Perfect long term relationships that go sour

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So Robyn and I finished it about a month ago. So two three month relationships finish

This time it was mutual to end it. She can't do relationships is what she said and I tended to agree

We had the most awesome sex, beyond that we had some nice times but not enough ...she has full time care of her daughter and literally no back up plan. ...we went out once at night ....We agreed FWB would not work for us. Neither of us was sad and it was like business decision almost.

I'm dating (2 dates so far) a cute blonde from the gym and Robyn texted me the other day saying hey I heard you and Belle are together...text read nice choice and good luck - happy for you.

Belle is personal assistant for a CEO of local company and likes her job, blonde 5ft 6 and slim

So we move on.

Footy season keeps me occupied too ..work is good.
 
remember dave123 - each failed one (and i mean failed in a good way) brings you closer to the one. keep plugging away mate

me and loz celebrate 6 months next week. has flown. madly in love with her

have started divorce proceedings against hellfire. progressing slowly which should be expected.

combined my tribe with her's over easter which went fantastically. my daughter and her son hit it off which was great, really pissed hellfire off! i think my daughter is beginning to understand that her mother is not a very nice person.
 
I've got nothing to report.
Not even having dates anymore, cant find any matches on tinder or bumble. its the same faces too on each app (I guess like I am when they see me).

I too am enjoying the footy and have decided to let the hair and existing beard go all Grizzly Adams, working from home I can do this.
I guess you could say I have decided to go full hermit and am checking out.
 

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Dips said:
remember dave123 - each failed one (and i mean failed in a good way) brings you closer to the one. keep plugging away mate

me and loz celebrate 6 months next week. has flown. madly in love with her

have started divorce proceedings against hellfire. progressing slowly which should be expected.

combined my tribe with her's over easter which went fantastically. my daughter and her son hit it off which was great, really pissed hellfire off! i think my daughter is beginning to understand that her mother is not a very nice person.
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Thanks mate ...my new date is going well 3rd date this weekend ..drinks and dinner out at Indian. She's cute little blonde no children which makes it so much easier ...she's funny and bright

She knows a few of my friends too


Perfect Saturday ....kids footy ...then afl...then drinks and dinner with belle
 
Billy ray said:
I've got nothing to report.
Not even having dates anymore, cant find any matches on tinder or bumble. its the same faces too on each app (I guess like I am when they see me).

I too am enjoying the footy and have decided to let the hair and existing beard go all Grizzly Adams, working from home I can do this.
I guess you could say I have decided to go full hermit and am checking out.
Click to expand...
I recently got onto zoosk, sent out a few winks and had some interest, so I coughed up the 6 month subscription and bang, had a one nighter a few days afterwards and now have met an absolutely gorgeous girl, 2 dates so far, one was a whole Saturday together and last night was dinner and movie and was invited to stay over. She is not on any other dating sites, so you may find a few new ones on zoosk Billy, if you haven't already tried it. I am not sure whether they take you a little more seriously because you have paid for the subscription, but the girls tend to get into conversation with you a lot more than the other sites/apps.
 
W. Smithers said:
I recently got onto zoosk, sent out a few winks and had some interest, so I coughed up the 6 month subscription and bang, had a one nighter a few days afterwards and now have met an absolutely gorgeous girl, 2 dates so far, one was a whole Saturday together and last night was dinner and movie and was invited to stay over. She is not on any other dating sites, so you may find a few new ones on zoosk Billy, if you haven't already tried it. I am not sure whether they take you a little more seriously because you have paid for the subscription, but the girls tend to get into conversation with you a lot more than the other sites/apps.
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yeh I did have a poke around on zoosk, plus okcupid, and pof again. same faces on all, and very low numbers compared to the big two, at least where I am and up to 75km away. good work though :thumbsu:
 
W. Smithers said:
I recently got onto zoosk, sent out a few winks and had some interest, so I coughed up the 6 month subscription and bang, had a one nighter a few days afterwards and now have met an absolutely gorgeous girl, 2 dates so far, one was a whole Saturday together and last night was dinner and movie and was invited to stay over. She is not on any other dating sites, so you may find a few new ones on zoosk Billy, if you haven't already tried it. I am not sure whether they take you a little more seriously because you have paid for the subscription, but the girls tend to get into conversation with you a lot more than the other sites/apps.
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Nice work Smithers

I agree ...same as rsvp ...paid up they take their choices more seriously
 
Belinda date tonight ..3rd date

I do have this girl in Mandurah whom I met here when she was on holidays ...not via the net

She's keen for me to,come up and have a surf with her and some sex ...I will see how this Belinda plan plays out
 
dave123 said:
Belinda date tonight ..3rd date

I do have this girl in Mandurah whom I met here when she was on holidays ...not via the net

She's keen for me to,come up and have a surf with her and some sex ...I will see how this Belinda plan plays out
Click to expand...


