Family & Relationships Describe the most irritating person/a$$hole you know

[WALL-e]

This is why boxing gyms s**t on regular gyms.

Reps for boxing gyms. No toss bags. Just people working hard.

 

[WALL-e]

Wow.... Big ROOBowski, you poor SOB.

 

[Illinois Nazi]

I had a mate that also said he wanted to be a game tester! Does that job even exist? I thinks it's just an urban myth.

Well I suppose somebody has to do it!

It wouldn't be as fun as it sounds, though - walk through this door, yes, tick. Walk into this wall, can't walk through it, yes, tick. Face in this direction, yes, everything displays correctly, tick.

Not just a case of sitting in a room playing games all day and suggesting enhancements to the programmers.

 

[Barry Zuckercorn]

In one of my first jobs out of uni back in the early 00's, this guy in my team used to get the maintenance guy to turn the lights off directly above and around his desk becaue he thought the lights were too bright and he felt like "a rabbit in freakin spotlights".

At one stage, he wore a sun visor on his head cos he couldn't cope with the light above his desk. Everyone else had the same lights above them, but nobody else ever had any issues.

He also told us that at home he'd rarely turn the lights on, even at nights he thought the glare from the TV was plenty of light, only turning on a lamp IN THE NEXT ROOM if a visitor came over and complained.

He also used to tuck the bottom of his pants into his socks (to keep his feet warm) apparently. It was the funniest sight when he'd walk to the photocopier or in the tea room or walking into a meeting.

 

[John Dorian]

Wax on.
Wax off.

 

[patsmith]

I really hope that the LMAN is just a created persona used to annoy his fellow co-workers, and he goes back to his mates after work and has a laugh about it. I did this at my old job; all the people I liked there had moved on, so I decided to create this ultra-arrogant alter-ego that did things quite similar to the LMAN. I even pretended to have OCD for about 2 months (I think I was starting to actually get it towards the end).

Eventually I decided that despite the fun I was having, I needed to move on. Occasionally I see my old workmates around, and I explained the situation to a couple of them. However, I have seen a few of the more gullible ones, and maintained the act for old time's sake.

I was probably the most irritating person they knew.

 

[charcoalchicken]

Roobowski we need an update on how that plane trip went.

 

[evo]

The house is a mess, it stinks, my food is all gone, I fear for the future of this country when she inevitably breeds around 13 kids all likely to named Jayden or Simba and my bank account has taken a hit but, **** it...she's leaving. She's leaving.
3.00pm, Wednesday, April 7th, 2010. The day I get my house back and the day Western Australias average I.Q drops significantly.

haha, love your work.

Surely there will be a Taylah as well.

 

[Ed_Gein]

Well I suppose somebody has to do it!

It wouldn't be as fun as it sounds, though - walk through this door, yes, tick. Walk into this wall, can't walk through it, yes, tick. Face in this direction, yes, everything displays correctly, tick.

Not just a case of sitting in a room playing games all day and suggesting enhancements to the programmers.

Have heard that. Apparently one of the most over rated jobs. Tedious and boring.

Feel sorry for ROObowski, i'd hate to live with someone like that.

But,

I work with probably the biggest ******** i've ever worked with. I'm usually the sort of person that gets the shits with someone, not say much, but get over it. This guy, i hate.

Biggest scab i've ever met. Won't pay for anything. From stories i've heard, when it's his shout at the pub always has an excuse to get out of it.

Massive staring problem. Always see him out the corner of your eye, just gawking. **** off man.

Loud, close talker and condescending. Constantly trying to undermine me and cut my grass at work. Sucks up to the boss the ****ing brown noser.

Big bark, small bite. Was always having small jibes towards a guy at work until the guy turned around, grabbed him by the shirt and threw him up against the wall and had a go back. The next day he was sheepish and apologised.

Fair to say, no one likes him at all. I could go on and on about this bloke. Really doesn't sound like much, but when it's all those sort of things put together i guess you could see why. Not to mention when you have to work with him everyday...

