Loonerty
TheBrownDog
The Las Vegas Bears were founded in Season 5, however their current iteration was led by captain(s) pantskyle (now Doctor Colossus) and DemonJim. The Bears have, however, been in a steady decline for several seasons and have taken their greatest stumble in Season 30. In this essay I will discuss the factors that have lead us to this point which include but are not limited to cult-like behaviour, disrespect for the founders of the team and the league as a whole, protecting individuals who should not be in the league, horrendous recruitment, and, most recently, low standard posting.
beez Medallist JoshWoodenSpoon took the reins as Bears captain in season 25. This could be regarded a significant changing point in the trajectory of the Bears. Prior to this, they had, admittedly, been coasting along as an average team. They weren’t hated nor was there significant praise for the side. Once Josh became captain, the demeanour at the club clearly changed as he formed what can only be described as a cult of personality around himself. Posters from the Bears would have happily died for Josh, I’m sure of it. Just like real life cults, even in the fantasy world this is not healthy. It all came to a head when Josh made a bet against The Jesus where the loser would have to join the infamous Baghdad Bombers the following season. While I am sure there was much disappointment within the walls of the Bears facility, they could have simply moved forward with Test Tickle as captain, accepting that Josh was no longer their player.
Instead they chose to try and maintain their undying loyalty to Josh, who was now ANOTHER CLUB’S PLAYER. Test Tickle decided that instead of any actual Bears player, he’d rather have the Bears represented in the committee by Josh, who, once again for emphasis, was a Baghdad player. Thankfully the correct decision was made and this was disallowed. It didn’t end here, however. When Josh’s request to leave the Bombers mid-season was denied by Bombers captain WaynesWorld19, he chose to pr0n-melt his way out instead of simply wait a few months. In the fallout with the league divided on the issue, Test Tickle and the Bears chose to boycott their match thread against the Bombers. Match threads are the essence of the league – it’s where matches exist and are the key component of inter-club banter. To organise a boycott as the Bears (and in the past, Bombers) did is immensely disrespectful to the other team and the league. Not only is this a slap in the face to all other teams, it is also a self-inflicted slap in the face to all Bears players. By nominating another team’s player as their committee representative, Test Tickle was in essence suggesting that no Bears player was suitable for the role. This disrespect for his own club is not out of character, however, which can be clearly seen when observing changes made this season to key parts of the club’s culture.
As I mentioned previously, the Bears were returned to the league by pantskyle and DemonJim in Season 18. However you’d be hard pressed to discover this yourself, as there is no recognition of either in the team thread beyond awards won. Further to this, long-standing coach Coach Walken was replaced by Ron Swanson and Welfare Officer Patrick Stewart was given the sack, with nobody taking the role on. This is a particularly poor move, given some recruits for Season 30 might cause teammates to require a Welfare Officer. pantskyle also established a Vegas-run legal agency – Bearly Legal – which he has maintained rights to even after leaving. In a rather distasteful move, Matera92 has plagiarized the idea and created Pawly Represented. The Bears seem adamant to rip away the legacy of the club that pants and DemonJim installed when they were brought in, and it might be due to the addition of one player in particular.
The player mentioned will remain nameless however most will read between the lines and understand who is being discussed. The Bears are happy to welcome this player back into the league despite agreements being in place that the SFA was not suited for them in any way. This poster maintains a façade of being a bubbly, sweet person but behind closed doors has a significant nasty streak and has in the past made serious and horrifying threats to other users which may cause them significant mental harm. Further to this, when said poster is called out the Bears have often leapt to their defence, stating that the others don’t know what they’re talking about despite clear evidence existing. Club captain Test Tickle also made serious threats of physical harm to Blacky over this very issue only days ago. He later backflipped and said it was all a joke but it was quite clear that the tone was very serious. This individual is not the only poster being protected by the Bears.
Current vice-captain Metalcrusher left his previous club in disgrace after having significant issues with a female teammate who is now no longer in the league. MC’s behaviour towards this poster was at best misogynous and at worst incredibly misogynous. When MC decided to look for another club, most sides gave him a wide berth, knowing his abrasive history. But not the Bears, happily signing Metalcrusher to a club which then proceeded to recruit female posters for season 30, bringing them into a potentially toxic environment. These signings are not the end of the dismal recruitment of the Bears, however.
