VelvetSledge
Moderator
- May 24, 2007
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20 degrees maximum. Partly cloudy. Very high (90%) chance of showers during the afternoon and evening. Light winds.
IT'S GON RAIN.
SportsBet:
WEST COAST EAGLES: $1.29
ESSENDON BOMBERS: $3.66
CrownBet:
WEST COAST EAGLES: $1.31
ESSENDON BOMBERS: $3.60
UBET:
WEST COAST EAGLES: $1.29
ESSENDON BOMBERS: $3.75
We've just come in from $6.00 earlier in the week to these prices here, for what it's worth.
Odds on me forgetting that we were playing Thursday and rushing this hackjob thread together in record time? $1.01
ESSENDON BOMBERS
A solid, if not relatively uninspiring performance against a team we have traditionally struggled against for a fair while.
The Lions were brave and tried their hardest, but eventually experience won out over the youthful Brisbane brigade and the Bombers came away with yet another interstate win; two in three weeks.
With Dyson Heppell copping a brutal, but fair knock to the head from Luke Hodge early in the second quarter, we looked like we were in a world of trouble, but the Bomber midfield held strong and came away with a victory.
Surprising numbers with David Myers somehow racking up 28 touches in a decent performance, with Zach Merrett topping all comers with 29.
Jake Stringer played what was arguably his best game in the red and black, with a very successful 22 touch, 3 goal effort.
Dev Smith continued to be Jesus in a smaller, more muscular form.
Even Mitch Brown got in on the action and came away from the game with two goals.
A good win, but a reasonably forgettable performance.
This set us up with a solid 11 day break before the greulling flight to Perth on Virgin economy, where Tom Bellchamber's nose is right above his giant balls and Dyson Heppell's hair needs it's own seat.
Also, Woosha did this on Queen's Birthday.
BRISBANE LIONS 8.14 62 def. by ESSENDON BOMBERS 12.12 84
BEST: Merrett, Stringer, McGrath, Myers, Smith, Saad
GOALS: Stringer 3, Brown, Heppell, McDonald-Tipungwuti 2, Green, Guelfi, McKernan
INJURIES: Heppell (Knocked the f out), Smith (Calf)
REPORTS: Nil
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WEST COAST EAGLES
After a fantastic run of thirteen thousand and four games undefeated, the mighty Eagles came crashing down to Earth at the feathers of a, scientifically and avianarily, inferior bird in the Swans.
It seems bizarre to think that Eagles could be defeated by Swans when all Swans do is sit in lakes, eat stale bread, make loud noises and appear on the lids of certain Tzatziki dips, but I digress; the Swans have now handed the Eagles their only two losses for the year, both at home and away.
Josh Kennedy never really got into the contest, with Dane Rampe holding him to only two goals for the entire game.
Inaccuracy hurt.
Elliott Yeo continues to be a superstar for the Eagles alongside having a seriously shoutable surname, a view also shared by Brian Taylor in the Channel 7 box.
McGovern wasn't fantastic against Franklin this time around. While Buddy didn't infuence the contest all that much, he was still afforded 7 shots at goal for 2.5.
Liam Ryan is lightning, but old mate BT can't seem to get the casual racism out of his way, considering he called him Rioli for about half the night.
Jake Waterman looks alright. When he was younger, was he a waterboy? Serious question.
Take into consideration that the Eagles have a 6 day break including a flight from the other side of the country while we cop an 11 day break, and things are looking alright.
SYDNEY SWANS 10.12 72 def. WEST COAST EAGLES 7.15 57
BEST: Yeo, Redden, Naitanui, Duggan, Masten
GOALS: Kennedy, Yeo 2, Ryan, Waterman, Lycett
INJURIES: Nil
REPORTS: Nil
ESSENDON EMERGENCIES
James Stewart, Jackson Merrett, Dylan Clarke, Aaron Francis
WEST COAST EMERGENCIES
Dom Sheed, Jarrod Brander, Jack Petruccelle, Brendon Ah Chee
--------------------------
ESSENDON INS: No change
ESSENDON OUTS: No change
WEST COAST INS: Fraser McInnes, Mark Hutchings, Will Schofield
WEST COAST OUTS: Josh Kennedy (Leg Fracture), Dom Sheed, Jarrod Brander (Both Omit)
No Francis or Clarke make Sledgy something something. If it's a winning formula, I guess you don't mess with it. The same time who won against Brisbane two weeks ago, with no change at all. Very interesting. And yet, boring at the same time.
