Drugs Are Bad Mackay?
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Present: Neil Craig, David Burtenshaw, Richard Douglas and Brent Reilly
David Burtenshaw: Righto guys, the WebTV telecast will start in a couple of minutes. We’ve had a heap of questions emailed in by Crows fans and we’ve picked out the best ones to ask you. Most are for you Neil and there’s some for the players. The footage is all going out on the AFC website.
I want to keep it pretty light-hearted, not too formal. A bit of banter between you guys would be good too, you know, to show off the coach-player relationship. Some of the questions are a bit of fun, I think you’ll enjoy it. You’ll just be sitting on the couch facing the camera, Neil down this end and you guys next to him. I’ll be on the chair here and I’ll be reading the questions (indicates a pile of papers on the coffee table).
Neil Craig: I’ve actually been really looking forward to this. Hope you’re wearing your laughing shoes guys, I’ve been on fire lately!
<Richard Douglas and Brent Reilly exchange sideways glances>
David Burtenshaw: I think this is going to be a great way to connect the fans with the club. Just shoot your answers at me nice and quick – no speeches Neil! - and we’ll get through this in no time.
<Everyone takes their seat>
Neil Craig: Speeches? I don’t-
David Burtenshaw: Shhh… just about to start… Hello Crows fans and welcome to our first ever segment of Crows On The Couch. It’s going to be a weekly show for the rest of the season and we think it will be a bit of fun. I’m David Burtenshaw and today we’ve got Richard Douglas and Brent Reilly from the Crows plus as a special treat, head coach Neil Craig. Guys, thanks for giving up your time.
All: No problem.
David Burtenshaw: Now, we’ve got a ton of questions here from Crows fans who are very keen to find out a bit more about you. The email has been going crazy all day! Are we ready to go?
All: Ready.
<David Burtenshaw picks up a piece of paper from the top of the pile>
David Burtenshaw: Ok, Neil the first one is for you.
Neil Craig: (enthusiastically) Excellent, excellent. What have we got?
David Burtenshaw: It’s from John of Seacliff who writes: Dear Neil, do you think you will be sacked during the season?
Neil Craig: Well John… wait, what? (brief pause)... Umm… Sorry David, you threw me a bit there... not exactly a half volley outside off stump to get started is it? Weren’t there any easier ones you could have chosen?
David Burtenshaw: They aren’t in any order, I just picked the one at the top of the-
Neil Craig: Yeah, ok, ok. Well John, I’m contracted until the end of 2011 but I’ve always said that I will only stay while I think I’m having a positive impact on the club and the playing group. There, I’ve answered it… what’s the next one?
David Burtenshaw: The next one’s for you as well Neil. It’s from Sandra of Beaumont who writes: Dear Neil, what is the lowest position the Crows have ever finished on the ladder?
Neil Craig: … Are they all like this? Can I have a quick look at the pile there-?
David Burtenshaw: No, no it’s ok. They aren’t all like that... did you want to answer it or should I move on?
Neil Craig: Talk about a couple of downers to kick things off… Honestly Sandra, I don’t know. Haven’t even looked at it. I’m confident things are going to turn around soon… so it’s not an issue.
David Burtenshaw: Ok, here’s one for the players. For either of you. Peter of Golden Grove writes: What sort of feedback do players get from the coaches after each game? Hmmm, interesting question.
Brent Reilly: Well, we go through a bit of video stuff as a group and look at the game. Where the game plan worked and where it didn’t.
Richard Douglas: Yeah and we also do some one-on-one video review with our line coaches where they edit together all the bits of play we were involved in.
Brent Reilly: And Neil sends us an audio file each week on our mobiles with his perspective on our games. Things he liked and didn’t like, stuff for us to work on. They’re pretty… detailed.
Richard Douglas: In fact if I’m ever having trouble sleeping I just put mine on!
<Both players laugh>
Neil Craig: There’s some pretty important stuff in those audio files guys.
Richard Douglas: We’re only joking mate, we listen to them.
David Burtenshaw: Ok, Neil. The next one’s for you. Cornelius of Woodville writes: Dear Neil, do you think you are too short to be an AFL coach? I’ve noticed that during the team huddles the players at the back don’t seem to be able to see or hear you properly.
