Certified Legendary Thread The New Carlton Thread: 31st season without a flag for the eternal dickheads

[Pistol Night]

Losers on the radio crying because they have to play Sydney in Sydney and Adelaide in Adelaide, even though they once again have one of the easiest draws in the game.

AFL needs to realise that club is a lost cause and give up attempting to give them a leg up each year.

Adelaide in Adelaide? Pfft that's a lay up for decent clubs..

 

[WanderingDude]

Looking forward to the AFLW grand final. The two teams play very good football and should be a very entertaining match. But yo AFL, you own a stadium with great access and facilities. Why are you playing the match at the Carlton dunny bowl? Why is there an obsession with a ground that was passed as not fit for purpose?

 

[Timmy from Thomastown]

Looking forward to the AFLW grand final. The two teams play very good football and should be a very entertaining match. But yo AFL, you own a stadium with great access and facilities. Why are you playing the match at the Carlton dunny bowl? Why is there an obsession with a ground that was passed as not fit for purpose?

Probably because it’s cheap

 

[Vicky Park]

Looking forward to the AFLW grand final. The two teams play very good football and should be a very entertaining match. But yo AFL, you own a stadium with great access and facilities. Why are you playing the match at the Carlton dunny bowl? Why is there an obsession with a ground that was passed as not fit for purpose?

AFL has spent lots of $ on the stinking filthy pile of poo, in support of women’s footy. So it’s not such a bad venue (there - I’ve said it).

I go there often to watch AFLW. But not before I don one of these.

 

[WanderingDude]

AFL has spent lots of $ on the stinking filthy pile of poo, in support of women’s footy. So it’s not such a bad venue (there - I’ve said it).

I go there often to watch AFLW. But not before I don one of these.

I am not convinced by those suits, I fear they are not up the correct filth and poo certifications for the job you describe. It typically ain’t a Carlton home match but that residue is just evil.

 

[Exambolor]

AFL has spent lots of $ on the stinking filthy pile of poo, in support of women’s footy. So it’s not such a bad venue (there - I’ve said it).

I go there often to watch AFLW. But not before I don one of these.

It's kind of amazing how they spent money fixing it up, yet it still looks like a dump

 

[Vicky Park]

It's kind of amazing how they spent money fixing it up, yet it still looks like a dump

They must have fixed the things you don’t see - like leaky roofs and plumbing ha ha.

New lights, new scoreboard, and a very big new training facility building - which looks like it’s mainly used by the senior men. But I could have sworn it was promoted to the community as a dedicated AFLW facility.

 

[Pistol Night]

They must have fixed the things you don’t see - like leaky roofs and plumbing ha ha.

New lights, new scoreboard, and a very big new training facility building - which looks like it’s mainly used by the senior men. But I could have sworn it was promoted to the community as a dedicated AFLW facility.

Like taking a shit in a vase and saying it’s a flower

 

[Obese Arachnid]

Like taking a shit in a vase and saying it’s a flower

If I had a dollar for everytime...

 

[WanderingDude]

Like taking a shit in a vase and saying it’s a flower

Everything has to to start somewhere. I guess this is a part of Carlton’s new shoots. It’s just a very low base and not prime time. Smaller clubs are like that.

 

[Pistol Night]

Everything has to to start somewhere. I guess this is a part of Carlton’s new shoots. It’s just a very low base and not prime time. Smaller clubs are like that.

Perhaps they should just try an IKEA flatpack wardrobe with their wives and partners first

 

[Ludovico]

I have found my views on Carlton have undergone a radical shift for some reason.

I do have memories of revulsion, demonic hatred and nonspecific alienation and thoughts of death. And that was just from Michael Voss's post match interviews. But my web browser history tells a story of a slight descent into darker places.

It would appear I made certain enquiries on Chat GPT and on Google that may have inadvertently caused some concern in certain agencies based in Canberra with mysterious names.

On that basis I would strongly recommend not asking chat GPT "How much radiation does it take to stop Carlton and is it more than a zombie apocalypse". For interest the answer apparently is "3.6 Roentgen" which is I am told "not great but not terrible" and "Yes Carlton people are more resistant than zombies."

Also perhaps avoid Googling "loose nukes" "Cobalt 60" "Boosted Fission" or "how to override a permissive action link" or "Fogbank."

The nice agents whose names I can't remember did advise me against that, and they were lovely people. They took me away for something called "voltage calming" and though I don't remember what it was, for some reason my scrotum is terribly irritated but refreshingly shaved.

Any way, don't give in to hate like I did. Embrace good. Carlton are not so bad. Not much worse than a zombie apocalypse, and the Liberal Party have volunteered to be overrun by one so it must be ok. And if you are voltage calmed, ask them to use the non irritant foam before they shave your scrotum.

 

[The Phantom]

Like taking a shit in a vase and saying it’s a flower

Or even sticking flowers in an arseh*le and calling it a vase.

 

[Daicos Torpedo]

Shitting in a vase, or flowers in your bum is high art in a John Waters/Andy Warhol way, compared with the crayon eating shite that Voss will continue to dish up to their rabble base in '26...

 

[Timmy from Thomastown]

I love this thread to bits.

But sometimes I look beyond Carlton for a laugh.

Essendon Football Club….. come on down !!!

 

[MooreTreloar]

They must have fixed the things you don’t see - like leaky roofs and plumbing ha ha.

New lights, new scoreboard, and a very big new training facility building - which looks like it’s mainly used by the senior men. But I could have sworn it was promoted to the community as a dedicated AFLW facility.

No amount of money can be spent on getting rid of that could stench at Ikon Park though. That’s there forever.

 

[WanderingDude]

They must have fixed the things you don’t see - like leaky roofs and plumbing ha ha.

New lights, new scoreboard, and a very big new training facility building - which looks like it’s mainly used by the senior men. But I could have sworn it was promoted to the community as a dedicated AFLW facility.

Only way to fix that place is simple. Eviction.

 

[Ludovico]

Only way to fix that place is simple. Eviction.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

If I had a dollar for everytime...

LOL

 

[OEP MKII]

 

[HoraceStrasbork]

Shitting in a vase, or flowers in your bum is high art in a John Waters/Andy Warhol way, compared with the crayon eating shite that Voss will continue to dish up to their rabble base in '26...

 

[BillyElliott]

An oldie but a goodie

 

[Pleasedontfail11]

 

[jmac70]

I feel sorry for the residents of the cemetery having to merge with those dead beats.

 

[Horaceg]

I feel sorry for the residents of the cemetery having to merge with those dead beats.

I can safely say and with genuine certainty the Dead aren’t considering it, they will not merge with Carlton.

Source, Ouija Board