Mega Thread The Random Thoughts Thread Part 1

[Andre]

Zander? Lawns need to be done today.

If he ends up with a bad good girl named Anya he's done well.

 

[HugeJohnson]

So from now on I'll be making sure I watch my subway being made, to avoid a repeat of incidents like this:

I shall preface this by saying that this occurred about two weeks ago. It was a day that began like many others before it, I had awoken to blue skies and filled with enthusiasm for the day ahead. I got out of bed and got changed before making my way out to my car to head to work. A most peculiar thing happened to me as I journeyed down the stairs of the apartment complex and out to the street my car where my car had been parked for the night; I saw an orange and white cat that I had not seen before tentatively strutting the sidewalk. I immediately put this behind me and made the twenty minute journey through Adelaide to work.

It was a beautiful day, not a single cloud lay in the sky as the temperature made its way to a warm 33 degrees Celsius. All signs pointed towards the directions they pointed and there was no way I could have expected the horror that was to follow later that day. I dutifully went about my business at work, scrubbing away at pots and pans, making stocks and sauces and maintaining the kitchen - I’m a ceramic technician specialising in hydro-chemical maintenance and kitchen logistics. The day went smoothly without anything out of the ordinary happening, although I did find a slightly larger than usual carrot in the box of carrots that I had peeled.

But I digress, here’s where the day all went wrong, and I was left wondering how someone could have made such a perilous mistake as I could only sit in astonishment at what lay before me. After I finished work, I was on my way home when a slight rumble bellowed from my stomach. I took this as an indication that I was perhaps a little hungry, and resolved to find a source of nourishment on the way home, not caring to make the effort of cooking that night. I pulled my car in to a local food complex, which was very heavy but the wheels helped immensely. Before me stood the following: Dominos Pizza, Wok in a Box, Pasta a Go Go, a yiros shop, Legacy of India, Sushi, a chicken shop, and a Subway. I sat in my car for a while and began to have a mild seizure as my mind struggled with the range of food on offer. I began to go through the options one by one, comparing them as I tried to come to a final decision. I love Indian food, but it is quite expensive, and probably too messy to eat in my car and I could not guarantee they would supply cutlery for me. And so I ruled out Indian. My next plan of attack was to size up the employees, as I could see in to each shop from the security my car provided as I sat in the car park. The yiros and chicken shops had two rather large, middle aged balding men working, I ruled them out. In the end, it came down to Pasta a Go Go and Subway. Both outlets had very attractive girls working in there, although Pasta a Go Go was a lot busier and as such, there was less opportunity for my charms to be noticed. After 45 minutes of deliberation, I came to my decision, Subway it was.

It was dark now. I emerged from my car and made my way through the shadows in to the radiant light of the Subway. A smell of sandwiches filled my nostrils as I pushed open the door and was greeted by the friendly workers behind the counter. How deceptive this would prove to be as I unwrapped my sandwich later. I made my way to the counter and proceeded to order the same Sub I get every other time I go to Subway. I started with a footlong Italian Herbs and Cheese bread, with a pizza topping. I was watching at this stage, and so far there was nothing out of the ordinary about this experience. I topped this with some Old English cheese and patiently waited as the girl toasted my sub, checking out the surroundings I had found myself in. It was a small shop, with a small set up of about four tables and chairs for dining in, with a fridge of refreshments located alongside the counter. As I waited for my sandwich to be toasted, I wandered over to the fridge and retrieved for myself a Mango Iced Tea, to both moisten my gullet and also to wash down my dinner with. I was the only customer in the shop at this point, which is important to note. Before long I heard a loud beeping sound and was immediately alerted to the fact my sub had completed the toasting process and I was ready to continue my order. I was asked what salads I was after on my sandwich, to which I replied: Lettuce, capsicum, spinach and onion. A most extravagant combination indeed. I had now stopped watching the employee make my sub and consequently had made the mistake that would ultimately lead to the horror I was about to unwrap when I got back to my car. To finish off the sub, I requested a Hot Chilli sauce and a sprinkling of salt and pepper to bring out maximum flavour. I now waited at the till as she wrapped up my dinner. I paid via cash, as I had recently lost my debit card after a night of heavy alcohol consumption, now having to resort to the Neanderthal methods of physical money transactions. I handed over a 20 dollar note and waited for her to calculate the change before making my way out of the store and back to my car, eagerly anticipating what I thought was going to be a straightforward, delicious meal.

