Uncle Tony’s House - Grand re opening for S25!

[CALL ME SNAKE]

Hello stranger.

Oh no!!
You found me

 

[byebyexenxen]

Oh no!!
You found me
View attachment 437729

It's ok I won't tell fitzroybowiedog

 

[fitzroybowiedog]

tell me what?

 

[byebyexenxen]

tell me what?

Ummm nothing

 

[Tony Lynn 15]

tell me what?

 

[Dingster]

Ding checking in for Pie Night. I'll have three of what coach's lad is having.

 

[Tony Lynn 15]

Ding checking in for Pie Night. I'll have three of what coach's lad is having.

Okay a double epiphany coming up!

 

[Dingster]

Okay a double epiphany coming up!

Jeez I must have read the earlier post wrong.....but hey I'll roll with it.

 

[PhenomenalV1]

Tonight at the Cabana, we've got Shepards Pie!

 

[Tony Lynn 15]

Tonight at the Cabana, we've got Shepards Pie!

How good does that look!!

 

[KohPhi]

Ok... we ready for my Bali jail story?

 

[Tony Lynn 15]

Ok... we ready for my Bali jail story?

Yes!!

 

[Ant Bear]

Ok... we ready for my Bali jail story?

I've always thought Bali WAS a euphemism for jail...as in, "I've just come back from 6 months in Bali"

 

[byebyexenxen]

Ok... we ready for my Bali jail story?

Yes yes I am ready...

 

[byebyexenxen]

Ding checking in for Pie Night. I'll have three of what coach's lad is having.

You shouldn't eat so much! Not good for your health. So naughty!

 

[Dingster]

You shouldn't eat so much! Not good for your health. So naughty!

Who said anything about eating?

 

[byebyexenxen]

Who said anything about eating?

Oh oops it's not food...what was it?

 

[Dingster]

Oh oops it's not food...what was it?

Well that part is certainly questionable.

 

[TheCoach16]

Okay, so Uncle is back and tonight is Thursday night......PIE NIGHT!!!

If we all make him feel welcome we will have a special guest tonight. I have to say the lunch KohPhi and I had with him last week was bloody awesome and he had some stories that made my ******* eyes water! I reckon if we all make him welcome we might be able to get him to share this with the group. No pressure TheCoach16 but if you could share the wedding ring, the 3 day coconut oil and the mate that gave you a helping hand that would be great.

Manfred will be serving Pimms and the finest cubans in the smoking room for those who are interested!

Tony, are you sure? I’ve calculated that the combination of those three stories will probably result in me offending 94% of the league...

 

[Tony Lynn 15]

Tony, are you sure? I’ve calculated that the combination of those three stories will probably result in me offending 94% of the league...

Do it for the 6% Coach!

 

[TheCoach16]

Do it for the 6% Coach!

Ok, for the 6% !

But give me some time to put it together...

 

[Tony Lynn 15]

Ok, for the 6% !

But give me some time to put it together...

It will give me something to read at the airport early tomorrow! You are a legend Coach!

 

[KohPhi]

Ok so it's 1992 and me and the cricket boys are on an end of year trip to Bali. We are staying at the Kuta Beach Club, the dodgiest joint in Kuta.
Now I love Bali, Ive been there over 20 times. These days we stay in a nice private villa in Seminyak, private chef, pool etc. But back then not much of that existed and it was a bogun/yobbo paradise.
Every Saturday night they would run pub crawls in Kuta that would attract hundreds of revellers. So one particular Saturday night I entered the drinking competition. On this particular night, there would have been 60 odd entrants so we were broken up into heats and each heat was your country of origin. Ao there were Aussies, Kiwis, Yanks, Brits, Krauts and the Nords. Anyway after 3 or 4 heats, I end up beating the other Aussies and am in the final.
The final was 6 of us from different countries drinking a litre of beer poured down a hose and funnel from the second floor of Peanuts Nightclub. Because there were so many Aussies, I was heavily supported (there would have been 500 people in the club).
Anyway, I happened to win and there I was with 500 people chanting my name. To this day, it was as close as ill ever get to feeling like a God.
So my prize was free piss for the remainder of my trip at 4 participating venues that were part of the pub crawl.
One of them was the Sari Club. So the next night we all went to the Sari club. They had 25 or so cocktails on the menu all served in coconuts and being free for me, I started at one and went through to about 18 before realising I needed a piss.
So a mate and I went for a slash and im standing there at the urinal and I look around and this guy is staring at me so I say "Gday".
He just looks but doesn't say anything back, so I continue to take a piss. I look over again and he.is still staring at me. So I ask him where he is from and he still won't talk to me. I then tell him to stop staring at me or I'll belt him (yes, I was a flog). At this stage my mate is geeing me up saying "Belt him KohPhi" and "Dont take that shit from him" whilst laughing. (He didn't actually call me KohPhi lol).
So I look one more time and he is still staring at me so I throw a huge left haymaker right at his head.......

