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Roast The Unofficial Marijuana Discussion (...Depression Thread? What?)

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Download podcasts and go for a walk.

I LOVE Hamish and Andy. You know why? Because they played a big part in saving me.

When I was down, all I did was lie in bed and laugh to their podcasts.

There are podcasts for anything and everything these days. Find some that you like, download a whole bunch, or even an audiobook, and go for a walk.
 
Tempest said:
Thanks mate that post actually made me smile. It's hard dealing with her a lot of the time, She was raised to think that every problem can be sorted out on your own and maybe that's possible for her but not for me in this state.
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I am very glad that I put a smile on your face:D:thumbsu:
 
Tempest said:
Well we went do the Dr and she prescribed Me aropax
The condition was that only my mum is to give it to me due to my 'suicidal tendencies'

My mum asked the Dr if she could commit me to a mental hospital and I butted in saying nope that's totally my choice otherwise you have to take me to court for it.
The Dr agreed

We get in the car and she starts her crap again 'ok you're not coming back home with me I'll take you either to the hospital or your grandparents house'
I guess she didn't like how I knew more than her about the mental hospital stuff....

I said ok let me go home and get my stuff.
I tried to milk the situation when I got home but she tore up the prescription for aropax and said if i wanted anything it's out of her hands now

So I have until the end of today to leave otherwise she's going to call the police to get me forcefully removed
I'm just giving my room a good clean out now so it's easier for her to manage when I'm gone
Then I dunno what I will do. I think my time might be coming to an end
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Yeah - Leaving be a very good idea. You Mum sounds like she is making it worse for you and Leaving might be a good thing for you.

Hopefully your GrandParents be lot better help for you
 
TradeDraft said:
Yeah - Leaving be a very good idea. You Mum sounds like she is making it worse for you and Leaving might be a good thing for you.

Hopefully your GrandParents be lot better help for you
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It is similar to a situation close to me. His mother may have her own issues/concerns and unfortunately for for Tempest, he is wearing the brunt of her own pain/concerns.

A change of atmosphere (albeit the big spacious mother's house) is not a bad idea. After all, Grandparents are usually more sympathetic :)
 

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Yeah agree with others. If your mum is standing in the way of recommendations from your doctor and not conducive to you getting better, then I agree head to your Grandmothers and give yourself some time.

If you get your prescriptions and start taking the drugs than hopefully in a few weeks you start to get better and look at some options which might present in that time.

Take it easy mate, grab some tunes or podcasts (not SCPaige though) and head out for a bit. It might not look like it but you are making good progress IMO. Good stuff.
 
NT.Thunder said:
Yeah agree with others. If your mum is standing in the way of recommendations from your doctor and not conducive to you getting better, then I agree head to your Grandmothers and give yourself some time.

If you get your prescriptions and start taking the drugs than hopefully in a few weeks you start to get better and look at some options which might present in that time.

Take it easy mate, grab some tunes or podcasts (not SCPaige though) and head out for a bit. It might not look like it but you are making good progress IMO. Good stuff.
Click to expand...

What is so bad about that Podcast? NT.Thunder
 
Tempest, you're often in my thoughts. It's great to see everyone on here doing their best to support you. I hope you feel the love. I've just watched this and thought you'd find it interesting. It's Niall Breslin taking about depression. He's described as "a famous musician, a producer, a former footballer, good-looking, smart, and an all-around nice guy." He certainly has lovely lips.
http://www.upworthy.com/why-so-many...too-afraid-to-admit?g=2&c=ufb2&fb_ref=Default
 
[you write very well. this has been edited. If it's
true: that's your way out. Write.
"ThisIsJake, post: 33621993, member: 150378"]I have depression, and i thought people would think i'm nuts if i came out with it. But eventually i told a few people close to me and got onto a psychiatrist(i too had suicidal thoughts), you would be shocked at how many people have these problems and don't talk about them, i still can't tell most people but just having one or two people is huge.

and after a few Psychiatrists/physiologists i found one that was great to talk to and bloody oath has it helped.

I would strongly suggest staying with your grandparents and talking to them about this stuff, if you would feel guilty about staying there for free i'm sure they would understand that you are going through a tough time and you could pay them back in the long run when your life is on track. even if it means giving up your stuff for now, because that can always be earned back but you have to prioritise getting your life back on track at the moment. if your mums rent was gone plus the extra money from cutting out gambling hopefully you would be able to finish your course and pursue a career.

you need a goal, think about a goal and everything you do, every step you take needs to be towards that.[/QUOTE]
y
Tempest said:
My life really sucks at the moment, I have just turned 20 a few months ago and it feels like I'm going nowhere.