I remember it all so clearly. I opened my door and sunk in to my seat, sub placed in my lap and my Mango Iced Tea sat in the drink holder at my side at the ready. I licked my lips in eagerness and excitement and slowly and carefully removed the first layer of wrapping. I could smell the sandwich scent emanating profusely from under the final layer of wrapping. It was at this point that I decided to moisten my gullet, undergoing final preparations for sandwich consumption. I removed the lid and took two medium sized sips, satisfied with the flavour and coolness of the beverage. I replaced the lid back on the bottle and put it back in the cup holder, finally ready to reveal my Sub. I pulled out the corner of the packaging and screamed in a combination of shock, horror and bemusement at what lay before me in my lap. There sat a footlong Subway Pizza Sub but with one point of difference from any footlong I had previously ordered. She had not cut the sub in half, and as such I was now faced with the daunting task of either attempting to eat the sub as a whole footlong, balancing the bread and preventing any loss of ingredients due to the awkward nature of handling an uncut footlong sub, or finding some way to split the sandwich in to two 6 inch subs myself. From my car, I stared through the subway window at the girl who had made my sub and cursed under my breath. I considered going back in there and informing her of her mistake but resolved to take matters in to my own hands. With a mighty heave, I ripped the sub in to perfect halves using only my bare hands. I had defeated the conspiring subway girl and emerged the victor in this battle. But if there is anything I have learned from the experience, it’s that I’ll never take my eyes off my sub from now on at any time I go to a Subway.

 

[Hooligan87]

TL;DR

 

[Powerstufff]

If he ends up with a bad good girl named Anya he's done well.

Who of us can't say that?

 

[Duck Farmer]

snip

Spoiler

He forgot to order the cookies.

 

[_VXV]

So from now on I'll be making sure I watch my subway being made, to avoid a repeat of incidents like this:

I shall preface this by saying that this occurred about two weeks ago. It was a day that began like many others before it, I had awoken to blue skies and filled with enthusiasm for the day ahead. I got out of bed and got changed before making my way out to my car to head to work. A most peculiar thing happened to me as I journeyed down the stairs of the apartment complex and out to the street my car where my car had been parked for the night; I saw an orange and white cat that I had not seen before tentatively strutting the sidewalk. I immediately put this behind me and made the twenty minute journey through Adelaide to work.

It was a beautiful day, not a single cloud lay in the sky as the temperature made its way to a warm 33 degrees Celsius. All signs pointed towards the directions they pointed and there was no way I could have expected the horror that was to follow later that day. I dutifully went about my business at work, scrubbing away at pots and pans, making stocks and sauces and maintaining the kitchen - I’m a ceramic technician specialising in hydro-chemical maintenance and kitchen logistics. The day went smoothly without anything out of the ordinary happening, although I did find a slightly larger than usual carrot in the box of carrots that I had peeled.

But I digress, here’s where the day all went wrong, and I was left wondering how someone could have made such a perilous mistake as I could only sit in astonishment at what lay before me. After I finished work, I was on my way home when a slight rumble bellowed from my stomach. I took this as an indication that I was perhaps a little hungry, and resolved to find a source of nourishment on the way home, not caring to make the effort of cooking that night. I pulled my car in to a local food complex, which was very heavy but the wheels helped immensely. Before me stood the following: Dominos Pizza, Wok in a Box, Pasta a Go Go, a yiros shop, Legacy of India, Sushi, a chicken shop, and a Subway. I sat in my car for a while and began to have a mild seizure as my mind struggled with the range of food on offer. I began to go through the options one by one, comparing them as I tried to come to a final decision. I love Indian food, but it is quite expensive, and probably too messy to eat in my car and I could not guarantee they would supply cutlery for me. And so I ruled out Indian. My next plan of attack was to size up the employees, as I could see in to each shop from the security my car provided as I sat in the car park. The yiros and chicken shops had two rather large, middle aged balding men working, I ruled them out. In the end, it came down to Pasta a Go Go and Subway. Both outlets had very attractive girls working in there, although Pasta a Go Go was a lot busier and as such, there was less opportunity for my charms to be noticed. After 45 minutes of deliberation, I came to my decision, Subway it was.

