The off topic thread 3.0

[pantskyle]

Guns N' Roses.

 

[Cruyff14]

Thank ****.

 

[Spanish Sahara]

Faith No More

 

[Cruyff14]

Glad to see we're not Keeping the Faith.

 

[Art Vandelay_]

Can’t ban mods. If only they’d got Gibbs jd2010

 

[Art Vandelay_]

It's fine wtf is he on about

Who knows. Let’s just say he’s getting plenty of feedback.
One sick **** said he liked it. Probably someone who pulls wings off flies.

 

[Bojan KantKick]

Seems appropriate. Was a tune back in the day.

 

[jod23]

This is a shout out for some help.

I've been struggling lately.

So I've been seeing this girl for nearly 4 years. We were already friends and had known eachother about 8-9 years. We used to work together. When I left the job, we just became Facebook friends and never really saw each other.

She went off and got married and had a kid. Then in Nov of 2013, I got a FB msg from her asking how I was. I rolled with it. Turned out after 4-5 years of marriage her husband had had an affair with her best friend. She found out about two months before getting in contact with me.

Anyways we begin seeing eachother.

It's a bit of a messed up situation. I guess I dont really need to get into details of the relationship.

But at the end of the day, she has recently called it quits with me.

Friends and family and co-workers are just like, that's devastating but you need to move on and meet new people and be happy.

But I dont know if that is easy for people. If that's normal? Maybe I'm not normal. But im completely devastated. Completely heartbroken.

I just dont know what to do. I think about her almost every second of every day. I can barely function at work. Ive had to go home a few times from work because im just too upset to deal with work. When I get home, Im not much better. I try to watch movies and tv shows to take my mind off it.

But whatever I do, I just feel lost. I feel ... like it's hard to describe. It's like grief and despair. Like I just dont know what to do or how to function. Im not like normal people where I can just move on and be happy. Before I met this girl I was crushed by another and spent 5 years trying to get over her. I fear im in for another 5 years of just being heartbroken.

I guess my question is ... have any of you guys had similar experiences to this. Any techniques that might help me get over somebody.

And not just the oh... go out with your mates and keep your mind off it, after a few weeks you will be all good. Im not wired that way. That doesnt work.

I dont know... any help lads would be great.

 

[RPCB]

Can someone please tell me why Bruce Springsteen always looks constipated?

 

[Cooldude]

This is a shout out for some help.

I've been struggling lately.

So I've been seeing this girl for nearly 4 years. We were already friends and had known eachother about 8-9 years. We used to work together. When I left the job, we just became Facebook friends and never really saw each other.

She went off and got married and had a kid. Then in Nov of 2013, I got a FB msg from her asking how I was. I rolled with it. Turned out after 4-5 years of marriage her husband had had an affair with her best friend. She found out about two months before getting in contact with me.

Anyways we begin seeing eachother.

It's a bit of a messed up situation. I guess I dont really need to get into details of the relationship.

But at the end of the day, she has recently called it quits with me.

Friends and family and co-workers are just like, that's devastating but you need to move on and meet new people and be happy.

But I dont know if that is easy for people. If that's normal? Maybe I'm not normal. But im completely devastated. Completely heartbroken.

I just dont know what to do. I think about her almost every second of every day. I can barely function at work. Ive had to go home a few times from work because im just too upset to deal with work. When I get home, Im not much better. I try to watch movies and tv shows to take my mind off it.

But whatever I do, I just feel lost. I feel ... like it's hard to describe. It's like grief and despair. Like I just dont know what to do or how to function. Im not like normal people where I can just move on and be happy. Before I met this girl I was crushed by another and spent 5 years trying to get over her. I fear im in for another 5 years of just being heartbroken.

I guess my question is ... have any of you guys had similar experiences to this. Any techniques that might help me get over somebody.

And not just the oh... go out with your mates and keep your mind off it, after a few weeks you will be all good. Im not wired that way. That doesnt work.

I dont know... any help lads would be great.

