Home & Garden Spiders can get ****ed

[phantom13]

Northern Australia? Sydney - funnel webs. Adelaide - red backs. I've killed a couple of dozen around the yard and a handful that snuck into the house, in my 5 years at my place. Not to mention white tails everywhere. Won't kill, but certainly would leave sick.

I've been bitten by a redback in rural Vic when i was in my teens, no anti venom and it didn't kill me (i was horribly sick for a few hours) i don't think anyway has died from a redback bite in over 50 years (could be wrong about that though)

 

[Marklar_33]

A huntsman has taken up residence in the vents of my work vehicle...ram across my dash Tuesday, straight into the vent before I could grab the ****er and fling him out the window. Not sighted since

 

[Freak Dodgeball Accident]

I wasn't far off bumping this thread last night actually.

Was laying on the couch watching the tennis at about 11pm. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted something crawling across the ceiling. Turned on the light and it was a filthy little white tail. Grabbed a thong and took a swipe at it, half hit it and lands on the coffee table. Hit it again and made a fair mess of the table.

Cleaned that up, then when I returned to the room I was about to turn the light off and I somehow spotted another one on the ground! This one was absolutely massive, the biggest I've seen! About the same time I spotted it, our new cat did too.

She quickly ran over so I grabbed the closest thing I could get to squash it, which was the cats scratching post. In the mean time, the spider headed for under the TV cabinet. I quickly hit it with the base of the post, but the bloody thing has tiny feet on it so it doesn't sit flat on the ground! So my first effort missed the whole thing completely. My second shot I only just managed to get it with the edge of the base before it got under the unit. Didn't kill it though, was still running while half squished. All this was happening while I was trying to make sure the cat didn't catch it either. Quickly got it another 2 times before it died. Pretty frantic stuff though.

I don't mind most spiders, they generally keep to themselves, but white tails can go and get f..... They roam around in get in your clothes and stuff. Only ones that freak me out. Would love to use an insect bomb, but bad timing as we got a cat 2 weeks ago.

 

[edgie]

Unless you're in the far north of Australia you don't snakes generally in suburban settings. And snakes in this country that are dangerous are too big to climb roofs, hide in book covers or corners even if they do manage to get in somewhere...

Found an Eastern Brown the other night, in the Southern part of the country, just slithering down a lane.

 

[HBF]

Found an Eastern Brown the other night, in the Southern part of the country, just slithering down a lane.

Hope you gave it a very very wide berth.

 

[placebo]

So my lady-friend and I were laying in bed the other day, watching some TV, and it got to be quite late. Anyway, the disc of whatever we were watching ended and we were going back and forth about whether we were just going to turn the telly off or if I'll put the next disc on. After 2-3 minutes of furious debate, we almost decided to turn the telly off…fortunately, for my sake, I decided to watch a couple more episodes, and as I got up…from under my pillow, this disgusting, pure black spawn of satan crawls from under my pillow, directly under where I was laying and starts running about all over the bed.

If I'd never gotten up to change the disc, I never would have known there was a spider under me…just waiting…just waiting for the right moment to crawl into my ear and lay spider eggs and then have my brain infested with baby spiders, slowly devouring me from the inside, before I'm walking around one day and my head bursts all over some kid, and the spiders crawl out and start murdering and raping and pillaging cities, and then everyone will go into a frenzy and begin to bash people's ****ing brains out and start taking dumps on each other's porches; people will start accusing their neighbours of being spiders and pre-emptively start spraying them with insect killer or try to stomp their ****ing heads in; general anarchy will take over, we'll start setting people on fire and immolating ourselves, and then, oh god, the resources will probably dry up, war will start, campaigners will die, and nuclear strikes will potentially end humanity as we know it.

But fortunately I got up.

 

[Dan Moody]

…from under my pillow, this disgusting, pure black spawn of satan crawls from under my pillow, directly under where I was laying and starts running about all over the bed.

lost my shit at this

 

[SugarShane]

Oh yippee, its dead, but instead of dropping to the floor (and out of eye sight), its like hanging suspended in some kind of web it must of made before and hanging on the wall like some ****ed up piece of art work.

