The In-Laws.....HELP

[BigVig]

Can anyone help me with some out of control in-laws???

I was friends with the family until i started dating one of them, and now they all hate me(and dont mind showing it)

This is becoming a real strain on our relationship, and any help would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Cap]

Can anyone help me with some out of control in-laws???

I was friends with the family until i started dating one of them, and now they all hate me(and dont mind showing it)

This is becoming a real strain on our relationship, and any help would be greatly appreciated.

2 questions

are you male or female ?
how much younger is she/he than you ?

 

[BigVig]

im a male...(contrary to what her family may say) and we are both 22

 

[cleveland]

im a male...(contrary to what her family may say ) and we are both 22

What.........do they think your a female??

 

[BigVig]

haha...no they dont call me female, i was just trying to get across that they have reduced themselves to name calling.

 

[Cap]

well - i was expecting some disparity of age.

who has more money - your family or hers ?

sounds like they don't like your intent - family friends for a while then you move in ?

unless they are just plain weird (or maybe its like that house episode where the brother and sister were dating cause they didn't realise they were related but the dad did )

I think your in stife unless you confront them and ask them whats wrong

does she have a sister or brother who is atleast civil to you that you could ask ?

 

[Kingpin]

Are they bogans?
Or are they pretty well off?

 

[BigVig]

well - i was expecting some disparity of age.

who has more money - your family or hers ?

sounds like they don't like your intent - family friends for a while then you move in ?

unless they are just plain weird (or maybe its like that house episode where the brother and sister were dating cause they didn't realise they were related but the dad did )

I think your in stife unless you confront them and ask them whats wrong

does she have a sister or brother who is atleast civil to you that you could ask ?

My family is much better off, but I never bring it up with her or her family and I have never lived off my family and make my own income, she is as just as well off as me as far as money goes, but the rest of her family arent and are always taking money off her to pay for their smokes and beers(i wish i was joking here, but sadly its the truth.)

some of her family are nice to me, but they arnt as close to her and her brother.

FYI her younger brother came over last night, (i accidently told the dog to go and attack our intruder - which made me smile when i found out it was the brother), my my girlfriend offered him one of my beers...needless to say i was not impressed.

 

[Mrs_Smooth]

dont worry about it too much, at least you wont have to deal with them much

 

[Alex99]

My family is much better off, but I never bring it up with her or her family and I have never lived off my family and make my own income, she is as just as well off as me as far as money goes, but the rest of her family arent and are always taking money off her to pay for their smokes and beers(i wish i was joking here, but sadly its the truth.)

some of her family are nice to me, but they arnt as close to her and her brother.

FYI her younger brother came over last night, (i accidently told the dog to go and attack our intruder - which made me smile when i found out it was the brother), my my girlfriend offered him one of my beers...needless to say i was not impressed.

Do you make it know you are not happy about her giving them money? If so it sound like they resent you for tying to stop the gravy train.

If she is happy about helping them out financially and you are trying to stop this from happening, it’s any wonder they dislike you.

I get pissed when my GF start digging into her purse to help her younger sister out with rent and food because he has spent her money on stupid stuff but now I have just learnt to shut up about it. To much of a Hassel

 

[Cap]

My family is much better off, but I never bring it up with her or her family and I have never lived off my family and make my own income, she is as just as well off as me as far as money goes, but the rest of her family arent and are always taking money off her to pay for their smokes and beers(i wish i was joking here, but sadly its the truth.)

some of her family are nice to me, but they arnt as close to her and her brother.

FYI her younger brother came over last night, (i accidently told the dog to go and attack our intruder - which made me smile when i found out it was the brother), my my girlfriend offered him one of my beers...needless to say i was not impressed.

can you move - like interstate ??? or overseas - looks like your dating below yourself ( i know its not PC but it happens), I realise this doesn't sound very good - but don't date people who aren't the same socio-economic group - it will only end in tears.

a say give her the boot, it isn't going to impove unless you accept your paying for her and the family.

 

[Alex99]

can you move - like interstate ??? or overseas - looks like your dating below yourself ( i know its not PC but it happens), I realise this doesn't sound very good - but don't date people who aren't the same socio-economic group - it will only end in tears.

a say give her the boot, it isn't going to impove unless you accept your paying for her and the family.

That’s a wee bit pretentious of you caps.

As I said above – tell her to cut them off and just say NO.

 

[Cap]

That’s a wee bit pretentious of you caps.

