Age Gap Romance

[bresker]

Anyone here got any stories of hitting it off with anyone much older/younger than them? (obviously not that young or we take it to the cops)

I'm 35, and last Christmas I got hammered and ended up back home with a woman who was 58. She still had quite a nice figure, but quite an old face. Her addiction to red wine and cigs probably didn't help. Annoyingly, she showed me a photograph taken only a few years before when she was in her late 40s/early 50s when she was much hotter. It's amazing how much anyone can age in a few years.

She was quite fun in bed, but we couldn't do some sexual positions because it hurt her bones.

Anyway, I half-heartedly went out with her a couple of times after. She paid for all the drink at the pub, and she wanted to pay to take me on holiday to Greece with her. But she talked too much, I think she didn't have that many friends. I find it hard to be around people who yabber-yabber all the time.

I saw her yesterday on the seafont but pretended not to. But she saw me, and followed me round town. Every time I looked round, I could see her behind me, walking far too quickly. So I hid in an alleyway for a bit. I just wasn't in the mood for her.

 

[Hot Spenny]

lol!

 

[Invigoration]

Haha, great thread, would read again

 

[Barwick17]

I was with you until the 'a few positions hurt her bones' part.

 

[r dub 19]

When I was 16, scored receptionist at my work who was 24. Not too much of an age gap though.

 

[FIGJAM]

I haven't laughed so hard at a post in years!

 

[Hot Spenny]

I haven't laughed so hard at a post in years!

Me either, I've come back to read it a few times

 

[skilts]

.Anyway, I half-heartedly went out with her a couple of times after. She paid for all the drink at the pub, and she wanted to pay to take me on holiday to Greece with her. But she talked too much, I think she didn't have that many friends. I find it hard to be around people who yabber-yabber all the time.

If this presents such a problem to you, maybe you should consider homosexuality? It would be easier than trying to find a woman who doesn't do this. For some reason they seem to think that life requires a constant commentary, as if you weren't there to experience it for yourself.

I'm thinking of starting up a psychologically-based self-help group, with me as guru, of course. Our catchphrase will be, "it's better NOT to talk about it", whatever 'it' might be. Life would be fine were it not for the incessant background noise. The sad part is that most women of this ilk have no idea how verbose they are.

There. That's eliminated all future contact with any females on these boards. A mixed blessing.

As for the topic, when I was about 25, I had a relationship with a woman of 38, who was a nurse, who owned a very profitable nursing home. As with the OP, she insisted on paying for everything, dinners, weekends away etc. This went on for about twelve months. I was particularly taken by her gesture of flying a twenty year-old friend of hers from Adelaide a couple of times, so we could do the deed with each other, while the nurse watched. Her girlfriend was an unbelievably beautiful natural blond hippy. To find out that she was a natural blonde, you didn't even have to look in the obvious place, she didn't shave her armpits. I found this strangely stimulating.

 

[campbell]

If this presents such a problem to you, maybe you should consider homosexuality? It would be easier than trying to find a woman who doesn't do this. For some reason they seem to think that life requires a constant commentary, as if you weren't there to experience it for yourself.

I'm thinking of starting up a psychologically-based self-help group, with me as guru, of course. Our catchphrase will be, "it's better NOT to talk about it", whatever 'it' might be. Life would be fine were it not for the incessant background noise. The sad part is that most women of this ilk have no idea how verbose they are.

There. That's eliminated all future contact with any females on these boards. A mixed blessing.

As for the topic, when I was about 25, I had a relationship with a woman of 38, who was a nurse, who owned a very profitable nursing home. As with the OP, she insisted on paying for everything, dinners, weekends away etc. This went on for about twelve months. I was particularly taken by her gesture of flying a twenty year-old friend of hers from Adelaide a couple of times, so we could do the deed with each other, while the nurse watched. Her girlfriend was an unbelievably beautiful natural blond hippy. To find out that she was a natural blonde, you didn't even have to look in the obvious place, she didn't shave her armpits. I found this strangely stimulating.

are we still luvs ya skilts. being a mean old lion and all.