The Eagles have made a forced change with Kennedy having to be out due to a hairline fracture in his leg; this is now the first time that they will not have either Kennedy or Darling in their team since Darling debuted in 2011. This is an immense loss for the Eagles and a huge win for an Essendon side chomping at the bit to try for another interstate win. With Dom Sheed on the outer yet again, plus Jarrod Brander just not doing enough against the Swans to remain in the team this week, we see the trio of Fraser McInnes, Mark Hutchings, and veteran Will Schofield return to the side.
It's hard to write about the changes when they're boring as bat s**t and Ronaldo just scored a ripper header in the fourth minute v Morocco.
**** that guy.
ESSENDON BOMBERS - #35 - MATT GUELFI
What a find this kid has been. Overlooked in two drafts, told he wouldn't make it, and here he is. A regular in the Bombers side now, bringing courage and tenacity to all contests he can get to. Hard as a cats head with the looks of an early-day Backstreet Boy, Guelfi has shown to all Bombers fans that his running off half back, through the middle and into the forward 50 can be deadly, plus his delivery into the attack is second to not very many.
He's just got really nice hair.
ESSENDON BOMBERS - #6 - JOE DANIHER
Season.
Over.
He won't be back in 2018, and we need to see how our line-up functions for an extended period without him. The poor thing with Joey here is that he has become such an integral part of the Essendon fabric, that we are now, technically, forced into learning how to make a forward line from scratch. Considering, on top of that, that James Stewart hasn't been fantastic in recent weeks (hence his dropping), and we're working with a string with old mate LORD SMACK as our talisman.
2018 is a weird year.
WEST COAST EAGLES - #9 - NIC NAITANUI
Arguably the best ruckman in the game, NicNat will very clearly jump higher and outrun two-foot Tom tonight. He is more than likely the most dangerous player that the Eagles have in their arsenal, especially when you consider that they are missing their two big forwards in Kennedy and Darling. While it's hard to man up a player of Naitanui's size, especially when his opponent is rather slow and cumbersome (sorry Bellch), we should be seeing the bigger Essendon midfielders trying to get in the way of him while he runs off his own ruck taps.
Step up, David Myers!
WEST COAST EAGLES - #2 - MARK LECRAS
Remember when he slotted 12 against us and now every time I look at Doss I cringe a little bit?
It's a bizarre feeling this week, having had a week off from Bombers footy. I had no rage, no frustration last week. Well, maybe I had a little bit when Dustin Martin touched an umpire and got off because no-one wants to suspend the Avatar-looking bloke with the coloured in skin, but I digress. I wonder if this club and the rollercoaster ride we seem to endure every single year takes its toll? Perhaps the bye comes at the perfect time to recharge our batteries and get excited for the second half of the year, one full of promise where we're coming off two interstate victories within three weeks (which very rarely happens). Maybe, just maybe, the Essendon lads can take stock of the form which we have shown recently, save for the complete and utter pigshit we served up to Mr Hardwick and his merry band of yellow and black goons.
Then again, perhaps we're treading water at this point. We came into the season full of hope and desire, thinking we would be pushing for another finals campaign, preferably one without a genuine Franklin fisting this time around. Lo and behold, however, and we have come to the mid-way point of the year with very little to cheer about. Our All-Australian key forward is out of the team for the rest of the season with Osteitis Pubis, we have five wins and seven losses, our attendances have been down, our performances have brought back Smallpox, and I'm pretty certain that a few of our "forward movements" have shot Tupac and put Shamu in a chlorine tank. Piss.
Where do we see ourselves at this point?
Personally, I don't see us as that far off. A few genuine inside mids away from being a seriously good unit. With the news that Ollie Wines broke my heart and re-signed with Port this week, the talk around Bulldog father-son and curly headed git Mitch Wallis really turns up to eleven. Are we genuinely that one midfielder away? Our defence is solid, especially considering the continuous form of Hooker, Guelfi, McKenna and Saad, plus the enormous upside of Hurley if he gets it all together. We have the forward talents of Daniher (when his groin doesn't explode), McDonald-Tipungwuti, Oraaaazzziiioooo Fantasiiiaaaa, and the now-consistent efforts from Jake Stringer. The midfield has solid names, but they just don't seem to get the hard ball as much as others. Heppell, Merrett, McGrath, Langford; names that are getting there now, and starting to gel.