It was dark now. I emerged from my car and made my way through the shadows in to the radiant light of the Subway. A smell of sandwiches filled my nostrils as I pushed open the door and was greeted by the friendly workers behind the counter. How deceptive this would prove to be as I unwrapped my sandwich later. I made my way to the counter and proceeded to order the same Sub I get every other time I go to Subway. I started with a footlong Italian Herbs and Cheese bread, with a pizza topping. I was watching at this stage, and so far there was nothing out of the ordinary about this experience. I topped this with some Old English cheese and patiently waited as the girl toasted my sub, checking out the surroundings I had found myself in. It was a small shop, with a small set up of about four tables and chairs for dining in, with a fridge of refreshments located alongside the counter. As I waited for my sandwich to be toasted, I wandered over to the fridge and retrieved for myself a Mango Iced Tea, to both moisten my gullet and also to wash down my dinner with. I was the only customer in the shop at this point, which is important to note. Before long I heard a loud beeping sound and was immediately alerted to the fact my sub had completed the toasting process and I was ready to continue my order. I was asked what salads I was after on my sandwich, to which I replied: Lettuce, capsicum, spinach and onion. A most extravagant combination indeed. I had now stopped watching the employee make my sub and consequently had made the mistake that would ultimately lead to the horror I was about to unwrap when I got back to my car. To finish off the sub, I requested a Hot Chilli sauce and a sprinkling of salt and pepper to bring out maximum flavour. I now waited at the till as she wrapped up my dinner. I paid via cash, as I had recently lost my debit card after a night of heavy alcohol consumption, now having to resort to the Neanderthal methods of physical money transactions. I handed over a 20 dollar note and waited for her to calculate the change before making my way out of the store and back to my car, eagerly anticipating what I thought was going to be a straightforward, delicious meal.

I remember it all so clearly. I opened my door and sunk in to my seat, sub placed in my lap and my Mango Iced Tea sat in the drink holder at my side at the ready. I licked my lips in eagerness and excitement and slowly and carefully removed the first layer of wrapping. I could smell the sandwich scent emanating profusely from under the final layer of wrapping. It was at this point that I decided to moisten my gullet, undergoing final preparations for sandwich consumption. I removed the lid and took two medium sized sips, satisfied with the flavour and coolness of the beverage. I replaced the lid back on the bottle and put it back in the cup holder, finally ready to reveal my Sub. I pulled out the corner of the packaging and screamed in a combination of shock, horror and bemusement at what lay before me in my lap. There sat a footlong Subway Pizza Sub but with one point of difference from any footlong I had previously ordered. She had not cut the sub in half, and as such I was now faced with the daunting task of either attempting to eat the sub as a whole footlong, balancing the bread and preventing any loss of ingredients due to the awkward nature of handling an uncut footlong sub, or finding some way to split the sandwich in to two 6 inch subs myself. From my car, I stared through the subway window at the girl who had made my sub and cursed under my breath. I considered going back in there and informing her of her mistake but resolved to take matters in to my own hands. With a mighty heave, I ripped the sub in to perfect halves using only my bare hands. I had defeated the conspiring subway girl and emerged the victor in this battle. But if there is anything I have learned from the experience, it’s that I’ll never take my eyes off my sub from now on at any time I go to a Subway.

Baldist.
You get what you deserve.

 

[I Dont Care]

I don't have enough faith in my attention span to read HugeJohnson's post

 

[Dylan8]

I don't have enough faith in my attention span to read HugeJohnson's post

It's definitely worth it.

 

[I Dont Care]

I wonder who'll be making it, Bethesda Game Studios will have all their eggs in Fallout 4 basket for quite a while and Bethesda's next big game is Doom which iirc is coming out in Q2 2016.

Maybe 2017 E3 we might get an announcement on the Elder Scrolls game.