 

[campbell]

I was with you until the 'a few positions hurt her bones' part.

I know, wtf was he doing, trying to snap her bones and all.......

 

[skilts]

are we still luvs ya skilts. being a mean old lion and all.

I don't deserve your forgiveness campbell, but thanks anyway.

 

[Spandex]

She was quite fun in bed, but we couldn't do some sexual positions because it hurt her bones.

Best line I have read on BF for a while.

But to take the topic seriously, I have had two 'age gap' relationships, although I would probably call them flings.

First was when I was 25. I dated a 36 year old for a little while. But I wasn't too serious about it and it pretty much just ran out of steam pretty quickly.

The second was when I was 29, and was with a 43 year old. Pretty much the same story, just wasn't all too serious about it. It was fun, for a little while.

The problem I found in both cases was that even though we got on well and had much in common, the age gap just places each of you at different phases in your life. The 43 year old was eager to settle down and get serious quickly and I just wasn't looking for that at all at 29. In the end, you just go off in your own directions.

I suppose age gap relationships can work if youre looking for the same things. But I guess that's what makes most relationships work in the end anyway.

 

[campbell]

I don't deserve your forgiveness campbell, but thanks anyway.

some of us ladys are very forgiving, especially of fellow lions people. lol.

 

[Power King]

Anyone here got any stories of hitting it off with anyone much older/younger than them? (obviously not that young or we take it to the cops)

I'm 35, and last Christmas I got hammered and ended up back home with a woman who was 58. She still had quite a nice figure, but quite an old face. Her addiction to red wine and cigs probably didn't help. Annoyingly, she showed me a photograph taken only a few years before when she was in her late 40s/early 50s when she was much hotter. It's amazing how much anyone can age in a few years.

She was quite fun in bed, but we couldn't do some sexual positions because it hurt her bones.

Anyway, I half-heartedly went out with her a couple of times after. She paid for all the drink at the pub, and she wanted to pay to take me on holiday to Greece with her. But she talked too much, I think she didn't have that many friends. I find it hard to be around people who yabber-yabber all the time.

I saw her yesterday on the seafont but pretended not to. But she saw me, and followed me round town. Every time I looked round, I got see her behind me, walking far too quickly. So I hid in an alleyway for a bit. I just wasn't in the mood for her.

Her girlfriend was an unbelievably beautiful natural blond hippy. To find out that she was a natural blonde, you didn't even have to look in the obvious place, she didn't shave her armpits. I found this strangely stimulating.

I commend the excellence of the above two quotes.

 

[vealesy]

I'm thinking of starting up a psychologically-based self-help group, with me as guru, of course. Our catchphrase will be, "it's better NOT to talk about it", whatever 'it' might be. Life would be fine were it not for the incessant background noise. The sad part is that most women of this ilk have no idea how verbose they are.

Listen to Denis Learys 'No Cure for Cancer'.

He does a bit on starting up a self help business called "SHUT THE **** UP!"

Basically people tell him their problems and all he does is scream this at the 'whining ****en maggots'.

Great thread by the way, havn't laughed at a post that much for a while, excluding mantis' dribble posts.

I am tame when it comes to age difference, never been with someone more than 5 years older, or 3 years younger.

 

[Brad Goodman]

Half your age plus 7 is a pretty good rule.


(18/2)+7=16
(22/2)+7=18
(30/2)+7=22
(50/2)+7=32

 

[bigpapagman]

that is a fantastic rule.

even works when you're 14.

 

[ausde13]

..... hahahahhaha great great posts gents. Kudos to all.

Her bones hurt... poor thing, not enough calcium when younger.

She flew you out for sessions Skilts??? ****en awesome. My 1st "love" was when I was 21 and the 38yr old who ran the apartment complex I was staying at in the USA took it upon herself to teach me the ways of the older woman... she had 3 kids, her oldest was closer to my age than she was! I was into her in a big way but she was always trying to find the older guy with money enough to look after her and her kids. She basically prostituted herself out to older rich guys she new for hand outs. Very sad state of affairs for her in the end.