....... and proceed to punch my own reflection in a mirrored wall. Glass has shattered all over the ground, my mate has fallen over he is laughing so much and ive split about 4 knuckles open on my left hand.
So he helps me outside, ive never seen so much blood and people are spinning out.
One of my mates takes off his head band (it was the early 90's remember) and ties it around my arm to quell the bleeding.
He tied it so tight though that my arm started turning purple.
I couldnt get the fricken thing off so I looked around and saw the kitchen entrance. I barged off with one thing in mind and that was to get my arm free.
So picture this. Here I am, nearly 100kg, shaved head, arm and singlet covered in blood
and I burst through the door and pick up a buthchers knife. The poor Balinese cooks/kitchen hands started screaming and dived under benches, out a window and were petrified. At this point the coppers come in and pull guns on me. By this stage I've cut the armband off and so I drop the knife and about 6 of the suckers pounce on me.
So I end up back at the police station and I try and explain what happened. Then a dozen or so of my mates come around and you could see the coppers eyes turn into money signs.
Next thing im in a van and off to Kerobokan.
They made me sweat it out a couple of days before telling me I could pay a "fine" and leave.
A day or so later, the lads came up with the cash ( a grand U.S) and I was let go.
Once the money was paid, the coppers and jail guards acted like my best friend. They had pictures taken with me and gave me a police escort back to the Kuta Beach Club.

What a trip...

 

[Tony Lynn 15]

Ok so it's 1992 and me and the cricket boys are on an end of year trip to Bali. We are staying at the Kuta Beach Club, the dodgiest joint in Kuta.
Now I love Bali, Ive been there over 20 times. These days we stay in a nice private villa in Seminyak, private chef, pool etc. But back then not much of that existed and it was a bogun/yobbo paradise.
Every Saturday night they would run pub crawls in Kuta that would attract hundreds of revellers. So one particular Saturday night I entered the drinking competition. On this particular night, there would have been 60 odd entrants so we were broken up into heats and each heat was your country of origin. Ao there were Aussies, Kiwis, Yanks, Brits, Krauts and the Nords. Anyway after 3 or 4 heats, I end up beating the other Aussies and am in the final.
The final was 6 of us from different countries drinking a litre of beer poured down a hose and funnel from the second floor of Peanuts Nightclub. Because there were so many Aussies, I was heavily supported (there would have been 500 people in the club).
Anyway, I happened to win and there I was with 500 people chanting my name. To this day, it was as close as ill ever get to feeling like a God.
So my prize was free piss for the remainder of my trip at 4 participating venues that were part of the pub crawl.
One of them was the Sari Club. So the next night we all went to the Sari club. They had 25 or so cocktails on the menu all served in coconuts and being free for me, I started at one and went through to about 18 before realising I needed a piss.
So a mate and I went for a slash and im standing there at the urinal and I look around and this guy is staring at me so I say "Gday".
He just looks but doesn't say anything back, so I continue to take a piss. I look over again and he.is still staring at me. So I ask him where he is from and he still won't talk to me. I then tell him to stop staring at me or I'll belt him (yes, I was a flog). At this stage my mate is geeing me up saying "Belt him KohPhi" and "Dont take that shit from him" whilst laughing. (He didn't actually call me KohPhi lol).
So I look one more time and he is still staring at me so I throw a huge left haymaker right at his head.......