There are many studios under the Bethesda umbrella, Bethesda Softworks are the publishing arm and Bethesda Game Studios were/are the developers of Fallout 3, Skyrim, and Fallout 4 while Obsidian made New Vegas and Doom is being made by another arm.

 

[Dalfino]

ESO is always there.

Yeah I've actually been considering picking it up over the long summer holidays to kill a few hours, but I don't exactly have a 'gaming standard' computer to run it on and unfortunately it doesn't support the Wii U...

 

[PepeSilvia]

So from now on I'll be making sure I watch my subway being made, to avoid a repeat of incidents like this:

I shall preface this by saying that this occurred about two weeks ago. It was a day that began like many others before it, I had awoken to blue skies and filled with enthusiasm for the day ahead. I got out of bed and got changed before making my way out to my car to head to work. A most peculiar thing happened to me as I journeyed down the stairs of the apartment complex and out to the street my car where my car had been parked for the night; I saw an orange and white cat that I had not seen before tentatively strutting the sidewalk. I immediately put this behind me and made the twenty minute journey through Adelaide to work.

It was a beautiful day, not a single cloud lay in the sky as the temperature made its way to a warm 33 degrees Celsius. All signs pointed towards the directions they pointed and there was no way I could have expected the horror that was to follow later that day. I dutifully went about my business at work, scrubbing away at pots and pans, making stocks and sauces and maintaining the kitchen - I’m a ceramic technician specialising in hydro-chemical maintenance and kitchen logistics. The day went smoothly without anything out of the ordinary happening, although I did find a slightly larger than usual carrot in the box of carrots that I had peeled.

But I digress, here’s where the day all went wrong, and I was left wondering how someone could have made such a perilous mistake as I could only sit in astonishment at what lay before me. After I finished work, I was on my way home when a slight rumble bellowed from my stomach. I took this as an indication that I was perhaps a little hungry, and resolved to find a source of nourishment on the way home, not caring to make the effort of cooking that night. I pulled my car in to a local food complex, which was very heavy but the wheels helped immensely. Before me stood the following: Dominos Pizza, Wok in a Box, Pasta a Go Go, a yiros shop, Legacy of India, Sushi, a chicken shop, and a Subway. I sat in my car for a while and began to have a mild seizure as my mind struggled with the range of food on offer. I began to go through the options one by one, comparing them as I tried to come to a final decision. I love Indian food, but it is quite expensive, and probably too messy to eat in my car and I could not guarantee they would supply cutlery for me. And so I ruled out Indian. My next plan of attack was to size up the employees, as I could see in to each shop from the security my car provided as I sat in the car park. The yiros and chicken shops had two rather large, middle aged balding men working, I ruled them out. In the end, it came down to Pasta a Go Go and Subway. Both outlets had very attractive girls working in there, although Pasta a Go Go was a lot busier and as such, there was less opportunity for my charms to be noticed. After 45 minutes of deliberation, I came to my decision, Subway it was.

It was dark now. I emerged from my car and made my way through the shadows in to the radiant light of the Subway. A smell of sandwiches filled my nostrils as I pushed open the door and was greeted by the friendly workers behind the counter. How deceptive this would prove to be as I unwrapped my sandwich later. I made my way to the counter and proceeded to order the same Sub I get every other time I go to Subway. I started with a footlong Italian Herbs and Cheese bread, with a pizza topping. I was watching at this stage, and so far there was nothing out of the ordinary about this experience. I topped this with some Old English cheese and patiently waited as the girl toasted my sub, checking out the surroundings I had found myself in. It was a small shop, with a small set up of about four tables and chairs for dining in, with a fridge of refreshments located alongside the counter. As I waited for my sandwich to be toasted, I wandered over to the fridge and retrieved for myself a Mango Iced Tea, to both moisten my gullet and also to wash down my dinner with. I was the only customer in the shop at this point, which is important to note. Before long I heard a loud beeping sound and was immediately alerted to the fact my sub had completed the toasting process and I was ready to continue my order. I was asked what salads I was after on my sandwich, to which I replied: Lettuce, capsicum, spinach and onion. A most extravagant combination indeed. I had now stopped watching the employee make my sub and consequently had made the mistake that would ultimately lead to the horror I was about to unwrap when I got back to my car. To finish off the sub, I requested a Hot Chilli sauce and a sprinkling of salt and pepper to bring out maximum flavour. I now waited at the till as she wrapped up my dinner. I paid via cash, as I had recently lost my debit card after a night of heavy alcohol consumption, now having to resort to the Neanderthal methods of physical money transactions. I handed over a 20 dollar note and waited for her to calculate the change before making my way out of the store and back to my car, eagerly anticipating what I thought was going to be a straightforward, delicious meal.

