Society & Culture C**kblocking stories

[CakeEater]

As requested in the other thread- Here we go lets discuss C**kblocking stories
I have one- A friend of mine who is a renowned blocker if he doesnt get some (Overall hes a good guy, but a couple of drinks and he's a changed man) Was hooking up with this girl (8/10) things were progressing very very well and my friend thinks its hysterical to repeatedly kick the back of my knees whilst Im making out with her so I'd stumble (he nearly caused us to topple over)

Long story short the girl walks away, I walk up to my mate and ask him why he did that and he goes "Oh I wanted to talk to her"

so what are your stories?

 

[Simon_Nesbit]

So how long was he in hospital for?

 

[CLUBMEDhurst]

Any mate o' mine that tried to block my **** would get a shock when I smashed a rock over his tickety-tock!

 

[Smoooothy]

was at a 18th many years ago, and one of my mates was chatting to a girl with some pretty a-class cans. music's pretty load, and just when it stops, i chime in in "yeah, i reckon she'd **** pretty well" to my other mates standing next to me

she heard, walked away

i got a well deserved punch to the cheek

 

[SHAKESPEARE]

music's pretty load

 

[HugeJohnson]

What a man.....

 

[quin_stick]

He could **** block me any day

Anyway, was in bed with this chick (7/10) at a party at my house, so naturally i thought i was a sure thing to get laid, but my ****head mate who was there kept texting her, she kept replying, so i cbf and went to sleep. He didnt nail her either so that was sort of consolation, but mainly pissed me off more because it was for nothing...as you can probably guess yeah i was a virgin back then

 

[Tex_21]

What a man.....

But what a **** of an album. Everything post Black Album is rubbish. Some would argue everything post "Master" is, but I love the Black Album.

 

[DVD Player]

St. Anger was horrendous.

 

[philohk]

But what a **** of an album. Everything post Black Album is rubbish. Some would argue everything post "Master" is, but I love the Black Album.

Post-Justice for me. Black album was OK, but not memorable. Paid little attention after that, but the bits I heard didn't do anything for me.

On topic, I have nothing to share so I'll contribute this gem from Texts From Last Night:

(617):

i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.

(508):

i would really appreciate it if you would stop **** blocking me.

 

[Vecto]

Read my story in awkward flirting stories...

surely there are ugly friends of girls who are cockblocking Gders

 

[Byron_Clanger]

As requested in the other thread- Here we go lets discuss C**kblocking stories
I have one- A friend of mine who is a renowned blocker if he doesnt get some (Overall hes a good guy, but a couple of drinks and he's a changed man) Was hooking up with this girl (8/10) things were progressing very very well and my friend thinks its hysterical to repeatedly kick the back of my knees whilst Im making out with her so I'd stumble (he nearly caused us to topple over)

Long story short the girl walks away, I walk up to my mate and ask him why he did that and he goes "Oh I wanted to talk to her"

so what are your stories?

You poor bastard

 

[Stocks_go_Up]

**** blocking 101:
You cannot be **** blocked unless you are actually talking/with the girl in question. Just because you see a hot girl in a club does not suddenly make her yours. If you don't have the balls to go and talk to her, and your mate does then tough shit - you get the ugly friends/leftovers.

When I go out with my work mates I am always the one to go talk to the girls, and I do my best to hook up all my colleagues with the girls friends, yet when I talk to the hottest I get accused of **** blocking because my other colleague said he saw her first yet was too scared to go do anything about it. BULLSHIT. Sour grapes.

 

[DO IT TO IT]

 

[Dazb86]

Hate dudes that try to hang shit on people to make themselves appear better when in girls company.

 

[Stocks_go_Up]

Hate dudes that try to hang shit on people to make themselves appear better when in girls company.

Agree 100%. Got a workmate who can't handle his alcohol, whenever he goes out and gets drunk he will always take the piss out of me and others in front of girls. I just laugh at it, but it gets annoying as **** to the point I stopped going out with him. Can't ****ing stand people who can't handle their alcohol and turn into w***ers. These two english w***er workmates wanted to fight each other because one called the other cheap for not buying the same whiskey that the other bought for him. No time for that shit.

 

[THRILLHO]

Don't really have much to add, as I've had a girlfriend for quite awhile, but I guess I cockblocked myself the other day.

My gf's lost some weight because she has type 1 diabetes and has drastically reduced the amount of insulin she takes, plus has started carb-counting to accurately measure how much insulin is needed, was standing naked beside me asking if her boobs have gotten smaller.

Too bad I was dominating with the shotgun on Halo: Reach and couldn't really leave to check.

 

[Happy_Neale]

Read my story in awkward flirting stories...

surely there are ugly friends of girls who are cockblocking Gders

Or as Dane Cook would say, t*** swatters.

 

[Tex_21]

Or as Dane Cook would say, t*** swatters.

You just quoted Dane Cook. Re-assess everything in your life right now, because it is clearly an abject failure

[youtube]t_mzj9kiyAE[/youtube]

 

[Happy_Neale]

You just quoted Dane Cook. Re-assess everything in your life right now, because it is clearly an abject failure

[youtube]t_mzj9kiyAE[/youtube]

Hah. That video is gold.

