Game Day Round 3: Melbourne v Essendon, Friday April 1, 7.20pm AEDST - MCG

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MELBOURNE DEMONS

They were pushed, but the reigning premiers continued on with another win to maintain their undefeated start to the season.
Christian Petracca is the best player in the game right now, and it's not close. He finished with a career-high 41 touches with 14 of them being inside 50s.
The Demons started slowly but ultimately ground out the win against a plucky Suns outfit, who continued their trend of being seriously hard to beat in the first half of the season.
Luke Jackson is going to prove to be one of the future stars of the competition - he kicked two goals and gathered the footy 21 times, including seven clearances. He found himself winning the footy all over the ground too, and wasn't limited to just ruck and back-up key forward duties.
The second quarter was key for the Demons, with the premiers slamming on six goals with laser precision. If only we knew how to kick straight.
A forgettable evening for Demons fans, but the only thing that counts is the win.


GOLD COAST SUNS 10.9 69
def. by
MELBOURNE DEMONS 12.10 82

GOALS:
Brown, Jackson, Pickett 2, Fritsch, Gawn, Harmes, McDonald, Oliver, Viney
BEST: Petracca, Jackson, Bowey, Oliver, Neale-Bullen, Gawn

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ESSENDON BOMBERS

An ultimately frustrating afternoon at Marvel for the Bombers.
We started like a house on fire, dominating the first quarter to take a solid lead into the first break, but Brisbane turned it on immediately after.
This was one of those days where a single player ultimately decides the game, and, once again, it was Lachie Neale. Completely left unchecked, he gathered 41 disposals and kicked two goals. And made me want to belt my head into the guard rail at Marvel. Repeatedly.
We can't be too upset with the effort shown by our boys; they tried, which is more than can be said for our Round 1 effort.
Peter Wright looked to be on track for another Bulldogs-style game, dominating the first quarter with no answer, whilst Zach Merrett and Darcy Parish continued to rack up big possession counts.
Unfortunately for us, that would be Zach's last such effort for the next couple of months, with the superstar and reigning Crichton Medalist succumbing to a syndesmosis injury that has required surgery.
Nik Cox's injury looked somewhat worse on the ground, but he's since returned to training and should only miss a couple of weeks.
Dyson Heppell... It might be time to have a conversation. Just really, not good.
James Stewart is a great defender, but his lack of effort last week is a seriously bad look.
Even Jordan Ridley looked a little lost out there.
Can't win games if you don't kick straight, and the Lions' accuracy around goals proved to be one of the more telling stats of the day.
Archie Perkins is a superstar. Sign him. Now.
* Joe Daniher.


ESSENDON BOMBERS 10.15 75
def. by
BRISBANE LIONS 15.7 97

GOALS:
Perkins, Wright 3, Cutler, Merrett, Smith, Stringer
BEST: Parish, Merrett, Perkins, Wright



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ESSENDON EMERGENCIES: Ben Hobbs, Brandon Zerk-Thatcher, Devon Smith, Alec Waterman

MELBOURNE EMERGENCIES: Toby Bedford, Jake Melksham, Sam Weideman, Luke Dunstan

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Subs are announced one hour prior to bounce

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LATE CHANGE:
Melbourne: Ben Brown (H&S Protocols) replaced in selected side by Sam Weideman

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Skipped the selection table this week, sorry. V tired.


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You know, for a bloke who has continuously reamed us time after time, I took a lot of joy out of Buddy Franklin slotting his 1000th goal last week. The scenes of the crowd running onto the hallowed SCG turf were incredible, and I feel privileged that I was able to witness them. That being said, did anyone else feel this serious claustrophobic panic watching him struggle to get to the rooms? Thousands of randoms pointing their phones at you, trying to touch you - in the middle of a pandemic, no less - and trying desperately to just get back to the rooms so you can breathe again... Man, that was hard to watch. Good to see Geelong get flogged though. Cop that.

Let's get into the last week in footy.

The new coach honeymoon continued for Collingwood, who are playing a reasonably attractive style of footy under Craig McRae. The Crom, however, are still bad without much promise in the side. Josh Rachele looks a likely sort, whilst Ben Keays and Matt Crouch slogged their way through the midfield. They come up against Port this week, who are genuine dogshit right now. Who would have thought a Friday night Showdown would be between 15th and 18th, and Port would be the one anchored to the bottom of the ladder? The Power were absolutely demolished by a resurgent Hawthorn side, who, disgustingly, now sits first on the ladder. Led from the front by their little dickweasel, angry midget turd coach, Sam Mitchell. * that guy. Who do I want to win this week, between Carlton and Hawthorn?

