The off topic thread 3.0

[jod23]

Yeah I guess. We were together for 8 years.

How long ago did you make the split? Are you with someone new now? Are you still in contact with her? Did she get over you and move on? Is there any hope at all?

 

[pantskyle]

How long ago did you make the split? Are you with someone new now? Are you still in contact with her? Did she get over you and move on? Is there any hope at all?

Almost three years ago.
I am.
We are.
She did.
Sure is.

 

[SM]

How old are you mate? If you dont mind me asking. Have you never had a real serious relationship. I almost wish I was you. Cant take feeling like this anymore.

I wish it was so easy as just saying, well I only get one life, no point moping about this girl. Cos to me, she means everything to me in this life. So without her, this life feels a bit pointless.

****, im just a mess at the minute. Liverpool arent doing me any favours recently either.

Robertson will get you going again. When I saw his crosses for the first time it was love at first sight.

 

[Bojan KantKick]

It's so difficult mate. It's indescribable. Just sheer despair and helplessness. It feels like death. Like grief. It's horrible.

I've thought about a holiday. But I dont think a quick holiday would help me. 10 years or so ago when a different girl crushed my heart. I quit my job and ran off to Europe for 3 months, then ended up getting a job with Contiki while on my travels and was away from Perth for over a year. When I got back I was a lot better. Not fantastic but a lot better.

So I feel if I pack up and leave, I have to go for a long time. But that means leaving my job, my apartment, my family behind. Just when I felt like I was getting something settled with career and life.

don't make any big decisions mate whilst you aren't thinking straight. You've left bar work and sorted yourself out with a career. Don't throw it away for goodness sake.

 

[jod23]

don't make any big decisions mate whilst you aren't thinking straight. You've left bar work and sorted yourself out with a career. Don't throw it away for goodness sake.

Yeah that's what my mum keeps telling me. Dont throw away everything you have built. But every inch of my being is desperate to run.

But then when I stop and think about it. Like I thought I could head to England, see the Reds play, then go through Europe. But im nearly 37. My partying days are behind me. I dont like going to clubs and such. I dont look 37 or act 37 but I dont drink at all and I dont go out clubbing anymore.

Traveling on my own in Europe, without going out and getting blind and meeting people or trying to pick up. I think I will find myself sad and depressed and full of despair and grief. But in a hostel in the middle of Germany on my own, away from my family.

So while running away seems like a great idea, I dont think im in the frame of mind to be able to do it.

 

[Bojan KantKick]

Yeah that's what my mum keeps telling me. Dont throw away everything you have built. But every inch of my being is desperate to run.

But then when I stop and think about it. Like I thought I could head to England, see the Reds play, then go through Europe. But im nearly 37. My partying days are behind me. I dont like going to clubs and such. I dont look 37 or act 37 but I dont drink at all and I dont go out clubbing anymore.

Traveling on my own in Europe, without going out and getting blind and meeting people or trying to pick up. I think I will find myself sad and depressed and full of despair and grief. But in a hostel in the middle of Germany on my own, away from my family.

So while running away seems like a great idea, I dont think im in the frame of mind to be able to do it.

it's about to get cold, dark and dreary here mate. Not the best time to come. If you have leave then take it.

 

[SM]

Yeah that's what my mum keeps telling me. Dont throw away everything you have built. But every inch of my being is desperate to run.

But then when I stop and think about it. Like I thought I could head to England, see the Reds play, then go through Europe. But im nearly 37. My partying days are behind me. I dont like going to clubs and such. I dont look 37 or act 37 but I dont drink at all and I dont go out clubbing anymore.

Traveling on my own in Europe, without going out and getting blind and meeting people or trying to pick up. I think I will find myself sad and depressed and full of despair and grief. But in a hostel in the middle of Germany on my own, away from my family.

So while running away seems like a great idea, I dont think im in the frame of mind to be able to do it.

And you'd probably end up seeing Liverpool lose to wigan or something haha.

But seriously you're right, throwing everything away is the last thing you should do.

 

[Art Vandelay_]

Also thanks a lot guys for the replies, the advice and the not taking the piss out of me.

I really appreciate it.

Takes a pretty ****ed up individual to make fun of shit like this.

 

[RPCB]

Random.

Welcome to any topic ever called "Off topic".

 

[Latro]

Takes a pretty ****** up individual to make fun of shit like this.

Lucky Faith is banned then.

 

[jod23]

it's about to get cold, dark and dreary here mate. Not the best time to come. If you have leave then take it.

Think I should take leave, even if I dont go anywhere, even if I just crawl up into a ball in bed for a couple of weeks. Im not really functioning very well at work.

Sometimes I think, oh she must be struggling too and desperate to reach out and msg me. She must miss me etc. But then you realise they dont and that really sucks.

