Advice column

[Optimax]

You CAN break it boys, be careful

you can but i thought that wasjust a vicous wives tale, well better be careful

 

[ClarkeM]

KFC is like pr0n, feels good when your doing it,

...but afterwards you feel dirty..

 

[DWil6]

Trim the hair around your trouser snake. It's gives the impression of extra length and is sure to impress the ladies with it's suave new hairdo. Plus they are less likely to get a hair in their mouth when they are playing the skin flute!! What?? This isn't the kind of advice you mean??

 

[spartan-magpie]

try and use only the finest kalamata extra virgin olive when cooking.. be it saldads or pastas or whatever.. costs alot more... but tastes much better and is better for u!

Also when frying garlic and onion.. put the garlic in first, then the onion-and dont over cook the onion.. will make the dish taste sour! and ALWAYS use fresh ingredients!

 

[martyTHOMAS]

What's the best way to fake a sicky?

 

[Optimax]

What's the best way to fake a sicky?

stay in bed with your electric blanket on high so you sweat alot, lick your hands and then lay on them so they feel wet and clamy and put on a decent dry cough.

This doesnt always work but its teh best ive come across, just i never actually get sikies at work

 

[thatday]

KFC is like pr0n, feels good when your doing it,

...but afterwards you feel dirty..

LMFAO!!!

 

[Magpie Magic]

try and use only the finest kalamata extra virgin olive when cooking.. be it saldads or pastas or whatever.. costs alot more... but tastes much better and is better for u!

Also when frying garlic and onion.. put the garlic in first, then the onion-and dont over cook the onion.. will make the dish taste sour! and ALWAYS use fresh ingredients!

Hmmm, I always thought you should put the onions in first, then add the garlic because garlic's easy to burn. Perhaps it depends on the size of the garlic and onions, or perhaps I'm wrong.

 

[Shellz]

stay in bed with your electric blanket on high so you sweat alot, lick your hands and then lay on them so they feel wet and clamy and put on a decent dry cough.

This doesnt always work but its teh best ive come across, just i never actually get sikies at work

This can be achieved by holding the side of your neck whilst you cough.

 

[spartan-magpie]

Hmmm, I always thought you should put the onions in first, then add the garlic because garlic's easy to burn. Perhaps it depends on the size of the garlic and onions, or perhaps I'm wrong.

lol.. u might be right. i slice the garlic very fine ( takes me ages) and it virtually dissolves into the oil.. i always do this.. try it next time and let me know what u come up with.

 

[swiftdog]

What's the best way to fake a sicky?

Fake vomit up vegetable soup. Look's real and it worked once for me, sort of. my mum knew i was faking it but gave me a day off for effort.

 

[thatday]

What's the best way to fake a sicky?

Start faking the night before.......not that i would know, i never take the day off.......**looks at time posted......hmmmm

 

[martyTHOMAS]

My brother alwaysss fakes sicky's so mums learnt not to believe him. She believes me now because i never used to do it

When it's just dad home he let's me stay but mums hard to convince.

 

[ClarkeM]

Get really hot and ask for a bucket but you know your not gonna need it.
Pick a spot under your rib cage kinda and say it hurts in that spot.....

 

[sirlothie]

What's the best way to fake a sicky?

Just say you got a stomach bug. Nobody will ask too many questions...

 

[didaka]

Feel free to give anyone some handy advice. Ill kick us off. If masturbation is becoming a bore, sit on your hand until it goes dead then go for broke and it feels as though someone else is doing it and for a split second your not as lonely and perverted as you think

Or you could sit on your penis until it goes dead and then it would feel like your whacking someone else off.

Wait a minute....

 

[DWil6]

Or you could sit on your penis until it goes dead and then it would feel like your whacking someone else off.

Wait a minute....

 

[swiftdog]

Don't chew on electric fences.

 

[The Octagon]

Or you could sit on your penis until it goes dead and then it would feel like your whacking someone else off.

Wait a minute....

Funniest quote ever written on bigfooty.

 

[spartan-magpie]

Funniest quote ever written on bigfooty.

i agree. i pissed myself laughing when i read that..

 

[didaka]

It's unfortunate I do my best work when we're talking about penis's

 

[mase06]

Hi All Just Wondering If You Could Help.

I Want To Get A Jumper Signed By Nathan Buckley For A Friend Of Mines Birthday.

Now He Is Not At Collingwood How Would I Get It.

Im Not Going To His House Or Anything But Ive Got Months Till The Birthday.

Should I Send It In To 7 Or Send Him A Letter First Asking If I Could Send It In. Try And Get Him At A Game Of Football.

Any Advice/Help Would Be Great.

pm me if you dont want to give away your secrets to getting autographs

 

[The Octagon]

Hi All Just Wondering If You Could Help.

I Want To Get A Jumper Signed By Nathan Buckley For A Friend Of Mines Birthday.

Now He Is Not At Collingwood How Would I Get It.

Im Not Going To His House Or Anything But Ive Got Months Till The Birthday.

Should I Send It In To 7 Or Send Him A Letter First Asking If I Could Send It In. Try And Get Him At A Game Of Football.

Any Advice/Help Would Be Great.

pm me if you dont want to give away your secrets to getting autographs

One Word....Ebay

 

[ClarkeM]

Funniest quote ever written on bigfooty.

Yes it was very funny..... but your still a newbie.... you have not read a percentage of all the posts here.... still funny!