thegoldenbear
Team Captain
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I received this at work so I thought I would share it amongst more understanding people (fellow suffering saints supporters) enjoy.....only 29 years to go.
September 30, 2037. Demetriou Dome, New Delhi, India.
The Saints finally won that elusive second premiership with a hard
fought and thrilling 2 point win over the West Sydney Mortgage
Defaulters, in front of 250,000 fans at the Demetriou Dome (Named in
honour of the greatest and most influential person ever involved with
the AFL) in New Delhi. The Saints overcame tough opposition, a hostile
crowd and oppressive temperatures to become the first club to win a
premiership after finishing the home and away rounds in 24th position.
The Saints cleverly exploited the "Mark Williams Finals System" to
clinch a berth in the play-off after just 18 preceding finals. The 24
teams in the 48 team competition that missed the finals are considering
a protest.
Star of the triumph and winner of the Demetriou Statue (which replaced
the Norm Smith Medal in 2010), awarded for best afield, was none other
than ageless St.Kilda champion, 65 year old midfielder, Robert Harvey.
At his usual relentless running best, Harvey, in his 1035th game for the
Saints, accumulated 35 possessions and capped his performance by scoring
3 Demetrious (Replaced the goal in 2010 and named in honour of the
Greatest and most influential person ever involved with the AFL) in the
second half, including the winner, just seconds before the final siren.
Victorious St.Kilda coach, Connor Harvey, was full of praise for his
father's efforts. Connor, himself a fine player, although retired since
2032, described the old man as, "a marvel, role model and mentor of the
highest order". He could work on his defensive accountability a bit
more, and he could kick a few more goals, but at his age I have to cut
him some slack. What the hell, we finally got the chocolates. No one
deserves this more than dad. Now his CV is complete at last. Two
Brownlow and 2 Demetriou Medals (Replaced the Brownlow Medal in 2010 as
the award for the Fairest and Best player in the AFL) 26 club best and
fairest awards, the last two won in his fifties, AFL MVP 23 times,
Legend 4 times, Hall of Fame member numerous and AFL lifetime
achievement Award - The Anderson - named after the patron saint of
interstate clubs, Adrian Anderson.
The typically humble Harvey was full of praise for his team mates,
refusing to accept individual accolades. "The best part of today, and we
had a bit of luck with the new grandfather/grandson rule brought in this
year, was that I got to play in a premiership with my two grandsons,
Grant and Thomas. They were superb, weren't they?" enthused the champ.
Devoted wife Danielle stood beside her man, beaming with pride. "I
couldn't be more proud of him. He's been a bit of a handful at the Rod
Butterss maximum security home for the aged this year, but it's all
turned out all right in the end. They just can't control him. They've
tried rotating tags of nurses, but he just grinds them into the dirt. He
can't be stopped. At least now he can retire, as he's been promising to
do for the last 35 years!
St.Kilda President, Michael Rix, was on hand to accept the long awaited
Premiership Cup, but somehow failed to take full possession of it,
eventually fumbling and dropping it on the floor. "Another touchless
outing, I'm afraid, " lamented the President.
Vice President of Australia, Corey Worthington, standing in for the
President of the Australian Republic, Deborah Mailman, was on hand to
present the Demetriou Statue to the humble Saints hero. Worthington then
mumbled something about the premiership celebrations were on back at his
place and that he'd text all his mates to bring their friends and grog.
Meanwhile, Harvey thanked his sponsors, R & X Clarke Prosthetics, for
extending his career. The company was founded by former St.Kilda
players, Raphael and Xavier Clarke, who based their research and product
development on their own continually shattering bodies. They became the
largest makers of prosthetic devices in the world, with Harvey the face
of the company.
Harvey's original heart is on display at the National Museum, in the
Australian Capital, Noosa, next to that of Phar Lap. His artificial
heart, the RX 5000, has delivered reliable and consistent performance
after a rocky start. "Couldn't have done it without the new technology,"
admitted Harvey.
"The big ones this year though, were the titanium hips and knees.
They'll last another 20 seasons."
At this point, Danielle Harvey collapsed, sobbing uncontrollably. When
she challenged the great man about his promise to retire if the Saints
finally landed a flag, her husband shot back, "We've got to try for
back-to back flags, don't we?
