Media Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 41

[Tonga Bob]

Ah shit, here we go again...

Hello Sweet. I'm fine thanks.

Literally nobosy has asked why this hasn't happened again, so I thought I'd answer that question anyway. I could say that I'm giving the rest of the SFA media a head start, but nah I'm just lazy so here we are. The 12th season of the Free Kick Count.

Here's the official blurb, copypasta for your convenience...

"Free kicks are a very emotive topic in football, however it seems that the 'random' nature of qootball displaces that emotion from umpires to the sim. One way to look at this is a free kick differential, which aggregates free kicks over a period of time and shows which teams receive more than others.

My Free Kick Table takes this one step further, and aggregates the impact of free kicks on a game-by-game basis to see who won the free kick count in each game. So pretty much what would happen if you replaced goals and points scored with free kicks received and conceded."

"But why, Bob?" I also hear you type. Here's why - amaturely shooped miniature novelty trophies. The team that finishes the home and away season on top of the Free Kick Table wins the coveted Silver Whistle Trophy. And those individuals that catch the eye of the qumpires for either good or bad reasons will be in the running for individual gongs such as the Little Spoon Trophy for the player with the most free kicks received in the season or the Big Spoon Trophy for the player that concedes the most frees in the season.

So strap yourselves in for yet another iteration of the Free Kick Count.​

 

[Tonga Bob]

Here's the updated season board up from when I joined the league (ie: when the league really started) until the end of last season.


Loonerty Elton Johns Wig Robertio MP_ Millky95 Cap Pugsley StFly Bradesmaen Brick Loosener damicky moginie Wosh tigs2010 ClarkeM Senor M zackah crazywildhorse Frothies Mcveigh cats_09 Mrs Turbo Irish BlueBagger BoozedUP Braklet DemonJim ​

 

[Tonga Bob]

And here's a compilation of all the tables from all the seasons.

There was Roy saluting back in season 29:



In season 30 the Gumbies got up:

Media Thread 'Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 30'

Jul 31, 2020

I learned many things about the SFA last season:

• That it exists;
• That it's a community of many campaigners with many different personalities from all walks of life (and that's just TJASTA);
• That the sim is an evil sentient genius that, underneath its randomness has patterns that it forms;
• That RookieChat is a powerful force for good;
• That a representative team comprised primarily of midfielders caused the downfall of the Roman Empire;
• That producing stats-based threads is the key to winning bullshit awards.

So I'm throwing my hat into the ring and adding...

• Tonga Bob
• Replies: 106
• Forum: The Sweet F.A. (SFA) - Fantasy Footy League

• 
• 

Before the Roys retook the crown in season 31:

Media Thread 'Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 31'

Feb 4, 2021

*fanfare noises*

Hello nerds. Welcome back here to the SFA, and welcome to our rookie group for the very first time. The municipality of Sweet is buzzing in anticipation in this the first round of season 31! There's a lot to get excited about - the banter, the camaraderie, the quality media, the qooty, the melting, the shitposting, the statistical analysis, the heartwarming coming of age scenes, the hot takes, the inane AFL chat, the ever more sentient sim edging us ever further to an ａｓｓｉｍｉｌａｔｉｏｎ　ｉｎｔｏ　ｔｈｅ　ｏｎｅ　ｗｏｒｌｄ　ｃｏｌｌｅｃｔｉｖｅ　ｈｉｖｅｍｉｎｄ　ｆｒｏｍ　ｗｈｉｃｈ　ｔｈｅｒｅ　ｗｉｌｌ　ｂｅ　ｎｏ　ｅｓｃａｐｅ. Unfortunately...

• Tonga Bob
• Replies: 185
• Forum: The Sweet F.A. (SFA) - Fantasy Footy League

• 
• 

The Furies had a crack in season 32:

Media Thread 'Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 32'

Aug 6, 2021

​

Hello nerds!

In what has quickly become a highlight of the SFA season, Bob's Statistics (a division of Bob's Shitpostsᵀᴹ) is once again delighted to present to you the Free Kick Table for season 32! For those of you that are either new to the SFA or have repressed any memory of its existence, here's a summary of what this is all about:

"Free kicks are a very emotive topic in football, however it seems that the 'random' nature of qootball displaces that emotion from umpires to the sim. One way to look at this is a free kick differential, which...

• Tonga Bob
• bob's stats free kicks nerds qumpires sim
• Replies: 137
• Forum: The Sweet F.A. (SFA) - Fantasy Footy League

• 
• 

Season 33 was the season of the Bombers:

Media Thread 'Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 33'

Jan 31, 2022

​

Yo nerds, guess what?