I remember it all so clearly. I opened my door and sunk in to my seat, sub placed in my lap and my Mango Iced Tea sat in the drink holder at my side at the ready. I licked my lips in eagerness and excitement and slowly and carefully removed the first layer of wrapping. I could smell the sandwich scent emanating profusely from under the final layer of wrapping. It was at this point that I decided to moisten my gullet, undergoing final preparations for sandwich consumption. I removed the lid and took two medium sized sips, satisfied with the flavour and coolness of the beverage. I replaced the lid back on the bottle and put it back in the cup holder, finally ready to reveal my Sub. I pulled out the corner of the packaging and screamed in a combination of shock, horror and bemusement at what lay before me in my lap. There sat a footlong Subway Pizza Sub but with one point of difference from any footlong I had previously ordered. She had not cut the sub in half, and as such I was now faced with the daunting task of either attempting to eat the sub as a whole footlong, balancing the bread and preventing any loss of ingredients due to the awkward nature of handling an uncut footlong sub, or finding some way to split the sandwich in to two 6 inch subs myself. From my car, I stared through the subway window at the girl who had made my sub and cursed under my breath. I considered going back in there and informing her of her mistake but resolved to take matters in to my own hands. With a mighty heave, I ripped the sub in to perfect halves using only my bare hands. I had defeated the conspiring subway girl and emerged the victor in this battle. But if there is anything I have learned from the experience, it’s that I’ll never take my eyes off my sub from now on at any time I go to a Subway.

M8, if you're talking about the place just down the road from 1st Choice on Unley Road, you should've had the yiros.

Also, I think the girl didn't cut your sandwich on purpose, so that you'd have to come back into the store. I'm sure there's some sort of footlong joke I can make here...

 

[I Dont Care]

It's definitely worth it.

OK. You sold me, I did read. And now...now I want a Subway

 

[I Dont Care]

M8, if you're talking about the place just down the road from 1st Choice on Unley Road, you should've had the yiros.

Also, I think the girl didn't cut your sandwich on purpose, so that you'd have to come back into the store. I'm sure there's some sort of footlong joke I can make here...

His username give it away?

 

[Dalfino]

So from now on I'll be making sure I watch my subway being made, to avoid a repeat of incidents like this:

I shall preface this by saying that this occurred about two weeks ago. It was a day that began like many others before it, I had awoken to blue skies and filled with enthusiasm for the day ahead. I got out of bed and got changed before making my way out to my car to head to work. A most peculiar thing happened to me as I journeyed down the stairs of the apartment complex and out to the street my car where my car had been parked for the night; I saw an orange and white cat that I had not seen before tentatively strutting the sidewalk. I immediately put this behind me and made the twenty minute journey through Adelaide to work.

It was a beautiful day, not a single cloud lay in the sky as the temperature made its way to a warm 33 degrees Celsius. All signs pointed towards the directions they pointed and there was no way I could have expected the horror that was to follow later that day. I dutifully went about my business at work, scrubbing away at pots and pans, making stocks and sauces and maintaining the kitchen - I’m a ceramic technician specialising in hydro-chemical maintenance and kitchen logistics. The day went smoothly without anything out of the ordinary happening, although I did find a slightly larger than usual carrot in the box of carrots that I had peeled.