I work in a low skilled job and live at home with my 13 year old brother and abusive mother and it feels like all she wants is my money.
My father passed away when I was 8 after having no real connection with me.

I left school at the end of Year 11 to pursue a career in IT. I've completed my Certificate II in Computer Assembly and was halfway through an Advanced Diploma in Computer Engineering when my life really hit a turning point, I was struggling to do to the work assigned to me during my course because my mum forced me to get a job and to pay my way.

Working 2 days a week was just not enough for me to sustain my life at home, I also wanted all the luxuries of being able to eat whatever I wanted and to buy whatever I wanted as well, As it feels to me like If I am working then I should at least see some benefit from it, so I started working 3 days ; but because of this work it felt like a real struggle for me to do 3 days of work and manage my TAFE course as well, as the teachers were not particularly helpful. If I missed a day of class due to work commitments then it was "Too bad, Use google to answer your questions, you didn't come to my class so I cannot help you"
I ended up not going back to TAFE at the start of this year, with the course unfinished, and I've been working 4 days a week ever since.

My job is extremely repetitive and tedious, It's not something that I want to do for the rest of my life, and If I end up doing so then I have become a failure as a human being.
If I had to say something that I did like about it then it would be the casual environment and decent people involved (Aside from one person who I will get into later)

I often regularly have fights with my mother, she has anger management issues and anxiety, and my brother might have some form of autism based on the way he acts.

I look very much like my father who has given my mother a lot of grief in the past, he was a drug user and abused my mother many times before he passed away.
Me and my mother have never seen eye-to-eye with each other since I was in High school as that was a very troubling time for me, I was hanging out with the wrong crowd, skipping school and not doing homework.
We would always argue when I wasn't doing my homework, and it would escalate to the point where she would come upstairs, bang my door down and start to abuse me physically.

Obviously every time she did this she would threaten that if I did any thing back to her then she would call the police.
I don't like conflict, so I'd always dealt with it by running away, at one point she kicked me out of the house after midnight and If it wasn't for my girlfriend at the time I would have slept on the driveway.

I've tried to right my wrongs by attending this course and completely cutting contact with the bad people I hung out with in high school, but unfortunately that has left me with not a single friend.
All the people that I thought were decent in High School have either left me or I've left them.

These days my brother constantly tries to get me in trouble, if I as much as talk to him these days then there is an issue. It feels like my mum always takes his side of the story 100% of the time because he is the younger sibling, I've been reduced to the point where I cannot talk to him any more.
I am very much like my father and this pains my mother to see as she just want's to unleash all her hate out on me.

I've recently had a falling out with my supervisor at work, She believes that my attitude towards her is wrong, as she is the leader she believes I am in no position to question what she makes me do.
I've had a few incidents where I've spoken back to her, simply because I don't agree with her methods of doing things, and it's ended up in full blown arguments where the boss has had to get involved.

I've not spoken to my mother at all in the last 2 weeks even though we have been living in the same household.
The last time I spoke to her I had explained to her that I was in an argument with my supervisor at work and she told me "It's your fault, you can't get along with anyone, just look at yourself in the mirror you piece of shit"
I know it's not true, as I can get along with everyone at work bar my supervisor just fine.
However after that I ended up getting very drunk that night at my uncle's place, and called her telling her that I hated her guts. She told me that she has removed me from her will and doesn't want anything to do with me.
I had to beg to her that it's obvious I can't move out of home as I don't have a cent to my name.

Financially things are very hard to me, I get paid fortnightly and I'm blowing all of my money within the first 3 days of getting paid. I pay my mother the $200 she needs for me to stay at home (even though she hasn't done shit for me the last two weeks), I also pay for my phone plan $50, Petrol $100, and also paying off my $18,000 car. About $14,000 is already paid off, because I had a trust fund set up when my father died, but unfortunately a lot of my money was taken out by my mother before I turned 18 because I didn't realize it was legal for her to be doing that, and I have no idea where this money went. (Most likely to pay off my mothers house which apparently isn't mine any more)

With the rest of the money I get I have been gambling it away as I hate my current lifestyle and just want to get away. I'm trying to do whatever I can to get rich quick, and deep in my mind I know it's a losers game but I can't stop because I just think "Who the hell cares anyway? Surely not me"
Horse racing, Blackjack, Tattslotto, Pokies, AFL betting, you name it. It's taking my money away.

If I need any money during the rest of the fortnight, I am often getting handouts from my fathers family just to compensate for my problems.

