Competitions The 2024 Dear Kate competition

[Proper Gander]

I’m feeling more inspired then ever before so thought I would run a competition. BIG TIME prize money.

I’ve decided it’s okay if I run it and also get to compete, so I will probably win all the prizes, but please don’t let this deter you.

So, what you have to do is post your ideas for what might be good in a letter to Kate. This is what I’ve come up with so far.

Dear Kate

1.

For your information I do attend our games. If you’re wondering why I don’t cheer, here’s a clue. They are crap games. The last time I made a noise at the MCG was after we kicked our 15th behind, I threw a massive tantrum and security told me I had to sober up or leave…

2.

I do go to games. The only reason I keep going these days is my dying grandmother made me promise to always support the Demons. I wish that before I promised I remembered that, by that time, she was fully demented, humming Bing Crosby all the time, and wouldn’t let me visit her because she got me mixed up with Fidel Castro.

3.

Shut up

 

[MarcMaverick]

Dear Kate
You useless hack
Go Away and Never come back.

 

[Toump Ass]

Dear Kate,

Stop telling me what to do, you're not my mum anymore.

Cheers, Mr. Ass.

 

[Seattle Mariners]

Leave Kate alone.
She was key to our 2021 flag.
She selflessly stayed behind to allow another MFC staffer to quarantine in WA.
(she did end up going but why let facts get in the way of a good story)

 

[MarcMaverick]

Dear Kate,

Stop telling me what to do, you're not my mum anymore.

Cheers, Mr. Ass.

Billy Gunn?

 

[Proper Gander]

Dear Kate

If I wanted to be more like a Collingwood supporter I would remove half my teeth with pliers and tattoo my knuckles. Or maybe support Collingwood.

Kindly * off

 

[Proper Gander]

Dear Kate

Long-time supporter of the DEES here.

I am also a subscription member of the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra.

I have taken on board your advice to make a noise. Last night I screamed hysterically through all four movements of Beethoven’s Pastoral Symphony No. 6.

I was disappointed to find they didn’t lift their game.

 

[Daemon]

Dear Kate.
Just focus on running the club wel...
Let the media department do their good wor..
Support Goody to continue his excellent gamepl..
....
...
Daemon

 

[Dark Avenger]

Dear Kate,
I am tired of these jokes about my giant hand. The first such incident occured in 1956 when...

 

[Crimson Azure]

Dear Kate,

Aleen Dullers conspired with the Guatemala military to overthrow their government. They then proceeded to use their influence to force my father to support the Dees. He doesn't know why but suspects the club may have been a front for communist propaganda. Moving forward 25 years optative's were still monitoring my fathers support of the Dees and insisted that anyone part of his household must also go for the Dees, my father informed me that I had two options, support the Dees or move out of home. Seeing I was only four, I felt the best option was to commit myself to a life of misery and support the Dees. Of all the evil deeds done by Mr Dullers, this by far is the most heinous of them.

 

[Proper Gander]

Dear Kate,

Aleen Dullers conspired with the Guatemala military to overthrow their government. They then proceeded to use their influence to force my father to support the Dees. He doesn't know why but suspects the club may have been a front for communist propaganda. Moving forward 25 years optative's were still monitoring my fathers support of the Dees and insisted then anyone part of his household must also go for the Dees, my father informed me that I had two options, support the Dees or move out of home. Seeing I was only four, I felt the best option was to commit myself to a life of misery and support the Dees. Of all the evil deeds done by Mr Dullers, this by far is the most heinous of them.

Oh s**t. If I don’t lift my game I might have to give you all the money. Lucky I plan to rig it.

 

[Topkent]

Dear Kate.
I can't tell if I'm watching a live feed of Gaza or Melbourne games anymore due to the amount of rockets being launched and children crying at the ground.

 

[Dancing Potato]

Dear Kate.
I can't tell if I'm watching a live feed of Gaza or Melbourne games anymore due to the amount of rockets being launched and children crying at the ground.