Sorry to hear about that, mate

Dunno if any of this would be any help but can only give you my own way of dealing with it. Generally my take is that any girl who ****s me over isn't worth me grieving over, coz hurting for someone that ain't worth it is just a waste of my time, although sometimes the hurt isn't really voluntary

It's the situation where people are investing so much into people that ain't actually really worth it. My best luck with women is when I don't actually invest far too much emotionally into them, and tbh a lot of women prefer it that way as well

 

[SM]

This is a shout out for some help.

I've been struggling lately.

So I've been seeing this girl for nearly 4 years. We were already friends and had known eachother about 8-9 years. We used to work together. When I left the job, we just became Facebook friends and never really saw each other.

She went off and got married and had a kid. Then in Nov of 2013, I got a FB msg from her asking how I was. I rolled with it. Turned out after 4-5 years of marriage her husband had had an affair with her best friend. She found out about two months before getting in contact with me.

Anyways we begin seeing eachother.

It's a bit of a messed up situation. I guess I dont really need to get into details of the relationship.

But at the end of the day, she has recently called it quits with me.

Friends and family and co-workers are just like, that's devastating but you need to move on and meet new people and be happy.

But I dont know if that is easy for people. If that's normal? Maybe I'm not normal. But im completely devastated. Completely heartbroken.

I just dont know what to do. I think about her almost every second of every day. I can barely function at work. Ive had to go home a few times from work because im just too upset to deal with work. When I get home, Im not much better. I try to watch movies and tv shows to take my mind off it.

But whatever I do, I just feel lost. I feel ... like it's hard to describe. It's like grief and despair. Like I just dont know what to do or how to function. Im not like normal people where I can just move on and be happy. Before I met this girl I was crushed by another and spent 5 years trying to get over her. I fear im in for another 5 years of just being heartbroken.

I guess my question is ... have any of you guys had similar experiences to this. Any techniques that might help me get over somebody.

And not just the oh... go out with your mates and keep your mind off it, after a few weeks you will be all good. Im not wired that way. That doesnt work.

I dont know... any help lads would be great.

I can't say I was in a similar position exactly, but I did have a very intense on again off again relationship end where I was absolutely devastated with how it ended and took a while to get over, and all I can recommend to you is to try and go out, and meet new people. As simple as that sounds, all it takes is finding someone quirky and interesting who you click with and all of a sudden a whole new door opens to you. It's easier said than done and obviously takes a while to get over the heartbreak you've suffered, but that's the only thing you can do really.

 

[Quivorir]

Guns N' Roses.

You shut up sir.

 

[Bojan KantKick]

This is a shout out for some help.

I've been struggling lately.

So I've been seeing this girl for nearly 4 years. We were already friends and had known eachother about 8-9 years. We used to work together. When I left the job, we just became Facebook friends and never really saw each other.

She went off and got married and had a kid. Then in Nov of 2013, I got a FB msg from her asking how I was. I rolled with it. Turned out after 4-5 years of marriage her husband had had an affair with her best friend. She found out about two months before getting in contact with me.

Anyways we begin seeing eachother.

It's a bit of a messed up situation. I guess I dont really need to get into details of the relationship.

But at the end of the day, she has recently called it quits with me.

Friends and family and co-workers are just like, that's devastating but you need to move on and meet new people and be happy.

But I dont know if that is easy for people. If that's normal? Maybe I'm not normal. But im completely devastated. Completely heartbroken.

I just dont know what to do. I think about her almost every second of every day. I can barely function at work. Ive had to go home a few times from work because im just too upset to deal with work. When I get home, Im not much better. I try to watch movies and tv shows to take my mind off it.

But whatever I do, I just feel lost. I feel ... like it's hard to describe. It's like grief and despair. Like I just dont know what to do or how to function. Im not like normal people where I can just move on and be happy. Before I met this girl I was crushed by another and spent 5 years trying to get over her. I fear im in for another 5 years of just being heartbroken.

I guess my question is ... have any of you guys had similar experiences to this. Any techniques that might help me get over somebody.

And not just the oh... go out with your mates and keep your mind off it, after a few weeks you will be all good. Im not wired that way. That doesnt work.

