The Sexodus.

[telsor]

Bingo

The issue is complicated

Really, the ones you *really* want are the ones who are completely unavailable...Already in relationships, and unwilling to cheat. Next best (as a broad generalised category) is probably widows.

Apart from that, anyone who has had a relationship is, to some degree, 'damaged goods', and like any relationship, the trick is finding a partner with whom the good is fantastic and the bad is tolerable.

 

[Taylor]

I don't see what was wrong with what he said. If I had children I'd want to be the only father figure in their life and I'd feel pretty uneasy about having another man outside of the family playing a parenting role in their life. It is a sad reality though.

Pick the right girl to create life with?
That's what we learn growing up, and that if the worst happens he can take off and it's all down to you.

 

[telsor]

I don't see what was wrong with what he said. If I had children I'd want to be the only father figure in their life and I'd feel pretty uneasy about having another man outside of the family playing a parenting role in their life. It is a sad reality though.

It's a fact of life these days that it happens a lot.

Having been the 'other guy', the only bit that worried me was being unsure where the lines were on what I could/couldn't do as the semi-parental 'authority figure'.

 

[fleabitten]

I just want to say thank you.

There is no way in the world I would want my daughter anywhere near you or anyone like you if you were to meet my ex partner online.

If she is going to have another man in her life, let it be someone who is decent, keen to get to know her and keen to be a positive influence in her life, and not simply obsessed with the potential financial burden they may be taking on (despite the fact most separated biological fathers support there own children financially - which means im the one to be avoided I guess because I am a single dad and have full custody and my ex pays me bugger all but anyway let's not go there)

So again, thank you for your wilful selectivity.

I'm gonna go there just long enough to say "same here". Or at least, i was single (I've since re-married). Less than $600 in total over the last 10 years while she also acted abusively and expected me to do all the work when she felt like seeing the kids. I sought mediation to try to create a better relationship for the kids' sake, but it ended up just being a bunch of women telling me what I had to do to improve things.

 

[RisingPhoenix]

I'm gonna go there just long enough to say "same here". Or at least, i was single (I've since re-married). Less than $600 in total over the last 10 years while she also acted abusively and expected me to do all the work when she felt like seeing the kids. I sought mediation to try to create a better relationship for the kids' sake, but it ended up just being a bunch of women telling me what I had to do to improve things.

$600 over ten years.

Classy.

I did slightly better than that.

Slightly.

The sad thing is society has a word for blokes like that.

The Jess Valenti's of this world would probably go even harder.

But when a women behaves that way..."just a victim" etc etc.

And no matter what crazy s**t they have been into....they always have a indistinquishable right to "there" child as a "mother".

Meanwhile women can make up any lies they want about the father of there child and he and his family can be rubbed out like they are nothing.

Load of shite.

Then you have certain clowns on here who have the hide to accuse any man who dares to suggest 'things aren't working' of being some mysogynist, neo nazi, sex predator.

 

[Taylor]

But when a women behaves that way..."just a victim" etc etc.

Just like the man will from his side of the story.

You really need to leave emotions at the door to discuss emotional situations.

OMG, a non emotional woman!

 

[Danny Cullen]

Not sure if on topic but, If you have your kids 3 or 4 nights over a seven day period child support is negligible. Women know this and hence deliberately restrict it to 1 or 2 days. As far as I can tell, they are advised this by the authorities. Disgraceful. I am currently being taken to the cleaners child support wise because I earn a decnt wage and she doesn't coupled with this purposefully restricted access.

The whole system is a joke.

 

[Taylor]

Not sure if on topic but, If you have your kids 3 or 4 nights over a seven day period child support is negligible. Women know this and hence deliberately restrict it to 1 or 2 days. As far as I can tell, they are advised this by the authorities. Disgraceful. I am currently being taken to the cleaners child support wise because I earn a decnt wage and she doesn't coupled with this purposefully restricted access.

The whole system is a joke.

