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And what are you? Something special?

This.

I know this guy who - even though he's by anyone's definition, an average looking lad - believes that he not only deserves a conga line of stunners subservient to his pecker, but also that they should be eternally grateful for having the opportunity to be in the presence of his sheer excellence.

Settle down champ. You look like a 23 year old Patton Oswalt.
 

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I've never understood guys that can get with anything
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And what are you? Something special?

He is a pretty sexy guy. If I was a girl he probably wouldn't bang me as I wouldn't be hot enough. :(
 

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Mate - "Oi I'm having drinks with a tinder chick Friday night, I told her to bring a friend for you because you need a blowjob"
Me - Pix of chix
Mate - Don't have, mine isn't anything special, so yours is likely to be the same
Me - Ugh

He always does this shit. I'm a top shelf wingman so I'll go along with it, but why can't he bang a hottie every now and then?

The blowjob thing is a running joke about me somehow always scoring girls who don't give oral.

I remember years ago a mate of mine hit a streak of going the growl on 6 birds in a row without getting the favour returned, very funny for us.
 

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I remember years ago a mate of mine hit a streak of going the growl on 6 birds in a row without getting the favour returned, very funny for us.

I once got three blowjobs from three different girls in one night. Was pretty stoked to be honest.
 
And what are you? Something special?
I'm not going to apologise for not being the kind of dickhead that will **** anything. I actually like to be attracted to the girls I take home, and not settle for any ol' root. This ain't a public service.
This.

I know this guy who - even though he's by anyone's definition, an average looking lad - believes that he not only deserves a conga line of stunners subservient to his pecker, but also that they should be eternally grateful for having the opportunity to be in the presence of his sheer excellence.

Settle down champ. You look like a 23 year old Patton Oswalt.
Yeah, sorry, we all know how much you think of yourself m8. Post ignored.
I remember years ago a mate of mine hit a streak of going the growl on 6 birds in a row without getting the favour returned, very funny for us.
I had a long term girlfriend (4 years) who didn't like it and I'd only cop on special occasions. Got another girlfriend for 6ish months who just flat out denied. Sort of seeing a girl now who has shown no intention. It's ridiculous. Maybe I should just be more selfish.
 
Thread needs more Tinder stories and less people thinking the
Mate - "Oi I'm having drinks with a tinder chick Friday night, I told her to bring a friend for you because you need a blowjob"
Me - Pix of chix
Mate - Don't have, mine isn't anything special, so yours is likely to be the same
Me - Ugh

He always does this shit. I'm a top shelf wingman so I'll go along with it, but why can't he bang a hottie every now and then?

The blowjob thing is a running joke about me somehow always scoring girls who don't give oral.

I assume you've been setting said mate up with supermodels for some time now. If speaking with the peasants isn't your thing you can always use decline the invitation.
 
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