[unrealistic pause for a reply that will never come]

I may be with captaincy this season, but that's not gonna stop me from getting back on my bullshit by giving you the stats that you neither requested nor craved. That's right - the Free Kick Table returns for season 33 thanks to the good person at Bob's Statistics (a division of Bob's Shitpostsᵀᴹ)!!! Here's the now customary explanation for those who came in late:

"Free kicks are a very emotive topic in football, however it seems that the 'random' nature of qootball...

• Tonga Bob
• bob's stats free kicks nerds qumpires sim
• Replies: 73
• Forum: The Sweet F.A. (SFA) - Fantasy Footy League

• 

The title went to Mount Buller in season 34:

Media Thread 'Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 34'

Aug 12, 2022

We're back, babey!!!!!

That's right, one of Sweet's longest currently running statistically-laden media pieces is now in its fifth season as the Free Kick Table returns for season 34 thanks to the good person at Bob's Statistics (a division of Bob's Shitpostsᵀᴹ)!!! Here's the now customary explanation for those who came in late:

"Free kicks are a very emotive topic in football, however it seems that the 'random' nature of qootball...

• Tonga Bob
• Replies: 81
• Forum: The Sweet F.A. (SFA) - Fantasy Footy League

• 

The Swamprats took the title underground in season 35:

Media Thread 'Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 35'

Jan 19, 2023

You said it, Ray.

I'm sure that you're pleased to find out I'll be doing my now adored and highly anticipated* Free Kick count in season 35. Six seasons deep, this piece of media buffoonery comes to you from thanks to the good person at Bob's Statistics (a division of Bob's Shitpostsᵀᴹ)!!! Here's the now copypasta'd customary explanation for those who came in late:

"Free kicks are a very emotive topic in football, however it seems that the 'random' nature of qootball displaces that emotion...

• Tonga Bob
• Replies: 154
• Forum: The Sweet F.A. (SFA) - Fantasy Footy League

• 

My Wazzas did the needful in season 36:

Media Thread 'Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 36'

Aug 3, 2023

free kick (noun - /ˌfriː ˈkɪk/): in football, an opportunity to kick the ball without the other team getting involved, allowed when a player from the other team has not obeyed one of the rules.

How good are rules hey nerds? They frickin' rule!!!! pun absolutely intended

Welcome back to the seventh edition of Sweet's pre-eminent analysis of how qooty fortunes are subject to the whims of qumpires. Don't believe me? Well here's a definition of what this all...

• Tonga Bob
• Replies: 125
• Forum: The Sweet F.A. (SFA) - Fantasy Footy League

• 

And again in season 37:

Media Thread 'Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 37'

Jan 30, 2024

​

We love qumpires. Like simmers, match posters, Committee members, club captains, stats collectors and Mrs Turbo the qumpires do a thankless task that is either criticised or ridiculed. But not here at Bob's Stats. Here we celebrate qumpires, and for the eighth season running Bob's Stats proudly* presents The Free Kick Table (as opposed to The Freaky Table which is where the goth kids sat and ate lunch in those high school films)! As tradition dictates, here's what this is all about:

"Free...

• Tonga Bob
• Replies: 100
• Forum: The Sweet F.A. (SFA) - Fantasy Footy League

• 

The Ophidians had a go in season 38:

Media Thread 'Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 38'

Jul 26, 2024

[pictured - qumpire Mike Chamberlain & philreich having a moment]

Greeting fan of officiating, I come to you with a ninth serving of Sweet's most convoluted case of number-wrangling. Yes, I'm afraid to tell you that The Free Kick Table returns for season 38. And it's a bittersweet edition this time round, as news of veteran qumpire Mike Chamberlain's decision to hang up his bias whistle filters through the competition.


[pictured with an economy of pixels - news of qumpire Mike Chamberlain's retirement...​

• Tonga Bob
• Replies: 99
• Forum: The Sweet F.A. (SFA) - Fantasy Footy League

• 

The Bears saluted in season 39:

Media Thread 'Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 39'

Jan 26, 2025

How much do we love free kick stats? THIS much!

You'd thing that after nine seasons I'd get sick of running the Free Kick Count thread aye?



That's right nerds, for the tenth season in a row your host (me) will be feeding you stats akimbo from the qumpire's kitchen. Not just stats though. Analysis, good God almighty there will be analysis. Here's the official blurb:

"Free kicks are a very emotive topic in football, however it seems that the 'random' nature of qootball displaces that emotion from umpires to the sim. One way to look at...​

• Tonga Bob
• Replies: 112
• Forum: The Sweet F.A. (SFA) - Fantasy Footy League

• 

And last season the Old Boys picked up their second Silver Whistle:

Media Thread 'Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 40'

Aug 17, 2025

Put your legs together ffs sake, you're not exactly holding the ball here are you??

Eleven seasons. Eleven long bloody seasons. That's how long the Free Kick Table has been kicking around for. I thought about giving it a miss this season but honestly this place would fall apart if not for me getting back on my bullshit so, like the considerate campaigner I am I am getting back on said bullshit.

