IllBeTheJudge
Premiership Player
- Joined
- Jun 21, 2008
- Posts
- 3,396
- Reaction score
- 1,587
- Location
- Insert witty location here
- AFL Club
- St Kilda
- Other Teams
- New Orleans Saints, Sth Dragons
Better late than never eh? Don't answer that ...
Essendon v Hawthorn
This was touted pre game as a done deal, the only questions to be answered by actually playing it would be how many Buddy and Roughie would kick and which 3 Dawks would get the votes. So one sided was this game that ABC radio’s special comments man, the venerable David Parkin, declared he would resign if the Dawks didn’t win….Parko didn’t stipulate what he would resign from but still the sentiment from the media and the bookies had the Bombers as no chance. So to the game and the Bombers were quick out of the blocks kicking 4 goals in the first quarter while the Dawks could only manage 1 and 8 behinds…oooh points are costly, gotta make the scoring shots count was probably what the little hobbit Clarko Baggins said at the break and it worked as they kicked 5 goals to lead by a point at the half. Now it was looking like the game would go to script and the Bombers would get toweled up in the second half and all the experts would go home happy…BUT no, led by Stanton, the Dons didn’t quit and kicked 11 goals to 4 in the second half to bury the premiers and grab the win…the “Easy” Ryder took another cracking screamer and the Bombers pace had the Dawks in trouble who are back in a bunch of teams with 3 wins and not looking good to defend their title….which they shouldn’t have got anyway…stupid Cats…anyway I digress.. The Bombers looked good but like a few teams are suffering from split personality, up one week and down the next…on track for a flogging from the Saints this weekend…Cyril Rioli goes okay and the ABC are looking for a special comments man…
Bombers by 44 big one’s
Geelong v Sydney
Geelong are so good they're boring, and the Swans are just boring. What a game to look forwarrrrr dfhwekl zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Huh? Oh. Let me wipe the side of my mouth and continue.
The Swans came to the Cattery with one thing on mind. If they could slow the game down to such a pace that a nil all scoreline in soccer looks like a goal-fest, they'd be in with a shot. Somehow the shackles were finally broken and the plan actually worked, to an extent. Sydney took the lead with only a minute or two left in the quarter. Hooray, it was 8 points to 5. Thank goodness for Stevie J. Whether he's getting drunk and up to no good in small country towns, or kicking goals out of his butt, he is pure entertainment. He had a blinder of a second quarter, though to be fair was it Hall's fault?
By halftime it was pretty well game over, and only die-hard supporters had any interest left in the game, and for most of them it's not like there's much else to do in Geelong.
This is the kind of game that you can find no post match coverage of in Sydney, as though the match never occurred. Nobody watched it, nobody wants to report on it, there was just some game that the Swans were in, and not sure how it turned out. I was fairly disinterested myself, and at one point tried changing the channel to see some of the Tigers / Lions game. Buhbowww, same game on two different channels. I'm blaming Hall for that. So in a strange twist, nobody in Sydney wants to watch this game, and yet there's no choice.
No Gablett, no Lablett. Didn't seem right really. Someone else was going to have to collect 87 possessions, Corey and Selwood leading the charge. Mooney had a set shot on goal, which was something different. Steve Johnson was die-no-mite in the first half, but didn't do much after that. Mike Pyke got his first kick in footy. Not Hall's fault. Has that filled out this report enough? Maybe if I start a new paragraph ...
That's better.
Cats by 51
Richmond v Brisbane
Saturday provided the perfect opportunity for Teffer's boys to continue their rich vein of form, and boy they didn't disappoint. Unless of course you happen to be a Tiger's fan but then, if that is the case you should be used to it. Saturday dawned and upon hearing that Nathan Brown would not be starting, I knew that my tip of the Tiges for a win was not going to bear fruit. Damn it. In fact, thinking about it, I am not sure what came over me. I mean the Tiges are still in the grips of the most horriffic draw ever to grace any team in the history of the AFL. the AFL are obviously on an anti Tezza campaign getting the Tiges to face up to a Lions side that is a shadow of its former self and graced with such quality as Justin Sherman, at the MCG. I mean if the AFL wanted to be nice to the Tiges, they would get them to play Melbourne. 22 times. or perhaps Carlton (don't start me on the tripe that they dished up at Carrara).