Thought this was it too. Sure she had two kids. But I love kids, am ready for my own and she said she wanted more. We get on SO well. We have the best banter with eachother, the sex is incredible. When it's just her and I in a room together, it just felt really right. I thought this is the girl im gonna grow old with. Never really felt like this before. Long term. Plus my age and I was really ready to settle down and make a life and a family.

Then this happens.

The sheer thought of having to start all over again feels completely impossible. Particularly at my age.

 

[jod23]

Sorry guys... just verbal diarrhea.

 

[Art Vandelay_]

Lucky Faith is banned then.

I won't lie, I had thought that.

 

[Bojan KantKick]

Sorry guys... just verbal diarrhea.

no mate, it's brave for you to post this stuff. Well done. Hope it helps you to get this stuff off your chest x

 

[jod23]

no mate, it's brave for you to post this stuff. Well done. Hope it helps you to get this stuff off your chest x

Cheers mate. Just having a really tough time of it at the minute. Really tough.

 

[glenferry23]

Hmm so you dont feel that the drugs helped you? Im against being medicated, even though I dont know, I might need it.

What's depression feel like mate? I think I might be battling some demons myself.

Firstly Jod, very sorry to hear about this. Certainly sounds like a tough situation and it takes a brave person to be so open about it within a forum like this. Respect.

In all seriousness, I did wonder if something was up with you. Randomly came to me the other day that I hadn't really noticed you posting much on this board as often the last few weeks, which you're normally very active with.

I was meaning to drop you a note to check in, apologies I didn't. All it takes sometimes is for someone to reach out and ask are you ok?

Secondly, it does sound like you are experiencing some depressive symptoms. It doesn't necessarily mean you have depression, but certainly your symptoms do appear like classic signals of depression. I think our understanding of depression, anxiety and mental illness has exponentially increased in recent years that we are now much more aware of the warning signals to consider.

There's no one definitive definition of depression I believe. It's more so a continuum of a few contributing factors which then impact the signals within your brain. Your situation (on face value) appears to be triggered by the traumatic event of your relationship breakdown, but that's not to say there wasn't an underlying issue to begin with.

This event may have exacerbated something that was already there, perhaps even still lingering from the previous situation that you've spoken of.

I wholeheartedly agree with you about medication, in the correct situations it absolutely is helpful but I too often see and hear of issues being misdiagnosed, and medication being prescribed too hastily (which unfortunately can make a situation worse).

But also, it can be a bit difficult seeking the proper help from the internet, so I echo the suggestions of the other lads here and reaching out to the right place. There's too much at stake here, it needs to be given the proper context.

Some quick suggestions I have is to perhaps focus on some of the things within your control, that are known to have an impact (ie, sleep, diet etc). Steps such as meditation can also greatly help to clear some clutter in your mind, enabling you to perhaps sleep better or not continually think of the same thing. Again, these are just suggestions and different things work for different people.

But overall, please seek some expert guidance here. And for the people in your life that you do love and cherish, tell them. Tell them how much you appreciate them and what they mean to you. We just never know what's going to happen tomorrow.

Time is more valuable than money, so to those we you do want to be spending your time with, go ahead and tell them.

Good luck and stay safe. All the best.

 

[Cruyff14]

I'M ENGAGED LADS!

 

[chef]

I'M ENGAGED LADS!

Congrats mate.

 

[BRAB]

I got a coles voucher!!!

 

[Brown Bottle]

Cheers mate. Just having a really tough time of it at the minute. Really tough.

Everyone does at some time mate. I've been married for 20 years and it hasn't always been good, but here I am. I know the feelings you talk of in terms of where you were at with your relationship, 4 years in, but maybe one day you'll see what she saw and realize it ended for the right reasons. That's better than feeling stuck somewhere you don't want to be down the track. You're still young enough to do everything you want to do, and then some, but you need to get started.

I have experienced some dark times but nothing like what you're talking about. Please do one thing, and soon - pick up the phone to Beyond Blue or Lifeline. Share the same stuff with them. It helps. A good mate of mine tried to take his life very recently (overwhelmed by business pressures) and I saw him for the first time in about two months last week. I can't describe the sense of relief. We (our local community) are trying to get around him and make sure he's got someone to talk to regularly because things pile up in a hurry. This place can be ok (in the right forums and threads) but imo there are more supportive environments for you.

 

[WealstoneRaider]

I'M ENGAGED LADS!

That’s good an all but not a very well timed post when a poster is going through a horrendous time with a relationship and is spilling his heart out. Have some decorum like you always tell others to

 

[BRAB]

That’s good an all but not a very well timed post when a poster is going through a horrendous time with a relationship and is spilling his heart out. Have some decorum like you always tell others to

Very true.

Extremely tone death

 

[Van_Dyke]

Sincerely hoping the best for you jod23, don't be shy about getting any help you need

 

[Zidane98]

I'M ENGAGED LADS!

Congratulations mate!!

 

[WealstoneRaider]

**** me you're a comedian

I must be a bad person then cos I laughed have to admit