Neil Craig: …That is the most-
David Burtenshaw: Hang on, there’s more. Also in the footage from the rooms before the game and at half time you don’t seem to be able to reach the top of the whiteboard. Is this why we don’t have good tactics in the forward line?
<Both players burst out laughing>
Richard Douglas: Sorry Neil, that was us mate! We wrote that one.
<Neil Craig grabs a random page off the pile>
Neil Craig: Oh look, here’s another letter. It’s from Neil of West Lakes. He writes: Dear Richard, just wondering if you can tell me what was in your audio feedback file from the Showdown game?
Richard Douglas: Umm… need to win more contested ball… show some fierce determination… persistence and patience are key ingredients…
Neil Craig: Oh well… I guess you did listen to it then.
David Burtenshaw: Neil, this one’s from Alan of Modbury: Dear Neil, we always hear that you have a great sense of humour and love to have a laugh behind closed doors but we never see any of it in public. Can you please tell your funniest joke?
Neil Craig: (perking up) My funniest joke? Well… there’s too many to choose from! This is my specialty actually… difficult though. I mean… it would be like asking Rembrandt to pick his favourite joke… I’ll have a go. (thinks) Ok I’ve got one… Have I told you guys the vacuum cleaner one? I’d better not, it sucks!
<Neil wets himself laughing>
David Burtenshaw: The next one-
Neil Craig: No… wait… (struggling for breath) I’ve got a better one than that... Ahem... I’m ok now. Here we go… did you hear about the explosion at a pie factory in Adelaide? 3.1415927 dead!
<No one laughs, Neil looks at them expectantly>
Neil Craig: What’s the matter, don’t you get it?
Brent Reilly: Yeah, we get it.
Neil Craig: Do you? Do I need to tell it again?
David Burtenshaw: We might move on I think...This one’s for you, Dougie. It’s from Drummond of Norwood who writes: Dear Richard, why do you always try to dodge around people during games? You always slip over and get caught holding the ball.
Richard Douglas: Well, I try to use my pace in the games and take them on… but yeah, I have been caught a few times I guess.
Neil Craig: More than a few times. Perhaps if you spent more time listening to your audio files…
David Burtenshaw: Neil, we’ve got a question here about Taylor Walker.
Neil Craig: Ah, I thought we might get a few of these.
David Burtenshaw: Lucy of Brighton writes: Dear Neil, can you PLEASE play Taylor Walker this week? He is so hot and he kicks lots of goals. I can’t believe you’re not picking him and we’re losing every game anyway.
Neil Craig: Ok, let me put this one to bed once and for all. Lucy, Taylor is a very talented player and will be an outstanding footballer for this football club. But, at the moment, he has a few aspects of his game that he needs to improve. As a club, we would be derelict in our duty not to fix them up now and to let him survive on talent alone. If we put the work in now and get his defensive-action and his contested ball and all the other areas of his game up to speed, then we’ll have a truly special player on our hands.
David Burtenshaw: Ok, pretty comprehensive. The next one’s about Walker too. Greg of Blair Athol writes: Dear Neil, I can’t understand why you are persisting with older players like Burton and Stevens instead of investing games into Walker. These guys have had their chance, it’s time for the next generation to get their opportunity.
Neil Craig: Right, I think I’ve already really answered that one David. Can you maybe put that question and any of the other Taylor Walker questions to the side?
David Burtenshaw: Ok, I’ll do that. I’ve got another one for you here. Chris of Parkside writes: Dear Neil, why did you put Massie on Franklin in the 2007 elimination final? That move cost us the game and possibly a crack at a grand final. What on earth were you thinking?
Neil Craig: … are there any more Taylor Walker questions?
David Burtenshaw: We might skip that one and pick out one for the players… here we are. Dale of Brompton writes: Dear players, do you think the game plan is to blame for our terrible start to the season or is it the club’s injury list?
Richard Douglas: Personally, I don’t think we can blame injuries.
Brent Reilly: I agree. It’s a cop out to use injuries as an excuse. We’ve had enough good players on the park.
