Dad jokes - add yours

[Samsquanch]

 

[Samsquanch]

 

[gokangas]

I was at my grandfathers funeral comforting my grandmother.
Gran, how did pa die, I asked.
Well, every Sunday morning we would make love. We could hear the cathedral bells and we would make love in time with the chimes. Pa would still be alive today if the bastard in the Home Icecream truck hadn't stopped out front.

 

[kool kangas]

 

[buttox]

If your driving along and you see a Collingwood fan on a bike why shouldn't you run them over?
It could be your bike.

 

[Fat Jesus]

If your driving along and you see a Collingwood fan on a bike why shouldn't you run them over?
It could be your bike.

Settle down bum flaps.

 

[Samsquanch]

 

[Samsquanch]

 

[Bertie22]

I was at my grandfathers funeral comforting my grandmother.
Gran, how did pa die, I asked.
Well, every Sunday morning we would make love. We could hear the cathedral bells and we would make love in time with the chimes. Pa would still be alive today if the bastard in the Home Icecream truck hadn't stopped out front.

An oldie but a goodie gokangas!

 

[Hojuman]

An oldie but a goodie gokangas!

 

[Lomas]

Settle down bum flaps.

Pfft, we all know you stole that comeback from someone on the main board.

 

[big_e]

If a blackbird has black babies and a bluebird has blue babies, what kind of bird has no babies?

A swallow.

 

[Samsquanch]

Pfft, we all know you stole that comeback from someone on the main board.

In which case, may his balls turn into bicycle wheels and back pedal up his ars*hole.

 

[big_e]

 

[Samsquanch]

My wife turned on the telly. A show called Jeopardy was on SBS. I thought to myself, "What is this crap?"

 

[chairo]

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband's funeral. A man leans in to her and asks, "Do you mind if I say a word?"
"No, go right ahead” the woman replies.
The man stands, clears his throat, says "Plethora" and sits back down.
"Thanks", the woman says, "that means a lot.”

 

[big_e]

 

[Samsquanch]

Why do you duck when you walk through a low doorway?

Spoiler

So you don’t quack your head.

 

[big_e]

Not really a dad joke but a cracker nonetheless.

 

[krakouers]

 

[Bertie22]

This one is for some of our more seasoned posters!!!

 

[gokangas]

This one is for some of our more seasoned posters!!!

View attachment 1589272

Have seen this - was gonna change my avatar. Would have been even smarter if the third one had no tyres.

 

[Samsquanch]

This one is for some of our more seasoned posters!!!

View attachment 1589272

User name checks out.

 

[gokangas]

Apparently a helicopter has crashed into Dublin Cemetery - so far Irish rescuers have recovered 887 bodies.

 

[Orange Peanut]