Your most embarrassing moment

[Caesar]

As primary school house captain, during the house spirit competition at the athletics carnival I was leading the spell-it-out chant over the megaphone and accidentally spelled Green without an R.

Several hundred kids gleefully screaming out ‘GEEN’ made me want to crawl into a hole and die.

 

[The hands of stone]

One of my clients was telling me about how she had been recovering from a recent car accident .
She uses a wheelchair full time .

I told her in front of her family and therapists it was great to see ' she walked away from the accident unharmed'

 

[Spitty_the_alpaca]

That fart that wasn't a fart......

 

[Catfish Alley]

I had the voice breaking one in about year 8. I was answering a question from the teacher in front of the whole class so that was embarrassing. I also had a teacher once slam me up against the wall at assembly in front of about 1200 kids and demand that I tuck my shirt in. He was a dick so that was more embarrassing for him in hindsight.

I've had a few sport ones. Missed a couple of point blank goals in football. And I've made some terrible drives off the tee in front of people. One time I sliced it onto the highway three times in a row.

I had a rookie nurse struggle with putting a catheter in me once. She tried a couple of times before calling over a team of nurses.

I think I posted this one in "Funny Things Your Kids Say" thread. I was in a fairly busy hotel pool with my loud talking son and he said "sometimes I lie to you, Dad". I asked "oh yeah, like when?" and he replied "like that time I said I don't pee in the pool". That was pretty funny though.

 

[Butters and Pepper]

The most embarrassing moment I saw was an Ernst & Young office romance that matured to a wedding within 12 months.

Many from the office, like myself turned up to celebrate this relationship. The two sides of the family on opposite sides of the church.........it was a beautiful day, a beautiful occasion and two beautiful people.

The only problem was the two families looked at each other and said "aunty.......cousin......sister". Holy F.......the to be husband and wife were related and only discovered they were cousins at the alter.

Did they still get married?

(If they were 2nd or 3rd cousins (instead of 1st), it may have still been legal?)

 

[Shell]

Yeah I believe 2nd or 3rd is ok. 1st big no no, unless you live in Shelbyville.

 

[Catfish Alley]

Even first cousin is legal I believe. Same with uncles and nieces/aunts and nephews.

 

[MatthewB]

Even first cousin is legal I believe. Same with uncles and nieces/aunts and nephews.

Did you know it's legal to marry your first cousin?

Although it may not be palatable or socially acceptable for some, it is legal to marry your first cousin in many states in Australia.

www.abc.net.au

 

[Power Raid]

Did they still get married?

(If they were 2nd or 3rd cousins (instead of 1st), it may have still been legal?)

they still got married and yes 2nd or 3rd

regardless, it is something you wished never happened and certainly wouldn't advertise to all your friends and work colleagues

 

[mr bagcroft]

I just asked a girl at Bakers Delight for a cinnamon finger bang...
Instead of a finger bun.
eating the bun now, I probs would have preferred a finger bang.
thats the worst for today at least,so far.

 

[Pistol Night]

I just asked a girl at Bakers Delight for a cinnamon finger bang...
Instead of a finger bun.
eating the bun now, I probs would have preferred a finger bang.
thats the worst for today at least,so far.

 

[craigos]

I just asked a girl at Bakers Delight for a cinnamon finger bang...
Instead of a finger bun.
eating the bun now, I probs would have preferred a finger bang.
thats the worst for today at least,so far.

Is cinnamon slang for the backdoor?

 

[Plugger35]

Is cinnamon slang for the backdoor?

That's a chocolate finger bang.

 

[iluvparis]

This is my x wifes most embarrassing moment, her and my young son were in a crowded doctors surgery waiting room and a rather rotund woman walked in and my son said for all to hear, mummy mummy is that the fat controller?

Me and my sister were having breakfast at a cafe once and this absolutely giant fat guy walked in the front door. There was a little kid at the table next to us who pointed at him and said 'Mum - is that man full?'

 

[iluvparis]

In year 12 our teacher was handing back marked assignments and I was a pretty good student - he handed me mine and the grade on the top was like a C or something. I just looked down at it and said 'well that is ****ing shit!'.