I dont know... any help lads would be great.

support a better football team

 

[Bojan KantKick]

only joking Jodly, that really sucks mate. Can't really offer any advice except to get out there and shag as many women as you possibly can.

 

[pantskyle]

This is a shout out for some help.

I've been struggling lately.

So I've been seeing this girl for nearly 4 years. We were already friends and had known eachother about 8-9 years. We used to work together. When I left the job, we just became Facebook friends and never really saw each other.

She went off and got married and had a kid. Then in Nov of 2013, I got a FB msg from her asking how I was. I rolled with it. Turned out after 4-5 years of marriage her husband had had an affair with her best friend. She found out about two months before getting in contact with me.

Anyways we begin seeing eachother.

It's a bit of a messed up situation. I guess I dont really need to get into details of the relationship.

But at the end of the day, she has recently called it quits with me.

Friends and family and co-workers are just like, that's devastating but you need to move on and meet new people and be happy.

But I dont know if that is easy for people. If that's normal? Maybe I'm not normal. But im completely devastated. Completely heartbroken.

I just dont know what to do. I think about her almost every second of every day. I can barely function at work. Ive had to go home a few times from work because im just too upset to deal with work. When I get home, Im not much better. I try to watch movies and tv shows to take my mind off it.

But whatever I do, I just feel lost. I feel ... like it's hard to describe. It's like grief and despair. Like I just dont know what to do or how to function. Im not like normal people where I can just move on and be happy. Before I met this girl I was crushed by another and spent 5 years trying to get over her. I fear im in for another 5 years of just being heartbroken.

I guess my question is ... have any of you guys had similar experiences to this. Any techniques that might help me get over somebody.

And not just the oh... go out with your mates and keep your mind off it, after a few weeks you will be all good. Im not wired that way. That doesnt work.

I dont know... any help lads would be great.

It's going to suck for a bit but at some point you'll wake up one morning and come to terms with it.
If it gets to a real bad point don't be scared about seeing your local doctor.

 

[jod23]

only joking Jodly, that really sucks mate. Can't really offer any advice except to get out there and shag as many women as you possibly can.

I have a few girls chasing me already but I just have no interest in them, even though they are pretty hot. Like I just want her... not them.

Sorry to hear about that, mate

Dunno if any of this would be any help but can only give you my own way of dealing with it. Generally my take is that any girl who ****s me over isn't worth me grieving over, coz hurting for someone that ain't worth it is just a waste of my time, although sometimes the hurt isn't really voluntary

It's the situation where people are investing so much into people that ain't actually really worth it. My best luck with women is when I don't actually invest far too much emotionally into them, and tbh a lot of women prefer it that way as well

I sit there and tell myself that too. Like I poured everything into it and she just turns around after four years and really never giving us a chance and just ends it. Even after I helped her through the most difficult time in her life with the cheating husband etc.

So she's not worth me grieving over. But if I could control my feelings, or if anybody could control their feelings then life would be so much easier. But nobody can control their feelings. So im just stuck feeling the way I do.

I can't say I was in a similar position exactly, but I did have a very intense on again off again relationship end where I was absolutely devastated with how it ended and took a while to get over, and all I can recommend to you is to try and go out, and meet new people. As simple as that sounds, all it takes is finding someone quirky and interesting who you click with and all of a sudden a whole new door opens to you. It's easier said than done and obviously takes a while to get over the heartbreak you've suffered, but that's the only thing you can do really.

This is what all my friends and family say. You just have to move on. But I just cant seem to. It doesnt help when I dont have a lot going on socially. All my mates I grew up with are married and families and kids so it's impossible to get the boys together.

I did have my poker nights, a different circle of friends, but she started working for the poker company so now she is there every Tues and Thurs night. So I've stopped going because it's too difficult to see her.

It's just so incredibly difficult because I'm not just losing my lover, but I'm also losing my best friend. I mean we would msg eachother constantly. 100-200 times a day. Just always in constant contact. Now nothing.

Anyways, cheers for the support lads. I was just kinda hoping for something outside the box to help me. Something more than just go out with your friends and meet someone new. That's not gonna work for me. Im just wired differently I feel. Plus she means pretty much everything to me. Ugh....