Neither. I hope the game is drawn and both teams have points erased for being shitstains.
* Hawthorne.
* Carlton.

Norf managed to just get over the line against a West Coast side, away from home with 13 forced changes. Some players had only met for the first time.
And Norf JUST beat them.
Jesus. That doesn't give you much hope for 2022, does it? Or maybe it does. For some serious lols.

The Bulldogs being 0-2 feels nice, but those in glass houses and such.

This is going to be a rough, rough night.


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ROUND 15, 2021
MCG
26/6/2021

ESSENDON BOMBERS 8.9 57
def. by
MELBOURNE DEMONS (and horrendous umpiring) 9.14 68

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ESSENDON GOALS: Wright, Jones 2, Hooker, Heppell, Smith, Stringer
MELBOURNE GOALS: Petracca, Jordon 2, McDonald, Harmes, Spargo, Sparrow, Jackson

ESSENDON BEST: Merrett, Parish, Heppell, Ridley
MELBOURNE BEST: Lever, Salem, May, Oliver

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CHANGES SINCE LAST TIME:

ESSENDON OUTS: Merrett, Langford, Smith, Hooker, Waterman, Zerk-Thatcher, McDonald-Tipungwuti, Cox, Jones
ESSENDON INS: Wanganeen, Martin, Caldwell, McGrath, Cutler, Kelly, Durham, Shiel, Phillips

MELBOURNE OUTS: Salem, Hibberd, Lever, Petty
MELBOURNE INS: Tomlinson, Smith, Brown, Bowey



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The effort was there last week, but the polish wasn't. Unfortunately, I think the loss of Merrett is the big one here, and I would be very surprised if we were able to overcome that Melbourne engine room.

We'll go 0-3 for the first time since 1967.

Melbourne by 27.
 
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If you open the door of the fridge and the only thing you see is one team who has won all their games and another team who lost all their games, you have the necessary ingredients for a boilover.

Round three is usually when the first signs of a premiership hangover appear. It’s like the covid. First you think you haven’t got it, but then somehow you’ve got it, and then the grand final was last week and you weren’t in it. Life can change that quickly. Pickle juice doesn’t always work.

Melbourne supporters are already wondering why the rest of the teams are bothering to show up. They've all cancelled their trips to the snow. But watch out - Melbourne supporters are foregone conclusionists. Remember that time they agreed to change their name to the Melbourne Hawks? They saw the writing on the wall and dropped their bundle. There’s a real danger the foregone conclusion vibe could rub off on the players.

Whatever happens, one thing is certain: Petracca, Max, and Ollie are going to take the Demons a very long way. This week though, if Sam, Pete, Durham, Hind, Archie, Stringer, and every other Essendon player do their best, we could instigate a boilover. Keep stirring the pot Bomber fans!


Prediction: Essendon by one point.
 
If you open the door of the fridge and the only thing you see is one team who has won all their games and another team who lost all their games, you have the necessary ingredients for a boilover.

Round three is usually when the first signs of a premiership hangover appear. It’s like the covid. First you think you haven’t got it, but then somehow you’ve got it, and then the grand final was last week and you weren’t in it. Life can change that quickly. Pickle juice doesn’t always work.

Melbourne supporters are already wondering why the rest of the teams are bothering to show up. They've all cancelled their trips to the snow. But watch out - Melbourne supporters are foregone conclusionists. Remember that time they agreed to change their name to the Melbourne Hawks? They saw the writing on the wall and dropped their bundle. There’s a real danger the foregone conclusion vibe could rub off on the players.

Whatever happens, one thing is certain: Petracca, Max, and Ollie are going to take the Demons a very long way. This week though, if Sam, Pete, Durham, Hind, Archie, Stringer, and every other Essendon player do their best, we could instigate a boilover. Keep stirring the pot Bomber fans!


Prediction: Essendon by one point.
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I’m trying to feel as philosophical about this one as I possibly can. Like I did in 2011 before the Geelong game.
 
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