Third date with belle was nice ...she wants to take it slow ...I'm not sure if I want the Mandurah girl ...um but I'm not in a relationship with Belle ...hmm?

Maybe the surf girl is the one ...Liz ...so what do I do ?

Think about it objectively and not let my penis dictate my thoughts lol
 
dave123 said:
Plenty ....they like sex

It's relationships they don't like ....had fun with one girl already before I met belle

All good
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Good God. I'm moving to Perth. Where the hell are you meeting these women?

Update. While my life is falling apart, on the dating front I have a major problem with shyness/introversion.

Although not shy I don't feel the need to crap on endlessly and I have lost the ability to approach. A bit like a forward who has a good year but then can not kick straight I am at sea. Plus I need space. I talk all day and need quiet time at night. Even watching TV is too much.

The only time I can be myself is on Holidays (once in a blue moon) or pubs. But Melbourne pubs come to life past 11pm. Who seriously post 27 goes out past 10 on most nights of the week?
 
Run n Spread said:
Good God. I'm moving to Perth. Where the hell are you meeting these women?

Update. While my life is falling apart, on the dating front I have a major problem with shyness/introversion.

Although not shy I don't feel the need to crap on endlessly and I have lost the ability to approach. A bit like a forward who has a good year but then can not kick straight I am at sea. Plus I need space. I talk all day and need quiet time at night. Even watching TV is too much.

The only time I can be myself is on Holidays (once in a blue moon) or pubs. But Melbourne pubs come to life past 11pm. Who seriously post 27 goes out past 10 on most nights of the week?
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Social anxiety is common ...not saying it's that but it sounds like it

Tackling it is two fold .....you've got to expose yourself to social situations, welcome it.....learn to do some deep breathing and mindfulness as this does decrease our cortisol levels in our brain which is the stress chemical and often leads to us freezing or feeling shy ...we know the words but can't get them out.

Approach is hard ...fear of rejection is common but guess what the girl is thinking the same ...I waist that guy would just say hi but he won't .....the guy is thinking if I just talk to her she will reject me

I'm naturally conifidemt and charismatic ...came from coaching sport and lots of personal development work ...

If you do the work on yourself you become more confident

I went and did a public speaking course and that helped ...getting really fit also helps, fit people are naturally more confident too. Good luck
 

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Belle four dates ..done .we ended it last week and she wasn't commited to anything at all

I've met another girl last week on zoosk and she is a massage therapists ...we had met already in passing when we had coffee we realised

Nice ...see what happens ...
 
cricketnut14 said:
slow down dave :)

actually second thoughts, keep at it :)
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...

Ya know it makes sense hey

Belle girl was nice looking smart ...but works communicator I've seen

New girl is intelligent and nice looking .....

Off to Perth next week ..I'm not sure what to do.....? .should I have some fun with Tinder girl I met ages ago .....she's up for some exercise and mental stimulation (more commonly known as sex)
 
dave123 said:
...

Ya know it makes sense hey

Belle girl was nice looking smart ...but works communicator I've seen

New girl is intelligent and nice looking .....

Off to Perth next week ..I'm not sure what to do.....? .should I have some fun with Tinder girl I met ages ago .....she's up for some exercise and mental stimulation (more commonly known as sex)
Click to expand...


you know you wanna :)
 
Whaturest said:
I have heard a lot of stories where people got bored in their relationship after 7-8 years being together. The thing that i observed is that it usually happen to those who are together for during a long time without having babies or major changes in their life.
My dear friend had broken up with her boyfriend after 8 years of relationship because he never wanted to go further and change something in their relationship...
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This was my parents. Married at 27, divorced at 50.
Mum always wanted to travel, go out with friends , buy new things etc Dad didn't (and doesn't) like change, socialising or new things at all. 2 very different people.
Feel bad for mum cos she wonders whether her kids (me and 2 younger brothers) lack of relationships (I've had 1 proper gf, 1 kinda gf and the brothers none and we're all in our 20s) stems from her and dads failings.
 
Ok, some advise for a "friend" based off a very abbreviated timeline
- around Xmas girl breaks up with on and off bf, not necessarily cos she doesn't love him but cos he's a dick
- meets me late Feb after I start working at a private gym she's a member at
- start hanging out and messaging reasonably regularly
- hugs goodbye turn into kisses goodbye
- displays of affection become slightly more public (she's an excitable type so if she hits a PR in the gym she'll run over and jump on top of me to celebrate)
- hanging out and messaging dies off a little, which coincides with me having a mental breakdown leading up to uni exams and shunning everyone (including her) and the kisses goodbye stop (this is earlier this month)
- I apologise to her and ask if I'm correct in saying that I like her more than visa versa
- she says she likes me but is confused and doesn't want to jump straight into another relationship because she feels like she doesn't know who she is anymore (was with ex from 18/19-24)
- after this messages turn into 30-45 minute phone calls every other day
- went to gym owners birthday on the weekend, picked her up so she could drink then when I dropped her home she initiates a kiss goodbye (normally it's me)
- this week I've barely gotten a word out of her
I guess the question is; what the hell is going on? she doesn't appear to like opening up to anyone so it's hard to get any answers out of her unless she's in the mood to, but then trying to get that to coincide with when we talk is damn near impossible.
She still talks to the ex which in isolation I don't have a problem with, but sometimes I do get the impression that I'm there either as an intermediate til she finds someone else/they get back together or she's just keeping me around because I make her feel good (classic case of someone who needs constant validation).
 
