Oh the pain ...

[TheMase]

My girlfriend just broke up with me.

We have tried to sort things out, but she only gave it a week.

She said to me that we will be single and if I want her back I can try and get her back.

I think that is a load of **** to be honest, and am thinking I want to tell her where to go with that idea.

I figure if we couldn't work it out as a couple then we have no chance of working anything out as singles.



What would others do if your girlfriend/boyfriend did that to you and asked the same of you

Oh the pain .....

 

[DaveW]

I don't quite follow what she actually is asking of you. How long were you guys an item?

I was recently dumped, it sucks. But a week and a half later I'm mostly over it. (I think) I'll probably remain friends with her even though it's weird being less close.

 

[TheMase]

Originally posted by DaveW
I don't quite follow what she actually is asking of you. How long were you guys an item?

I was recently dumped, it sucks. But a week and a half later I'm mostly over it. (I think) I'll probably remain friends with her even though it's weird being less close.

A year and a bit.

In fact I am not entirely sure what she is asking me.
Basically I think she wants to be single, and have me chase her again if I want her back, and have to make the effort to do that.

I do not know if I am willing to do that. I was willing to try and work things out as a couple, but her breaking up with me is a signal to me that I would be wasting my time.

 

[DaveW]

Originally posted by TheMase
Basically I think she wants to be single, and have me chase her again if I want her back, and have to make the effort to do that.

Yeah I don't like the sound of that. Hard to fathom why she's asking that if she wants to be single. It doesn't sound like she's particularly interested, and you'll likely just get burnt again trying to woo her back. (just my opinion)

 

[the REAL dingo]

You're girlfriend/ex-girlfriend sounds like she's 15...is she any good?

 

[ThePowerFromPort.com]

I'm sorry it sounds like a waste of time to me but I could be wrong. If she's after a bit of breathing space she would be having a clean break for a while, not be asking you to chase after her. How old is she? She sounds immature and wanting to play mind games.

 

[TheMase]

Originally posted by the REAL dingo
You're girlfriend/ex-girlfriend sounds like she's 15...is she any good?

She is 19.

You'd never know it though, would you?

 

[Diego]

Luke ---> move on

not worth the trouble is she wants to play silly games.

 

[Sydneyfan]

Sounds like she wants a bit of breathing space but wouldn't mind if you were to try to win her back to inflate her ego, at the same time she's probably hoping to play the field abit too.

If she's going to play silly games (which it sounds like), don't waste your energy, from my experience in similar situations, you'll be chasing her but she will keep on putting up further barriers in the way, all the while making you look like a goose.

Green pastures ahead, Luke.

 

[ScouseCat]

Sorry to hear things didn't work out mate, hope you're doing ok.

It sounds to me like she has made her decision with regards to how she feels, I certainly wouldn't chase after her, that's not how relationships should work.

Frosties_Flank is absolutely right, I think it is time to give her what she wants, (to be single) and move on.

 

[carn_the_nmfc]

Originally posted by TheMase
My girlfriend just broke up with me.

We have tried to sort things out, but she only gave it a week.

She said to me that we will be single and if I want her back I can try and get her back.

I think that is a load of **** to be honest, and am thinking I want to tell her where to go with that idea.

I figure if we couldn't work it out as a couple then we have no chance of working anything out as singles.



What would others do if your girlfriend/boyfriend did that to you and asked the same of you

Oh the pain .....

Masey,
Try and get her back but do it differently than before. It works because I have tried it before.
Sorry to hear that you have broken up with your girlfriend

 

[TheMase]

Thanks everyone for your advise. Most her have voiced what I have been thinking, and I thank you all for you help.

I think it is about time I pleased myself. This might sound selfish, but I think that I need to enjoy myself. I have spent the last year trying to please her and make her happy, but I think it is about time that I did what I wanna do and enjoy myself.

 

[ThePowerFromPort.com]

If it has been a really big effort to please her with nothing showing for the effort then it hasn't really been working. Both partners need to make an effort in a relationship for it to work, but it shouldn't be that hard work that you can't enjoy being yourself. It sounds as though she was very selfish and wanted everything her own way. Even now she wants to be able to play the field but have you there as her security blanket if things don't work out elsewhere. You have made the right decision. If she wants you she should come back and chase after you but you would be better off wih someone more mature, even a little older than you if need be.

