Mega Thread Tell It Like It Is

[Frankston Rover]

You f***. I cant believe you would do that! Who the fack ruins movies like that!

A friend of a friend did that to me. I just stood there and said 'Well I probably will now."

Didn't decide to watch it for a few years but when it was on the telly I watch the first half an hour and turned it off. It really is a shit movie if you already know the ending.

I did however have a girlfriend once who had a go at me. She asked me to watch 'Titanic' with her and I told her "There's no point, I already know the ending. The boat sinks."

She looked at me angrily and said "Don't tell me the ending, I haven't seen it yet!"

True story.

 

[Lord_Flashheart]

Watched the final 2 part Seinfeld show last night.
******* funny.
"It was Moops"

Frank Costanzo watching his son on trial to George Steinbrenner - "How could you give 12 million dollars to Hideki Irabu?"

Loved Frank, Happy Festivus.

 

[AlterRob]

I'll tell you what pisses me off! When I'm driving home and some ****ing w***er sits right up my ****ing ass on a 3 lane road, then I move over to let this knob go ahead, he slows down. What the **** dickhead? GET OUTTA MY BUM HOLE YOU ****ING BOSK!@!

 

[Lord_Flashheart]

I'll tell you what pisses me off! When I'm driving home and some ******* ****** sits right up my ******* ass on a 3 lane road, then I move over to let this knob go ahead, he slows down. What the **** dickhead? GET OUTTA MY BUM HOLE YOU ******* BOSK!@!

Traffic makes us angry people.

How about pricks who drive at 10ks below the speed limit on single lane roads when you are on a long drive but when an overtaking lane turns up, all of a sudden they are Fernando a-****ing-lonso

 

[KardiniaPark]

1. Horse floats.

The problems with people who drive around with horse floats is that they are usually 'horse people' which means they are morons. I've never met a 'horse person' who has half a brain and this is reflected in their driving. Where do horses need to be at 8:30am or at 5pm on any weekday? There needs to be a curfew, where horses are transported from 12am - 4am only. No exceptions.

2. Green arrow goes off but you still have a green light.

Memo to these d**kheads, if you have a green light facing you, you are still allowed to turn right or left if there is nothing coming. Unless you have a RED arrow, you are allowed to enter the intersection. Learn the f**king rules.

3. Doctors

Hey d**kheads. Why bother having appointment times when you still make me wait 45 mintues?

4. McDonalds Customers.

The menu hasn't changed and you've been in the queue for 10 minutes - so what's the f**king hold up?

"Geez, I don't know what I want. Umm, I'll have a cheeseburger... and... hmmm a large fries... with a... actually do you still serve those Zinger burg.. oh that's KFC.. umm... cheeseburger... large fries and ..."

5. Magic Happens

Whenever I see a 'Magic Happens" sticker on a car, you just know you're dealing with a complete knob. More than likely it's a woman.

6. Golf

Keep up with the group in front or GTFO. If you can't, let me play through you ar$ehole.

7. Movies

"Hey have you seen The Sixth Sense yet, Frankston Rover?"
"No. Any good?
"Oh yeah, you'll never guess Bruce Willis is a ghost."

Err...they need to be AT THE RACES.

 

[AlterRob]

And what about those ****ing shitheads at train stations who want to tell me about some ****ing hippie shit they are going to protest about! "Sir, this will only take 2 minutes". "2 MINUTES!? MY ****ING TRAIN LEAVES IN 1 ****ING MINUTE, OUTTA MY WAY YOU DIRTY ****ING **** SMOKER!!!!@!"

 

[Frankston Rover]

Traffic makes us angry people.

How about pricks who drive at 10ks below the speed limit on single lane roads when you are on a long drive but when an overtaking lane turns up, all of a sudden they are Fernando a-*******-lonso

This.

 

[Tippett2Goal]

When I'm driving behind some slow prick on a single lane highway, and an overtaking lane comes along and suddenly they decide to do 120...

 

[Frankston Rover]

Err...they need to be AT THE RACES.

Then take them at night or during the middle of the day. Not when there is 3 million people trying to get to or from work.

 

[KardiniaPark]

Then take them at night or during the middle of the day. Not when there is 3 million people trying to get to or from work.

So a horse has to wait in an open stall in the rain for 24 hours before they run? I don't think you've thought this through

 

[Frankston Rover]

People Overseas.

"Oh are you from Australia? My uncle drives a taxi in Brisbane, you might know him..."

 

[Frankston Rover]

So a horse has to wait in an open stall in the rain for 24 hours before they run? I don't think you've thought this through

Where do you think horses stand usually? In an apartment? They have stables at the racecourse.