 

[Illinois Nazi]

Someone better go round and check on Roobowski - I fear his cousin chose not to leave and he is swinging from a tree in the backyard.

 

[Bowski]

Someone better go round and check on Roobowski - I fear his cousin chose not to leave and he is swinging from a tree in the backyard.

Have to admit I had a good chuckle at this one.

Thankfully she made it onto the plane. I then promptly went out and painted the town red.

Easily the most brutal car trip of my life. And i've driven the nullabor. Only an hours trip from my place to the airport but god damn if she didn't try her darndest to drag it out.

I packed her bags.

I confirmed the flights.

I drove her there.

I walked her through the gates

s**t about the only thing I didn't do was say goodbye or brush her teeth (which I doubt she ever did).

The entire car ride she's asking me stupid stupid questions. Who do you think is hotter Brad Pitt or Mat Damon? Would Pavlich go out with an 18 year old? Will I get to go into first class if i'm the first there?

It went on.

The kicker was when she suggested making this a monthly trip. Honestly I should have told her to not bother with the seat belt and let Lewis Hamilton drive her to the airport.

Needless to say I shut that idea down pretty quickly.

Anyway, we got there, I shoved her through the gate carrying her bags with a skip in my step and once she was all logged in, away I went.

A happy man.

Even the insane parking fee didn't bother me, nor the discovery when I got home that all my toiletries had been watered down, she had spilled nail polish remover on my hardwood floor in the guest room. Hell, I didn't even blink when I saw that she had been going through my bank statements.

She's gone. My dog is alive. I had a great night (during which I bought a massive toblerone and bit the top off of every triangle...i don't even like them that much but god it was good), I surely raked up a million good karma points for not killing her (or a million bad ones depending on how you look at it) and I have learnt to avoid that side of the family like the plague from now on.

Ding dong the bitch is gone.

 

[Power King]

^I feel like I've been on this journey with you, surviving till the end. How can one person do so many idiotic things on such a regular basis?

Ding dong indeed.

 

[scooterb]

Honestly I should have told her to not bother with the seat belt and let Lewis Hamilton drive her to the airport.

Brilliant.

 

[treefingers]

She's gone. My dog is alive.

haha

 

[Invigoration]

Did she say thanks in the end? I must say, I'm dying to see a picture of her. I have this awful image of a fat, pug dog looking troll thing in my mind...

Brad and Micko will be happy anyway.

 

[Illinois Nazi]

Did she have time to receive her boof in the bum from that bloke who bought her Macca's before she left?

 

[WALL-e]

RooBowski needs to be knighted.

 

[Coolangatta]

will i get to go into first class if i'm the first there?

Ahahahaha.

 

[charcoalchicken]

kudos to you roobowski for not being a dick to her the time when she was staying over which would have been pretty easy to do, she sounds like she shouldn't reproduce and is dumb as dogshit.

 

[Coolangatta]

That "woman" is an example of why we need eugenics.

 

[nicky]

I know a guy at work his name is Larry or as he likes to be called 'L.MAN' he's literally 6.8ft tall, a lanky giant with a balled head and a stupid goatie.

He sits at his desk karate chopping any pencil that needs to be sharpened even if they aren't his, always asking people to hold the pencil for him while he raises his hand yelling "WAX ON" then he chops saying "WAX OFF" seriously the guy is about 35yo.

But thats not even the worst, whenever someone says something like "I'm off to the toilet" or even the 'weather is nice today' he will scream "TAXI!" it doesn't even make sense.

L.MAN also has a stupid obsession with scrunching up paper and I mean if he needs to chuck out a 10 page print he will tightly scrunch up every sheet and take them to the end of the hallway where he will bowl them into the bin 5m away screaming "Donald! Clean Bowl" "Polick, clean Bowl" yes he's a South African fan and he's bloody Australian.

He insists that everyone knows how fast he is at touch typing making immature comments like "Geez Rich, your not that quick at typing." Even asking people for a iphone SMS type off, what a *ing dick!