To the match. At least this time the return of Ben Cousins had slightly less build up than an evenings feast of baked beans and lentils. Seems as though swine flu is good for something. In the first quarter the Tiges got off to a flyer. Don't know how and really don't care. Unfortunately for the Tiges and fortunately for the Blions, old habbits die hard and as the Bowden's racked up and started to morph into Tivendales, the Blions started to get on top. This is thanks mostly to what amounts to probably the second most intimidating pair of forwards in the comp. Voss must be praying to the almighty footy injury God that he doesn't lose Brown or Bradshaw as the rest of the Blions list runs about as deep as a line of coke on Ben Cousins' coffee table. After he has had a snort. For the next three quarters, Vossy's vermin got on top and slightly ran away with the game. Highest Bowden winner on the ground was Bowden with 35 total Bowdens. All of these were ineffective and 27 of them were Tivendales. Teffer's time is up and looking at an early retirement. Lucky man. i hear the Caymen Islands are nice. Brown and Bradshaw good for the Lions, Sherman made one good play and celebrated as though he had won the Grand Final. Tool. Should be playing for the anchor yankers with that sort of performance. Rance was good for the Tiges until he tried to use his head to peoleaxe one of the lesser talented Selwoods. Narwhal, Narhas, Nahdon't care or whatever his name is was busy also. Not much light for the Tiges going forward which is probably a good thing as I hear that any team showing any real light will be pinged under the Krudd Govt's CPRS.
Blions by 26
North Melbourne v Port Adelaide
I saw the last quarter of this match, which is more than can be said for most of you. I can therefore re-live and report on it with an authority that would make you believe I'm not lying about seeing the last quarter of this match. A terrible crowd missed out on a cracking finish to the game. They also missed out on what is possibly one of three good games that Daniel Wells will play. I think we all hope that there'll be more, but we're also tired of being disappointed.
Coming off a grand win the previous week, and with the Kangas missing plenty of cattle, most of us would have thought that the Power could steamroll over the top of this mob. How close we were to being correct. It would seem that North Melbourne were in control for most of the night, and held a very swanky 5 goal lead with not much more (or less) than 10 minutes to play. This was about the time Port Adelaide awoke from their slumber and put some enormous pressure on the Roos defense, and if not for a mis-directed kick off the ground from Moptop to level the scores, this game could have been a defeat snatched from the jaws of victory for the boys from Arden Street.
North Melbourne were in part saved by their accuracy, booting an impressive 20 goals and only 5 behinds, and their fans must have thought it was going to be their night when even David Hale had some sort of impact. Whey do they keep playing this guy up forward? He doesn't seem that effective there. Ah well, I guess it will be up to next season's coach to sort that out.
Choco would have been filthy with this game. People have been saying it about the Pies, but I reckon it might be Port who win what they shouldn't win, and lose what they shouldn't lose. Williams knows that it's games like these that can mean the difference between making the 8 or not.
Kangas by 5
Carlton v Fremantle
What the?..all types of weirdness surrounded this game from the fixturing which had a team from as far away as possible from the Gold Coast sent to play the team which sold its home game for a bit ‘o’ coin which it doesn’t need, to the result. This had me checking every source of news on Sunday morning to see if what I thought I saw happen on Saturday night actually did happen...and after watching a replay of the final quarter twice I finally had to accept it, the Purple Pride of Freo, the Stink, had done something right at last, they’d been in front in a last quarter and w..wo…won…hard to say… From the start the Shockers were on song with Haselby in the engine room showing again how to rove to the Fifth Lightower (Sandilands) and get use of the ball first and that it is a good thing when you do this. The Hill kiddie was good again and Taz down back….Oh Taz is back as he kept Fevalenko to a 1 goal, 3 hissy fits and a tantrum and other Stink players like Mundy, Thornton and Gilmore who would normally drop their bundle in a last quarter kept cool….even late in the final term when a very dubious free kick and 50 metre penalty had Carlton kicking for goal to get them within a goal, the kick was touched of the boot and the Stink held their nerve..I did check, it was a full moon Saturday night, it’s the only explanation I can find that is remotely plausible for such a result or the only one I’m willing to accept at the moment….The Stink winning, on the road, after leading at full time…nah….no one played well for Carlton.