<Richard Douglas winks at Brent Reilly>
Richard Douglas: So, it’s definitely the game plan then. I mean, we changed it this time last year, we changed it again at the end of 2009 and we’ve tweaked it again in the last few weeks.
Brent Reilly: Yeah, so that’s four different game plans in just over 12 months. We’re all over the place. I don’t think the coaches know what they’re doing.
<Neil Craig grabs another random piece of paper off the pile>
Neil Craig: (angrily) Here’s another letter. From Neil of West Lakes again: Dear players, has it ever been part of the game plan to go to ground at every contest, to miss tackles, to spray shots at goal from point blank range-
Richard Douglas: Neil, relax. We were only joking mate. The game plan’s fine.
David Burtenshaw: Ok… Neil, another one for you here. James of Tennyson writes: Dear Neil, I read with interest that you were installing some new coaches’ boxes at AAMI Stadium with different views of the ground. Can you explain how these new vantage points will help you during a game?
Neil Craig: I’d actually like a coaches box that faces West Lakes Mall the way these guys are playing.
<Neil sits back on the couch, arms folded>
David Burtenshaw: Umm… Neil, the next one’s for you as well. Two part question. Gary of Melbourne writes: Dear Neil, would you feel betrayed if one of your assistant coaches put their hand up to take your job if you got the sack midseason?
Neil Craig: …Gary of Melbourne, huh?
David Burtenshaw: And the second part is: Do you credit the previous regime for your winning percentage given that they produced the Johncocks, the Reillys, the Burtons, the Shirleys, the Doughtys…
Neil Craig: Oh yes Gary, I’m thankful to the previous regime every day for drafting Laurence Angwin and giving up Wells for Carey. Not a day goes by that I don’t thank them for getting games into Skipworth and Ladhams… not to mention both the Gallaghers. Actually Gary, did I just hear a car pull up? I think they’re after a carton of Melbourne Bitter. Perhaps you can sort that out rather than wasting time dredging up the past. Build a bridge Gary… and get a haircut.
David Burtenshaw: We might give you a breather there Neil. The next one is for Brent Reilly. Kathy of North Adelaide writes: Dear Brent, in an interview last week you said that training was boring. Can you explain what you mean?
Brent Reilly: I thought this one might come up! Bit of a misunderstanding. What I was trying to say was that some drills… if you do them a number of times… not that they’re bad drills or anything. So yeah, if you’re hearing the same voice and the same message… not that the messages are wrong or boring... I’m not explaining this very well, am I?
Neil Craig: No, you’re not.
Brent Reilly: The important thing is that “boring” wasn’t the right word. I should have used…
Richard Douglas: Monotonous?
Brent Reilly: Yeah, that’s a bit better. Routine maybe…
Richard Douglas: Mind-numbing?
Brent Reilly: That’s probably a bit strong… draining?
Richard Douglas: Tedious?
Brent Reilly: Yeah, tedious works. Dull?
Richard Douglas: Depressing? Lackluster? Cheerless?
Neil Craig: (under breath) You get a thesaurus for your birthday, Dougie?
Brent Reilly: Tedious is probably the best one I reckon. But yeah, certainly not boring. I made a mistake there.
Neil Craig: Well thanks very much for clarifying that for everyone, Brent… much appreciated.
<Neil is getting restless on the couch, undoes his top shirt button>
David Burtenshaw: The next one’s for you Neil. It’s from Brayden of Elizabeth who writes: Dear Neil, I am a huge Central Districts fan and have been watching Jonathan Griffin closely this season. He’s been very good for the Dogs and I’m surprised he can’t get a game with the Crows at the moment. Why isn’t he getting picked?
Neil Craig: Well, Brayden. He’s scared of his own shadow for one thing… and have you seen his skills? Indigenous my ass. He’s about as far away from getting a game as I am. Can we wrap this up David? How many more are there?
David Burtenshaw: There’s still about fifty here… or about a hundred if we include the Taylor Walker ones.
Neil Craig: For f___’s sake. Oops… sorry David. Can we edit that bit out when we go to air?
David Burtenshaw: We’re live Neil.
Neil Craig: …(sighs) … I’m not going to be on every week am I?