September 30, 2037. Demetriou Dome, New Delhi, India.
The Saints finally won that elusive second premiership with a hard
fought and thrilling 2 point win over the West Sydney Mortgage
Defaulters, in front of 250,000 fans at the Demetriou Dome (Named in
honour of the greatest and most influential person ever involved with
the AFL) in New Delhi. The Saints overcame tough opposition, a hostile
crowd and oppressive temperatures to become the first club to win a
premiership after finishing the home and away rounds in 24th position.
The Saints cleverly exploited the "Mark Williams Finals System" to
clinch a berth in the play-off after just 18 preceding finals. The 24
teams in the 48 team competition that missed the finals are considering
a protest.
Star of the triumph and winner of the Demetriou Statue (which replaced
the Norm Smith Medal in 2010), awarded for best afield, was none other
than ageless St.Kilda champion, 65 year old midfielder, Robert Harvey.
At his usual relentless running best, Harvey, in his 1035th game for the
Saints, accumulated 35 possessions and capped his performance by scoring
3 Demetrious (Replaced the goal in 2010 and named in honour of the
Greatest and most influential person ever involved with the AFL) in the
second half, including the winner, just seconds before the final siren.
Victorious St.Kilda coach, Connor Harvey, was full of praise for his
father's efforts. Connor, himself a fine player, although retired since
2032, described the old man as, "a marvel, role model and mentor of the
highest order". He could work on his defensive accountability a bit
more, and he could kick a few more goals, but at his age I have to cut
him some slack. What the hell, we finally got the chocolates. No one
deserves this more than dad. Now his CV is complete at last. Two
Brownlow and 2 Demetriou Medals (Replaced the Brownlow Medal in 2010 as
the award for the Fairest and Best player in the AFL) 26 club best and
fairest awards, the last two won in his fifties, AFL MVP 23 times,
Legend 4 times, Hall of Fame member numerous and AFL lifetime
achievement Award - The Anderson - named after the patron saint of
interstate clubs, Adrian Anderson.
The typically humble Harvey was full of praise for his team mates,
refusing to accept individual accolades. "The best part of today, and we
had a bit of luck with the new grandfather/grandson rule brought in this
year, was that I got to play in a premiership with my two grandsons,
Grant and Thomas. They were superb, weren't they?" enthused the champ.
Devoted wife Danielle stood beside her man, beaming with pride. "I
couldn't be more proud of him. He's been a bit of a handful at the Rod
Butterss maximum security home for the aged this year, but it's all
turned out all right in the end. They just can't control him. They've
tried rotating tags of nurses, but he just grinds them into the dirt. He
can't be stopped. At least now he can retire, as he's been promising to
do for the last 35 years!
St.Kilda President, Michael Rix, was on hand to accept the long awaited
Premiership Cup, but somehow failed to take full possession of it,
eventually fumbling and dropping it on the floor. "Another touchless
outing, I'm afraid, " lamented the President.
Vice President of Australia, Corey Worthington, standing in for the
President of the Australian Republic, Deborah Mailman, was on hand to
present the Demetriou Statue to the humble Saints hero. Worthington then
mumbled something about the premiership celebrations were on back at his
place and that he'd text all his mates to bring their friends and grog.
Meanwhile, Harvey thanked his sponsors, R & X Clarke Prosthetics, for
extending his career. The company was founded by former St.Kilda
players, Raphael and Xavier Clarke, who based their research and product
development on their own continually shattering bodies. They became the
largest makers of prosthetic devices in the world, with Harvey the face
of the company.
Harvey's original heart is on display at the National Museum, in the
Australian Capital, Noosa, next to that of Phar Lap. His artificial
heart, the RX 5000, has delivered reliable and consistent performance
after a rocky start. "Couldn't have done it without the new technology,"
admitted Harvey.
"The big ones this year though, were the titanium hips and knees.
They'll last another 20 seasons."
At this point, Danielle Harvey collapsed, sobbing uncontrollably. When
she challenged the great man about his promise to retire if the Saints
finally landed a flag, her husband shot back, "We've got to try for
back-to back flags, don't we?
