Media WIGMEDIA: EJW's Scale of Indignation

[Elton Johns Wig]

Go with too genius to understand, it will make you feel better.

TOP DEFINITION
Flatter than a witch's tit
Adjective. Extremely flat. A witch is traditionally considered not to be the model of fertility and, as such to be less than buxom.

 

[RelaxMax]

Go with too genius to understand, it will make you feel better.

TOP DEFINITION
Flatter than a witch's tit
Adjective. Extremely flat. A witch is traditionally considered not to be the model of fertility and, as such to be less than buxom.

I was going to go with "flatter than a shitcarter's hat" or "colder than a witch's tit"

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

"flatter than a shitcarter's hat"

One of my favourites. Kicking myself actually, it probably is my favourite.

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

View attachment 829814​

Hello again my wonderful SFA community.

I've noticed something this year. There is plenty happening, PLENTY happening. New kerfuffles and scandals (sorry brahj, iconic thread) are happening weekly, if not daily.

It's also an incredibly active season for media, with lots of quality offerings hitting our screens (and also lots of tripe). It's great to see our formerly not very active admin Kennedy Parker keeping an eye on the media proceedings and adjudicating with some much needed quality control.

Now, all these events. These scandals, the circuses we create, and even the media, it's designed to gain attention. And some of it is designed to get a negative reaction, to rustle Jimmies if you will.

Well, believe it or not, I've noticed this, genius that I am.

And after much behind the scenes testing on many, many threads and scandals, I'm ready to debut my patented technology that produces EJW's Scale Of Indignation.

This formula, which is patented just like the colonels secret herbs and spices, and is bought to you by the designers of Noobz0r's Power Rankings, will scale threads and events as to their level of annoyance.

It is accurate and cannot be questioned. All ratings have been triple checked, and are 100% correct.





The scale is as follows:





View attachment 829815

1.The Easter Island Statue: The thread or event has no effect on the scale. It is barely recognised and the person behind it should bin it.





2.The Yawn: Seriously, is that all you've got? Wake me up when you've got something.







3.The Larry David: Yeah, ok, I'm listening, and I'm mildly annoyed.






4. The Jose Mourinho: Oh fu** off mate!! Ok, this legitimately gets up my goat. I want to react, this has got me.






5. The Anger from Inside Out: Ok, we're going nuclear inside here. You are pushing every single one of my buttons, I've tried to contain it, but I can't.



Not all threads or scandals will be rated. We don't want to break or overload the system in the early operational phases.

First ratings will appear below very shortly.

Wig Out

Subscribed.

But no tag, so you get a complimentary Jose on me, campaigner

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

O.M.G

I did forget.

I have thanked him for all his other work, but I am ashamed to admit full and deserved credit did not go to TheInjuryFactory for the fantastic header graphics.

Apologies and thank you, again.

 

[Headless]

Great graphic header, Elton Johns Wig. Impressive work.

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

O.M.G

I did forget.

I have thanked him for all his other work, but I am ashamed to admit full and deserved credit did not go to TheInjuryFactory for the fantastic header graphics.

Apologies and thank you, again.

I would have just given me a return of serve Jose.

Any time friendo.

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

I would have just given me a return of serve Jose.

Any time friendo.

I ******* love that GIF.

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

Oooooooh boy, oh boy!!!

I walked into the office this morning and the SOI 4000 was beeping loudly and the lights were flashing like mad.

Another rating has come in. And here I was saying how hard it would be to clock the machine. We haven't even lasted a week.




Good afternoon Sab22, you useless sack of s**t!!!!!

This week, starting today, was to be a CELEBRATION of the Wonders. Celebration.

You've spent too much time looking into that mirror of yours you FIGJAM. Ever since you've been made co-captain, CO-captain, you've made it all about you. You know the heat that's coming, you know the ridicule that you have exposed the club to. If you weren't so busy putting your name up in lights, you may have been able to SPELL CORRECTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But no, you make sure your name is up top, that's important. When the spotlight comes rightfully your way this week, enjoy it. Hang your head.

On behalf of the Wonders, your SOI rating:

 

[NaturalDisaster]

One thing I like about EJW (and there’s not many believe me) is that he’s not afraid to give his teammates s**t if they deserve it.

 

[Tigerturbulance]

Go with too genius to understand, it will make you feel better.

TOP DEFINITION
Flatter than a witch's tit
Adjective. Extremely flat. A witch is traditionally considered not to be the model of fertility and, as such to be less than buxom.

Dear Wigs;
Loved your edumacation piece on witches ****, cleared up some mistruths l had.

As you seem to be the SFA **** SME can you further educamate me on the expression ‘colder than a nuns tit’

Yours into ****
Turbo

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

Dear Wigs;
Loved your edumacation piece on witches ****, cleared up some mistruths l had.

As you seem to be the SFA **** SME can you further educamate me on the expression ‘colder than a nuns tit’

Yours into ****
Turbo

Dear Turbo,

When it comes to nuns and being colder, I don't think they refer to the tit. More to a lower region.

tittering
Wig

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

One thing I like about EJW (and there’s not many believe me) is that he’s not afraid to give his teammates s**t if they deserve it.