Besides, they're supposed to be outside in the rain, you d**khead.

 

[KardiniaPark]

Cleaners at work- If a normal person walked into the bathroom to clean it and saw it was occupied you would walk off and do something else until it was free to clean. The campaigner at work KNOCKS ON THE ****ING DOOR. Like, **** me dude what the **** do you think im doing in here? Making a pavlova? Would you like a slice dickhead? **** ME.

 

[Lord_Flashheart]

People Overseas.

"Oh are you from Australia? My uncle drives a taxi in Brisbane, you might know him..."

Travel to the subcontinent a bit do you?

 

[KardiniaPark]

Where do you think horses stand usually? In an apartment?

They're supposed to be outside in the rain, you d**khead.

LOL.

No they would be in a nice stable undercover and out of the weather.

 

[AlterRob]

"Would you like fries with that"? " **** yes! I would ****ing like fries, but I don't have enough ****ing change in my ****ing car to buy any ****ing fries, so I didn't ****ing order them!

 

[Frankston Rover]

Travel to the subcontinent a bit do you?

I've travelled a little and the best is the Americans and the Poms.

We had relo's visit from the UK and they asked us where the overnight stop over was from Frankston to Geelong.

They also said they were going to 'nip over' to Perth fro a few days. When we said it would take them 4 days just to drive there, they were genuinely shocked.

Yanks all think we ride kangaroos and kill crocodiles.

 

[Brown n Gold]

Why is it when i'm driving 105km/hr in the right lane I always get some tosser in a 4WD drive up behind me and flash his high beams. FFS im going over the speed limit already. There is no 'right lane is an autobahn' rule.

Gotta call you up on this one NN, I am that guy (I don't drive in 4 wheeler) but who the **** are you to determine my speed, if I want to run the gauntlet with the pigs then that is up to me... Get the **** in the left lane if you want to drive like Ms Daisy

 

[Mighty P]

women in high heels
women with massive sunglasses
women with arrogance
women with act like men
women who look like men
women with manly haircuts
women with full-time jobs

Sounds like you don't like women at all.

 

[Les Norton]

Are you driving backwards? Giving way to your left?

My bad.......... You've seen me drive?

 

[Ross Prunster]

People who take their own bags shopping and insist everything's packed in the appropriate bag. Sickening near retirement age couple in matching lavender sweaters ahead of me today, had about 8 items, but needed 5 different bags to put them in.

 

[Mighty P]

Idiots that drive in the right hand lane and expressway. LEFT HAND LANE UNLESS OVERTAKING!!

Morons who post food selfies on Facebook witht he caption "clean eating" you are eating ******* chicken nuggets which have been deep fried.. That is not clean eating!!

Chicks that wear leggings or short/shorts at the gym then complain when guys stair!!

Fat chicks in inappropriate clothing

People who camp on COD. also people with bloody lagging internet

When you are quitely eating your lunch while on lunch break and people come up to you to talk about work!!

Agree with these bar the lagging internet thing; 90% of Australians have laggy internet and crap latency. Our broadband services are crap compared to the rest of the world. Even Romania has faster internet speeds than us.

 

[Wingard2Butcher]

Sounds like you don't like women at all.

i like feminine women

 

[Brown n Gold]

People Overseas.

"Oh are you from Australia? My uncle drives a taxi in Brisbane, you might know him..."

HAHAHHAHAHA yes quoted for amazingness.. so true

 

[Mighty P]

What about Mechanics? Why can't you just fix my car? I appreciate the thought because people have budgets rah rah rah but **** dude if something has a 'slight leak' it needs to be fixed. Pick up the ******* phone and tell me what the ******* problem is and lets fix the ******* thing. I don't want a ******* 'to do' list when I come to pick the car up. I want a ******* 'done' list. That's why you have my ******* car... TO FIX IT.

'But it will be $300 to replace the blah blah?' Well **** me, I'll just run out and get an 8 year loan to pay it off then shall I? ****, let people know what's going on so I don't have to waste three ******* Saturdays taking it down there because you only want to do one thing at a time in case I have a heart attack at the price. Give me a ******* quote and lets get ******* moving.

Mechanics are often scumbags. I try to go to ones I know, but even then you go in and say my 6th cylinder isn't working...6 hours later when they haven't called you back and you call and they say "oh, you need a new transmission on top of a new engine. Rip-off merchants. Their biggest trick is machining the disc brakes, every bloody time I change brake pads you telling me my discs need machining? Every time!