- Joined
- Jul 8, 2002
- Posts
- 15,048
- Reaction score
- 20,114
- Location
- Why? You stalking me?
- AFL Club
- West Coast
- Other Teams
- Whoever's winning
So at the start of this season I got new seats at Subi for myself and my son, behind the goals at the city end. Not a bad spot, looking into the sun in the afternoons of course, but you've got to be happy just to get seats at all.
Around us is the usual assortment of people who have had the same seats for years and are familiar with each other. Immediately in front is a group of four seats taken up by two couples. One of the women I could not help but mentally christen the Lipstick Pitbull within minutes of the first game starting. Think western suburbs, cashed-up bogan wife, husband in mining/resources industry, doesn't work herself, MASSIVE sense of entitlement and you'll know the type. Far more interested in talking about herself than actually paying any attention to the game. The sort of woman Bunsen Burner/quickstraw would love to rant about.
I thought she might be thread worthy early on, but I wasn't sure if she could maintain the pace. It's now clear she can, so here it is.
Round One v Western Bulldogs
She was there for the opening round, with her friend from Geraldton (the other couple in the seats). I don't know what wine they serve in the plastic cups at Subi, but it's got to be cheap and nasty. I should have started this thread back then so I could have remembered more details, but suffice to say drunk and embarrassing are words that would be in there. I learned more about her than I really cared to know in that game. Among the details I recall are that her girls go to St Mary's (not particularly classy private school in midwestern suburbs), she knows John Worsfold personally, her girls to St Mary's, her girls go to St Mary's, she knows John Worsfold personally and her girls go to St Mary's.
The guy sitting to my right is obviously another long term resident, and she turned her attention to him late in the game, apparently mistaking sitting near someone at the footy for being lifelong friends. She demanded to know what he did for a job, something he clearly didn't want to go into as he awkwardly fended off the question about six times saying only he worked for the government. Then she tried to persuade him to join them for dinner in Subiaco after the game (something her Geraldton friend clearly didn't want to do either) and asked if he would like to meet John Worsfold (as she knows him personally). The guy was clearly traumatised by this experience, as he came to the Round 3 St Kilda game but hasn't been back since.
Near the end of the game, for some reason she decided to head down to the boundary fence and fell face first down the steps in the aisle, to the suppressed mirth of the surrounding crowd.
Round Three vs St Kilda
Round Five vs Port Adelaide
No show from the LP.
Round Seven vs Fremantle
She was back for this one. Restricted to drinking beer only this time, as hubby admitted when she wasn't in her seat, because of the Round One performance. Still had a fair crack at being a drunken disgrace but didn't reach the same heights. There were some highlights, which I sadly can't recall now, other than some abuse hurled at Ballantine (fair enough) and asking during the fourth quarter whether Pavlich was playing. Other than that it was mostly talking to Geraldton who for reasons I can't be bothered explaining was sitting in a spare seat next to me for the second half, meaning that LP was facing toward the action even less than normal.
Round Eight vs GWS
Mother's Day. Everyone around was noting happily that she wasn't coming along for this one, but she turned up ten minutes into the first quarter with daughters (who I think go to St Mary's) in place of the Geraldton couple. The presence of the girls meant she didn't get as smashed this time. She did insist on taking a number of selfies with the girls, and as any parent knows getting your kids to just go along with it and smile for a photo with mum/dad in a public place can be quite a challenge but I think she eventually got something satisfactory.
When Naitanui kicked his goal in the third, she announced to all that did you know he is getting a million dollars a year now? Well, I'm thinking a crowd of footy followers probably were aware of this piece of news this week, and no he isn't getting a million dollars a year at all.
Highlight of the day came when the older girl (who looked very early teens) asked something innocuous about why her younger sister couldn't do something or other. "The same reason you can't do some things, like colouring in. You've got the worst colouring in I've ever seen. I've seen Downsies do better colouring than you."
And they left at three quarter time.
Around us is the usual assortment of people who have had the same seats for years and are familiar with each other. Immediately in front is a group of four seats taken up by two couples. One of the women I could not help but mentally christen the Lipstick Pitbull within minutes of the first game starting. Think western suburbs, cashed-up bogan wife, husband in mining/resources industry, doesn't work herself, MASSIVE sense of entitlement and you'll know the type. Far more interested in talking about herself than actually paying any attention to the game. The sort of woman Bunsen Burner/quickstraw would love to rant about.
I thought she might be thread worthy early on, but I wasn't sure if she could maintain the pace. It's now clear she can, so here it is.
Round One v Western Bulldogs
She was there for the opening round, with her friend from Geraldton (the other couple in the seats). I don't know what wine they serve in the plastic cups at Subi, but it's got to be cheap and nasty. I should have started this thread back then so I could have remembered more details, but suffice to say drunk and embarrassing are words that would be in there. I learned more about her than I really cared to know in that game. Among the details I recall are that her girls go to St Mary's (not particularly classy private school in midwestern suburbs), she knows John Worsfold personally, her girls to St Mary's, her girls go to St Mary's, she knows John Worsfold personally and her girls go to St Mary's.
The guy sitting to my right is obviously another long term resident, and she turned her attention to him late in the game, apparently mistaking sitting near someone at the footy for being lifelong friends. She demanded to know what he did for a job, something he clearly didn't want to go into as he awkwardly fended off the question about six times saying only he worked for the government. Then she tried to persuade him to join them for dinner in Subiaco after the game (something her Geraldton friend clearly didn't want to do either) and asked if he would like to meet John Worsfold (as she knows him personally). The guy was clearly traumatised by this experience, as he came to the Round 3 St Kilda game but hasn't been back since.
Near the end of the game, for some reason she decided to head down to the boundary fence and fell face first down the steps in the aisle, to the suppressed mirth of the surrounding crowd.
Round Three vs St Kilda
Round Five vs Port Adelaide
No show from the LP.
Round Seven vs Fremantle
She was back for this one. Restricted to drinking beer only this time, as hubby admitted when she wasn't in her seat, because of the Round One performance. Still had a fair crack at being a drunken disgrace but didn't reach the same heights. There were some highlights, which I sadly can't recall now, other than some abuse hurled at Ballantine (fair enough) and asking during the fourth quarter whether Pavlich was playing. Other than that it was mostly talking to Geraldton who for reasons I can't be bothered explaining was sitting in a spare seat next to me for the second half, meaning that LP was facing toward the action even less than normal.
Round Eight vs GWS
Mother's Day. Everyone around was noting happily that she wasn't coming along for this one, but she turned up ten minutes into the first quarter with daughters (who I think go to St Mary's) in place of the Geraldton couple. The presence of the girls meant she didn't get as smashed this time. She did insist on taking a number of selfies with the girls, and as any parent knows getting your kids to just go along with it and smile for a photo with mum/dad in a public place can be quite a challenge but I think she eventually got something satisfactory.
When Naitanui kicked his goal in the third, she announced to all that did you know he is getting a million dollars a year now? Well, I'm thinking a crowd of footy followers probably were aware of this piece of news this week, and no he isn't getting a million dollars a year at all.
Highlight of the day came when the older girl (who looked very early teens) asked something innocuous about why her younger sister couldn't do something or other. "The same reason you can't do some things, like colouring in. You've got the worst colouring in I've ever seen. I've seen Downsies do better colouring than you."
And they left at three quarter time.
