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Social Science Negotiating/bargaining

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So last night I was at a friend's place, and there were 10 of us there - 5 couples, all but one engaged. We were discussing wedding stuff etc, and I was explaining how I have managed to get both our photographer and band down by paying cash (the photographer we got down $300, and our band $200 by suggesting this - to which both they agreed to with no issue).

When I mentioned this one couple sort of looked at me with wary eyes, and one of the girl's from another couple also sort of gave me a weird/judgmental look. The male in the couple said something like you can't do that for wedding's etc (mind you I am thinking, well I just have and it clearly works), and the girl from another couple said something along the lines of "oh, but if you aren't paying them as much, they won't do as good a job as if you were paying them the full price. Wouldn't you just want to pay them what they're asking so do they do a better job?" The boss and I sort of just looked at each other and let it pass.

The aforementioned male also bought a place not long ago, and I referenced that when he said what he said above. He retorted with that the "real estate agent said the developer will not budge on price." I thought bullshit, you've been suckered etc. He then went on to say that "if I want something done later, they will help me out because I paid what they wanted without messing them around" I lolled in my head and thought, if you want extra stuff, they're gonna make you pay and not give a shit if you paid full ask. He then went on to mention that they were high in demand and 5/6 townhouses have been sold, but the developer has done a reduction on the remaining one... by $1000. This shows a few things 1) They're not actually that in demand 2) The developer is actually allowing some wriggle room.

I understand money can be a taboo topic around many people - which is fair enough - but I have noticed with wedding stuff, people are generally happy to discuss prices for what they've paid for things.

And look, I'll be the first one to say I'm a tightarse. If I can attempt get something cheaper, I will bloody well give it a shot. You don't know if you don't ask etc. I buy a tv, I say what can you do, if they can knock off $50, that's $50 in my pocket. We saved $4000 on our apartment, got a good deal on our tv, dining table etc.

So, GD, are you one to try and make a saving, or will you just pay advertised price?
 

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Don't ask, don't get.

It mostly comes down market forces and bargaining position.

What about in the instance of weddings?

What makes weddings special? Add the word wedding to anything and a premium is immediately applied. No reason they aren't fair game for negotiation.

If people want to talk about how much they paid for things I think that's fine. I'm not planning a wedding so that conversation sounds dull AF but if I was it'd be nice to know prices as well as overall experiences. I know with photographers (not wedding specific) they vary a lot in terms of what happens to the photos they take and who owns them etc. Some just want you to buy their prints, books etc. and will only give you scaled down photos with water marks while others will let you take the files and do what you want with them.
 
The aforementioned male also bought a place not long ago, and I referenced that when he said what he said above. He retorted with that the "real estate agent said the developer will not budge on price." I thought bullshit, you've been suckered etc. He then went on to say that "if I want something done later, they will help me out because I paid what they wanted without messing them around" I lolled in my head and thought, if you want extra stuff, they're gonna make you pay and not give a shit if you paid full ask. He then went on to mention that they were high in demand and 5/6 townhouses have been sold, but the developer has done a reduction on the remaining one... by $1000. This shows a few things 1) They're not actually that in demand 2) The developer is actually allowing some wriggle room.

Yeah he's in for a shock if/when (probably when - townhouses built today are often piles of crap) a problem comes up. Nobody is going to give a shit that he paid the advertised price.
 
What about in the instance of weddings?
you never go with the first price for anything wedding related some people try to charge like wounded bulls and paying more doesn't equate to better service

you get an idea of what the normal ranges for things are and then start making choices, cash cuts a lot of prices related to weddings
 
Lots of people, especially young Australians, lack assertiveness. They won’t even return a meal at the restaurant when they **** up the order, let alone haggle with builders etc.

Must be a tradies dream these people.

Just ask for what you want.
 
Don't ask, don't get.

It mostly comes down market forces and bargaining position.



What makes weddings special? Add the word wedding to anything and a premium is immediately applied. No reason they aren't fair game for negotiation.

If people want to talk about how much they paid for things I think that's fine. I'm not planning a wedding so that conversation sounds dull AF but if I was it'd be nice to know prices as well as overall experiences. I know with photographers (not wedding specific) they vary a lot in terms of what happens to the photos they take and who owns them etc. Some just want you to buy their prints, books etc. and will only give you scaled down photos with water marks while others will let you take the files and do what you want with them.
Exactly right. End of the day, if that was the case, you pay what is to be expected.

Well yeah, the one we've gone with was pretty expensive, so I got quotes from about 10 other photographers, went back to him and said what can you do, and he knocked $300 off the price.

you never go with the first price for anything wedding related some people try to charge like wounded bulls and paying more doesn't equate to better service

you get an idea of what the normal ranges for things are and then start making choices, cash cuts a lot of prices related to weddings
Yep, the mate I'm referring to just isn't that sort of guy, which is fair enough, but in 3/4 of things we've booked so far, we've saved money on all because of haggling etc, and it bloody well works.

It was like we were poorer people (ironically) for getting discounts.

I will always try to negotiate price on things like tvs, white goods etc. It doesn't hurt to ask.
Most definitely. I think it's a pride thing for some people too.

Did you save a lot on wedding stuff from bargaining?
 
So last night I was at a friend's place, and there were 10 of us there - 5 couples, all but one engaged. We were discussing wedding stuff etc, and I was explaining how I have managed to get both our photographer and band down by paying cash (the photographer we got down $300, and our band $200 by suggesting this - to which both they agreed to with no issue).