"What is this bullshit that you speak of, Bob?" I hear you type. Well for those who came in late, here's the official blurb...

"Free kicks are...​

• Tonga Bob
• Replies: 88
• Forum: The Sweet F.A. (SFA) - Fantasy Footy League

• 
• 

​

 

[A Swallow]

#freekickswamprats

 

[cats_09]

 

[Tonga Bob]

​

And so to round one.



No draws in round one so we have six teams on four points and seven teams with nothing. The Warriors and Swamprats both had 20-10 wins over the Roys and Wonders respectively, the Bombers beat the Furies 13-7 in an unofficiated clash, the Demons did the Hawks 19-11, the Gumbies received the most frees when they beat the Dragons 21-14 and the Old Boys pipped the Bears 18-15.

Now to the individual stuff.

​

Perennial winger GWS Goose got in the qumpires' ears and received seven frees to lead the Little Spoon early doors. DERO SweetD & The Half Back are two off the lead in equal second while the top five is rounded out by DemurePrincess Electronic_Renaissance jackster83 jannissary Slingshot Footy SSSSSS & Wosh a further kick behind.

​

The similarly named Hawk teammates Tarkyn_24 & TY24 are joined in the Big Spoon lead by jezzajay while a group of six in Blaze Storm Dingster kane249 philreich SpecialBruce & Wosh (again) are a kick further back. Lotta Weags fans giving away frees wich totally checks out.

 

[Tarkyn_24]

Similarly named? We’re as different as night and… well later than night.

 

[Tonga Bob]

Similarly named? We’re as different as night and… well later than night.

TY24 is just an abbreviated you.

 

[Tarkyn_24]

TY24 is just an abbreviated you.

That’s an awful thing to say about him.

 

[Pugsley]

Looks like I have start thumping some opposition. It would help to stay on the field.

 

[Tonga Bob]

​

And so to round two.



The Swamprats, Demons, Gumbies & OOFs remain undefeated after wins against the Dragons (15-7), Warriors (16-10), Royals (10-6) & bye (there are no winners here let's be honest) respectively. Elsewhere the Hawks beat the Bombers 19-16, the Bears beat the Roys 20-15 and the Wonders beat the Furies 21-17.

​

GWS Goose retains a two kick lead in the Little Spoon from ClarkeM Shueygod & SweetD while DemurePrincess Electronic_Renaissance royboy2 SSSSSS & The Half Back round out the top 5.

​

3KZ is Football has taken the Big Spoon lead by one kick from BallaratBulldog and TY24 while the top 5 here is rounded out by Blaze Storm CM86 jezzajay por_please_ya & SpecialBruce

 

[DERO]

View attachment 2533345

View attachment 2533347​

And so to round one.

View attachment 2533348

No draws in round one so we have six teams on four points and seven teams with nothing. The Warriors and Swamprats both had 20-10 wins over the Roys and Wonders respectively, the Bombers beat the Furies 13-7 in an unofficiated clash, the Demons did the Hawks 19-11, the Gumbies received the most frees when they beat the Dragons 21-14 and the Old Boys pipped the Bears 18-15.

Now to the individual stuff.

View attachment 2533353​

Perennial winger GWS Goose got in the qumpires' ears and received seven frees to lead the Little Spoon early doors. DERO SweetD & The Half Back are two off the lead in equal second while the top five is rounded out by DemurePrincess Electronic_Renaissance jackster83 jannissary Slingshot Footy SSSSSS & Wosh a further kick behind.

View attachment 2533354​

The similarly named Hawk teammates Tarkyn_24 & TY24 are joined in the Big Spoon lead by jezzajay while a group of six in Blaze Storm Dingster kane249 philreich SpecialBruce & Wosh (again) are a kick further back. Lotta Weags fans giving away frees wich totally checks out.

 

[Tonga Bob]

And there's a fresh one if you mouth off like that again.​

Alright let's see what round three delivered.



The Swamprats and Gumbies remain as the only undefeated teams, one of which is also undefeated in qooty so you'd say there a pretty clear correlation between free kicks and winning games. They beat the Bombers 16-9 and the Wonders 20-18 respectively. The Warriors bounced back to beat the Old Boys 17-8, the Furies upset the Demons 18-11, the Hawks beat the winless Roys 22-19 and the Royals beat the also winless Dragons 10-5.

​

The Gumbies are also well represented in the Little Spoon race with GWS Goose still leading on 12 kicks and Hydatina Physis in equal second on 10 kicks, joined by ClarkeM royboy2 and TheInjuryFactory

​

The Wonder Twins of BallaratBulldog (shape of a nugget) and AnUltimateRessie (form of water) lead the Little Spoon, each conceding eight frees. One kick behind them are 3KZ is Football iDon sausageroll and SpecialBruce

 

[3KZ is Football]

View attachment 2533391

View attachment 2533392​

And so to round two.