But I digress, here’s where the day all went wrong, and I was left wondering how someone could have made such a perilous mistake as I could only sit in astonishment at what lay before me. After I finished work, I was on my way home when a slight rumble bellowed from my stomach. I took this as an indication that I was perhaps a little hungry, and resolved to find a source of nourishment on the way home, not caring to make the effort of cooking that night. I pulled my car in to a local food complex, which was very heavy but the wheels helped immensely. Before me stood the following: Dominos Pizza, Wok in a Box, Pasta a Go Go, a yiros shop, Legacy of India, Sushi, a chicken shop, and a Subway. I sat in my car for a while and began to have a mild seizure as my mind struggled with the range of food on offer. I began to go through the options one by one, comparing them as I tried to come to a final decision. I love Indian food, but it is quite expensive, and probably too messy to eat in my car and I could not guarantee they would supply cutlery for me. And so I ruled out Indian. My next plan of attack was to size up the employees, as I could see in to each shop from the security my car provided as I sat in the car park. The yiros and chicken shops had two rather large, middle aged balding men working, I ruled them out. In the end, it came down to Pasta a Go Go and Subway. Both outlets had very attractive girls working in there, although Pasta a Go Go was a lot busier and as such, there was less opportunity for my charms to be noticed. After 45 minutes of deliberation, I came to my decision, Subway it was.

It was dark now. I emerged from my car and made my way through the shadows in to the radiant light of the Subway. A smell of sandwiches filled my nostrils as I pushed open the door and was greeted by the friendly workers behind the counter. How deceptive this would prove to be as I unwrapped my sandwich later. I made my way to the counter and proceeded to order the same Sub I get every other time I go to Subway. I started with a footlong Italian Herbs and Cheese bread, with a pizza topping. I was watching at this stage, and so far there was nothing out of the ordinary about this experience. I topped this with some Old English cheese and patiently waited as the girl toasted my sub, checking out the surroundings I had found myself in. It was a small shop, with a small set up of about four tables and chairs for dining in, with a fridge of refreshments located alongside the counter. As I waited for my sandwich to be toasted, I wandered over to the fridge and retrieved for myself a Mango Iced Tea, to both moisten my gullet and also to wash down my dinner with. I was the only customer in the shop at this point, which is important to note. Before long I heard a loud beeping sound and was immediately alerted to the fact my sub had completed the toasting process and I was ready to continue my order. I was asked what salads I was after on my sandwich, to which I replied: Lettuce, capsicum, spinach and onion. A most extravagant combination indeed. I had now stopped watching the employee make my sub and consequently had made the mistake that would ultimately lead to the horror I was about to unwrap when I got back to my car. To finish off the sub, I requested a Hot Chilli sauce and a sprinkling of salt and pepper to bring out maximum flavour. I now waited at the till as she wrapped up my dinner. I paid via cash, as I had recently lost my debit card after a night of heavy alcohol consumption, now having to resort to the Neanderthal methods of physical money transactions. I handed over a 20 dollar note and waited for her to calculate the change before making my way out of the store and back to my car, eagerly anticipating what I thought was going to be a straightforward, delicious meal.

I remember it all so clearly. I opened my door and sunk in to my seat, sub placed in my lap and my Mango Iced Tea sat in the drink holder at my side at the ready. I licked my lips in eagerness and excitement and slowly and carefully removed the first layer of wrapping. I could smell the sandwich scent emanating profusely from under the final layer of wrapping. It was at this point that I decided to moisten my gullet, undergoing final preparations for sandwich consumption. I removed the lid and took two medium sized sips, satisfied with the flavour and coolness of the beverage. I replaced the lid back on the bottle and put it back in the cup holder, finally ready to reveal my Sub. I pulled out the corner of the packaging and screamed in a combination of shock, horror and bemusement at what lay before me in my lap. There sat a footlong Subway Pizza Sub but with one point of difference from any footlong I had previously ordered. She had not cut the sub in half, and as such I was now faced with the daunting task of either attempting to eat the sub as a whole footlong, balancing the bread and preventing any loss of ingredients due to the awkward nature of handling an uncut footlong sub, or finding some way to split the sandwich in to two 6 inch subs myself. From my car, I stared through the subway window at the girl who had made my sub and cursed under my breath. I considered going back in there and informing her of her mistake but resolved to take matters in to my own hands. With a mighty heave, I ripped the sub in to perfect halves using only my bare hands. I had defeated the conspiring subway girl and emerged the victor in this battle. But if there is anything I have learned from the experience, it’s that I’ll never take my eyes off my sub from now on at any time I go to a Subway.