Last Friday I thought it was the final straw at my workplace as I had yet another incident with my supervisor, she told me that "If this was my company you'd have been gone a long time ago, so you better watch your back as I've been telling the boss every time you get on my nerves and you're on a fine line here"

It made me feel physically sick as I'd known I'd done nothing wrong, she's just had it in for me for a long time now.

Friday night felt like I had almost hit rock bottom, No education, nobody to rely on, and it felt like pretty sure I was going to lose my job.
If I lose my job I lose everything, I won't be able to pay for my car, I won't be able to live at home, etc.

I was driving home from work and thinking Okay if this is it then I want to go now, I don't want to hit rock bottom. I quickly accelerated to 120km/h on the freeway and closed my eyes hoping that i'd hit something. After 5 seconds I thought that it was useless, I'm too scared to attempt to take my life. So I drove home and didn't sleep at all that night.

I got to work on Monday and was basically told that the line was drawn there, Both me and my supervisor were in the wrong apparently.
We both received a warning, but she had a further written warning taken against her as it's not the first time she's been involved in an incident at work, I've heard as many as 5 people have made complaints about her.

Anyway there's no breathing room for me at this job any more, and for the last week I've been feeling sick, I have not been able to sleep for longer than 3 hours a night, And I have no appetite, I have a heart condition which will probably mean I need surgery at age 50+ and may provide complications in the future, but I have not been able to stay awake at work so I've been drinking about 4 red bulls a day not caring about how this may affect me.

I've never been a smoker and absolutely despise it, but I've been contemplating having my first cigarette as I just don't give a damn what happens to me any more.
I'd be absolutely stuffed on alcohol right about now, But I don't have the money to afford it as I have about 5 dollars in my wallet which has to last me until Monday.

I'm simply over everything, It feels like my life does not have a purpose, Why do I go to work to get abused? Why do I come home to get abused?
If I had it my way I'd be happy just being left alone all my life.

I probably need to see a doctor about this before everything gets worse, But I've seen many doctors before to 'help' me when my father passed away and it did nothing for me, they just blurt out the same crap that never really works.

---

If anyone can provide any useful information to me then I'd greatly appreciate it.
It was just good to get this off my chest.
Sorry to bother you all with my issues.
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You wri
 
Hi Tempest, just a few things.

When I was 17, I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the doctor who suggested there was nothing physically wrong with me and suggested I see a counsellor. I was still living at home with mum and she was not particularly helpful.

In fact she made me feel like a freak for seeking help, but looking back now I can see all too clearly that she was actually uncomfortable with the idea of looking at problems in her own family. My mum came from quite a dysfunctional and violent home and for her it was, and remains, something she can't deal with. She'll go through life not dealing with that or other uncomfortable situations and that's fine for her, but it wasn't fine for me, and it sounds like it might not be for you.

I'm not suggesting my situation and yours are comparable in background and detail, but I'm suggesting to you that what seems an insurmountable problem now will eventually put you in good stead because your going to deal with it, even if you don't feel your ready too, which was how I felt. I didn't want to have that anxiety, it's awful, but your body's telling you there are things you need to face, and you'll face them. You'll face them and come out a super person.

They say that problems often skip a generation - that what your parent(s) couldn't deal with becomes a problem for you to deal with. My mum never learnt to deal with conflict although she retained anger, so her issues were never expressed in a straightforward manner but in ways that were hidden and could never be discussed openly because they weren't meant to exist. Nevertheless that anger emerged in ways which were subtle: undermining, judgment, over the top outbursts, not facing up to realities and so on.

On panic attacks, just know this. There is nothing in them but the panic itself. There is a whirlwind of thoughts that seem to lead to catastrophe, but there is no catastrophe, just ideas that are misplaced and which you'll work through. I'm saying this to you as someone who went through that 20 years ago.
 

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Just checking in Tempest to see how things are. Hope you're travelling alright mate.

Saw this article today http://www.news.com.au/finance/work...oll-of-fifo-work/story-fnkgbb6w-1227303596277 and can relate somewhat to this. Depression is real and is everywhere in this high pressure fast paced life now days. Defence personnel, country men, teenage women, FiFo, middle aged men it just has no boundaries and is a real concern in everyday life.

Just know you're not alone mate. I know it might seem like you are at times but just looking around this board is enough to see that there are people who care. The support offered to Reykjavik is overwhelming YES/NO, the assistance for fostered children to a Crows supporter of all things just show that there are good people willing to help.

Keep fighting mate
 
Tempest said:
Was planning to go tonight but lost my MyKi and couldn't be bothered driving into the city when there were 2 games on tonight (no i didn't go to the bloody soccer!!!)