View attachment 2533393

The Swamprats, Demons, Gumbies & OOFs remain undefeated after wins against the Dragons (15-7), Warriors (16-10), Royals (10-6) & bye (there are no winners here let's be honest) respectively. Elsewhere the Hawks beat the Bombers 19-16, the Bears beat the Roys 20-15 and the Wonders beat the Furies 21-17.

View attachment 2533400​

GWS Goose retains a two kick lead in the Little Spoon from ClarkeM Shueygod & SweetD while DemurePrincess Electronic_Renaissance royboy2 SSSSSS & The Half Back round out the top 5.

View attachment 2533406​

3KZ is Football has taken the Big Spoon lead by one kick from BallaratBulldog and TY24 while the top 5 here is rounded out by Blaze Storm CM86 jezzajay por_please_ya & SpecialBruce

3KZ is VIOLENT

 

[BallaratBulldog]

I’m going to start throwing punches too

Bite someone’s leg

 

[Dingster]

I’m going to start throwing punches too

Bite someone’s leg

Sexy dog.

 

[3KZ is Football]

I’m going to start throwing punches too

Bite someone’s leg

 

[Tonga Bob]

​

Time to check the scores.



The Gumnies and Swamprats both lost their first games of the season in round four, one a closely-fought 15-16 loss to the Warriors to take them to the top of the ladder and the other an absolute shellacking in the form of a 7-23 beat down at the hands of the Hawks to take the East Siders to third. The Demons beat the Bombers 18-12 to jump to second while at the other end of the ladder both the Roys and Dragons picked up their first wins of the season against the Wonders (21-15) and the Old Boys (8-7) respectively. The other game saw the Bears do a number on the Royals 21-13.

​

The Bash Brother are making their move on the Little Spoon, with TheInjuryFactory joining GWS Goose atop the leaderboard after picking up another six frees while The Half Back has joined royboy2 in equal third place two kicks behind the leaders. ClarkeM Hydatina Physis and sausageroll are a further kick behind to round out the top five.

​

iDon has joined AnUltimateRessie in the Big Spoon lead. One kick behind are BallaratBulldog and HARPSichord giving the Wonders three of the top four offenders, while my cuz CursingFijian and SpecialBruce are a further kick (or elbow) back.

 

[Tonga Bob]

​

News everyone! The Great Man has updated the Oracle so it's time to speed run through the last three weeks of Free Kicks. I'll give round updates for the Silver Whistle and will add the Spoons for round seven. Let's start though with round five...



The Gumbies move to the top of the ladder with a 20-12 win over the Furies, the Bears jump to second with a 17-9 win over the Wonders, the Dragons jump off the bottom and knock the Warriors off the top (because of course they do) by winning their clash 15-13, the Royals showed they can win something by beating the Hawks 19-13 as do the Roys by beating the Demons 21-20, and in the other game the Bombers beat the OOFs 17-15 despite losing the qooty by 102 points.

 

[Tonga Bob]

["Look after us or you're playing for Essendon next week" - Brad Scott probably]​

On to round six...



The Gumbies remain in top spot despite losing to the Bombers 17-18, the Demons rise to second after beating the Swamprats 12-10, the Warriors remain in third by beating the Bears 14-13, the Hawks beat the Old Boys 13-9 to move up to fourth, the Royals consigned the Wonders to their fourth straight loss 9-6 and the Roys beat the Furies 21-15 for their third win on the trot after starting 0-3.

 

[Tonga Bob]

["it's OK, Brad can't make us play for Essendon either"]​

And finally to round seven.



The Gumbies retain top spot after beating the Roys 15-8, the Hawks are back in second after dealing with the Warriors 16-13, the Swamprats inflict the fifth straight loss on the Old Boys 18-12, the Royals rise to fourth after beating the Demons 25-18, the Furies beat the Bears 21-12 and the Bombers beat the Dragons 17-16.

Now finally we can get to the Spoons...

​

TheInjuryFactory has had a massive three weeks to come from outside the top five to leading the Little Spoon by three kicks. Pamcake1 and sausageroll are in equal second, two kicks ahead of former leader GWS Goose & TIF's partner in crime The Half Back

​

AnUltimateRessie was leading the Big Spoon after round four and still does three rounds later, but is joined by teammate HARPSichord and crazywildhorse. The Majestic is one kick off the pace and TRUMAN#1 is a further kick back in fifth place.

 

[The Majestic]

Hey I might get an award for something. Lol.

 

[Tonga Bob]

Hey I might get an award for something. Lol.

A Big award no less!

 

[The Majestic]

A Big award no less!

I could use a big award, I don't have any big awards currently.

 

[Tonga Bob]

I could use a big award, I don't have any big awards currently.

Throw some elbows and the world's your oyster.