Depending on how far you live from their school a even split could really mess with their morning and afternoon routines to and from school.

 

[RisingPhoenix]

Just like the man will from his side of the story.

You really need to leave emotions at the door to discuss emotional situations.

OMG, a non emotional woman!

The difference is the system and arguably society at large is set up to view women as the victim - always, everytime.

A bloke tries to play that card and he is laughed at.

 

[evo]

Just dug up the old login and did a quick check of my local area (not sure how you got 8000, mine seems to stop at '600+').

.

It says 600+ but if you scroll through you see that it goes into the 1000s

 

[Taylor]

The difference is the system and arguably society at large is set up to view women as the victim - always, everytime.

A bloke tries to play that card and he is laughed at.

Laughed at by whom?

 

[telsor]

Depending on how far you live from their school a even split could really mess with their morning and afternoon routines to and from school.

I really think the best system for the kids would be that they have the house, and both parents have a small flat they live in, moving into the house when it's their turn to have custody.

Give the kids the consistency in their lives and let the parents chop and change.

 

[telsor]

[QUOTE="telsor, post: 36361197, member: 11861]Just dug up the old login and did a quick check of my local area (not sure how you got 8000, mine seems to stop at '600+').

It says 600+ but if you scroll through you see that it goes into the 1000s

I really didn't care that much...

 

[Taylor]

I really think the best system for the kids would be that they have the house, and both parents have a small flat they live in, moving into the house when it's their turn to have custody.

Give the kids the consistency in their lives and let the parents chop and change.

Three households to manage?

 

[telsor]

Laughed at by whom?

Look at earlier in their thread....

 

[telsor]

Three households to manage?

1 house & 2 small flats, rather than 2 houses (because both would need room to take the kids).

 

[Taylor]

Look at earlier in their thread....

I feel like it might be guys expecting each other to be super manly.

 

[telsor]

I feel like it might be guys expecting each other to be super manly.

Some of that too. In many ways, guys are other guys worst enemies, just as women are often other women's worst enemies.

 

[Taylor]

Some of that too. In many ways, guys are other guys worst enemies, just as women are often other women's worst enemies.

People suck sometimes

 

[telsor]

People suck sometimes

We live in hope...

 

[Taylor]

We live in hope...

The secret to a happy relationship, lots of oral communication.

 

[telsor]

The secret to a happy relationship, lots of oral communication.

Non verbal communication is, indeed, vital.

 

[smokingjacket]

Back to the OP, the main reason why no one without an axe to grind takes this sort of thing seriously is that it's internally contradictory. It's not outlining some sort of new phenomena or cultural shift, it's just a long whinge piece about the grievances of men in the modern world and then comes out with the conclusion that it's all feminism's fault.

Social commentators, journalists, academics, scientists and young men themselves have all spotted the trend: among men of about 15 to 30 years old, ever-increasing numbers are checking out of society altogether, giving up on women, sex and relationships and retreating into pornography, sexual fetishes, chemical addictions, video games and, in some cases, boorish lad culture, all of which insulate them from a hostile, debilitating social environment created, some argue, by the modern feminist movement.

Boorish lad culture is about as Australian as the merino sheep and goes back to the blokes who used to tend them. Germaine Greer spoke about this aspect of Australian masculinity in the 60's. It's not new, and the concept of males being afraid of females has an incredibly long historical pre-feminist movement.

That might sound like a good thing because it encourages men to take the unromantic but practical approach of asking women how they should behave, but it causes a lot of them to just opt out of the game and retreat to the sanctuary of their groups of lads, where being rude to women gets you approval, and you can pretty much entirely avoid one-on-one socialising with the opposite sex.
There are also a lot of blokes who ignore women because they are scared and don't know how to act. It goes without saying that boys who never spend any time alone with women are not very good at relationships.

I'm the first to admit that I'm quite emotionally lazy but if you've giving up on getting a root because you feel that asking a prospective female on her views is a bridge too far, then enjoy your COD.
The second line sounds like every teenage boy, ever.