As I was reading this I made many guesses as to what the final outcome could be - finding a cockroach in your sandwich, too much chilli sauce, accidental mix-up of ingredients, the girl being a crows supporter - I was eagerly anticipating any of these outcomes, but dear god, it was much worse than I could have ever imagined. 10/10 would read again.

 

[Byrons Firen]

He loves the Stones.

You bet he does


one of my all time favourites(amongst the many they did) is

 

[Stromageddon]

Lmao Americans and how they date things is so stupid. Like, today, for example, is 10/10/15 not 10/10/15 lmao. Amirite?

Ftfm

 

[Hooligan87]

Yeah I've actually been considering picking it up over the long summer holidays to kill a few hours, but I don't exactly have a 'gaming standard' computer to run it on and unfortunately it doesn't support the Wii U...

Wii U master race!!!

 

[bacharach]

As I was reading this I made many guesses as to what the final outcome could be - finding a cockroach in your sandwich, too much chilli sauce, accidental mix-up of ingredients, the girl being a crows supporter - I was eagerly anticipating any of these outcomes, but dear god, it was much worse than I could have ever imagined. 10/10 would read again.

My money was on an excess quantity of jalapeños.

 

[Grave Danger]

Dean Canto's car on pole at Bath Hurst

 

[RussellEbertHandball]

Serious one on Toumpas. Did he pick the Jimmy nickname or everything 'had to be' Anglolised? Anyone have a clue?

You dont know too many Greeks do you? Jimmy is a pretty standard anglosised version. Never heard of Jimmy the Greek used? My Greek mate is Eric and his proper name is nothing like that.

 

[NoddyHolder]

So from now on I'll be making sure I watch my subway being made, to avoid a repeat of incidents like this:

I shall preface this by saying that this occurred about two weeks ago. It was a day that began like many others before it, I had awoken to blue skies and filled with enthusiasm for the day ahead. I got out of bed and got changed before making my way out to my car to head to work. A most peculiar thing happened to me as I journeyed down the stairs of the apartment complex and out to the street my car where my car had been parked for the night; I saw an orange and white cat that I had not seen before tentatively strutting the sidewalk. I immediately put this behind me and made the twenty minute journey through Adelaide to work.

It was a beautiful day, not a single cloud lay in the sky as the temperature made its way to a warm 33 degrees Celsius. All signs pointed towards the directions they pointed and there was no way I could have expected the horror that was to follow later that day. I dutifully went about my business at work, scrubbing away at pots and pans, making stocks and sauces and maintaining the kitchen - I’m a ceramic technician specialising in hydro-chemical maintenance and kitchen logistics. The day went smoothly without anything out of the ordinary happening, although I did find a slightly larger than usual carrot in the box of carrots that I had peeled.

But I digress, here’s where the day all went wrong, and I was left wondering how someone could have made such a perilous mistake as I could only sit in astonishment at what lay before me. After I finished work, I was on my way home when a slight rumble bellowed from my stomach. I took this as an indication that I was perhaps a little hungry, and resolved to find a source of nourishment on the way home, not caring to make the effort of cooking that night. I pulled my car in to a local food complex, which was very heavy but the wheels helped immensely. Before me stood the following: Dominos Pizza, Wok in a Box, Pasta a Go Go, a yiros shop, Legacy of India, Sushi, a chicken shop, and a Subway. I sat in my car for a while and began to have a mild seizure as my mind struggled with the range of food on offer. I began to go through the options one by one, comparing them as I tried to come to a final decision. I love Indian food, but it is quite expensive, and probably too messy to eat in my car and I could not guarantee they would supply cutlery for me. And so I ruled out Indian. My next plan of attack was to size up the employees, as I could see in to each shop from the security my car provided as I sat in the car park. The yiros and chicken shops had two rather large, middle aged balding men working, I ruled them out. In the end, it came down to Pasta a Go Go and Subway. Both outlets had very attractive girls working in there, although Pasta a Go Go was a lot busier and as such, there was less opportunity for my charms to be noticed. After 45 minutes of deliberation, I came to my decision, Subway it was.