Each to their own mate.

 

[swiftdog]

Stayed at a very small backpackers for schoolies (only about 6 or so rooms). Our room was all guys and I was on V-plates at the time. Every group staying at the backpackers became mates for the week. Naturally, we all got shitfaced together as well. Ended up taking one of the girls staying there back to our room one night. Things were going very well until one mate decided it would be "funny" to spy on us (****ing dweeb). He'd constantly open the bedroom door, yell out shit, etc, and then he decided he wanted to go to bed. Girl I was with gave her roomkeys to him and told him that he could take a nap in her bed (A couple of people had already crashed in there, hence why we didn't move). He was adamant that he wanted to sleep in his own bed though... w***er. She then cracked the shits and left. My mate pissed himself and thought it was the funniest thing ever.

He's such a good bloke but the second he gets on the piss and other people start to get in on some action he can't help but cockblock (he's not bad now though). We went out about a month later with a different group of girls we'd met down at schoolies. One of the girls was interested in myself (I was keen on her too) and we spent a fair bit of time talking together at pre's and on the way to the club. Mate decides he wants her instead and would physically, but subtley, push me out of the way when I was walking next to her. He's the ultimate cockblock.

 

[Punchy Bassett]

Stayed at a very small backpackers for schoolies (only about 6 or so rooms). Our room was all guys and I was on V-plates at the time. Every group staying at the backpackers became mates for the week. Naturally, we all got shitfaced together as well. Ended up taking one of the girls staying there back to our room one night. Things were going very well until one mate decided it would be "funny" to spy on us (****ing dweeb). He'd constantly open the bedroom door, yell out shit, etc, and then he decided he wanted to go to bed. Girl I was with gave her roomkeys to him and told him that he could take a nap in her bed (A couple of people had already crashed in there, hence why we didn't move). He was adamant that he wanted to sleep in his own bed though... w***er. She then cracked the shits and left. My mate pissed himself and thought it was the funniest thing ever.

He's such a good bloke but the second he gets on the piss and other people start to get in on some action he can't help but cockblock (he's not bad now though). We went out about a month later with a different group of girls we'd met down at schoolies. One of the girls was interested in myself (I was keen on her too) and we spent a fair bit of time talking together at pre's and on the way to the club. Mate decides he wants her instead and would physically, but subtley, push me out of the way when I was walking next to her. He's the ultimate cockblock.

Sounds like he needs a good swift kick to the ****!

 

[NSWCROW]

Mate and his missus had the habit of fighting whenever our group was out partying , putting a downer on the whole night.

My younger brother's 21st rolls around and YEP , sure enough up they start , much yelling , crying , abuse etc etc but I'M the **** for kicking them out

So anyway few months later another mate is getting married and the couple are told - " Either ONE of you come...but not both !!!! "

Yep you guessed it....they turn up together
TBF they made it til after the ceremony and toasts before the drama started , i tell mate to **** off and cop a jab in the cheek... i snap and start swinging , dragged off eventually.....

He leaves , she stays ****tin it up with all and sundry , another mate offers the old lift home , i know the deal and jump in the back seat.
Mate pulls up out front of my house and we get 10 seconds of awkward silence then i come out with " MATE , if ANYONE'S gettin their dick sucked tonight IT'S GONNA BE ME !!!!!! "

15 min car trip in silence , drop her off , then old mate comes out with " You cockblocking **** !!!! "

Pricks had more roots than i've had wanks ffs !!!

 

[WALL-e]

Some of you lads need new mates. Although my mates did decide it would be a great idea to get their paparazzi on and text bomb me while I was hooking up Saturday...

No mate has 'really' cockblocked too bad. I have a mate who's forever putting 'dibs' on any nice peice of ass he sees. I wouldn't mind....if he hit it. We're all pretty close so there's no bird dogging and any sich dogging results in a flick to the nuts and the next round....as voted for on by the group.

Did bring a cockblock on myself a couple of weeks ago, of sorts. I was trying to work on this one girl, who I was rather keen on. 8.5 probably. Anyway I do the mate thing and hang out with the boys for a bit after working on her, then I was sure she took off so I went elsewhere. Proceed chatting up 7 girl and all things going sweet. 8.5 girl returns and as I go for an approach, 7 girl rapes my face.....not all bad, but I'm pretty sure 8.5 girl wasn't too pleased.

 

[kfc1]

I may have been a cockblocker before...

One summer about 10 of my mates (mainly girls) and I were staying at a holiday house near the beach and some mates fo ours came around for a big piss up. Anyway, two pairs went downstairs to the granny flat where me and a few of the guys were sleeping as they wanted to root. The girls thought it would be hilarious if we snuck through the unlocked back door in the dark, then turned the lights on and yell out that classic line from American Pie (****ers, ****ers, you guys are gonna ****!)

Was absolutely hilarious at the time, probs less so for the dudes/dudettes about to get their groove on...