!
Click to expand...

That's GOLD Bee!! :D

I'm not really lyrically minded. The best I can offer is this little gem I heard many moons ago...

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Some poems rhyme,
But this one doesn't


Sorry :o
 
Bee said:
Come on guys. Post some limericks. Amuse me!

Here's one which isn't strictly a limerick but who cares


I'll tell you a tale of a September day
when two giants came out to play.
The Bombers they came all set for a kill
baying for Blue blood to spill.
But the Blues too were prepared for the battle
their aim set on Bombers dreams to rattle.

With seconds remaining the Blues held tight
But then for the Bombers came a wonderful sight
Up the field Dean Wallis did fly,
"Oh no, not that prick" the Blues fans did cry!
He swooped on the ball laughing with glee -
If I kick this goal – a hero I’ll be!
But in two seconds flat he was kissing the ground
Stopped in his tracks by that dog - Fraser Brown.

The commotion was deafening it shook the whole joint
For the Blues had won by a solitary point!
They’d brought the Bombers down to their knees
For the mother of all bloody victories!
Click to expand...

Love it Bee! :D
 

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Geez you guys I thought you'd all be able to manage a limerick or two.

There is a prize for the best one. Custody of ODN's big stick for 24 hours!:D


Okay then, let me show you how it's done!

There once was a man named Dick
Whose wallet was extremely thick.
He said I am not short of a bob,
But I'll take on this job.
Because I was asked to do it by Sticks.


There once was a man named Dennis
Whose accolades were virtually endless
So he aimed for the moon,
but came away with the spoon
And said, "this new job is leaving me friendless!"


See simple! :p
 
there once was a team called the blues

Who were so proud they thought they couldn't lose

they could stand on the ground

And make it shake all around

and they could buy any player that they choose
 
There once was a mod known as Rick
who wielded a rather large stick.
He said "by the rules you will heel -
or my stick you will feel,
But it's better than a lash from Bee's whip"!
 
HBF said:
Pfft!
I'd much rather you whip me Bee!

*Now, when is next plane down to Hobart?*
Click to expand...

Is that coz a certain little birdy told you that Bee was hot!!! :)
 
said BlueDevil from the North-West of Tassie
these mainlanders seem awfully randy
but beware stay away, or by crikey you'll pay
the girls down here are so savage they'll eat you like candy.
 
There was a lady called Bee
Who live far away in tassie
She once wore a wrap
And showed off her map
And that is enough crap from me
 

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An Ode to the Odious

There once was player named Hird,
A mighty fine champion I've heard.
But it's rather a shame
That in limericks, his name
Rhymes the best with absurd, nerd and ****.

So instead I will write about Lloyd,
A foe with whom SOS always toyed.
An actor, a wimp,
With wrists somewhat limp,
And of talent completely devoid.

And then there was bloody Mercuri,
Who always incited my fury.
If I'd had my way,
He'd be taken away
And paraded in front of a jury.

Now the king of the cesspit was Sheedy
Who was arrogant, cunning and greedy
But when Wallis got tackled
By Brown, how I cackled
And cheered, and drank 'til I felt seedy.

Hating Bombers has always been great
But I'm happiest when I relate
As a kid, I rejoiced
When the trophy was hoist'
By Big Nick in 1968.
 
There was a player called Kouta
Who the fans all thought was super
A master of his trade
He could be counted on in spades
Long will be remembered the days he played
 
There was a season called '95
which 2 teams made the finals alive
the Blues and the cats
Played quite a match
the blues were the only ones to survive.
 
There was a sad day for the Blues
'cause some of their supporters were hoping for them to lose
Yet a player would never chose to tank
and those who say so are having a wank
So let them hear from all of us loud boo's to those hoping to lose.
 

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