When I mentioned this one couple sort of looked at me with wary eyes, and one of the girl's from another couple also sort of gave me a weird/judgmental look. The male in the couple said something like you can't do that for wedding's etc (mind you I am thinking, well I just have and it clearly works), and the girl from another couple said something along the lines of "oh, but if you aren't paying them as much, they won't do as good a job as if you were paying them the full price. Wouldn't you just want to pay them what they're asking so do they do a better job?" The boss and I sort of just looked at each other and let it pass.

The aforementioned male also bought a place not long ago, and I referenced that when he said what he said above. He retorted with that the "real estate agent said the developer will not budge on price." I thought bullshit, you've been suckered etc. He then went on to say that "if I want something done later, they will help me out because I paid what they wanted without messing them around" I lolled in my head and thought, if you want extra stuff, they're gonna make you pay and not give a shit if you paid full ask. He then went on to mention that they were high in demand and 5/6 townhouses have been sold, but the developer has done a reduction on the remaining one... by $1000. This shows a few things 1) They're not actually that in demand 2) The developer is actually allowing some wriggle room.

I understand money can be a taboo topic around many people - which is fair enough - but I have noticed with wedding stuff, people are generally happy to discuss prices for what they've paid for things.

And look, I'll be the first one to say I'm a tightarse. If I can attempt get something cheaper, I will bloody well give it a shot. You don't know if you don't ask etc. I buy a tv, I say what can you do, if they can knock off $50, that's $50 in my pocket. We saved $4000 on our apartment, got a good deal on our tv, dining table etc.

So, GD, are you one to try and make a saving, or will you just pay advertised price?

Sounds like a boring night with a bunch of stiffs.

Negotiate your way to some more interesting friends.
 

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Not that I'm likely to propose to my gf, but the price of having a wedding & reception is enough to put me off ever having one.

I don't usually buy things where bartering is acceptable, but with our lease running out soon, it's time to start house hunting for our own place, and I'll be damned if some real estate twat is gonna scoff at my offer if I think the advertised price is a bit high.
 
Not that I'm likely to propose to my gf, but the price of having a wedding & reception is enough to put me off ever having one.

I don't usually buy things where bartering is acceptable, but with our lease running out soon, it's time to start house hunting for our own place, and I'll be damned if some real estate twat is gonna scoff at my offer if I think the advertised price is a bit high.
The numbers quoted for the "average" Australian wedding are staggering but that doesn't mean you have to pay them.

A big part of that though is being on the same page as your partner before you get married.

I know people that went into big debt to get married and I just don't get it
 
Exactly right. End of the day, if that was the case, you pay what is to be expected.

Well yeah, the one we've gone with was pretty expensive, so I got quotes from about 10 other photographers, went back to him and said what can you do, and he knocked $300 off the price.


Yep, the mate I'm referring to just isn't that sort of guy, which is fair enough, but in 3/4 of things we've booked so far, we've saved money on all because of haggling etc, and it bloody well works.

It was like we were poorer people (ironically) for getting discounts.


Most definitely. I think it's a pride thing for some people too.

Did you save a lot on wedding stuff from bargaining?
We avoided the wedding prices by calling it an engagement party and not having most of the traditional aspects of a wedding.
 
Not that I'm likely to propose to my gf, but the price of having a wedding & reception is enough to put me off ever having one.

I don't usually buy things where bartering is acceptable, but with our lease running out soon, it's time to start house hunting for our own place, and I'll be damned if some real estate twat is gonna scoff at my offer if I think the advertised price is a bit high.
If you went and bought and a tv/washing machine/furniture etc, would you just pay advertised price?

I'm not talking about wandering down to Myer and hoping to get a discount on a pair of shoes you're going to buy there lol
 
I have some relatives who went with someone cheap for wedding shots back in the 70s. He ****ed up the film and all wedding shots they have are from amatuer shots by guests.

I guess it depends how much you want to push the negotiation and how important the service is that you want it successfully done. Maybe they will do the same job at $300 vs $500 who knows. Risk vs benefit.
 

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Lots of people, especially young Australians, lack assertiveness. They won’t even return a meal at the restaurant when they **** up the order, let alone haggle with builders etc.

Must be a tradies dream these people.

Just ask for what you want.
This is so true. No one can deal with confrontation, no matter how small it might be. Just ask ffs!
 
If you went and bought and a tv/washing machine/furniture etc, would you just pay advertised price?

I'm not talking about wandering down to Myer and hoping to get a discount on a pair of shoes you're going to buy there lol
No way, we bartered our way down with our fridge and washing machine.
 
He retorted with that the "real estate agent said the developer will not budge on price." I thought bullshit, you've been suckered etc. He then went on to say that "if I want something done later, they will help me out because I paid what they wanted without messing them around" I lolled in my head and thought, if you want extra stuff, they're gonna make you pay and not give a shit if you paid full ask.
You lolled in your head but I can't believe you idn't go full blown Cartman.

 
Why would you believe anyone who is both working for the owner of the thing you're buying and gets paid a cut of the price, so it's in their interest to make it as high as possible?

When I bought my house I told the agent that it had been on the market for almost a year because it was poorly finished with cheap fixings and $35000 over priced at the minimum.

They only counter offered with $5000 more than I hugely cut them down with. I made it clear that was my last dollar to spend on it, take it or leave it.

Of course they took it. Mwahahahaha
 
Don't others think that young people have no respect these days? :p (so being assertive/returning a ruined meal would go against that ;))
As for the topic- I would only try and bargain for a more expensive item such as electrical goods, computers, cars, a house...
Not for everyday shopping, and not for a service rather than an item
 

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