In Season 30, the Bears brought in the previously discussed problem child along with I Dont Care from the Roys and U2tigers from the Wonders; as well as throwing out a lifeline to Millky95, fresh off a failed expansion bid. I Dont Care is a poster whose content consists of talking about whisky, posting the only emoji he knows how to post despite not really getting what it means and the rest is just a grey blur of meh. This is not the type of player to build a club around. Nor is U2tigers, whose favourite hobby is inserting himself into arguments without reading any of the prior discussion, getting slammed by all sides, then claiming that “he’s just asking questions” like a right-wing media commentator. Bono’s public perception has plummeted in the wake of the league-wide expansion debate where he repeatedly tried to have input into discussions but was often several pages late. Millky95 spent a significant time away from the league but returned with a bang last season, keeping an expansion bid hidden from the league proper until it was forced into the public eye. Again, the public perception for Millky, who had previously been thought of positively, dropped significantly with his decision not to inform the committee or the league of his intentions. Further to this, he is an outward supporter of spamming, clearly an enabler for Metalcrusher and is an advocate for posting cricketer images when “cracking the ton”, an undeniable scourge on the league which promotes lifeless posting purely for the sake of numbers. This is, unfortunately, symptomatic of where the Bears are at right now and their content this season proves as much.
In the Sweet FA, it is common to have threads celebrating milestones beyond 100 games. This is a significant achievement, requiring at least 5 seasons but usually more of activity in the league. The Bears decided that their rookie crop is so good, an opinion which Test Tickle cannot stop repeating, they deserve a thread to celebrate them playing their first game. This is just not on – 50 game milestones rarely deserve a thread of recognition, let alone a thread to celebrate a debut. Attitudes like this, along with their adopted “post at all costs” match thread strategy which is beginning to leak through the league, make them a side whose posts few wish to read.
The Las Vegas Bears have been on a steady decline over the last few seasons, to the extent that they have fallen beneath local rivals the Swamprats in the eyes of many. The cultist attitude of the Bears under JoshWoodenSpoon has been replaced by haphazard captaincy and disrespect by Test Tickle, resulting in their recruitment, and as a result content, suffering significantly. There are signs for hope, however, with some promise shown by their rookies if they are able to either change the club’s dying culture or escape from the side.
beez Medallist JoshWoodenSpoon took the reins as Bears captain in season 25. This could be regarded a significant changing point in the trajectory of the Bears. Prior to this, they had, admittedly, been coasting along as an average team. They weren’t hated nor was there significant praise for the side. Once Josh became captain, the demeanour at the club clearly changed as he formed what can only be described as a cult of personality around himself. Posters from the Bears would have happily died for Josh, I’m sure of it. Just like real life cults, even in the fantasy world this is not healthy. It all came to a head when Josh made a bet against The Jesus where the loser would have to join the infamous Baghdad Bombers the following season. While I am sure there was much disappointment within the walls of the Bears facility, they could have simply moved forward with Test Tickle as captain, accepting that Josh was no longer their player.
Instead they chose to try and maintain their undying loyalty to Josh, who was now ANOTHER CLUB’S PLAYER. Test Tickle decided that instead of any actual Bears player, he’d rather have the Bears represented in the committee by Josh, who, once again for emphasis, was a Baghdad player. Thankfully the correct decision was made and this was disallowed. It didn’t end here, however. When Josh’s request to leave the Bombers mid-season was denied by Bombers captain WaynesWorld19, he chose to pr0n-melt his way out instead of simply wait a few months. In the fallout with the league divided on the issue, Test Tickle and the Bears chose to boycott their match thread against the Bombers. Match threads are the essence of the league – it’s where matches exist and are the key component of inter-club banter. To organise a boycott as the Bears (and in the past, Bombers) did is immensely disrespectful to the other team and the league. Not only is this a slap in the face to all other teams, it is also a self-inflicted slap in the face to all Bears players. By nominating another team’s player as their committee representative, Test Tickle was in essence suggesting that no Bears player was suitable for the role. This disrespect for his own club is not out of character, however, which can be clearly seen when observing changes made this season to key parts of the club’s culture.
