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chunkylover53 said:
There's only so much convo you can make via message before it fizzles.
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I respectfully disagree. While I havent been on tinder, I have met several guys online and have literally spoken to them (IMing + PMing) for weeks, if not months before we met IRL.
 
Having ghosted and been ghosted: I think it is an acceptable option to a point. Once you have been talking for a reasonable amount of time or have met up a few times ghosting becomes disrespectful.

Messaged for 2 days and the conversation is dry? Ghosting is OK
Had 1 alright date, spoken a bit after but couldn't organise a 2nd? Ghosting is OK
Had 3 dates and realised that it won't work? Ghosting is not OK

And as a bloke I used to get ghosted a lot and preferred it. If I was ever unsure about things I'd put myself in a situation where I could go "well if she replies, then this is worth investing in more" and would get ghosted 9/10 times.
 
Shell said:
I respectfully disagree. While I havent been on tinder, I have met several guys online and have literally spoken to them (IMing + PMing) for weeks, if not months before we met IRL.
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I've had that, then a date or two and still got ghosted after
 

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Millky95 said:
Having ghosted and been ghosted: I think it is an acceptable option to a point. Once you have been talking for a reasonable amount of time or have met up a few times ghosting becomes disrespectful.

Messaged for 2 days and the conversation is dry? Ghosting is OK
Had 1 alright date, spoken a bit after but couldn't organise a 2nd? Ghosting is OK
Had 3 dates and realised that it won't work? Ghosting is not OK

And as a bloke I used to get ghosted a lot and preferred it. If I was ever unsure about things I'd put myself in a situation where I could go "well if she replies, then this is worth investing in more" and would get ghosted 9/10 times.
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Yeh I call it a 'mutual fadeout' - if no one messages after a date, it's not really ghosting. Ghosting is ignoring a message
 
Shell said:
This. It's a disgrace really esp that guy ^^ up there who was ghosted after 6 months, the absolute fu**.
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Sorry - I should clarify, girl I was seeing for 6 months didn't ghost me. She just started taking 12 hours to reply and giving me f**k all until I asked her what the issue was. I consider it a form of ghosting but technically she didn't ghost me. I made some mistakes with her and I now accept that it was probably too much in the end for her but I had to probe an answer from her.

Anyway, I think I've come to terms that these apps are horse shit and the next time I head out on the turps I'll try and weave some magic as I'm definitely someone who operates better in person than behind a dating app.
 
LOL @ people justifying ghosting. I'd wager more people don't say no for an answer than take it.

It's really not that hard to say 'No thanks, I'm not interested.' and if the other person can't let it go then block/delete them. That's not being rude, nor is it rude letting a conversation die out of natural causes. But if you are contributing 'yeah' 'hehe' 'cool' 'haha aw' then you know exactly what you are doing.
 
Scotland said:
LOL @ people justifying ghosting. I'd wager more people don't say no for an answer than take it.

It's really not that hard to say 'No thanks, I'm not interested.' and if the other person can't let it go then block/delete them. That's not being rude, nor is it rude letting a conversation die out of natural causes. But if you are contributing 'yeah' 'hehe' 'cool' 'haha aw' then you know exactly what you are doing.
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I did that once and for 5 days she made new FB accounts to send long and abusive messages after the fact
 
Scotland said:
LOL @ people justifying ghosting. I'd wager more people don't say no for an answer than take it.

It's really not that hard to say 'No thanks, I'm not interested.' and if the other person can't let it go then block/delete them. That's not being rude, nor is it rude letting a conversation die out of natural causes. But if you are contributing 'yeah' 'hehe' 'cool' 'haha aw' then you know exactly what you are doing.
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Exactly right. Just be a ****ing grown up and be honest with them.
 

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Billy ray said:
Never ghost someone. Particularly if you have slept with them. You are wasting an opportunity. Ask them for a threesome with their hot friend. It will either happen. Or they will be disgusted and ghost you
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Hahahahah

Ahhhh this actually seems like a smart play.
 
Billy ray said:
Never ghost someone. Particularly if you have slept with them. You are wasting an opportunity. Ask them for a threesome with their hot friend. It will either happen. Or they will be disgusted and ghost you
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"I had no idea you even liked my friend Brian"
 
Thanks Mof. Don't laugh. Massive 'nam flashbacks leaving me cowering under my chair waiting for the nightmare to go away. Perhaps the pain will be lessened by me letting some light into the dark recesses of my suffering.

OTP naked lying next to (redacted), also naked. Wandering hands from both sides. (redacted) spends close to an hour (count 'em - 60 MINUTES!) telling me about certain of her female friends, in the most delicious detail, of their bodies and what they liked doing and being done. Bear in mind that I had actually met these women several times over the course of a year and now had a wonderful new insight, and it was very pleasurable imagining myself frolicing in their midst. My horizons weren't the only thing being expanded.

(redacted) rolls over, looks me in the eye, and says "you up for a threesome?"

Managed to splutter something incomprehensible that she interpreted correctly as "hell yes!"

She rolls back, picks up her phone, dials, and some bloke answers. "Hi George, I've a friend here and he wants to party, do you want to come over?" <looks at me, whispers "George is bi, he'll do anything">

*this* is where my pet expression "backpedalled so fast the chain came off" originated.

(redacted) broke the sad news to George, hung up and said something along the lines of me being soooo vanilla. I said "what about XXX? What about YYY? I thought you were calling one of them!"

"Oh no, I don't like to share my men."
--

Let that be a lesson to you all. Like Geelong Sicko, I have accepted that my true calling in life is to serve as a warning example to others.
 
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I've been ghosted more than I have done the ghosting.

I think it's fine to do on a dating app to people you don't plan to meet in real life.

Doing it to someone you have meet a few times, not so fine.

I just don't understand why people will leave your message hanging for weeks and not unmatch you instead.
 
Shell said:
I dont like to share my men?
That doesn't make sense
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It certainly didn't to me at the time. Maybe some underlying insecurity beneath all the surface anything-goes bravado. She had no problem sharing other women's men.

I felt... shortchanged. Talk about bait and switch.
 
revo333 said:
I just don't understand why people will leave your message hanging for weeks and not unmatch you instead.
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People like to keep their backup plan around, for when their other backup plans fall through, after their primary plan falls through.

Juuuust in case in 6 months time they're still single and might, maybe, possibly, want to message.
 
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