I'm all about equality Dumbarse.

REAL equality.

 

[Ned_Flanders]

Oooooooh boy, oh boy!!!

I walked into the office this morning and the SOI 4000 was beeping loudly and the lights were flashing like mad.

Another rating has come in. And here I was saying how hard it would be to clock the machine. We haven't even lasted a week.




Good afternoon Sab22, you useless sack of s**t!!!!!

This week, starting today, was to be a CELEBRATION of the Wonders. Celebration.

You've spent too much time looking into that mirror of yours you FIGJAM. Ever since you've been made co-captain, CO-captain, you've made it all about you. You know the heat that's coming, you know the ridicule that you have exposed the club to. If you weren't so busy putting your name up in lights, you may have been able to SPELL CORRECTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But no, you make sure your name is up top, that's important. When the spotlight comes rightfully your way this week, enjoy it. Hang your head.

On behalf of the Wonders, your SOI rating:

On behalf of the Furies, we name Sab22 the player of rivalry round

 

[Agent93]

Dear Wig,

It's the Friday leading up to an early game in round 5. According to Hate's player stats spreadsheet your captain finished S28 on 345 games, so your LG is either terrible at maths or negligent in commemoration of a league legend.

Yours in SOI,
A93

 

[Ned_Flanders]

Dear Wig,

It's the Friday leading up to an early game in round 5. According to Hate's player stats spreadsheet your captain finished S28 on 345 games, so your LG is either terrible at maths or negligent in commemoration of a league legend.

Yours in SOI,
A93

When did the WONDERS make WaynesWorld19 their captain?

 

[U2tigers]

Dear Wig,

It's the Friday leading up to an early game in round 5. According to Hate's player stats spreadsheet your captain finished S28 on 345 games, so your LG is either terrible at maths or negligent in commemoration of a league legend.

Yours in SOI,
A93

pfffffffffttt.

There is a method...... are you believing me?

 

[NaturalDisaster]

Dear Wig,

It's the Friday leading up to an early game in round 5. According to Hate's player stats spreadsheet your captain finished S28 on 345 games, so your LG is either terrible at maths or negligent in commemoration of a league legend.

Yours in SOI,
A93

Absolute disgrace and another blight on the league admin who, being an excel monkey himself, would have been well aware of this. No respect for his captain or anyone else.

Dingster is one of the real nice guys of the league, went over to the Wonders to help save them when Haydo retired and this is how they repay him. Such an arrogant, egotistical bunch of flogs who all think of themselves.

 

[U2tigers]

Absolute disgrace and another blight on the league admin who, being an excel monkey himself, would have been well aware of this. No respect for his captain or anyone else.

Dingster is one of the real nice guys of the league, went over to the Wonders to help save them when Haydo retired and this is how they repay him. Such an arrogant, egotistical bunch of flogs who all think of themselves.

Nice melt dumbarse.

You can't rush these things. We are building to this.


Step - 1 - Notify League of Wonder Week

Step 2 - Get the Co-Captain to monumentally * - up - So the WOnders are the Topic of day

Step 3 A) B) C) D) - Release the Milestone Threads

Step 4 - Flog the Demons in a Marquee Rivalry Match

Step 5 - Complete celebration of all things Wonders

Step 6 - Let the Sweet F.A. Recover.

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

Nice melt dumbarse.

You can't rush these things. We are building to this.


Step - 1 - Notify League of Wonder Week

Step 2 - Get the Co-Captain to monumentally fu** - up - So the WOnders are the Topic of day

Step 3 A) B) C) D) - Release the Milestone Threads

Step 4 - Flog the Demons in a Marquee Rivalry Match

Step 5 - Complete celebration of all things Wonders

Step 6 - Let the Sweet F.A. Recover.

Delicious

#WondersWeek

 

[Yakker]

Nice melt dumbarse.

You can't rush these things. We are building to this.


Step - 1 - Notify League of Wonder Week

Step 2 - Get the Co-Captain to monumentally fu** - up - So the WOnders are the Topic of day

Step 3 A) B) C) D) - Release the Milestone Threads

Step 4 - Flog the Demons in a Marquee Rivalry Match

Step 5 - Complete celebration of all things Wonders

Step 6 - Let the Sweet F.A. Recover.

 

[Hate]

Dear Wig,

It's the Friday leading up to an early game in round 5. According to Hate's player stats spreadsheet your captain finished S28 on 345 games, so your LG is either terrible at maths or negligent in commemoration of a league legend.

Yours in SOI,
A93

Yeah, Wig, you peanut.

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

One thing I like about EJW (and there’s not many believe me) is that he’s not afraid to give his teammates s**t if they deserve it.

The bloke does operate with a frightening short fuse. Safe to say Sab is a little toasted, (volcano), spluttering for air (Tsunami) flattened (a bus just trundled past) etc. But all that is kept to our leadership thread - what?

 

[WaynesWorld19]

When did the WONDERS make WaynesWorld19 their captain?

Should I be offended at this ?

 

[Ned_Flanders]

Should I be offended at this ?

Possibly

Four * ups in the one teamsheet is up there