Regular Season: Houston
Every year a new version of the iPhone is released to much fanfare. New Features! Upgraded Capabilities!
When this latest version is released, iPhone disciples (who worship at the altar of Steve Jobs), line up outside Apple stores until that moment the doors open and the Apple staff clap, hoot and holler, creating an artificial celebratory atmosphere as the lucky customers at the front of the queue enter the store and buy their fancy gadget of the future.
The 2013/14 Houston Rockets are the latest version of the Dwight-centric teams that originated in Orlando. And this new Houston version has New Features! (a feisty, defensive Point Guard) and Upgraded Capabilities! (The Ball-handling, 3-pt shooting role has been evolved from Turkoglu into Harden).
Yes, the newly-outfitted 2013/14 Houston Rockets team debuted to much fanfare this season, with Rockets disciples (who worship at the altar of Daryl Morey) believing in things like, say, an effective Howard/Asik twin tower pairing.
(You'll remember that Asik, along with Jeremy Lin, were acquired via the poison-pill provision...although you have to wonder who it is that got 'poisoned' in both of those instances).
Like the iPhone, the "surround Dwight with shooters strategy" seemed like a revolutionary new product when first introduced. Now you have to wonder whether the latest implementation of that product is still revoultionary enough to shake up the 2014 Playoffs.
Regular Season: Portland
Deep down, we knew the answer.
Sure, as the season began, we were all mesmerised by the Blazers offense: The simultaneous curling cuts of Nicolas Batum & Wes Matthews – one going from the wing to the opposite corner while the other moved in harmony from that opposite corner to the wing – in a pattern reminiscent to the Pinwheel on the Blazers logo.
And then of course, there was the mid-range shooting of LaMarcus Aldridge. He continually gathered the ball on the left block, turned over his right shoulder and hit the fadeway in a manner that felt unnaturrally smooth for a human being his size.
…But, when we thought to oursleves "Is this team for real?", deep down, we knew the answer: "It can't last."
And so, slowly but surely the Blazers fell back down to earth.
The Aldridge jumpshot started missing the target. Lillard eventually ran out of the magic dust that he used to singlehandedly crush the souls of oppostion teams at the end of games. Every 2nd Blazers-related post on BigFooty became some variation of "Please get Mo Williams off the court!"
Now Portland, which hovered around the top of the Western Conference standings for a good month or so, find themselves without home court advantage. Of course, not many believed Portland was a Playoff team before the season began, so you can hardly call the outcome of a 5th seed disappointing.
And finally, yet another new season is upon us: the Playoffs. Can the Blazers defy expectations yet again? It’d make for a great story, but deep down, I think we all know the answer to that question.
Season Series: 3-1 Rockets
Key Questions
- This series is not about defense; it is destined to be a shootout. Which team can best get their offensive machine humming?
- Can the Blazers stop the Rockets from getting to the foul line? The Rockets attempted league leading 31.2 Free throws per game.
- Portland relies so heavily on their starters. Can they get any bench contributions at all?
- Following on from the previous 2 points: Robin Lopez must stay out of foul trouble and avoid exposing the weak Blazers backup bigs to the attacking game of the Rockets.
- Will Damian Lillard be affected by Patrick Beverley's antics? The two have already exchanged words this season:
Lillard on Beverley:
Beverley on Lillard:
Random Youtube Clip:
Damian Lillard is ready for the playoffs:
Pointless All-NBA Team
James Harden has undoubtedly had a great season, perhaps All-NBA First team worthy. But we've all had a little chuckle at his defensive exploits during the season. The way he loses his man on backdoor cuts, or how he stands flat footed as his man drives past him, only to give a cursory, too-late swipe at the ball as his opponent drives in for an easy layup.
Here is the All-NBA Team of "Players BigFooty posters most enjoyed laughing at because of their pathetic defensive efforts":
C: Amar'e Stoudamire
F: Andrea Bargnani
F: David Lee
F: Kevin Love (well, maybe we didn't laugh at his D here on BigFooty, but Tyson Chandler doesn’t seem to think much of it)
G: Harden