FML.

Just thought you'd like to know that you probably had 2 spiders then. Huntsmans don't make webs so if it was sitting in one, it was another spider's, and he's probably still chilling somewhere.

 

[E92_]

Scared of using my toilet after finding (and killing) a big white tail on the ceiling.

 

[Cruyff14]

Scared of using my toilet after finding (and killing) a big white tail on the ceiling.

Then just piss in your bed.

 

[E92_]

Then just piss in your bed.

It will have to do for the mean time.

 

[Shell]

Just thought you'd like to know that you probably had 2 spiders then. Huntsmans don't make webs so if it was sitting in one, it was another spider's, and he's probably still chilling somewhere.

I know they dont make webs, before I was about to go out for the day, I sprayed around the perimeter of my room.

 

[TubbsFarquhar]

My worst memory would have to be when I was 8 years old when I opened up the car door to go to school and saw a giant, brown, hairy huntsman crawling on the back seat and then hide itself somewhere in the car. Was late for school because I refused to enter the car for half an hour until I put my bravery to the test and sat in the front seat equipped with fly spray ready to pounce if it appeared. It didn't thank ****, found it dead when I was getting picked up at the end of the day.

 

[BotsMaster]

 

[Quivorir]

Genuinely don't understand how an adult can be scared of a little insect. Not 10 min ago I was eating on the couch and a cockroach scuttled past me (no idea why as I don't live in a bin) and it didn't phase me at all. It will go outside eventually

Lmfao just lost my shit. Don't ever change SG.

 

[winnyblues]

I know spiders are bad but **** me how can you say they are worst than cockroaches. Cockroaches are the most vile ****ing things on the planet, I have no problem in letting a spider go or killing it, have never been afraid of any insects but **** me man cockroaches when they appear out of ****ing no where scare the shit out of me.
Like last night all my windows were closed in my bedroom yet somehow a ****ing flying cockroach comes out of no where and yeah the ones which roam on the ground are bad but flying ****ing cockroaches have to be the most disgusting insect out there. I have a baseball bat and I squatted the c**t 20+ times yet it was still moving.
Sigh

 

[Richo is God]

I have a baseball bat and I squatted the THIS WORD IS A BLOCKED SWEAR WORD 20+ times yet it was still moving.
Sigh

Probably better off trying to squash the cockroach instead of squatting with the baseball bat

 

[Freak Dodgeball Accident]

Think I've posted this before. Sound quality is pretty bad though so you have to turn it up a bit.

 

[LukasTheGreat]

nopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenope.

 

[E92_]

 

[Cruyff14]

You're all chicken shits.

 

[Shell]

I know spiders are bad but **** me how can you say they are worst than cockroaches. Cockroaches are the most vile ******* things on the planet, I have no problem in letting a spider go or killing it, have never been afraid of any insects but **** me man cockroaches when they appear out of ******* no where scare the shit out of me.
Sigh

One time a cockroach just "appeared" between me and the TV. Ran to get the mortein, and in that time of course the thing has disappeared (is always the way isn't it?? Will sit there for a year while you stare at it, as soon as your eyes arent on it anymore, it moves), so decide, "it was facing the TV" will spray the mortein in that general area.

I sit back on my bed, very warily, cause something just doesnt seem right..... and it wasnt.

The cockroach fell on me, somehow was on the wall above my bed.
Completely lost my shit.

I also had a moth fall from my ceiling fan onto my bed, right near me once. I threw a bowl of popcorn at it.

Seemed like the right thing to do at the time.

 

[Ahern2Boof]

Would anyone eat cooked spider legs?

 

[Hipster Doofus]

**** this ****ing thread

 

[winnyblues]

Don;t know how anyone can say spiders are worst than cockroaches, cockroaches are my f**king nightmare