Shockers by 7 purple thingys
Adelaide v Bulldogs
At this stage, being at about 2 for 6 for the tipping round, I was really hoping the Dogs could get up. They did. Adelaide, Adelaide, Adelaide. What's happened to you? You used to be competitive? You used to be almost unbeatable at home? You used to have a midfield? Your one shining light in this match was Walker Tyler, or Tyler Walker, or Taylor Wykler or whatever his name is. He's good. Kurt Tippet might be improving, and for his sake I hope he does. It's not like he can go back to basketball.
Maybe the Crows chose the wrong game plan to follow, or perhaps they just can't pull it off. I guess Neil Craig thought that he had the cattle better suited to the Zone / Cluster or what-have-you. Looks to me like some rebuilding is going on, and not a moment too soon.
The Bulldogs snapped their 3 game losing streak with the CoonDog showing good signs, Johnson smiling about the place, Williams didn't break his own kneecaps and Griffen had little influence. Back to usual for the Dogs really. Except for that Williams bit.
Thompson is easily the best player on the Crows list at the moment, and really needs some help. Seems like he's the pinch hitter type of player at the moment as well, sometimes mid, sometimes forward, sometimes something else I'm sure.
If anyone has anything else they can add to this match report, please feel free to keep it to yourself.
Bullies by 32
West Coast v Melbourne
This game looked like it was also headed for a twilight zone result with the Weagles kicking themselves in the foot, elbow, point posts and just plain anywhere except through the sticks and the Dee’s refusing to give up. There was nothing particularly exciting about this encounter, even the melee was some what tame and not even Brian Taylors commentary could make it anything more than mildly entertaining, doesn’t help when you are working with Glen Jakovich, not the funniest man on the planet…anyway this game was crap and I was still weirded out by the last two nights results to give a ….anyway Kerr is out for a while so drop him from your fantasy team and it was good to see Robbo back for the Dee’s….
Coasters by 8 yawns
Collingwood v St Kilda
The first real test for St Kilda became a bit of a letdown really, with the Magpies depleted by some of their best players and most proficient goal kickers. Most interest came down to whether The Cougar would line up on Rocca or not, and whether there was anybody that could stop Riewoldt and Kositchke from having blinders. In the first 30 seconds or so, Milne had his first goal on the board thanks to a spillage in the goal square. He promptly started doing his Marcel Marceau impersonation of "the glass wall" right in front of the Collingwood fans. They seemed to appreciate that.
The Maggies really took it up to St Kilda for all of about the first half of this quarter, and even had a slim lead for a while. Without Neon Leon blazing his way though, it was up to the other annoying small forward get things going, as the Saints took control of the match and Milne kicked his second early in the second, and promptly started doing the can-can in front of the Collingwood supporters. They seemed to appreciate that.
Mick Malthouse may have broken something in the coaches box about now, or stuck a few of those magnets off the magnet board up the nearest assistant coach's nostril, but it was to no avail. As is often his way, he doesn't tag the best ball users from the opposition and so Dal Santo and Montagna ended up having to tag each other, simply to try to out do each other to see who would get the 3 votes. They were pretty loose though, each getting 38 touches.
Riewoldt nearly got killed by the Kosi-Train at one stage, but managed to put his goal kicking yips from last week behind him, and booted 5. Benjamin Button had little influence or support in the ruck, and Gardiner looks again like he might be able to play this game, and doesn't look so much like a drunken giraffe with one leg tied behind his back. That would be McEvoy.
Totally dominant the Saints were, and whilst I could go on, I should leave this game as the massacre it was, and put dear Collingwood supporters out of their misery. Schneider had probably his best game for the Saints, while Milne kicked a couple more and promptly did his "gettin' jiggy" dance right in front of the Collingwood supporters. They seemed to appreciate that.
