The Association Football Cricket thread

[Frank Bunn]

England are so hopeless at cricket.

I thought we had this discussion? With this series now decided, since 2005 it's even. England and Australia have both won 5 Ashes series and 2 drawn. But England can't win tests over here. It seemed that they abandoned Bazball as a tactic but some of the players weren't able to get out of that mindset.

 

[Art Vandelay_]

England have ball tampered in two Ashes series wins. Null and void results in 2005 and 10/11.

 

[Art Vandelay_]

 

[Mr Meow]

I thought we had this discussion? With this series now decided, since 2005 it's even. England and Australia have both won 5 Ashes series and 2 drawn. But England can't win tests over here. It seemed that they abandoned Bazball as a tactic but some of the players weren't able to get out of that mindset.

Count the amount of Ashes series this century where England have won 0 or 1 Tests. Where they've lost the Ashes after Test 3. Do the same for Australia. That's where the "hopeless" bit comes for the Poms. And compared to Australia, they still don't win home Ashes series with regularity.

 

[99 Problems]

I thought we had this discussion? With this series now decided, since 2005 it's even. England and Australia have both won 5 Ashes series and 2 drawn. But England can't win tests over here. It seemed that they abandoned Bazball as a tactic but some of the players weren't able to get out of that mindset.

Since 1989 Australia have won 55 Tests compared to 24 for England. Australia have won or retained the Ashes 15 times compared to Englands 5.

 

[Frank Bunn]

Count the amount of Ashes series this century where England have won 0 or 1 Tests. Where they've lost the Ashes after Test 3. Do the same for Australia. That's where the "hopeless" bit comes for the Poms. And compared to Australia, they still don't win home Ashes series with regularity.

2005 England won 2-1.
2009 England won 2-1.
2010-11 England won 3-1 (in Australia).
2013 England won 3-0.
2015 England won 3-2.
2019 Series drawn 2-2.
2023 Series drawn 2-2.

Have you run out of fingers to count England's wins?

Since 2005, it's even. Both have won 5 Ashes series and 2 drawn.

Australia hasn't won an Ashes series in England since 2001.

 

[Mr Meow]

2005 England won 2-1.
2009 England won 2-1.
2010-11 England won 3-1 (in Australia).
2013 England won 3-0.
2015 England won 3-2.
2019 Series drawn 2-2.
2023 Series drawn 2-2.

Have you run out of fingers to count England's wins?

Since 2005, it's even. Both have won 5 Ashes series and 2 drawn.

Australia hasn't won an Ashes series in England since 2001.

I'm explaining why the Poms are referenced to as hopeless in this context. The Aussies regularly make a game of it in England, whereas England have had one touring side this century that have done the same in Australia.

Another way I can explain it to a disingenuous person such as yourself is that since England last won an Ashes series in 2015, they have won 0 Tests in Australia and lost 11. In the same timeframe Australia have won 4 and lost 4 in England, retaining the Ashes on tour twice. That's the past decade where it hasn't been even at all. The Aussies could rightly be called hopeless in 2015 based on that decade leading up to that (albeit being more competitive on tour).

Anything else you need help with?

 

[RPCB]

 

[Mr Meow]

View attachment 2500062

If you had to simplify this century of Ashes Tests cricket:

-England: utterly hopeless in Australia, competitive at home.

-Australia: competitive in England, utterly dominant at home.

Based on total Test wins, series wins, whitewash series, Ashes holders/retention/reclamation.

 

[Art Vandelay_]

2005 England won 2-1.
2009 England won 2-1.
2010-11 England won 3-1 (in Australia).
2013 England won 3-0.
2015 England won 3-2.
2019 Series drawn 2-2.
2023 Series drawn 2-2.

Have you run out of fingers to count England's wins?

Since 2005, it's even. Both have won 5 Ashes series and 2 drawn.

Australia hasn't won an Ashes series in England since 2001.

I have no idea why you keep referencing two successes where they ball tampered.
In any case, we're at least competitive in England. They're abysmal in Australia.

 

[eth-dog]

How about this guy:

 

[RPCB]

Must say I am not following the prediction of “thrashing Australia” with a 3-2 series victory.

Edit: I just now read the second tweet. Catman vibes lol. At least the weather lady didn’t get blamed.

 

[Art Vandelay_]

One for Glen..

 

[glenferry23]

That’s ****ing embarrassing for England. To be pummelled in the series is one thing, but to have that behaviour on tour whilst you’re getting played off the park makes it significantly worse.

 

[RPCB]

The man who created the dumbest concept in test cricket history (Bazball) makes the equally dumb decision to take a bunch of Englishmen on a 9 day “let your hair down” trip to Noosa.

I am beyond shocked.

 

[Bradesmaen]

Cam Green is the new mitch marsh, seems undroppable. Must be a great guy in the dressing room or something.

 

[RPCB]

Just saw the Windies second inning collapse in the third test against New Zealand. They went from 0-87 to 5-98. They are seriously going to challenge the 27 they scored against Australia at some stage.

 

[RPCB]

Lol at England finally waking up at 3-0 down.

 

[eth-dog]

That's not out. They got it right the first time but wrong since

 

[glenferry23]

Of course England show up now that it doesn’t really matter. Another failure for Green, that was excellent work by Carse to run him out. Precision.

 

[eth-dog]

This third umpire is dogshit.

 

[RPCB]

This test is somehow shaping up to finish in less time than the first test.

 

[RPCB]

Lol at England finally waking up at 3-0 down.

This post has aged remarkably poorly.

 

[glenferry23]

Not much more England’s bowlers could have done, and in return their batsmen collapse again. 8 wickets in 21 overs, ****ing hell.

 

[TheGreatBarryB]

Shit pitch. Ball jumping all over the place.