Nobody in my generation believes they're going to get a meaningful retirement. We have a third or a quarter of the wealth previous generations had, and everyone's fleeing to higher education to stave off unemployment and poverty because there are no jobs.

Glad they had the decency to bring up the economy. Any chance that young men sitting around playing video games all the time could be better explained by the youth unemployment rate? In France that the author mentions the youth unemployment rate is 35%. UK it's 18% still not pretty. The lack of community the author speaks about could be far better explained by the neoliberal drive of the of the past few decades. Would also fit the time frame the author speaks about...

The new rules men are expected to live by are never clearly explained, says Rivlin

Hmmm, teach them? Problem solvered.

But even at such a prestigious university with a largely middle- and upper-class population, those patronising, mandatory "consent" classes are still being implemented.

Nope can't do that because it's patronising. What do you actually want guy?

Rivlin has noticed the increased dependence on substances, normally alcohol, that boys are using to calm their nerves. "I've heard a lot of male students boast about never having experienced sober sex," he says. "They're obviously scared, which is natural, but they would be a lot less scared and dysfunctional if they understood 'the rules.'

WHAT ******* RULES!?!? Don't stick it in her ear? Alcohol and sex are so linked with masculinity I'm sure you could find some Sumerian clay tablet explaining how a bloke brewed up a fresh batch of beer to get a couple of lagers in before he bedded his wife for the first time. This whole statement could be made at any point in English speaking history.

Meanwhile, boys are falling behind girls academically, perhaps because relentless and well-funded focus has been placed on girls' achievement in the past few decades and little to none on the boys who are now achieving lower grades, fewer honors, fewer degrees and less marketable information economy skills. Boys' literacy, in particular, is in crisis throughout the West. We've been obsessing so much over girls, we haven't noticed that boys have slipped into serious academic trouble.

Fair point that I'd be willing to concede if the author hadn't previously used the quote of a young man - "everyone's fleeing to higher education to stave off unemployment and poverty because there are no jobs." How do you flee to higher education? Do these men want to be be better educated? Can we better explain this again through economic means? Say, the hollowing out of the traditional manufacturing and working class jobs of men that didn't require higher education? Most of the new jobs being created in the West are in the service industry. Strength and masculinity rarely gives men an advantage in this area as might have happened previously.

feminist Establishment that has such a stranglehold on teaching unions and Left-leaning political parties?

Questionable, but that's a pretty short list anyway.

I can tell you as a heterosexual married male in management, who didn’t drop out of society, the message from the chicks is: 'It's not just preferable that you should * off, but imperative. You must pay for everything and make everything work; but you yourself and your preferences and needs can * off and die.

Again with the contradictions. Are women engaged in a "zero-sum struggle for sexual, social, political and economic status" or are they welching off of their strong married men? Ploise Exploin.

Most troublingly, this effect is felt more acutely among poorer and less well educated communities, where the package of support resources available to young men is slight.

Would the author be happy if we improved our education system? No because this isn't aimed at fixing anything, or even adequately explaining the problem from an academic standpoint. This is just a compilation of grievances of issues affecting young men (and women too) who haven't realised the world, and masculinity has changed from their fathers era. Instead of pretending that it can be reversed by scapegoating the wrong target, it would be more beneficial to show them it's not going back to how it was before for a large number of reasons of which feminism is probably the least important.

 

[WA ROO]

There are plenty of journos around who write considered balanced pieces. They aren't hard to find. You can even the occasional one in the Dirty Diggers publications.

Anything that comes out of the Breitbart stable isn't journalism it's extreme right wing propaganda. As Huffington Post wrote about Breitbart before he croaked:



He was the equivalent of Alan Jones and those that still publish under his banner follow in his footsteps. Lots of heat. But not much objectivity.

I'm pleased you got something from the hyperbole though.

ROFL quoting Huffpo

 

[AM]

ROFL quoting Huffpo

Ignorance has that affect on some people.