Which makes it serious because you're now 'all in'.
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Women who date a-hole blokes
- Thread starter Cmarsh
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And thank god for that, would barely have gotten any roots without em, god bless em.
- Sep 6, 2005
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And not just them, but even attractive/normal people. They're single till about 30, as they screw around, travel, build their careers, real estate portfolio, etc, then they decide to "find someone" to settle down with. On the list of priorities it's like the last thing they do, and it's more a logical conclusion, a chronological step, a station along the train track of aging. They quickly find that someone, best possible match they can get in a "given" amount of time looking around shopping. It's like a business transaction rather than a relationship based on love.
And the divorce/break-up rates of relationships suggests it's not "all in" either. People bail at the first sign of inconvenience or someone better coming along, etc.
The only "serious relationship" that exists, is the one we have with our own self.
Well, no, they don't all bail. Divorce rate is around half. And I doubt that half leave for insignificant reasons.
You guys are so cynical! Are you single? Or just only experienced or seen bad relationships?
You guys are so cynical! Are you single? Or just only experienced or seen bad relationships?
- Sep 6, 2005
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Exceptions to the rule......but generally, it's true.
I think it's just perception based on what you've experienced. Same for me. You can't judge other peoples relationships just from seeing them walk past you in a food court.
Shell
Premium Platinum
I reckon I've dated one "a-hole" and I met him thru BF. This is basically what happened:
- "met" him thru PM/msn/etc, spoke to him for at least 2-3 months
- met him IRL at the footy, then progressed to a few dates.
- at this stage hooked up with him
- texts/msn/etc just stops goes nc
- -fine ok I move on, am disappointed tho-
- find out he's been talking s**t behind my back to another BF person I know IRL. This BF person tells me. Have a falling out with him. (cos I'm a crazy woman).
- about over a year? Later other guy comes crawling back PMs me.
- I ignore this PM
- He PMs me again
- I tell him to **** off
- He goes "okay then".
The End.
- "met" him thru PM/msn/etc, spoke to him for at least 2-3 months
- met him IRL at the footy, then progressed to a few dates.
- at this stage hooked up with him
- texts/msn/etc just stops goes nc
- -fine ok I move on, am disappointed tho-
- find out he's been talking s**t behind my back to another BF person I know IRL. This BF person tells me. Have a falling out with him. (cos I'm a crazy woman).
- about over a year? Later other guy comes crawling back PMs me.
- I ignore this PM
- He PMs me again
- I tell him to **** off
- He goes "okay then".
The End.
No.19
Cancelled
- Feb 21, 2015
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Well said. It shits me to see people my age (early-mid 20s) "get a boyfriend/girlfriend" to go along with their uni degree, job, and holidays. As if it's some criteria you need to fill before 30 or something, you'll be considered a failure if you don't have all of the above before a certain age.
Why would it s**t you if they're ok with it? I get it would s**t you if they keep asking why you don't have a girlfriend though.
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Wow that's an awful (but typical online) experience. That guy, whoever he is, should be ashamed of himself for not being straight down the line and honest. Should've said from the outset, even in initial PMs, nothing over the top, romancey....just let's hook up, have a coffee, etc. Then after it progressed to a few first dates....should've said.....just looking for a bit of casual fun, nothing serious, if you're keen, i'm keen, if not it's cool, we can stay BF friends online......and if wanting to then disappear after "doing the deed" (if the deed was done or elements of it).....should've been open and direct.....told you wanted just some fun, you were ok with that, i want to move on now from that, but will still be cool with you online.
But the worst thing was dishing out gossip and putting you down to that other BF person (whoever that is).
Being an arsehole is ok if you're open and direct, honest and cool, about it. But the way that person did all that....that wasn't arsehole, that was weak pathetic sniveling unmanly.
No.19
Cancelled
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The second bit. It's not explicitly asked but I think it's assumed that their mates should be in the same boat. Could be my insecurity/neurotic nature but I get the feeling they're judgmental about that type of thing
Shell
Premium Platinum
No sorry I left that part out- he was clear from the start he said "I do not want a relationship".
The going nc and talking s**t were the main parts I took offence at, and rightly so. Especially talking s**t- saying i was "easy" and rubbish. Please if that's "easy"... pfft.
Anyway, my friendship with the other guy was okay in the end and I moved on okay. And the other guy isn't on BF anymore, hasnt logged on for 4 years I think..
- Sep 6, 2005
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You put up with those. You had no choice in the matter. Family members is all fate. Born into it. You see how many mothers/fathers are still forced to love their kids, because "well they're my kids", after doing something criminal, or being loser drug-users, or being broke gamblers, etc. Same with kids hating their parents. Same with siblings who just don't get on at all. It's like even the BIGGER statistical reality that "family" isn't close.
As a very very old wise voodoo-practicing African woman told me once......blood may be thicker than water, but soul is thicker than blood.
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Still, he was weak about it. Unmanly. Always sad hearing such stories. However.....that's the internet for you. Why i ONLY do irl. As in, only engage in relationships/flings with people MET in real life, where you can immediately ascertain sparks or no sparks, etc.No sorry I left that part out- he was clear from the start he said "I do not want a relationship".
The going nc and talking s**t were the main parts I took offence at, and rightly so. Especially talking s**t- saying i was "easy" and rubbish. Please if that's "easy"... pfft.
Anyway, my friendship with the other guy was okay in the end and I moved on okay. And the other guy isn't on BF anymore, hasnt logged on for 4 years I think..
Shell
Premium Platinum
Fair enough.
BF has been pretty good for me tho. Had a LTR and have many many good friends thru this site. Several I'm meeting for dinner tomorrow night. I dont know where I would be if not for BF, seriously.
100% agree with re. other sites tho. I tried RSVP- omg was a ****ing nightmare, never again.
- Sep 6, 2005
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Nothing really IMPACTS your life....unless you let it impact your life. Meaning, ALL relationships are bullshit -- because people DO HAVE IT in them to just move on, not let others impact them. In death, in life, family, girlfriends, wives, children, friends, whomever. We can and do CHOOSE to when we CHOOSE to. So it's always there that they're meaningless, unless we decide to allow ourselves to be entrapped by them, to feel attached to them.
Life is all bullshit (lies).
You say "depressing"....but I'm just dealing in the deep truths and realities. Just so happens the deepest truths about "beingness" are negative and dark.
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No need to argue. It is a certainty....Life IS lonely and not enjoyable without relationships. I'm just emphasizing that relationships are bullshit, lies, meaningless (trivial) at their core. We indulge in them, and we DO and can spit them out whenever we mentally/emotionally are ready to. People, other selves, they're like clothes we wear from day to day rather than our actual flesh -- which is our own self.
our relationships with other humans are the most important things in life IMO. I strongly disagree with the cynicism ITT. If you disagree with the societal pressure to get married and settle down then that's one thing, but to dismiss everything as meaningless just because of your skewed perspective of the world is just close minded.