Saints by 88 (a record margin by the way, just in case nobody knew)
Essendon v Hawthorn
This was touted pre game as a done deal, the only questions to be answered by actually playing it would be how many Buddy and Roughie would kick and which 3 Dawks would get the votes. So one sided was this game that ABC radio’s special comments man, the venerable David Parkin, declared he would resign if the Dawks didn’t win….Parko didn’t stipulate what he would resign from but still the sentiment from the media and the bookies had the Bombers as no chance. So to the game and the Bombers were quick out of the blocks kicking 4 goals in the first quarter while the Dawks could only manage 1 and 8 behinds…oooh points are costly, gotta make the scoring shots count was probably what the little hobbit Clarko Baggins said at the break and it worked as they kicked 5 goals to lead by a point at the half. Now it was looking like the game would go to script and the Bombers would get toweled up in the second half and all the experts would go home happy…BUT no, led by Stanton, the Dons didn’t quit and kicked 11 goals to 4 in the second half to bury the premiers and grab the win…the “Easy” Ryder took another cracking screamer and the Bombers pace had the Dawks in trouble who are back in a bunch of teams with 3 wins and not looking good to defend their title….which they shouldn’t have got anyway…stupid Cats…anyway I digress.. The Bombers looked good but like a few teams are suffering from split personality, up one week and down the next…on track for a flogging from the Saints this weekend…Cyril Rioli goes okay and the ABC are looking for a special comments man…
Bombers by 44 big one’s
Geelong v Sydney
Geelong are so good they're boring, and the Swans are just boring. What a game to look forwarrrrr dfhwekl zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Huh? Oh. Let me wipe the side of my mouth and continue.
The Swans came to the Cattery with one thing on mind. If they could slow the game down to such a pace that a nil all scoreline in soccer looks like a goal-fest, they'd be in with a shot. Somehow the shackles were finally broken and the plan actually worked, to an extent. Sydney took the lead with only a minute or two left in the quarter. Hooray, it was 8 points to 5. Thank goodness for Stevie J. Whether he's getting drunk and up to no good in small country towns, or kicking goals out of his butt, he is pure entertainment. He had a blinder of a second quarter, though to be fair was it Hall's fault?
By halftime it was pretty well game over, and only die-hard supporters had any interest left in the game, and for most of them it's not like there's much else to do in Geelong.
This is the kind of game that you can find no post match coverage of in Sydney, as though the match never occurred. Nobody watched it, nobody wants to report on it, there was just some game that the Swans were in, and not sure how it turned out. I was fairly disinterested myself, and at one point tried changing the channel to see some of the Tigers / Lions game. Buhbowww, same game on two different channels. I'm blaming Hall for that. So in a strange twist, nobody in Sydney wants to watch this game, and yet there's no choice.
No Gablett, no Lablett. Didn't seem right really. Someone else was going to have to collect 87 possessions, Corey and Selwood leading the charge. Mooney had a set shot on goal, which was something different. Steve Johnson was die-no-mite in the first half, but didn't do much after that. Mike Pyke got his first kick in footy. Not Hall's fault. Has that filled out this report enough? Maybe if I start a new paragraph ...
That's better.
Cats by 51
Richmond v Brisbane
Saturday provided the perfect opportunity for Teffer's boys to continue their rich vein of form, and boy they didn't disappoint. Unless of course you happen to be a Tiger's fan but then, if that is the case you should be used to it. Saturday dawned and upon hearing that Nathan Brown would not be starting, I knew that my tip of the Tiges for a win was not going to bear fruit. Damn it. In fact, thinking about it, I am not sure what came over me. I mean the Tiges are still in the grips of the most horriffic draw ever to grace any team in the history of the AFL. the AFL are obviously on an anti Tezza campaign getting the Tiges to face up to a Lions side that is a shadow of its former self and graced with such quality as Justin Sherman, at the MCG. I mean if the AFL wanted to be nice to the Tiges, they would get them to play Melbourne. 22 times. or perhaps Carlton (don't start me on the tripe that they dished up at Carrara).
