Benwah83
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- Joined
- Oct 15, 2011
- Posts
- 5,809
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- AFL Club
- Melbourne
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- Tottenham
Why are they here…..
Benwah’s Journal
Week 1, Day 1
I was approached this morning by Peter Jackson. As I am an expert linguist he was hoping for my assistance in dealing with a rather extraordinary situation that was developing at the Melbourne Football Club.
The arrival of an alien species.
Apparently some strange, pod-like ship had arrived and suspended itself over the club. They were picking up strange sounding transmissions from the pod, and wanted to understand what the hell they were, and were they a threat.
My initial reluctance to get involved gave way to my overwhelming curiosity, and I told Peter that I would help.
Week 1, Day 2
I have seen the pod. It’s shaped like a giant red football.
The club are gearing me up to enter the pod and meet the aliens. I did not think my week would be like this…
Week 1, Day 3
I’ve entered the pod today, with the assistance of a support crew provided by the club, and met the aliens.
There’s two of them – strange, gangly like creatures with long limbs and long beards.
Not knowing where to start, I pointed to myself and said ‘Benwah’. I then pointed at them. They both drew a strange, circle like symbol.
I suppose that was their names.
I think I’m going to call them Max 1 and Max 2.
Week 2, Day 1
My communication with the Gawnopods is progressing at a rapid pace. We’ve worked through a number of important words and phrases – ‘football’, ‘Jack Watts’, ‘insufficient intent’, etc. I think we’re starting to understand the purpose of the circular symbols they use as their language.
I’m still no closer to what they actually want with the Melbourne Football Club Though.
Peter Jackson is getting restless.
Week 3, Day 1.
Peter came to me today and asked me to ask the key question – why are they here? I don’t think our study is sufficiently developed to be able to ask them this question yet, but we have to try.
I entered the pod as usual and I put the question to Max 1 and Max 2.
The response – “Norf” and either “Rule” or “Tool” – we could not decipher it.
Week 3, Day 2
People at the club are interpreting “Rule” as meaning “Rule change”. Everyone is terrified at another potential rule change and some want to blow up the football pod with the aliens inside.
I think the Gawnopods meant ”Tool”.
This whole exercise is now starting to mess with my mind. I keep getting flash backs (or is that flash forwards?) to Melbourne Vs. Norf games. Pivotal moments from games cycle through my head. It’s fuzzy, but it feels like I’m there.
I see Brad Scott’s pouty face.
I don’t understand what this means.
Week 3, Day 6
A rouge group at the club try to blow up the pod. All they succeed in doing is blowing Max 2’s beard off his face.
He now looks sadder and younger.
The flash backs / flash forwards are getting worse. I am now having trouble distinguishing what is fantasy and what is reality.
I woke up in a cold sweat screaming Drew Petrie’s name.
What is wrong with me? He doesn’t even play for Norf anymore.
Week 4, Day 3
I visit the pod alone.
Max 1 drags me in under his beard. Suddenly my mind expands and I see everything in perfect clarity.
The Gawnopods unique circular language transcends time.
Max 1 tells me that the Gawnopods are huge Melbourne Football Club fans, and he’s trying to make people see that the history and future of our club is a whole story, not made up of individual streaks or awfulness.
Norf’s winning streak against us, Max 1 says, is meaningless and inconsequential.
I ask him if this means that I can somehow use their language to influence the past and stop the streak happening.
He responds that this isn’t some messed up Hollywood movie starting Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner, so no.
He urges me to go back and tell the club that they can forge their own destiny, independent of any meaningless streaks.
I ask him where Max 2 is.
He says that Max 2 doesn’t want to show his face until his beard regrows.
Week 4, Day 4
I conveyed the Gawnopods message to Simon Goodwin and the boys. I explained how this all related to the strange dreams I've been having - I was dreaming in their language! I also pointed out that it probably explained my cold sweats, and the tendency that I had developed in the last week to randomly shriek.
I also told them that the Gawnopods had grand plans for Jack Watts in approximately 20 years time.
In related news - the club have put me in a straitjacket and placed me in a padded cell. I am writing this with a pen between my lips.
I suspect I'm going to be contained here for a long time.
I just hope the club paid attention.
Prediction: Melbourne by a point.
