- Joined
- Nov 7, 2012
- Posts
- 11,994
- Reaction score
- 39,311
- Location
- France
- AFL Club
- St Kilda
- Other Teams
- Bristol City FC, Urawa Red Diamonds FC
Hi Saints fans, Gil here. As a close personal mate of austinnn's, I've asked him to let me use his account to post a heads up. We're trialling a new footy format that we think will excite fans more than the boooooring old model that we've all supported now for so many years. We call it AFL Y. The Y is for Youthful and Yuuuuuuge.
At first it will be a pre-season fun tournament similar to AFL X but with a view to actually replacing the current AFL premiership home and away model. We're just working on some rules at the mo, and wondered if you'd like to give us your suggestions. What follows is some ideas that we've come up with, feel free to give us your views on these too.
NB: Please don't use this as your opportunity to critique the current rules or state of umpiring or fixturing or whatever you pack of whiners are moaning about this week, to attack me personally, I won't be reading this anyway, a trainee social media officer will be collating the best of your suggestions and reading them aloud to me in the jacuzzi. She won't be responding to your suggestions either. Strap yourself in, here goes!
AFL Y RULES BRAINSTORMING
Yours,
Gil
At first it will be a pre-season fun tournament similar to AFL X but with a view to actually replacing the current AFL premiership home and away model. We're just working on some rules at the mo, and wondered if you'd like to give us your suggestions. What follows is some ideas that we've come up with, feel free to give us your views on these too.
NB: Please don't use this as your opportunity to critique the current rules or state of umpiring or fixturing or whatever you pack of whiners are moaning about this week, to attack me personally, I won't be reading this anyway, a trainee social media officer will be collating the best of your suggestions and reading them aloud to me in the jacuzzi. She won't be responding to your suggestions either. Strap yourself in, here goes!
AFL Y RULES BRAINSTORMING
- WHICH WAY SWICHEROO: When a whistle sounds, all teams have to kick towards the opposite end's set of goals for the next minute. The players may not change position, meaning that the forwards have to defend and the defenders have to attack. The whistle may sound at any point during the game and is controlled by a random generator running perpetually thoughout the match, there can be a maximum of 3 such events per quarter and none of the players coaches or umpires have no idea when they will happen.
- FALCON'S NEST: Any player whose forehead comes into contact - either accidentally or deliberately - with the football directly after it has been kicked over 30m may take the ball into his attacking goalsquare for a free kick.
- GRUNTOMETER: All players are to wear microphones throughout the match and player audio will be broadcast instead of commentary. Spectators must prove that they are over the age of 18 to access this audio, otherwise they only have access to Junior Audio which provides voice actors dubbing the voices of all players in famous cartoon characters' voices with vulgar language censored out.
- LETTER WHEEL: A wheel of all the letters in the alphabet will be spun every 5 minutes. Any player whose surname contains the letter that the wheel lands on must stand still for 20 seconds. They may touch the ball with their arms but if they take any steps at all, the opposing team receives a 50m penalty.
- SAINTS DISCO: For the final 30 minutes of all matches, music will be played at high volume on the ground, fully audible to the players, umpires, coaches and spectators alike. The music comes from a playlist chosen pre-game by the team currently losing at the time the music starts.
- LASSIE: All teams may also field one team mascot which may be a living animal that any player will be penalised if they interact with, at the discretion of the umpire. Any mascot may attack any player at any time.
- YOU DO IT: At any time in the match, any on-field player can ask to be subbed off and replaced by the team's head coach for 10 minutes. This can happen only once in the match per team and the player can make this request by pointing directly at the coaches box, at which time said player must head to the substitutes' bench and be replaced by another player for 5 minutes while the head coach prepares. After 5 minutes the substitute must also head to the bench and the head coach must come on the field and play in the position of the player who nominated him.
- PRINCESS SPARKLE: For the first 5 minutes of the 3rd quarter, the regular football shall be replaced by a football made of slightly thinner material that is filled up with pink glitter glue. If the ball bursts, another similar ball is introduced with glitter glue of a different colour, and so on. Players may not change their uniform for the rest of the game.
- NOISE OF AFFIRMATION: Any player who kicks a goal will have their microphone volume increased and is invited to celebrate audibly.
- LEVEL PLAYING FIELD: If any player of any team with a black cross, a green trident, a brown circle or a yellow dollar sign in their club logo takes more than 2 steps before disposing of the football, the umpire awards a free kick to the opposition. Any mark taken by a player of such a team must travel more than 50m to be considered a mark, and any scoring shot from such a player where the outcome is disputable will be stricken off.
Yours,
Gil