 

[ThePowerFromPort.com]

Oh and maybe have a break from relationships altogether for a while. Don't get stuck back into something right away, go out and have some fun for a while, play the field.

 

[Jars458]

Tell her you have a new girlfriend who is much better in bed

This will make her jealous and want to please you in whole new ways.

 

[TheMase]

Originally posted by ThePowerFromPort.com
If it has been a really big effort to please her with nothing showing for the effort then it hasn't really been working. Both partners need to make an effort in a relationship for it to work, but it shouldn't be that hard work that you can't enjoy being yourself. It sounds as though she was very selfish and wanted everything her own way. Even now she wants to be able to play the field but have you there as her security blanket if things don't work out elsewhere. You have made the right decision. If she wants you she should come back and chase after you but you would be better off wih someone more mature, even a little older than you if need be.

This is exactly what my dad was saying to me.
I completely agree.

I have pretty much been at her beg and call for a year. Wherever she needed to go I drove her there (she doesnt have a licence or a car).
I drove her to UNI, to work, and numerous times to Sydney/Wagga/DUBBO to see her family (I reckon 3-5 times to Sydney, 8 times to Dubbo and Wagga 1), these are only guesses.

I have pretty much done whatever she wanted of me, and if that isn't good enough, then I have nothing more to offer.


I do not intend on getting into a serious relationship for a while. I need to enjoy myself for a while. To me this means a few things. Concentration of music (learning to play guitar) and going to concerts.
Since I have been with her, I have lost my passion for playing footy to. I need for that to return.

I actually feel better now than I did yesterday. I found this out this morning but the last week or so she has been dragging me along like from the back of a car (tied up). And well it has been very draining on me emotionally. It is a bit of relief to get it over with, and now know where I am.

I have also barely eaten anything since Friday, which isnt a good thing when I am a rake already! I am finding this hard to overcome though ...

 

[ThePowerFromPort.com]

Mase, if you have friends you can talk to about it when you feel down it really helps. It's amazing how much it helps to know you have friends who care and are willing to listen. And listen to your dad....... parents have very good advice sometimes but the kids rarely want to listen.

 

[TheMase]

Originally posted by ThePowerFromPort.com
Mase, if you have friends you can talk to about it when you feel down it really helps. It's amazing how much it helps to know you have friends who care and are willing to listen. And listen to your dad....... parents have very good advice sometimes but the kids rarely want to listen.

I always listen to my dad. I have massive respect for my dad, he has been through a heap and certainly knows how I feel.

I have friends, and work colleagues here that I have been speaking to. They have all pretty much said the same as most people on this thread.

Thanks heaps for your help.

 

[daicos4ever]

The whole ''I'm not going anywhere'' thing is alright in theory. In practise it doesn't work. Basically the dumped will give it a week then start hounding the dumper to get back together. This will lead to the dumper getting together with somebody else. Either that or the dumped hates the dumper to much. It's a nice little reason to break up with someone but in my experience it doesn't work.

I know it hurts mate but you do get over it. Believe me.

 

[Fred]

Re: Re: Oh the pain ...

Originally posted by goaldrush
Masey,
Try and get her back but do it differently than before. It works because I have tried it before.
Sorry to hear that you have broken up with your girlfriend

I didn't know you were that way inclined. Puts a whole new slant on things.

 

[knuckles]

A 40 yo man can always get a 20 yo GF. A 40 YO women knits. You'll win this one in time.

 

[TheMase]

Originally posted by knuckles
A 40 yo man can always get a 20 yo GF. A 40 YO women knits. You'll win this one in time.

I might sound stupid here.

But I didn't quite understand that ...

 

[Fred]

Originally posted by TheMase
I might sound stupid here.

But I didn't quite understand that ...

It's OK - he's a Merchant Banker. Nobody understands them.

 

[Docker_Brat]

If you let her walk on you once, she will try to use you as a door mat forever.

If some girl tried to kick my arse I'd be like "HEY! Why don't you stop dressing me up like a mailman and make me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in the bedroom and have some sex with some guy I don't even know.."

 

[Jars458]

Originally posted by Docker_Brat
If you let her walk on you once, she will try to use you as a door mat forever.

If some girl tried to kick my arse I'd be like "HEY! Why don't you stop dressing me up like a mailman and make me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in the bedroom and have some sex with some guy I don't even know.."

Ha ha - Gold.

If a women dumps you there is something wrong with HER.

Never look back.