David Burtenshaw: Righto guys, the WebTV telecast will start in a couple of minutes. We’ve had a heap of questions emailed in by Crows fans and we’ve picked out the best ones to ask you. Most are for you Neil and there’s some for the players. The footage is all going out on the AFC website.
I want to keep it pretty light-hearted, not too formal. A bit of banter between you guys would be good too, you know, to show off the coach-player relationship. Some of the questions are a bit of fun, I think you’ll enjoy it. You’ll just be sitting on the couch facing the camera, Neil down this end and you guys next to him. I’ll be on the chair here and I’ll be reading the questions (indicates a pile of papers on the coffee table).
Neil Craig: I’ve actually been really looking forward to this. Hope you’re wearing your laughing shoes guys, I’ve been on fire lately!
<Richard Douglas and Brent Reilly exchange sideways glances>
David Burtenshaw: I think this is going to be a great way to connect the fans with the club. Just shoot your answers at me nice and quick – no speeches Neil! - and we’ll get through this in no time.
<Everyone takes their seat>
Neil Craig: Speeches? I don’t-
David Burtenshaw: Shhh… just about to start… Hello Crows fans and welcome to our first ever segment of Crows On The Couch. It’s going to be a weekly show for the rest of the season and we think it will be a bit of fun. I’m David Burtenshaw and today we’ve got Richard Douglas and Brent Reilly from the Crows plus as a special treat, head coach Neil Craig. Guys, thanks for giving up your time.
All: No problem.
David Burtenshaw: Now, we’ve got a ton of questions here from Crows fans who are very keen to find out a bit more about you. The email has been going crazy all day! Are we ready to go?
All: Ready.
<David Burtenshaw picks up a piece of paper from the top of the pile>
David Burtenshaw: Ok, Neil the first one is for you.
Neil Craig: (enthusiastically) Excellent, excellent. What have we got?
David Burtenshaw: It’s from John of Seacliff who writes: Dear Neil, do you think you will be sacked during the season?
Neil Craig: Well John… wait, what? (brief pause)... Umm… Sorry David, you threw me a bit there... not exactly a half volley outside off stump to get started is it? Weren’t there any easier ones you could have chosen?
David Burtenshaw: They aren’t in any order, I just picked the one at the top of the-
Neil Craig: Yeah, ok, ok. Well John, I’m contracted until the end of 2011 but I’ve always said that I will only stay while I think I’m having a positive impact on the club and the playing group. There, I’ve answered it… what’s the next one?
David Burtenshaw: The next one’s for you as well Neil. It’s from Sandra of Beaumont who writes: Dear Neil, what is the lowest position the Crows have ever finished on the ladder?
Neil Craig: … Are they all like this? Can I have a quick look at the pile there-?
David Burtenshaw: No, no it’s ok. They aren’t all like that... did you want to answer it or should I move on?
Neil Craig: Talk about a couple of downers to kick things off… Honestly Sandra, I don’t know. Haven’t even looked at it. I’m confident things are going to turn around soon… so it’s not an issue.
David Burtenshaw: Ok, here’s one for the players. For either of you. Peter of Golden Grove writes: What sort of feedback do players get from the coaches after each game? Hmmm, interesting question.
Brent Reilly: Well, we go through a bit of video stuff as a group and look at the game. Where the game plan worked and where it didn’t.
Richard Douglas: Yeah and we also do some one-on-one video review with our line coaches where they edit together all the bits of play we were involved in.
Brent Reilly: And Neil sends us an audio file each week on our mobiles with his perspective on our games. Things he liked and didn’t like, stuff for us to work on. They’re pretty… detailed.
Richard Douglas: In fact if I’m ever having trouble sleeping I just put mine on!
<Both players laugh>
Neil Craig: There’s some pretty important stuff in those audio files guys.
Richard Douglas: We’re only joking mate, we listen to them.
David Burtenshaw: Ok, Neil. The next one’s for you. Cornelius of Woodville writes: Dear Neil, do you think you are too short to be an AFL coach? I’ve noticed that during the team huddles the players at the back don’t seem to be able to see or hear you properly.