 

[Cruyff14]

This is a shout out for some help.

I've been struggling lately.

So I've been seeing this girl for nearly 4 years. We were already friends and had known eachother about 8-9 years. We used to work together. When I left the job, we just became Facebook friends and never really saw each other.

She went off and got married and had a kid. Then in Nov of 2013, I got a FB msg from her asking how I was. I rolled with it. Turned out after 4-5 years of marriage her husband had had an affair with her best friend. She found out about two months before getting in contact with me.

Anyways we begin seeing eachother.

It's a bit of a messed up situation. I guess I dont really need to get into details of the relationship.

But at the end of the day, she has recently called it quits with me.

Friends and family and co-workers are just like, that's devastating but you need to move on and meet new people and be happy.

But I dont know if that is easy for people. If that's normal? Maybe I'm not normal. But im completely devastated. Completely heartbroken.

I just dont know what to do. I think about her almost every second of every day. I can barely function at work. Ive had to go home a few times from work because im just too upset to deal with work. When I get home, Im not much better. I try to watch movies and tv shows to take my mind off it.

But whatever I do, I just feel lost. I feel ... like it's hard to describe. It's like grief and despair. Like I just dont know what to do or how to function. Im not like normal people where I can just move on and be happy. Before I met this girl I was crushed by another and spent 5 years trying to get over her. I fear im in for another 5 years of just being heartbroken.

I guess my question is ... have any of you guys had similar experiences to this. Any techniques that might help me get over somebody.

And not just the oh... go out with your mates and keep your mind off it, after a few weeks you will be all good. Im not wired that way. That doesnt work.

I dont know... any help lads would be great.

Do things that make you happy. Watch football, play games, do whatever. Enjoy yourself. Life is about living. Don't spend it feeling sorry for yourself and dwelling on what's happened.

The relationship with her is done, you can't change it, and being sad about definitely isn't going to help, or get you into a good space.

And you should look at it as her loss. Not yours. If you believe you're a great bloke, she's the one missing out. Not you.

Can someone please tell me why Bruce Springsteen always looks constipated?

Random.

 

[jod23]

It's going to suck for a bit but at some point you'll wake up one morning and come to terms with it.
If it gets to a real bad point don't be scared about seeing your local doctor.

I've had a few touchy moments. A lot of anxiety. Small panic attacks. Usually I just call my mum and talk to her on the phone for hours until I can chill out a bit.

Just that feeling of not being in control. Of somebody else controlling your happiness and her taking it away from you and there is just absolutely nothing you can do about it.

It's ****ing awful.

 

[pantskyle]

I've had a few touchy moments. A lot of anxiety. Small panic attacks. Usually I just call my mum and talk to her on the phone for hours until I can chill out a bit.

Just that feeling of not being in control. Of somebody else controlling your happiness and her taking it away from you and there is just absolutely nothing you can do about it.

It's ******* awful.

Go see your doctor mate or call Beyond Blue to talk to an expert.

 

[Spanish Sahara]

I have a few girls chasing me already but I just have no interest in them, even though they are pretty hot. Like I just want her... not them.




I sit there and tell myself that too. Like I poured everything into it and she just turns around after four years and really never giving us a chance and just ends it. Even after I helped her through the most difficult time in her life with the cheating husband etc.

So she's not worth me grieving over. But if I could control my feelings, or if anybody could control their feelings then life would be so much easier. But nobody can control their feelings. So im just stuck feeling the way I do.



This is what all my friends and family say. You just have to move on. But I just cant seem to. It doesnt help when I dont have a lot going on socially. All my mates I grew up with are married and families and kids so it's impossible to get the boys together.

I did have my poker nights, a different circle of friends, but she started working for the poker company so now she is there every Tues and Thurs night. So I've stopped going because it's too difficult to see her.

It's just so incredibly difficult because I'm not just losing my lover, but I'm also losing my best friend. I mean we would msg eachother constantly. 100-200 times a day. Just always in constant contact. Now nothing.