Sorry I didn't get back to your previous message, I appreciate your worries.
I'll do a status report of things tomorrow :)
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Missing tonight was a good move. We did not cover ourselves in glory. :$:mad:o_O Look forward to an update.
 
A general question to everyone.

Do you believe in God?

I've always been agnostic until I turned to atheism after going through a tough time with depression where I realised either God is not real or he is not there for me. That was 1.5 years ago.

However, since then, the idea of God existing and karma being a thing, are concepts I constantly consider and deliberate myself.

Although I turned to atheism and forced myself to consider God as being non-existant, the words and thoughts when considering such a matter are stated in a way that... God exists.
So either that means I'm desperate for salvation, some sort of instinct is telling me that he exists, or my natural personal belief is that I do believe in God.

Now, I've never had a problem with religion or those who have faith in a higher being... but personally... how can I do so?

Don't get me wrong, I'm starting to lean towards the fact that maybe I do... but... how can I worship a God that is such a dick? Let alone to myself, but everything that is wrong in the world (and no I'm not talking about little things like Justin Bieber).

And if the solution to all this was to pledge my faith to God... isn't that like selling your soul? That might be the easy way out, but such a thing leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

Or maybe I'm being punished for all these thoughts and minor sins I've commited. If so, then why would I ever worship a God who's a spiteful dick?

Like... I'm a good person. Shit, I ain't perfect, but I would hardly believe that I deserve depression or anxiety or loneliness or whatever kick in hyperbolic kick-in-the-nuts thing that wants to **** with you that day.

So either God isn't real and I'm just one unfortunate SOB, God is real and he's just punishing me, or he is real but he's just not there for me.

Sorry for the rant, but I just don't get what I've done to deserve this. And this does seem incredibly self-centred like I'm the only one going through this or I'm the most pitiful person going around, which I know is untrue, but still... I just don't get it.
 
I'm an atheist. As were both my parents.

When I was younger I had no belief in god or religion in general, in fact I was pretty bitter to those that did as I had no understanding of the principals or beliefs behind it. I was similar where whenever anything went wrong I would always say or think that there is no way there could be a god or this wouldn't be happening but on the flip side I never acknowledged that there could be a god when good things happened, I just used to think I was deserving of it. Young, immature and with little knowledge on religion in general and faith.

I married into a Catholic family, still not sure how that happened, and whilst they're not what you call practicing, they do believe and have good values. My kids go to a catholic school where they are taught good values which once again is nothing that I was ever exposed to. Sure I grew up alright, but it's pleasing to see how religion to some degree, from what I see anyway, is more about instilling values into people and making them better people. I have little empathy, I'm a real self doer and rarely will ask for help and I feel embarrassed if I do like I'm failing should I need to ask for help. This I think is also a valuable trait that my kids are learning where it's ok to help others and to ask for help yourself, I don't know.

I went to Israel for work a few years ago. Amazing trip. It was an amazing eye opener to religious beliefs in a complicated area. I had a few days of private guides showing me around the country along Syria, Lebanon and Palestine and it really opened my eyes. I never prayed before in my life and for some reason I found myself saying a little prayer for my wife's friend who was battling cancer at the time on the waling wall in Jerusalem. I didn't know what I was doing, but spent some time there and said a couple of words. I didn't know at the time, but it really meant very little to me doing that, but when I told my wife who told her friend they were forever grateful and couldn't believe it. It wasn't my belief, but it was there belief that made it a good thing and hopefully some positive vibes were instilled towards her, I was embarrassed by it all tbh.

I don't understand it, I'm taking more interest in it that's for sure and I can understand why people believe. Whether it's right or wrong I don't know but if it improves who you are and how you treat others it surely can't be a bad thing. Sometimes people just need something to believe in and who knows, I don't think you would be punished for your sins, I thought the whole idea was for forgiveness and to improve you as a person and maybe this, as hard as it sounds, makes you stronger as person acknowledging shortfalls and making improvements to yours and others lives.

No body deserves to live with depression or mental illness. But recognising it and making that step towards recovering is the first step towards regaining your life back and being happy with yourself for who you are and not who you were.
 

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sirlothie said:
No I believe everyone is going to Heaven. It's survival of the fittest so God does not even consider murder a crime. Because all your doing is sending that person to Heaven, same as if you kill a cow. May sound silly but that's my beliefs.
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Well I am not Religious though I am not sure what is True or Not with God and Stuff.

Though you make a good argument that “Survival of the Fittest” idea
 

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