It was dark now. I emerged from my car and made my way through the shadows in to the radiant light of the Subway. A smell of sandwiches filled my nostrils as I pushed open the door and was greeted by the friendly workers behind the counter. How deceptive this would prove to be as I unwrapped my sandwich later. I made my way to the counter and proceeded to order the same Sub I get every other time I go to Subway. I started with a footlong Italian Herbs and Cheese bread, with a pizza topping. I was watching at this stage, and so far there was nothing out of the ordinary about this experience. I topped this with some Old English cheese and patiently waited as the girl toasted my sub, checking out the surroundings I had found myself in. It was a small shop, with a small set up of about four tables and chairs for dining in, with a fridge of refreshments located alongside the counter. As I waited for my sandwich to be toasted, I wandered over to the fridge and retrieved for myself a Mango Iced Tea, to both moisten my gullet and also to wash down my dinner with. I was the only customer in the shop at this point, which is important to note. Before long I heard a loud beeping sound and was immediately alerted to the fact my sub had completed the toasting process and I was ready to continue my order. I was asked what salads I was after on my sandwich, to which I replied: Lettuce, capsicum, spinach and onion. A most extravagant combination indeed. I had now stopped watching the employee make my sub and consequently had made the mistake that would ultimately lead to the horror I was about to unwrap when I got back to my car. To finish off the sub, I requested a Hot Chilli sauce and a sprinkling of salt and pepper to bring out maximum flavour. I now waited at the till as she wrapped up my dinner. I paid via cash, as I had recently lost my debit card after a night of heavy alcohol consumption, now having to resort to the Neanderthal methods of physical money transactions. I handed over a 20 dollar note and waited for her to calculate the change before making my way out of the store and back to my car, eagerly anticipating what I thought was going to be a straightforward, delicious meal.

I remember it all so clearly. I opened my door and sunk in to my seat, sub placed in my lap and my Mango Iced Tea sat in the drink holder at my side at the ready. I licked my lips in eagerness and excitement and slowly and carefully removed the first layer of wrapping. I could smell the sandwich scent emanating profusely from under the final layer of wrapping. It was at this point that I decided to moisten my gullet, undergoing final preparations for sandwich consumption. I removed the lid and took two medium sized sips, satisfied with the flavour and coolness of the beverage. I replaced the lid back on the bottle and put it back in the cup holder, finally ready to reveal my Sub. I pulled out the corner of the packaging and screamed in a combination of shock, horror and bemusement at what lay before me in my lap. There sat a footlong Subway Pizza Sub but with one point of difference from any footlong I had previously ordered. She had not cut the sub in half, and as such I was now faced with the daunting task of either attempting to eat the sub as a whole footlong, balancing the bread and preventing any loss of ingredients due to the awkward nature of handling an uncut footlong sub, or finding some way to split the sandwich in to two 6 inch subs myself. From my car, I stared through the subway window at the girl who had made my sub and cursed under my breath. I considered going back in there and informing her of her mistake but resolved to take matters in to my own hands. With a mighty heave, I ripped the sub in to perfect halves using only my bare hands. I had defeated the conspiring subway girl and emerged the victor in this battle. But if there is anything I have learned from the experience, it’s that I’ll never take my eyes off my sub from now on at any time I go to a Subway.

If you're in year 8 - B-
If you're in year 10 - C-
If you're in year 12 - English is not for you.

 

[HugeJohnson]

If you're in year 8 - B-
If you're in year 10 - C-
If you're in year 12 - English is not for you.

your*

 

[Andy_B]

Dean Canto's car on pole at Bath Hurst

from pussy wagon to pole

 

[Powerstufff]

... everything 'had to be' Anglolised ...

.... a pretty standard angolised version .....

Anglolised/angolised?

 

[Boss351]

He was Jimmy when he was playing U8s, would have been foresighted. His brother's first name didn't require being Anglicised but was Australianised i.e. if it was Robert he'd have become Bob.

if we don't end up with Jimmy Toumpas or god forbid he ends up at the Camry's he will end up known as Dimitri Pompous