He asked every girl in the office every ****ing day "Do you think my goatee needs a trim" While he ponders it like a stupid wizard.

I could honestly go on and on, the guys is easily the biggest dick I know.

NO-ONE can beat the "L.MAN"

Lman sounds hilarious

 

[nicky]

My cousins daughter (18) had a big bust up with the family. My cousin asked me if I could just have the kid at my house for a bit while things settle down. Never met the kid before as the cousins are from WA and to be frank I just never visit.

I thought i'd do the right thing by my family so I say yeah send her over.

I pick her up from the airport and god damn; I can see why her family dumped her on me. Easily the stupidest girl I have ever met, dumb as dog s**t. I organised a job for her at a local nursing home since she claimed she wanted to work with elderly. Worked there one day, cracked the shits and now just stays home all day.

So now she spends all her time eating my god damn food, watching the television and talking on the phone to some pricks called Brad and Micko about how big their dicks are. The strange thing for me is, and this may come off as a little harsh, you would think such an ugly ugly child would have a bit of humilty. She reminds me of a pit pull after a punt to the face.

She chats non-stop through out every thing on televison, even when she's the only one in the room. I tried to watch the football yesterday and every five seconds it was "he's hot", "ball!" (when the ball went out of bounds) or some other irrititating s**t.

She rented Twilight the other day and slapped it in the dvd player, fair enough I thought. I'll do some paper work and then come out when she's done and watch something. My office area is next to the loungeroom so I can hear the televison. The movie ends (she claps) and I get up to move into the next room. I watch in disbelief as she take out the dvd and puts it back in (I assume she thinks that needs to be done) and starts the movie again! I mean honestly, I could have been knocked down with a feather.

The killer for me was after getting home late one night from work, wrecked tired I thought i'd reward myself with a drink. Went to the fridge and the little scrag had polished off an entire 6 pack.

I've tried to do the right thing by family here, but there's a limit. I'm saving to travel and this skank is draining my account. I know for a fact her parents gave her a credit card to pay for things but does she offer? No. I'm to pigheaded to ask but still.

Not once during the her enitre stay has she said thankyou or asked if she could have something before taking it.

I told my cousin that I have a work trip so she had better go back home, when she suggested that the brat stays at my house alone I blurted out "God no".

I still have 3 more days with this abomination untill she leaves.

(sigh) it's good to vent.

Genuinely lol'd.

Has she gone?

 

[nicky]

Her mother always coasted by on looks, thick but at least she's polite. The father however is a complete knobhead. The kind of twat that gets a kid who works for him so drunk at a worksite that he falls into a ditch, breaks his leg and then dodges the fine for an unsafe work environment because the kid was drunk on the job. Filth.

I can easily see how this kid turned out the way she did, I'm typing this while she is in the next room chatting to some prick.

Here is a summarised version of what i've had to listen to the last 2 HOURS.

"hiya...WHA?...oh yeah. Well he's full into yous and mes (yes she said mes plural as well) Nah he's a ********.

WHA? oh yeah he messaged mes the other day saying oi will you suck it? I was like nah I barely knows yous (not a typo. she said knows yous)

WHA?...Oh no I will eventually, he's hot as but I just dont want to be a **** like that mole Trista that lives next door to yous.

Then his bro texts me 5 minutes later asking if i'll cop a boof in the bum (giggles like a * in a ball pit) WHA? oh yeah i'll let him do it. He bought me Maccas that time remember"

And it goes on. I wish I was making this s**t up, my music can only play so loudly and while the walls can be trembling from the force of my speakers her inane bullshit pierces through.

It hurts my brain listening to her.

THat is very funny more stories?

 

[nicky]

the entire car ride she's asking me stupid stupid questions. Who do you think is hotter brad pitt or mat damon? Would pavlich go out with an 18 year old? will i get to go into first class if i'm the first there?

.

:d:d:d:d:d

What did you say to her to shut down her idea of staying with you on a monthly basis?

 

[vonn]

hilarious.. top effort roobowski.