That's when my best mate tapped me under the shoulder and said 'ahh...that's not yours'. It was the student's sitting next to me

 

[Power Raid]

I just asked a girl at Bakers Delight for a cinnamon finger bang...
Instead of a finger bun.
eating the bun now, I probs would have preferred a finger bang.
thats the worst for today at least,so far.

brilliant

I walked into a patisserie in Paris, in circa 1995, a time when the french didn't really speak english. Walking to the counter nervously, I was thinking how do I say ham baguette in french.

I looked up to be served by the most beautiful girl in the world..............beautiful eyes and smile, tight body but amazing breasts. I was in love. I became even more nervous and to break the uncomfortable silence, as I tried to find the words, she says "you want de boof".

I couldn't believe my luck and readily accepted her amorous offer. She then handed me a beef baguette.


FTR I hate beef sandwiches

 

[Genghis Tron]

When I was a teenager a mate and I were tripping on acid when I decided to head to the shops to buy some toblerone (they had been on sale and it was all I could think about). We got to the shops where everyone looked extra ugly and my internal thoughts were spilling out verbally so I was already getting looks. Got to the toblerone and it wasn't on sale anymore. I ask one of the employees (who happens to be a mates mother) why they aren't on sale anymore and even though she explains it, I can't understand it. But I understand how awkward the situation was and as I stood there for five minutes repeatedly asking about toblerone I can feel myself mentally crumbling under the weight of embarrassment.

Ended up buying a cherry ripe.

Got a text from the mate whose mother works at the store that night, apparently she asked him if I was challenged when she got home.

 

[Moonwatcher]

The most embarrassing moment I saw was an Ernst & Young office romance that matured to a wedding within 12 months.

Many from the office, like myself turned up to celebrate this relationship. The two sides of the family on opposite sides of the church.........it was a beautiful day, a beautiful occasion and two beautiful people.

The only problem was the two families looked at each other and said "aunty.......cousin......sister". Holy F.......the to be husband and wife were related and only discovered they were cousins at the alter.

Kinda hot though.

 

[Moonwatcher]

Thanks iluvparis I was starting to think it was just me.

 

[craigos]

Pretty sure I told this story in the awkward flirting story thread but.

I forget how I met this girl but long story short I knew her name but didn't know how to say it (Indian Mum - European Dad). Anyways we're texting a bit and she hits me up to come over. It was pretty late so I rock up to this house and knock on the door. A panicked lady comes to the door and asks who it is, I say Craigos and she asks what do I want. I try and pronounce her daughters name but clearly not even getting close she starts to think I'm a bit 'touched'.

What seems like hours of this back and forth come to an end when the girl finally comes out of her room and to the front door to let me in.

I never returned to that house ever again.

 

[iluvparis]

I never returned to that house ever again.

Shocked - I thought the story was going to end with you finger banging her on the couch in front of her parents.

 

[emuboy]

Me and my sister were having breakfast at a cafe once and this absolutely giant fat guy walked in the front door. There was a little kid at the table next to us who pointed at him and said 'Mum - is that man full?'

I remember seeing something similar in Pacific Fair on the Gold Coast one time, this really fat guy who looked like the son of Mr. Creosote from Monty Python's Meaning of Life came waddling by and this little boy pointed at him and yelled out to his mother, "HEY MUM, WHY IS THAT MAN SO FAT?"

For obvious reasons I don't remember this very clearly, but after enjoying too many refreshments at a pub one evening many years ago I was escorted out by security not so much for throwing up IN the toilet, but rather OVER the toilet, in the room where the toilet was and down the front of myself. For some reason the bouncers didn't believe me when I told them I had food poisoning, and kicked me out.

 

[MarcMaverick]

One of my most embarrassing moment happened in 2006. I went to the cinema to watch Casino Royale and long story short everything was innocent enough nothing was untoward, until I got home and something that was stuck on my bag became unstuck. I didn't quite know what it was until my dad mentioned it was a condom. Somebody had sex in the cinema and their condom stowed-away in my bag.

 

[MarcMaverick]

That's a chocolate finger bang.

Milk Milk Lemonade
Round the corner Fudge is made

 

[HeathySure]

There was an election and i was in the queue to vote. I walked to the table and there was this stunning girl marking off the roll.I had a runny nose at the time. Anyway we made some small talk and i made her laugh, and then she asked me my name to mark me off, and i saw it so i leaned over to point at it, and this giant globule of snot dripped out of my nose onto the page. I will never ever forget the look of horror on her face. Ever.