Aeglos said:
Ok, some advise for a "friend" based off a very abbreviated timeline
- around Xmas girl breaks up with on and off bf, not necessarily cos she doesn't love him but cos he's a dick
- meets me late Feb after I start working at a private gym she's a member at
- start hanging out and messaging reasonably regularly
- hugs goodbye turn into kisses goodbye
- displays of affection become slightly more public (she's an excitable type so if she hits a PR in the gym she'll run over and jump on top of me to celebrate)
- hanging out and messaging dies off a little, which coincides with me having a mental breakdown leading up to uni exams and shunning everyone (including her) and the kisses goodbye stop (this is earlier this month)
- I apologise to her and ask if I'm correct in saying that I like her more than visa versa
- she says she likes me but is confused and doesn't want to jump straight into another relationship because she feels like she doesn't know who she is anymore (was with ex from 18/19-24)
- after this messages turn into 30-45 minute phone calls every other day
- went to gym owners birthday on the weekend, picked her up so she could drink then when I dropped her home she initiates a kiss goodbye (normally it's me)
- this week I've barely gotten a word out of her
I guess the question is; what the hell is going on? she doesn't appear to like opening up to anyone so it's hard to get any answers out of her unless she's in the mood to, but then trying to get that to coincide with when we talk is damn near impossible.
She still talks to the ex which in isolation I don't have a problem with, but sometimes I do get the impression that I'm there either as an intermediate til she finds someone else/they get back together or she's just keeping me around because I make her feel good (classic case of someone who needs constant validation).
Click to expand...
I guess it depends on your own personality. Where do you want this to go? Is she someone you think is going to be a long term person in your life? Not hope to be or '' I will be single for the rest of my life if I dont'' etc

I think she now is looking for you to lead a bit. Not drag her by the hair but just ring her and say Friday night we are going here here and here I will pick you up

Show some more interest than stay in the friendzone
 
GreyCrow said:
I guess it depends on your own personality. Where do you want this to go? Is she someone you think is going to be a long term person in your life? Not hope to be or '' I will be single for the rest of my life if I dont'' etc

I think she now is looking for you to lead a bit. Not drag her by the hair but just ring her and say Friday night we are going here here and here I will pick you up

Show some more interest than stay in the friendzone
Click to expand...

In some form or another I think she will be in my life for a long time.
We have a couple of big common interests (gym/fitness and outdoors) and a lot of common personality traits, but enough differences (in interests and personality) that it's not "too perfect" (hopefully that makes sense).
Haha I'm definitely not a "what happens if I'm single the rest of my life" type of person. It's been about 5 years since I've been on a date (am 28) and it hasn't been an issue for me at all (granted a lot of travelling in that time). Up until recently I don't think I was mature enough for a serious/long term relationship anyway.
I know she was/is a lot worried about getting 'old' and running out of time to get married etc which is ridiculous given she's 24 but imo a lot of that comes from her previous relationship (bit of a hunch I got from something she said about being with him for 5 years and not married, living together etc and how long it'd take to find someone else and have that length of relationship)

W. Smithers said:
Don't wait around mate, plenty more fish in the sea.
Click to expand...

The logical side of my brain says this, though emotion does beat out logic in most instances lol
 
Aeglos said:
In some form or another I think she will be in my life for a long time.
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Then its Friendzone. Sometimes you must be prepared to lose when trying to win. Its not that I don't think you should aim for a relationship, but that if it doesn't come off I'm not sure staying friends is an option either.

From the rest of your post it seems she wants commitment. You are only providing a friends commitment at the moment. Maybe some of the females here can help but to me she wants babies and a ring and is willing to grab the next person who gives that promise to her. This gets back to my previous post of taking charge, but be prepared to lose.
 
Aeglos said:
Feel bad for mum cos she wonders whether her kids (me and 2 younger brothers) lack of relationships (I've had 1 proper gf, 1 kinda gf and the brothers none and we're all in our 20s) stems from her and dads failings.
Click to expand...

I doubt it's their/her fault. My parents are together (still are- in fact even all my aunties/uncles are still together, only have been separated by death, not divorce). None of my brothers are married, neither am I and have only had 1 LTR ever (i'm 37).
 
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