To the match. At least this time the return of Ben Cousins had slightly less build up than an evenings feast of baked beans and lentils. Seems as though swine flu is good for something. In the first quarter the Tiges got off to a flyer. Don't know how and really don't care. Unfortunately for the Tiges and fortunately for the Blions, old habbits die hard and as the Bowden's racked up and started to morph into Tivendales, the Blions started to get on top. This is thanks mostly to what amounts to probably the second most intimidating pair of forwards in the comp. Voss must be praying to the almighty footy injury God that he doesn't lose Brown or Bradshaw as the rest of the Blions list runs about as deep as a line of coke on Ben Cousins' coffee table. After he has had a snort. For the next three quarters, Vossy's vermin got on top and slightly ran away with the game. Highest Bowden winner on the ground was Bowden with 35 total Bowdens. All of these were ineffective and 27 of them were Tivendales. Teffer's time is up and looking at an early retirement. Lucky man. i hear the Caymen Islands are nice. Brown and Bradshaw good for the Lions, Sherman made one good play and celebrated as though he had won the Grand Final. Tool. Should be playing for the anchor yankers with that sort of performance. Rance was good for the Tiges until he tried to use his head to peoleaxe one of the lesser talented Selwoods. Narwhal, Narhas, Nahdon't care or whatever his name is was busy also. Not much light for the Tiges going forward which is probably a good thing as I hear that any team showing any real light will be pinged under the Krudd Govt's CPRS.
Blions by 26
North Melbourne v Port Adelaide
I saw the last quarter of this match, which is more than can be said for most of you. I can therefore re-live and report on it with an authority that would make you believe I'm not lying about seeing the last quarter of this match. A terrible crowd missed out on a cracking finish to the game. They also missed out on what is possibly one of three good games that Daniel Wells will play. I think we all hope that there'll be more, but we're also tired of being disappointed.
Coming off a grand win the previous week, and with the Kangas missing plenty of cattle, most of us would have thought that the Power could steamroll over the top of this mob. How close we were to being correct. It would seem that North Melbourne were in control for most of the night, and held a very swanky 5 goal lead with not much more (or less) than 10 minutes to play. This was about the time Port Adelaide awoke from their slumber and put some enormous pressure on the Roos defense, and if not for a mis-directed kick off the ground from Moptop to level the scores, this game could have been a defeat snatched from the jaws of victory for the boys from Arden Street.
North Melbourne were in part saved by their accuracy, booting an impressive 20 goals and only 5 behinds, and their fans must have thought it was going to be their night when even David Hale had some sort of impact. Whey do they keep playing this guy up forward? He doesn't seem that effective there. Ah well, I guess it will be up to next season's coach to sort that out.
Choco would have been filthy with this game. People have been saying it about the Pies, but I reckon it might be Port who win what they shouldn't win, and lose what they shouldn't lose. Williams knows that it's games like these that can mean the difference between making the 8 or not.
Kangas by 5
Carlton v Fremantle
What the?..all types of weirdness surrounded this game from the fixturing which had a team from as far away as possible from the Gold Coast sent to play the team which sold its home game for a bit ‘o’ coin which it doesn’t need, to the result. This had me checking every source of news on Sunday morning to see if what I thought I saw happen on Saturday night actually did happen...and after watching a replay of the final quarter twice I finally had to accept it, the Purple Pride of Freo, the Stink, had done something right at last, they’d been in front in a last quarter and w..wo…won…hard to say… From the start the Shockers were on song with Haselby in the engine room showing again how to rove to the Fifth Lightower (Sandilands) and get use of the ball first and that it is a good thing when you do this. The Hill kiddie was good again and Taz down back….Oh Taz is back as he kept Fevalenko to a 1 goal, 3 hissy fits and a tantrum and other Stink players like Mundy, Thornton and Gilmore who would normally drop their bundle in a last quarter kept cool….even late in the final term when a very dubious free kick and 50 metre penalty had Carlton kicking for goal to get them within a goal, the kick was touched of the boot and the Stink held their nerve..I did check, it was a full moon Saturday night, it’s the only explanation I can find that is remotely plausible for such a result or the only one I’m willing to accept at the moment….The Stink winning, on the road, after leading at full time…nah….no one played well for Carlton.
