Noobz0r
Tom Jonas Fan Club Junior VP
- Aug 18, 2009
- 30,325
- 40,079
- AFL Club
- Port Adelaide
... being inactive!
Noobz0r tells the haters and the non-believers what he thinks of them
A former star flickers sadly. A shell of the poster he once was, and once could have been. In easily the greatest draft class ever seen, Season 16, Noobz0r slowly but surely flourished. Whilst not the equal of his contemporaries The Filth Wizard, Marlowe, Danx16 and Footypie32, Noobz0r found his feet in the league and became a key cog in the Swamprats and wider SFA machine.
He was touted as a future champion, and was predictably handed the Swamprats captaincy going into the Season 19 season after being named in the All-SFA side. Such was his promise that he was lured by the sweet, dulcet tones of Gee Dub and The Filth Wizard in joining the Dragons coup of December '14. His was the biggest name on the list of recruits that day, the drawcard of the biggest thread in SFA history. His deception brought a club to it's knees and had many saying the Swamprats should fold. His promise? A new Noobz0r; angry and combative.
And at first, he was. He featured heavily in Season 19, posting a swathe throughout media and match threads alike. But like so many bright stars, he slowly faded. Faded into the recesses of the mind, such as all those before him. Joining the Rhys Palmer's, Neil Patrick Harris', and Julie Goodwin's of this world. And just like Palmer at GWS, Patrick-Harris in Gone Girl, and Julie Goodwin in the CWA annual release, Noobz0r kept trying. He was still dominating Werewolf, he moved back to the Rats to maintain relevance, and he had a shortlived but popular thread in the SFA Cartoon Show. He was there in body, but he wasn't there in spirit.
But he still wasn't the old Noobz0r, the one that had become a mainstay of the SFA. He had lost his mojo.
But good news is afoot, SFA. He is returning. He is refreshed. His mojo is back. And he has a list of promises.
1. He will release an episode of the SFA cartoon show at least once a fortnight. It's a great idea, he's a great writer. The league needs it.
2. He will make at least 10 quality posts per match thread this season. Quality posts being those that actively contribute to the thread and get other posters involved. He will be above spamming.
3. He will hold a key position within the Swamprats 20 by the end of the season. Those being FF, CHF, Ruck, Ruck Rover, Rover, Centre or a Wing. This isn't a brag nor an ultimatum. The Rats have a seriously quality list and he has his work cut out to prove himself worthy of such a position.
4. He will be All-SFA for Season 22.
It is understood that Noobz0r and his thread will have detractors. He himself has gone on record and said he fully expects people to respond with "who?", "yawn", "TL;DR", "hey! that's the father of my child!" "where's my alimony!?" and many other sad little retorts. He wants to make it clear that these are the works of inferior peasants who have never written decent media in their lives.
Bring it on. Noobz0r has returned. The Ben Cousins of the SFA.
Noobz0r tells the haters and the non-believers what he thinks of them
A former star flickers sadly. A shell of the poster he once was, and once could have been. In easily the greatest draft class ever seen, Season 16, Noobz0r slowly but surely flourished. Whilst not the equal of his contemporaries The Filth Wizard, Marlowe, Danx16 and Footypie32, Noobz0r found his feet in the league and became a key cog in the Swamprats and wider SFA machine.
He was touted as a future champion, and was predictably handed the Swamprats captaincy going into the Season 19 season after being named in the All-SFA side. Such was his promise that he was lured by the sweet, dulcet tones of Gee Dub and The Filth Wizard in joining the Dragons coup of December '14. His was the biggest name on the list of recruits that day, the drawcard of the biggest thread in SFA history. His deception brought a club to it's knees and had many saying the Swamprats should fold. His promise? A new Noobz0r; angry and combative.
And at first, he was. He featured heavily in Season 19, posting a swathe throughout media and match threads alike. But like so many bright stars, he slowly faded. Faded into the recesses of the mind, such as all those before him. Joining the Rhys Palmer's, Neil Patrick Harris', and Julie Goodwin's of this world. And just like Palmer at GWS, Patrick-Harris in Gone Girl, and Julie Goodwin in the CWA annual release, Noobz0r kept trying. He was still dominating Werewolf, he moved back to the Rats to maintain relevance, and he had a shortlived but popular thread in the SFA Cartoon Show. He was there in body, but he wasn't there in spirit.
But he still wasn't the old Noobz0r, the one that had become a mainstay of the SFA. He had lost his mojo.
But good news is afoot, SFA. He is returning. He is refreshed. His mojo is back. And he has a list of promises.
1. He will release an episode of the SFA cartoon show at least once a fortnight. It's a great idea, he's a great writer. The league needs it.
2. He will make at least 10 quality posts per match thread this season. Quality posts being those that actively contribute to the thread and get other posters involved. He will be above spamming.
3. He will hold a key position within the Swamprats 20 by the end of the season. Those being FF, CHF, Ruck, Ruck Rover, Rover, Centre or a Wing. This isn't a brag nor an ultimatum. The Rats have a seriously quality list and he has his work cut out to prove himself worthy of such a position.
4. He will be All-SFA for Season 22.
It is understood that Noobz0r and his thread will have detractors. He himself has gone on record and said he fully expects people to respond with "who?", "yawn", "TL;DR", "hey! that's the father of my child!" "where's my alimony!?" and many other sad little retorts. He wants to make it clear that these are the works of inferior peasants who have never written decent media in their lives.
Bring it on. Noobz0r has returned. The Ben Cousins of the SFA.