As I mentioned previously, the Bears were returned to the league by pantskyle and DemonJim in Season 18. However you’d be hard pressed to discover this yourself, as there is no recognition of either in the team thread beyond awards won. Further to this, long-standing coach Coach Walken was replaced by Ron Swanson and Welfare Officer Patrick Stewart was given the sack, with nobody taking the role on. This is a particularly poor move, given some recruits for Season 30 might cause teammates to require a Welfare Officer. pantskyle also established a Vegas-run legal agency – Bearly Legal – which he has maintained rights to even after leaving. In a rather distasteful move, Matera92 has plagiarized the idea and created Pawly Represented. The Bears seem adamant to rip away the legacy of the club that pants and DemonJim installed when they were brought in, and it might be due to the addition of one player in particular.
The player mentioned will remain nameless however most will read between the lines and understand who is being discussed. The Bears are happy to welcome this player back into the league despite agreements being in place that the SFA was not suited for them in any way. This poster maintains a façade of being a bubbly, sweet person but behind closed doors has a significant nasty streak and has in the past made serious and horrifying threats to other users which may cause them significant mental harm. Further to this, when said poster is called out the Bears have often leapt to their defence, stating that the others don’t know what they’re talking about despite clear evidence existing. Club captain Test Tickle also made serious threats of physical harm to Blacky over this very issue only days ago. He later backflipped and said it was all a joke but it was quite clear that the tone was very serious. This individual is not the only poster being protected by the Bears.
Current vice-captain Metalcrusher left his previous club in disgrace after having significant issues with a female teammate who is now no longer in the league. MC’s behaviour towards this poster was at best misogynous and at worst incredibly misogynous. When MC decided to look for another club, most sides gave him a wide berth, knowing his abrasive history. But not the Bears, happily signing Metalcrusher to a club which then proceeded to recruit female posters for season 30, bringing them into a potentially toxic environment. These signings are not the end of the dismal recruitment of the Bears, however.
In Season 30, the Bears brought in the previously discussed problem child along with I Dont Care from the Roys and U2tigers from the Wonders; as well as throwing out a lifeline to Millky95, fresh off a failed expansion bid. I Dont Care is a poster whose content consists of talking about whisky, posting the only emoji he knows how to post despite not really getting what it means and the rest is just a grey blur of meh. This is not the type of player to build a club around. Nor is U2tigers, whose favourite hobby is inserting himself into arguments without reading any of the prior discussion, getting slammed by all sides, then claiming that “he’s just asking questions” like a right-wing media commentator. Bono’s public perception has plummeted in the wake of the league-wide expansion debate where he repeatedly tried to have input into discussions but was often several pages late. Millky95 spent a significant time away from the league but returned with a bang last season, keeping an expansion bid hidden from the league proper until it was forced into the public eye. Again, the public perception for Millky, who had previously been thought of positively, dropped significantly with his decision not to inform the committee or the league of his intentions. Further to this, he is an outward supporter of spamming, clearly an enabler for Metalcrusher and is an advocate for posting cricketer images when “cracking the ton”, an undeniable scourge on the league which promotes lifeless posting purely for the sake of numbers. This is, unfortunately, symptomatic of where the Bears are at right now and their content this season proves as much.
In the Sweet FA, it is common to have threads celebrating milestones beyond 100 games. This is a significant achievement, requiring at least 5 seasons but usually more of activity in the league. The Bears decided that their rookie crop is so good, an opinion which Test Tickle cannot stop repeating, they deserve a thread to celebrate them playing their first game. This is just not on – 50 game milestones rarely deserve a thread of recognition, let alone a thread to celebrate a debut. Attitudes like this, along with their adopted “post at all costs” match thread strategy which is beginning to leak through the league, make them a side whose posts few wish to read.
The Las Vegas Bears have been on a steady decline over the last few seasons, to the extent that they have fallen beneath local rivals the Swamprats in the eyes of many. The cultist attitude of the Bears under JoshWoodenSpoon has been replaced by haphazard captaincy and disrespect by Test Tickle, resulting in their recruitment, and as a result content, suffering significantly. There are signs for hope, however, with some promise shown by their rookies if they are able to either change the club’s dying culture or escape from the side.
Ophidian Old Boys