Shockers by 7 purple thingys
Adelaide v Bulldogs
At this stage, being at about 2 for 6 for the tipping round, I was really hoping the Dogs could get up. They did. Adelaide, Adelaide, Adelaide. What's happened to you? You used to be competitive? You used to be almost unbeatable at home? You used to have a midfield? Your one shining light in this match was Walker Tyler, or Tyler Walker, or Taylor Wykler or whatever his name is. He's good. Kurt Tippet might be improving, and for his sake I hope he does. It's not like he can go back to basketball.
Maybe the Crows chose the wrong game plan to follow, or perhaps they just can't pull it off. I guess Neil Craig thought that he had the cattle better suited to the Zone / Cluster or what-have-you. Looks to me like some rebuilding is going on, and not a moment too soon.
The Bulldogs snapped their 3 game losing streak with the CoonDog showing good signs, Johnson smiling about the place, Williams didn't break his own kneecaps and Griffen had little influence. Back to usual for the Dogs really. Except for that Williams bit.
Thompson is easily the best player on the Crows list at the moment, and really needs some help. Seems like he's the pinch hitter type of player at the moment as well, sometimes mid, sometimes forward, sometimes something else I'm sure.
If anyone has anything else they can add to this match report, please feel free to keep it to yourself.
Bullies by 32
West Coast v Melbourne
This game looked like it was also headed for a twilight zone result with the Weagles kicking themselves in the foot, elbow, point posts and just plain anywhere except through the sticks and the Dee’s refusing to give up. There was nothing particularly exciting about this encounter, even the melee was some what tame and not even Brian Taylors commentary could make it anything more than mildly entertaining, doesn’t help when you are working with Glen Jakovich, not the funniest man on the planet…anyway this game was crap and I was still weirded out by the last two nights results to give a ….anyway Kerr is out for a while so drop him from your fantasy team and it was good to see Robbo back for the Dee’s….
Coasters by 8 yawns
Collingwood v St Kilda
The first real test for St Kilda became a bit of a letdown really, with the Magpies depleted by some of their best players and most proficient goal kickers. Most interest came down to whether The Cougar would line up on Rocca or not, and whether there was anybody that could stop Riewoldt and Kositchke from having blinders. In the first 30 seconds or so, Milne had his first goal on the board thanks to a spillage in the goal square. He promptly started doing his Marcel Marceau impersonation of "the glass wall" right in front of the Collingwood fans. They seemed to appreciate that.
The Maggies really took it up to St Kilda for all of about the first half of this quarter, and even had a slim lead for a while. Without Neon Leon blazing his way though, it was up to the other annoying small forward get things going, as the Saints took control of the match and Milne kicked his second early in the second, and promptly started doing the can-can in front of the Collingwood supporters. They seemed to appreciate that.
Mick Malthouse may have broken something in the coaches box about now, or stuck a few of those magnets off the magnet board up the nearest assistant coach's nostril, but it was to no avail. As is often his way, he doesn't tag the best ball users from the opposition and so Dal Santo and Montagna ended up having to tag each other, simply to try to out do each other to see who would get the 3 votes. They were pretty loose though, each getting 38 touches.
Riewoldt nearly got killed by the Kosi-Train at one stage, but managed to put his goal kicking yips from last week behind him, and booted 5. Benjamin Button had little influence or support in the ruck, and Gardiner looks again like he might be able to play this game, and doesn't look so much like a drunken giraffe with one leg tied behind his back. That would be McEvoy.
Totally dominant the Saints were, and whilst I could go on, I should leave this game as the massacre it was, and put dear Collingwood supporters out of their misery. Schneider had probably his best game for the Saints, while Milne kicked a couple more and promptly did his "gettin' jiggy" dance right in front of the Collingwood supporters. They seemed to appreciate that.
Saints by 88 (a record margin by the way, just in case nobody knew)