As I said above – tell her to cut them off and just say NO.

c'mon you understand were I am coming from

people with fundamental differences rarely last.....

but your right - best to talk to her and work out why she keeps giving them money, it maybe a strong family tie,

problem is if you marry the girl your the new cash cow....

 

[Alex99]

c'mon you understand were I am coming from

people with fundamental differences rarely last.....

but your right - best to talk to her and work out why she keeps giving them money, it maybe a strong family tie,

problem is if you marry the girl your the new cash cow....

LMAO – I know where you are coming from and you are correct, mixing social class never works.

Don't become the cash cow.

 

[MacMum]

Its a tricky one, for sure...but here goes! You are not married, she is earning her own money, so therefor it is hers to do with as she likes, not for you to tell her. Would you like her to tell you how to spend your money and what you should be doing with it? Also, I think it is important to get along with in-laws, otherwise will definately cause problems.. not worth it, so make an effort, try to talk to them..they are important to your GF, so it should be important to you...I wish you good luck, if you really care for GF, then there will be a solution somewhere...cheers!

 

[FootyJunkie]

Are they bogans?
Or are they pretty well off?

or CUBs, cashed up bogans ie. Western Australian miners from Kalgoorlie

 

[eddiesmith]

Who cares about what they think?

 

[BigVig]

Thanks to everyone for all their input, Its all greatly appreciated.

The last few days have been very testing for us, but we are getting through it. Whats dissappointing about this whole thing is that even while writing this post, im thinking about her family, and they are again making me angry again. Im tired of it.

As Im writing this, Im thinking about what im going to say next time i see them. As much as I want to walk up to him and hit the little bastard, I know the only thing that I can say is that myself and his sister are in this together for the long haul, and that we both have plans that we want to see into fruition.

Anyways, thankyou all again, I really appreciate your help.

...On a side note, its unbelievable that there is so much name calling and abuse between posters(which I am also guilty of), but when it comes to a person asking for help, there are people that are willing to give them a bit of advice. I find it a very refreshing feeling.

 

[Gabbie]

From reading your posts it sounds like to me you are planning on being with this girl for a very long time i.e. Marriage.

Obviously you knew her family before you and she "hooked" up so you have a fair idea what they are about. There is an old saying, "softly, softly catchee monkey" and "it's easier to catch flies with honey than vinegar", You don't have to suck up big time but be yourself, polite, civil and friendly but don't live on their doorstep and don't envourage them to live at yours. Try to avoid them as much as you can if possible without making it toooooo obvious.

From your original post it sounds like you were just a friend of girl and family until things got romantic so i guess they are trying to get their heads around that thought and what goes with it.

Should you and this girl stay together and things get permanent and her family are still a pain maybe in a subtle way move away, (fyi it's 25 max here today and it's mid winter) it would be for the best for you and her as she will have divided loyalties and i've seen what that can do many times. Not a pretty sight at family gatherings - glad i live by myself. trust me.


Good luck.

 

[carntheroos4eva]

Can anyone help me with some out of control in-laws???

I was friends with the family until i started dating one of them, and now they all hate me(and dont mind showing it)

This is becoming a real strain on our relationship, and any help would be greatly appreciated.

Jealousy is a curse and they are probably jealous of you hooking up with one of the girls. They will overcome this. Get your gf to ask you to come over for dinner and you guys can have a talk to them about all of this.

 

[its game on]

What's the difference between In-laws and outlaws?

At least outlaws are wanted!!

Good luck!!

 

[yeah-nah]

Can anyone help me with some out of control in-laws???

I was friends with the family until i started dating one of them, and now they all hate me(and dont mind showing it)

This is becoming a real strain on our relationship, and any help would be greatly appreciated.

1) theyre not your in laws, theyre the parents of some chick youre shagging.

2) youre 22. You really dont need this. Find another chick. Blokes have left women over far more trivial matters than this.

 

[VanBerlo=God]

Can anyone help me with some out of control in-laws???

I was friends with the family until i started dating one of them, and now they all hate me(and dont mind showing it)

This is becoming a real strain on our relationship, and any help would be greatly appreciated.

urgh reminds me of my family.

Don't force her to choose between you and her family, that will only end in pain.

 

[VanBerlo=God]

1) theyre not your in laws, theyre the parents of some chick youre shagging.

2) youre 22. You really dont need this. Find another chick. Blokes have left women over far more trivial matters than this.

like wonky noses, and bad bo, cant say words properly, smoke, snore, etc. etc. etc.

 

[Mcchawk]

Had the same problem from prospective in laws when dating my now EX wife. Get out while you can, plenty of fish in the sea.