Anyways, cheers for the support lads. I was just kinda hoping for something outside the box to help me. Something more than just go out with your friends and meet someone new. That's not gonna work for me. Im just wired differently I feel. Plus she means pretty much everything to me. Ugh....

Maybe a trip overseas? Thats one way to make you to meet new people

Edit - and go and talk to someone like your GP, call beyond blue

 

[SM]

I have a few girls chasing me already but I just have no interest in them, even though they are pretty hot. Like I just want her... not them.




I sit there and tell myself that too. Like I poured everything into it and she just turns around after four years and really never giving us a chance and just ends it. Even after I helped her through the most difficult time in her life with the cheating husband etc.

So she's not worth me grieving over. But if I could control my feelings, or if anybody could control their feelings then life would be so much easier. But nobody can control their feelings. So im just stuck feeling the way I do.



This is what all my friends and family say. You just have to move on. But I just cant seem to. It doesnt help when I dont have a lot going on socially. All my mates I grew up with are married and families and kids so it's impossible to get the boys together.

I did have my poker nights, a different circle of friends, but she started working for the poker company so now she is there every Tues and Thurs night. So I've stopped going because it's too difficult to see her.

It's just so incredibly difficult because I'm not just losing my lover, but I'm also losing my best friend. I mean we would msg eachother constantly. 100-200 times a day. Just always in constant contact. Now nothing.

Anyways, cheers for the support lads. I was just kinda hoping for something outside the box to help me. Something more than just go out with your friends and meet someone new. That's not gonna work for me. Im just wired differently I feel. Plus she means pretty much everything to me. Ugh....

Yeah I do have those moments of panic when I think what would happen if my fiancee and I split up because we've become so utterly dependent on each other socially and spend so much of our time either together or talking so I can absolutely empathise with what you're going through, and all I can suggest is to find a passion or group of people to hang out with entirely separate from her. The suggestion of going on a holiday is a good shout.

 

[jod23]

Do things that make you happy. Watch football, play games, do whatever. Enjoy yourself. Life is about living. Don't spend it feeling sorry for yourself and dwelling on what's happened.

The relationship with her is done, you can't change it, and being sad about definitely isn't going to help, or get you into a good space.

And you should look at it as her loss. Not yours. If you believe you're a great bloke, she's the one missing out. Not you.


Random.

This is what I struggle with. Doing things that make me happy. I enjoy hanging out with mates. Watching football, playing poker, video games, going out to dinner or the movies etc. I do enjoy those things and I know repeatedly doing those things is good for me.

But even when im doing those things, all I think about is her, all the time. Like ALL the time.

I just cant shake it. Like people say just dont think about it. Im like.... how? How??

 

[jod23]

Go see your doctor mate or call Beyond Blue to talk to an expert.

Has anyone here ever called Beyond Blue? What's it like? What's it about?

 

[jod23]

Maybe a trip overseas? Thats one way to make you to meet new people

Edit - and go and talk to someone like your GP, call beyond blue

Yeah I do have those moments of panic when I think what would happen if my fiancee and I split up because we've become so utterly dependent on each other socially and spend so much of our time either together or talking so I can absolutely empathise with what you're going through, and all I can suggest is to find a passion or group of people to hang out with entirely separate from her. The suggestion of going on a holiday is a good shout.

It's so difficult mate. It's indescribable. Just sheer despair and helplessness. It feels like death. Like grief. It's horrible.

I've thought about a holiday. But I dont think a quick holiday would help me. 10 years or so ago when a different girl crushed my heart. I quit my job and ran off to Europe for 3 months, then ended up getting a job with Contiki while on my travels and was away from Perth for over a year. When I got back I was a lot better. Not fantastic but a lot better.

So I feel if I pack up and leave, I have to go for a long time. But that means leaving my job, my apartment, my family behind. Just when I felt like I was getting something settled with career and life.

 

[pantskyle]

Has anyone here ever called Beyond Blue? What's it like? What's it about?

I've conversed with them via an online chat, I didn't have the ability to call.
They are experts on this stuff, they'll listen and offer advice.