What constitutes cheating?

[i_luv_westcoast]

Ok I have a question about cheating. I have seen Girl "A" 2 or 3 times over a 2 month period. The reason we have seen each other so few times is because I have been travelling fairly extensively and lived a fair distance from her. Anyway I moved up to Perth where she lives for my last year of Uni this year and am going to the footy with her tonight. During the time I was away we kept in contact through the phone and e-mail. Now as a result of all this I wouldn't call it a relationship as yet, perhaps the beginning of one.

Anyway I was chatting on the net last night and started talking to Girl "B". We got on pretty well, and she actually asked me to meet up with her on Sunday. I said yes, I would like to meet up with her. So the question is for you all "is this cheating" if I meet up with her for a coffee.

 

[PeteLX]

Nup. Go for it. It's hard enough keeping a long distance 'relationship' going, and you've made no commitment to Girl A. On the other hand, if things go well tonight you can always cancel on Girl B. I'm sure she won't mind too much.

 

[Stucey]

What constitutes "Coffee??"

If it just actually coffee, then I can't really see anything wrong with that. It's not like you have devoted your life to Miss A.

So go ahead mate, enjoy yourself!!

 

[-GB-]

You can't have your cake and eat it too....

You can look but you can't touch...

 

[kristin5]

Nah, I don't reckon it's cheating either. You're not actually committed to "A" and anyway, it's only coffee!!!!

 

[PeteLX]

Hmmm. But _is_ it really just coffee? If it was, you probably wouldn't worry so much about repercussions.

If you care about girl A, then don't do anything you'll regret with girl B. Otherwise, go fer it!

 

[Macca19]

Originally posted by i_luv_westcoast
So the question is for you all "is this cheating" if I meet up with her for a coffee.

no way!! lol..how can that be cheating! Your not doing anything wrong.
I reckon any willingful sexual things (kissing, foreplay, sex) is cheating tho. i wouldnt call it cheating if your passed out on the floor and some chick comes over and starts getting with you while your passed out. But if you both willingly do stuff then its cheating...imho

 

[Survivor_Stu]

Re: Re: What constitutes cheating?

Originally posted by Macca19

i wouldnt call it cheating if your passed out on the floor and some chick comes over and starts getting with you while your passed out

Not re-living any memories there at all are ya macca??

 

[i_luv_westcoast]

Macca when I say cheating I obviously don't mean in the sexual sense. What I meant is am I betraying the trust of Girl "A" by doing this. I think Girl "A" thinks we are a lot more serious than we actually are. I defintiely know she would be hurt if she knew I was meeting up with someone else.

 

[The Hitman]

I probably wouldn't do it. I mean, it is okay if you don't do anything and just chat, but will the temptation arise?

The Hitman

 

[TheMase]

Originally posted by The Hitman
I probably wouldn't do it. I mean, it is okay if you don't do anything and just chat, but will the temptation arise?

The Hitman

If the temptation arises, then you obviously dont feel much for the other girl. And if you do and it arises, then you dont deserve to be with either of them.

 

[Stucey]

What if you arise, when the temptation arises......What then???

 

[Fat Red]

Originally posted by TheMase


If the temptation arises, then you obviously dont feel much for the other girl. And if you do and it arises, then you dont deserve to be either of them.

You must have a pretty low sex drive. I'm in love with my girlfriend, but I know that if a gorgeous girl was coming on to me, I'd be tempted. Hopefully I'm strong enough to resist that temptation, but I would be tempted.

 

[PeteLX]

Originally posted by TheMase


If the temptation arises, then you obviously dont feel much for the other girl. And if you do and it arises, then you dont deserve to be either of them.

Huh? I don't think he IS either of them...he's himself.

What about romance? What if Girl B is 'the one' and Iluvwestcoast never even meets her? I reckon he has nothing to lose and only experience to gain.

 

[TheMase]

Originally posted by PeteLX


Huh? I don't think he IS either of them...he's himself.

What about romance? What if Girl B is 'the one' and Iluvwestcoast never even meets her? I reckon he has nothing to lose and only experience to gain.

"Huh? I don't think he IS either of them...he's himself."

What the?

I am not saying don't meet her. In my post I never said that.
I said that if you feel strongly about girl b, and you like girl b, you really dont deserve either ...
If you dont feel that strongly about Girl A and you meet and like girl B, then he will know how much he feels about Girl A, and suddenly Girl B wont see like such a problem when he can break it off with Girl A, but dont do anything with Girl B until Girl A is out of the picture

A bit complicated .. but do you get that

 

[Stucey]

Nah Masey, he is just picking you up cause you said:

"Then you don't deserve to BE either of them"

LOL

 

[hawkfan5]

Originally posted by Stucey
Nah Masey, he is just picking you up cause you said:

"Then you don't deserve to BE either of them"

LOL

Gedday Stu,

MSN working for you?

It aint for me.

 

[Stucey]

Originally posted by hawkfan5


Gedday Stu,

MSN working for you?

It aint for me.

Hey Rob, nah, it aint working at all......SUX!!

 

[roobear]

It's this easy: tell Girl A what you think of her. Ask her what she thinks of you. Based on the answer, you will know what's right. Whatever your conscience tells you at this time, that's how you should act.

As long as you follow this, you will be able to hold your head up high.

Good Luck.

 

[hawkeyeqld]

There is only one obvious choice here...

Have a threesome

 

[Mooster7]

Are you going for just coffee? That's not cheating, but why would you do that? Certainly, you are doing some comparison shopping at the same time.

If that is the case, then it is cheating. Ask yourself this: If you get to the coffee shop, and you both are mutually attracted, and she invites you back to her place, would you go?

If the answer is yes, then it is cheating. A yes answer is cheating even if (once you meet up with her) neither one of you want to pursue anything and you just have the coffee. That's the bad news.

The good news is, from the way you described A-Girl, you have no obligation to fidelity. She hasn't got her hook set, and there doesn't seem to be any direct nor implied agreement between you.

Therefore, you are free to have the cofee girl, her room mate & her sister all while the cat looks on.

P.S. For all their grace, balance, fluid movement and poise, a cat is a complete spaz in the act of passion. I think they like to watch humans at it in order to get ideas and pointers.

 

[Dan26]

My advice is not not have a relationship with either of them, but to have casual sex with both of them. Then you are not cheating on anybody, or anyone, and you get two instead of one.

Win-win.

 

[roobear]

Originally posted by hawkeyeqld

Have a threesome

Forget everything I just said!

hawkeyqld is a genius!

 

[i_luv_westcoast]

Would have been easier if I didn't log onto the net that night This could get really difficult if I fancy girl "B" as much as Girl "A".

 

[catgirl2002]

It all depends how serious you are about either girl. If you feel nothing much for girl A then I see nothing wrong, you are just meeting someone for a coffee, nothing more.

As far as a long distance relationship goes, I started out with one with a man who lived in America, we were together for 3 years -- to cut a long story short, I married this American last Saturday, so long distance relationships can work.

You never said how old you were, I say make the most of your youth, as long as you don't hurt anyone in the process.

Just my opinion.

Jennifer