Neil Craig: …That is the most-
David Burtenshaw: Hang on, there’s more. Also in the footage from the rooms before the game and at half time you don’t seem to be able to reach the top of the whiteboard. Is this why we don’t have good tactics in the forward line?
<Both players burst out laughing>
Richard Douglas: Sorry Neil, that was us mate! We wrote that one.
<Neil Craig grabs a random page off the pile>
Neil Craig: Oh look, here’s another letter. It’s from Neil of West Lakes. He writes: Dear Richard, just wondering if you can tell me what was in your audio feedback file from the Showdown game?
Richard Douglas: Umm… need to win more contested ball… show some fierce determination… persistence and patience are key ingredients…
Neil Craig: Oh well… I guess you did listen to it then.
David Burtenshaw: Neil, this one’s from Alan of Modbury: Dear Neil, we always hear that you have a great sense of humour and love to have a laugh behind closed doors but we never see any of it in public. Can you please tell your funniest joke?
Neil Craig: (perking up) My funniest joke? Well… there’s too many to choose from! This is my specialty actually… difficult though. I mean… it would be like asking Rembrandt to pick his favourite joke… I’ll have a go. (thinks) Ok I’ve got one… Have I told you guys the vacuum cleaner one? I’d better not, it sucks!
<Neil wets himself laughing>
David Burtenshaw: The next one-
Neil Craig: No… wait… (struggling for breath) I’ve got a better one than that... Ahem... I’m ok now. Here we go… did you hear about the explosion at a pie factory in Adelaide? 3.1415927 dead!
<No one laughs, Neil looks at them expectantly>
Neil Craig: What’s the matter, don’t you get it?
Brent Reilly: Yeah, we get it.
Neil Craig: Do you? Do I need to tell it again?
David Burtenshaw: We might move on I think...This one’s for you, Dougie. It’s from Drummond of Norwood who writes: Dear Richard, why do you always try to dodge around people during games? You always slip over and get caught holding the ball.
Richard Douglas: Well, I try to use my pace in the games and take them on… but yeah, I have been caught a few times I guess.
Neil Craig: More than a few times. Perhaps if you spent more time listening to your audio files…
David Burtenshaw: Neil, we’ve got a question here about Taylor Walker.
Neil Craig: Ah, I thought we might get a few of these.
David Burtenshaw: Lucy of Brighton writes: Dear Neil, can you PLEASE play Taylor Walker this week? He is so hot and he kicks lots of goals. I can’t believe you’re not picking him and we’re losing every game anyway.
Neil Craig: Ok, let me put this one to bed once and for all. Lucy, Taylor is a very talented player and will be an outstanding footballer for this football club. But, at the moment, he has a few aspects of his game that he needs to improve. As a club, we would be derelict in our duty not to fix them up now and to let him survive on talent alone. If we put the work in now and get his defensive-action and his contested ball and all the other areas of his game up to speed, then we’ll have a truly special player on our hands.
David Burtenshaw: Ok, pretty comprehensive. The next one’s about Walker too. Greg of Blair Athol writes: Dear Neil, I can’t understand why you are persisting with older players like Burton and Stevens instead of investing games into Walker. These guys have had their chance, it’s time for the next generation to get their opportunity.
Neil Craig: Right, I think I’ve already really answered that one David. Can you maybe put that question and any of the other Taylor Walker questions to the side?
David Burtenshaw: Ok, I’ll do that. I’ve got another one for you here. Chris of Parkside writes: Dear Neil, why did you put Massie on Franklin in the 2007 elimination final? That move cost us the game and possibly a crack at a grand final. What on earth were you thinking?
Neil Craig: … are there any more Taylor Walker questions?
David Burtenshaw: We might skip that one and pick out one for the players… here we are. Dale of Brompton writes: Dear players, do you think the game plan is to blame for our terrible start to the season or is it the club’s injury list?
Richard Douglas: Personally, I don’t think we can blame injuries.
Brent Reilly: I agree. It’s a cop out to use injuries as an excuse. We’ve had enough good players on the park.
<Richard Douglas winks at Brent Reilly>
Richard Douglas: So, it’s definitely the game plan then. I mean, we changed it this time last year, we changed it again at the end of 2009 and we’ve tweaked it again in the last few weeks.