Author’s Note: Any similarities to recent stories or movies is purely coincidental.
Get well soon, Jesse
Benwah’s Journal
Week 1, Day 1
I was approached this morning by Peter Jackson. As I am an expert linguist he was hoping for my assistance in dealing with a rather extraordinary situation that was developing at the Melbourne Football Club.
The arrival of an alien species.
Apparently some strange, pod-like ship had arrived and suspended itself over the club. They were picking up strange sounding transmissions from the pod, and wanted to understand what the hell they were, and were they a threat.
My initial reluctance to get involved gave way to my overwhelming curiosity, and I told Peter that I would help.
Week 1, Day 2
I have seen the pod. It’s shaped like a giant red football.
The club are gearing me up to enter the pod and meet the aliens. I did not think my week would be like this…
Week 1, Day 3
I’ve entered the pod today, with the assistance of a support crew provided by the club, and met the aliens.
There’s two of them – strange, gangly like creatures with long limbs and long beards.
Not knowing where to start, I pointed to myself and said ‘Benwah’. I then pointed at them. They both drew a strange, circle like symbol.
I suppose that was their names.
I think I’m going to call them Max 1 and Max 2.
Week 2, Day 1
My communication with the Gawnopods is progressing at a rapid pace. We’ve worked through a number of important words and phrases – ‘football’, ‘Jack Watts’, ‘insufficient intent’, etc. I think we’re starting to understand the purpose of the circular symbols they use as their language.
I’m still no closer to what they actually want with the Melbourne Football Club Though.
Peter Jackson is getting restless.
Week 3, Day 1.
Peter came to me today and asked me to ask the key question – why are they here? I don’t think our study is sufficiently developed to be able to ask them this question yet, but we have to try.
I entered the pod as usual and I put the question to Max 1 and Max 2.
The response – “Norf” and either “Rule” or “Tool” – we could not decipher it.
Week 3, Day 2
People at the club are interpreting “Rule” as meaning “Rule change”. Everyone is terrified at another potential rule change and some want to blow up the football pod with the aliens inside.
I think the Gawnopods meant ”Tool”.
This whole exercise is now starting to mess with my mind. I keep getting flash backs (or is that flash forwards?) to Melbourne Vs. Norf games. Pivotal moments from games cycle through my head. It’s fuzzy, but it feels like I’m there.
I see Brad Scott’s pouty face.
I don’t understand what this means.
Week 3, Day 6
A rouge group at the club try to blow up the pod. All they succeed in doing is blowing Max 2’s beard off his face.
He now looks sadder and younger.
The flash backs / flash forwards are getting worse. I am now having trouble distinguishing what is fantasy and what is reality.
I woke up in a cold sweat screaming Drew Petrie’s name.
What is wrong with me? He doesn’t even play for Norf anymore.
Week 4, Day 3
I visit the pod alone.
Max 1 drags me in under his beard. Suddenly my mind expands and I see everything in perfect clarity.
The Gawnopods unique circular language transcends time.
Max 1 tells me that the Gawnopods are huge Melbourne Football Club fans, and he’s trying to make people see that the history and future of our club is a whole story, not made up of individual streaks or awfulness.
Norf’s winning streak against us, Max 1 says, is meaningless and inconsequential.
I ask him if this means that I can somehow use their language to influence the past and stop the streak happening.
He responds that this isn’t some messed up Hollywood movie starting Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner, so no.
He urges me to go back and tell the club that they can forge their own destiny, independent of any meaningless streaks.
I ask him where Max 2 is.
He says that Max 2 doesn’t want to show his face until his beard regrows.
Week 4, Day 4
I conveyed the Gawnopods message to Simon Goodwin and the boys. I explained how this all related to the strange dreams I've been having - I was dreaming in their language! I also pointed out that it probably explained my cold sweats, and the tendency that I had developed in the last week to randomly shriek.
I also told them that the Gawnopods had grand plans for Jack Watts in approximately 20 years time.
In related news - the club have put me in a straitjacket and placed me in a padded cell. I am writing this with a pen between my lips.
I suspect I'm going to be contained here for a long time.
I just hope the club paid attention.
Prediction: Melbourne by a point.
Author’s Note: Any similarities to recent stories or movies is purely coincidental.
Get well soon, Jesse