This year, so far, has been a real crock of s**t. Piss poor losses to the Dogs and to **** Carlton have really shagged us. Pure embarrassment. But, we aren't far away. Think of the rest of this year as a rebirth, somewhat; where we can look at the positives of playing the youth in Guelfi, Ridley, Clarke, Francis... Oh.
Wait.
-VS
The truest meaning of the word Rant, from TheGrizz . Amazing.
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The ‘state of the game’ is the hottest word in the AFL since tanking and journos are throwing it around like a Tim Membrey Set Shot. Spray enough of them in the general direction and you will get one reasonably straight eventually. For whatever reason, the quality of football sucks (see Zach Packages rant two weeks ago for more detail). Not only that, but the AFL media said ‘hold my beer’ and gone and done their absolute best to make coverage unbearable. If I have to hear one more feux-macho discussion that has nothing to do with the football during a channel 7 broadcast of the football I will throw my remote through my TV.
IM NOT KIDDING BRYAN. TRY ME.
Not only that, but we are blessed with some riveting football discussion. The bi-annual discussion of Carltons list management and tanking strategy continues hogging the headlines. Seriously, the REASON THEY SUCK NOW IS THE REASON THEY HAVE SUCKED FOR THE LAST 13 YEARS, they cant draft and develop properly and Brendan Bolton and his staff is still trying to fix a mess that was started as soon as Brett Ratten was shown the door. Check back in with us in two years and JUST DROP IT.
Not only that, the intense analysis in football such as whether players intentionally but innocently touch an umpire or whether they intentionally and threateningly touch is about as interesting as watching a Hawthorne game in Tasmania. Its drab, sorta important in some vague way but we all turn off before the discussion is over because we want to preserve whatever brain cells we have left. If I have to spend one more minute listening about umpire contact, or hear Andy Maher whine on SEN about how Curnow got rubbed out but Martin didn’t I will lose it. GET OVER IT ANDY, HE TOUCHED AN UMPIRE AND DUSTY IS A PROTECTED SPECIES. WE ALL KNOW IT SO TOUGHEN UP.
The game, and its perception of it is in one of the worse states I have seen in a long time. The AFL’s obsession with emulating the NFL has come full circle and it is now starting to alienate its fans just like Roger Goodell and his band of money hungry cronies did to Gridiron. If you throw enough flashy things at them like draft prospects running around in spandex (seriously though the kids are under 18, this is surely just some sick sporting perversion….) and make the graphics ok on the television we wont notice that at the same teams win nearly every year. It will escape us that scoring is at an all time low and that buying chips at the footy put us behind on our mortgages.
They talk about fixing the state of the game, well here is a start.
Fixture games on Friday and Thursday nights that will be worth the time slots. No more Carlton, Western Bulldogs or St Kilda. No longer do I turn on the television to watch second rate sides stink up my TV with over-handballing and lacklustre efforts. If I wanted to watch that I would go to Auskick down the road or turn on my own Bombers (both are of similar quality).
Reward teams for playing exciting footy, or just downright force them. Zones, or whatever, just do something to change the Auskick style of play. The Bulldogs and Richmond have drafted and recruited players who can bludgeon the ball forward but have ruined the spectacle of the game. Too many pack situations and not enough footy. You have them all over to your $10m mansion (yet somehow force them to bring their own drinks you scrooge) and ask them nicely to play better football. Do your job and force them to. Its their jobs to use loopholes to win, now you do yours.
And while your at it, how many committees do you reckon you could possibly need this year. You probably need another committee just to oversee all the other committees you have instigated. Its out of control Gil! On the other hand does anyone else get a disctinct Mark Neeld-Woosha vibe between Gil and Steve Hocking. Sheesh, no wonder nothing is happening.
But don’t worry folks, Damian Barrett has it all figured out for us. Here is the 10 step plan to fix football for us mere humble footballing goers.
http://www.afl.com.au/news/2018-06-06/barrett-10-ways-to-fix-footy-for-the-fans
What a load of incredulous tripe. You absolute nuffy.
Do you genuinely think we give a stuff about Wednesday pressers?
Do you honestly believe that my blood boils at the thought of a company logo being on the collar of a flippin' club polo?