Brent Reilly: Yeah, so that’s four different game plans in just over 12 months. We’re all over the place. I don’t think the coaches know what they’re doing.
<Neil Craig grabs another random piece of paper off the pile>
Neil Craig: (angrily) Here’s another letter. From Neil of West Lakes again: Dear players, has it ever been part of the game plan to go to ground at every contest, to miss tackles, to spray shots at goal from point blank range-
Richard Douglas: Neil, relax. We were only joking mate. The game plan’s fine.
David Burtenshaw: Ok… Neil, another one for you here. James of Tennyson writes: Dear Neil, I read with interest that you were installing some new coaches’ boxes at AAMI Stadium with different views of the ground. Can you explain how these new vantage points will help you during a game?
Neil Craig: I’d actually like a coaches box that faces West Lakes Mall the way these guys are playing.
<Neil sits back on the couch, arms folded>
David Burtenshaw: Umm… Neil, the next one’s for you as well. Two part question. Gary of Melbourne writes: Dear Neil, would you feel betrayed if one of your assistant coaches put their hand up to take your job if you got the sack midseason?
Neil Craig: …Gary of Melbourne, huh?
David Burtenshaw: And the second part is: Do you credit the previous regime for your winning percentage given that they produced the Johncocks, the Reillys, the Burtons, the Shirleys, the Doughtys…
Neil Craig: Oh yes Gary, I’m thankful to the previous regime every day for drafting Laurence Angwin and giving up Wells for Carey. Not a day goes by that I don’t thank them for getting games into Skipworth and Ladhams… not to mention both the Gallaghers. Actually Gary, did I just hear a car pull up? I think they’re after a carton of Melbourne Bitter. Perhaps you can sort that out rather than wasting time dredging up the past. Build a bridge Gary… and get a haircut.
David Burtenshaw: We might give you a breather there Neil. The next one is for Brent Reilly. Kathy of North Adelaide writes: Dear Brent, in an interview last week you said that training was boring. Can you explain what you mean?
Brent Reilly: I thought this one might come up! Bit of a misunderstanding. What I was trying to say was that some drills… if you do them a number of times… not that they’re bad drills or anything. So yeah, if you’re hearing the same voice and the same message… not that the messages are wrong or boring... I’m not explaining this very well, am I?
Neil Craig: No, you’re not.
Brent Reilly: The important thing is that “boring” wasn’t the right word. I should have used…
Richard Douglas: Monotonous?
Brent Reilly: Yeah, that’s a bit better. Routine maybe…
Richard Douglas: Mind-numbing?
Brent Reilly: That’s probably a bit strong… draining?
Richard Douglas: Tedious?
Brent Reilly: Yeah, tedious works. Dull?
Richard Douglas: Depressing? Lackluster? Cheerless?
Neil Craig: (under breath) You get a thesaurus for your birthday, Dougie?
Brent Reilly: Tedious is probably the best one I reckon. But yeah, certainly not boring. I made a mistake there.
Neil Craig: Well thanks very much for clarifying that for everyone, Brent… much appreciated.
<Neil is getting restless on the couch, undoes his top shirt button>
David Burtenshaw: The next one’s for you Neil. It’s from Brayden of Elizabeth who writes: Dear Neil, I am a huge Central Districts fan and have been watching Jonathan Griffin closely this season. He’s been very good for the Dogs and I’m surprised he can’t get a game with the Crows at the moment. Why isn’t he getting picked?
Neil Craig: Well, Brayden. He’s scared of his own shadow for one thing… and have you seen his skills? Indigenous my ass. He’s about as far away from getting a game as I am. Can we wrap this up David? How many more are there?
David Burtenshaw: There’s still about fifty here… or about a hundred if we include the Taylor Walker ones.
Neil Craig: For f___’s sake. Oops… sorry David. Can we edit that bit out when we go to air?
David Burtenshaw: We’re live Neil.
Neil Craig: …(sighs) … I’m not going to be on every week am I?
for an upbeat after match press conference TRANSCRIPT where Craigy chastises Rooch to tears...next.