 

[Rise_up_Stiffy]

God damn, some of you blokes are tapping some pretty old birds! I'm 23 (24 in Oct) and I'm seeing a girl that just turned 19. I thought that was a pretty big age gap...

 

[skilts]

..... hahahahhaha great great posts gents. Kudos to all.

Her bones hurt... poor thing, not enough calcium when younger.

She flew you out for sessions Skilts??? ****en awesome. My 1st "love" was when I was 21 and the 38yr old who ran the apartment complex I was staying at in the USA took it upon herself to teach me the ways of the older woman... she had 3 kids, her oldest was closer to my age than she was! I was into her in a big way but she was always trying to find the older guy with money enough to look after her and her kids. She basically prostituted herself out to older rich guys she new for hand outs. Very sad state of affairs for her in the end.

Not quite. She flew her girlfriend over from Adelaide, so the nurse could watch as I gave her mate one. This was a very strange, but nevertheless interesting woman. I met her through a friend. He brought her to my place and when we met, she embraced me bodily and said, "I LOVE big men. Needless to say we got into it shortly afterwards.

We discovered a restaurant in 'The Grace Darling Hotel', in Smith St, Collingwood (the birthplace of the Collingwood Football Club). Contrarily, I used to call the establishment 'The Gray Starling'. We got to know the extremely talented people who ran the place pretty well. The waiting and kitchen staff would keep a constantly replenished bottle of Veuve Cliquot at our table, of which we also were able to partake. The owners' and staff's payback for this was that I'd roll each of them a spliff towards the end of the night, as they were cleaning the grill.

A usual night would involve me turning up at her nursing home (where she also had her own accomodation). We'd do each other, and then go out to dinner. At the restaurant, towards the end of the evening, she'd slip her shoes off and fondle me with her feet, under the table. Then we'd go back to her place and do it all over again.

I think the thing which eventually turned me off her was that I felt as though I was merely a part of somebody's sexual fantasies, and that it didn't really matter to her who else was involved, as long as her fantasies were catered for. Oh, her fetish for water sports and scat left me somewhat bemused as well.

 

[vealesy]

Brilliant story.

Got kinda ghey at the end when you thought being a sex toy was bad.

 

[skilts]

Brilliant story.

Got kinda ghey at the end when you thought being a sex toy was bad.

Yeh, fair comment. I think I just got very tired. Wouldn't make the same mistake now, especially with a 38 year-old. Isn't life weird?

Edit: It seems few among us are prepared to talk about playing hide-the-sausage with those younger than us. Personally, I couldn't possibly comment.

 

[vealesy]

Probably because they have never gone there because of societys constant pressure that sex is bad, evil and dirty, unless you are procreating when married.

So I ****ed a 15 year old, so what?

She wanted it more than me, Id already rooted loads of times by 18.

Not like nobody knew it either, her old man ended up getting me my first proper full time job. We were mates of some sort. We had an unspoken understanding.

Id take good care of his daughter, and she'd take good care of me.

 

[bresker]

I did have sex with a red headed Welsh girl at a music festival. I was 19, she was 14.

I got her to speak to me in Welsh, which is a surprisngly sexy language when spoken by a naked redhead.

Some people still take the piss out of me for it to this day. I don't care. What happens at the music festival, stays at the music festival.

Since I hit 30, I haven't even slept with anyone even in their twenties! I am going to the wrong pubs these days. There's a 25 year old girl in work I like, but she is really sweet and nice.

 

[skilts]

Probably because they have never gone there because of societys constant pressure that sex is bad, evil and dirty, unless you are procreating when married.

So I ****ed a 15 year old, so what?

She wanted it more than me, Id already rooted loads of times by 18.

Not like nobody knew it either, her old man ended up getting me my first proper full time job. We were mates of some sort. We had an unspoken understanding.

Id take good care of his daughter, and she'd take good care of me.

Oh good. Now, if I tell my stories, I won't be the only one. This is a teaser. I'm absolutely knackered. More tomorrow.