....... and proceed to punch my own reflection in a mirrored wall. Glass has shattered all over the ground, my mate has fallen over he is laughing so much and ive split about 4 knuckles open on my left hand.
So he helps me outside, ive never seen so much blood and people are spinning out.
One of my mates takes off his head band (it was the early 90's remember) and ties it around my arm to quell the bleeding.
He tied it so tight though that my arm started turning purple.
I couldnt get the fricken thing off so I looked around and saw the kitchen entrance. I barged off with one thing in mind and that was to get my arm free.
So picture this. Here I am, nearly 100kg, shaved head, arm and singlet covered in blood
and I burst through the door and pick up a buthchers knife. The poor Balinese cooks/kitchen hands started screaming and dived under benches, out a window and were petrified. At this point the coppers come in and pull guns on me. By this stage I've cut the armband off and so I drop the knife and about 6 of the suckers pounce on me.
So I end up back at the police station and I try and explain what happened. Then a dozen or so of my mates come around and you could see the coppers eyes turn into money signs.
Next thing im in a van and off to Kerobokan.
They made me sweat it out a couple of days before telling me I could pay a "fine" and leave.
A day or so later, the lads came up with the cash ( a grand U.S) and I was let go.
Once the money was paid, the coppers and jail guards acted like my best friend. They had pictures taken with me and gave me a police escort back to the Kuta Beach Club.

What a trip...

Welcome to pie night KohPhi!!

 

[Ant Bear]

Ok so it's 1992 and me and the cricket boys are on an end of year trip to Bali. We are staying at the Kuta Beach Club, the dodgiest joint in Kuta.
Now I love Bali, Ive been there over 20 times. These days we stay in a nice private villa in Seminyak, private chef, pool etc. But back then not much of that existed and it was a bogun/yobbo paradise.
Every Saturday night they would run pub crawls in Kuta that would attract hundreds of revellers. So one particular Saturday night I entered the drinking competition. On this particular night, there would have been 60 odd entrants so we were broken up into heats and each heat was your country of origin. Ao there were Aussies, Kiwis, Yanks, Brits, Krauts and the Nords. Anyway after 3 or 4 heats, I end up beating the other Aussies and am in the final.
The final was 6 of us from different countries drinking a litre of beer poured down a hose and funnel from the second floor of Peanuts Nightclub. Because there were so many Aussies, I was heavily supported (there would have been 500 people in the club).
Anyway, I happened to win and there I was with 500 people chanting my name. To this day, it was as close as ill ever get to feeling like a God.
So my prize was free piss for the remainder of my trip at 4 participating venues that were part of the pub crawl.
One of them was the Sari Club. So the next night we all went to the Sari club. They had 25 or so cocktails on the menu all served in coconuts and being free for me, I started at one and went through to about 18 before realising I needed a piss.
So a mate and I went for a slash and im standing there at the urinal and I look around and this guy is staring at me so I say "Gday".
He just looks but doesn't say anything back, so I continue to take a piss. I look over again and he.is still staring at me. So I ask him where he is from and he still won't talk to me. I then tell him to stop staring at me or I'll belt him (yes, I was a flog). At this stage my mate is geeing me up saying "Belt him KohPhi" and "Dont take that shit from him" whilst laughing. (He didn't actually call me KohPhi lol).
So I look one more time and he is still staring at me so I throw a huge left haymaker right at his head.......

....... and proceed to punch my own reflection in a mirrored wall. Glass has shattered all over the ground, my mate has fallen over he is laughing so much and ive split about 4 knuckles open on my left hand.
So he helps me outside, ive never seen so much blood and people are spinning out.
One of my mates takes off his head band (it was the early 90's remember) and ties it around my arm to quell the bleeding.
He tied it so tight though that my arm started turning purple.
I couldnt get the fricken thing off so I looked around and saw the kitchen entrance. I barged off with one thing in mind and that was to get my arm free.
So picture this. Here I am, nearly 100kg, shaved head, arm and singlet covered in blood
and I burst through the door and pick up a buthchers knife. The poor Balinese cooks/kitchen hands started screaming and dived under benches, out a window and were petrified. At this point the coppers come in and pull guns on me. By this stage I've cut the armband off and so I drop the knife and about 6 of the suckers pounce on me.
So I end up back at the police station and I try and explain what happened. Then a dozen or so of my mates come around and you could see the coppers eyes turn into money signs.
Next thing im in a van and off to Kerobokan.
They made me sweat it out a couple of days before telling me I could pay a "fine" and leave.
A day or so later, the lads came up with the cash ( a grand U.S) and I was let go.
Once the money was paid, the coppers and jail guards acted like my best friend. They had pictures taken with me and gave me a police escort back to the Kuta Beach Club.

What a trip...

You need to come to the Swamprats to learn how to handle your liquor