When did it ever occur to you that we spend our days trawling twitter for funny comments made by AFL footballers?
Who gives a toss about having injury lists on Mondays, if they play or they don’t right?
WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK MAN.
What this happens to be is the ultimate, nee the perfect example of this whole problem. The AFL and its journo’s think the state of the game can be fixed with bells and whistles, better game coverage and more media to jam down our throats. BUGGER OFF.
You don’t have some strange footballing enlightenment while we little people lurk in the darkness struggling to know left from right in the footballing world.
What an absolute joke. If there was an award at the Australian Sports Media Awards for most tone-deaf piece of literature this year he could prepare his speech now.
That list, with the exception of curtain raisers and fixturing suggestions is a veiled swipe at the AFL to make the media’s job easier. To give you more things to over analyse and jam down our throats. We have to watch the worst quality football this side of the Boer War and you are worried about logos on shirts.
You seem to believe that whatever is wrong with the football is centred around how we don’t have enough coverage of the things which are already boring. As if Coaches will suddenly be nicer if they are forced to talk even more. You idiot.
Apparently what is wrong with the AFL is that we need more fluff and media jammed down our throats about irrelevant topics and what players said on social media.
What an absolute pisstake. I call Bull.
I want good footy, is that too much to ask Gil? Is it?
I want open play, goals, speccies, Barratt to be demoted to head photocopier, long runs, to laugh at Carlton (check) and Hawthorn (SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS WERE MEANT TO SUCK BY NOW YOU JERKS! WHAT THE HECK WHY DON’T YOU GO AND…..PULLING OUT) and to afford chips and a pie at the footy without having to saw off my right leg in the mens toilets to hand over as security.
How about we start with that first.
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If you would like to nominate for a guest spot as a ranter, please PM me!
ROUND 9, 2017
Etihad Stadium
HhhhnnnNNGGGGG
ESSENDON BOMBERS 19.11 125
def. by
WEST COAST 8.16 64
---------
ESSENDON BEST: Z Merrett, Zaharakis, Daniher, Watson
ESSENDON GOALS: Daniher 5, Fantasia 3, Hooker, Green, McDonald-Tipungwuti
WEST COAST BEST: Gaff, Vardy, Sheen, Shuey
WEST COAST GOALS: Kennedy 4, Vardy, Darling 2
---------
CHANGES SINCE THEN:
ESSENDON OUTS: Zaharakis, Watson, Kelly, Hartley, Colyer, Daniher, Parish, Leuenberger, Stewart
ESSENDON INS: Saad, Brown, Stringer, Smith, McKernan, Langford, Redman, Bellchambers
WEST COAST OUTS: Mitchell, Priddis, Sheed, Butler, Darling, Wellingham, Mutimer, Vardy, Barrass, Kennedy
WEST COAST INS: Rioli, Nelson, Lycett, Naitanui, Schofield, Cole, Jetta, Hutchings, Waterman, Ryan
MELBOURNE:
TV: Channel 7 (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST), FOXFooty (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST)
RADIO: 3AW, ABC, ABC Grandstand, Triple M, SEN
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
SYDNEY:
TV: 7mate (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST), FOXFooty (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST)
RADIO: -
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
ADELAIDE:
TV: Channel 7 (LIVE at 7.00pm ACST), FOXFooty (LIVE at 7.00pm ACST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 7.00pm ACST)
RADIO: FiveAA, ABC, ABC Grandstand, Triple M
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
PERTH:
TV: 7mate (LIVE at 5.30pm AWST), FOXFooty (LIVE at 5.30pm AWST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 5.30pm AWST)
RADIO: 6PR, ABC, ABC Grandstand, Mix FM
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
BRISBANE:
TV: 7mate (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST), FOXFooty (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST)
RADIO: -
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
TASMANIA:
TV: Southern Cross (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST), FOXFooty (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST)
RADIO: ABC, ABC Grandstand, Triple M, AFL Nation
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
DARWIN:
TV: Southern Cross (LIVE at 7.00pm ACST), FOXFooty (LIVE at 7.00pm ACST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 7.00pm ACST)
RADIO: ABC, ABC Grandstand, AFL Nation
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
If we were ever going to get a win against the Eagles, in Perth, this would be it. I can't see it happening though. Sue me.
West Coast by 13.
guess what
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