Dad jokes - add yours

[MRoos]

 

[Samsquanch]

What's got four legs and one arm?

Spoiler

A Rottweiler

 

[Samsquanch]

Do gun manuals have a trouble shooting section?

 

[Mav]

 

[big_e]

View attachment 1720349
Ooohhhh. The poor sad doggy.

 

[kool kangas]

 

[Samsquanch]

I got a new job as a security guard. They told me to watch the office.

I'm up to season 4 but I still don't know what this has to do with security.

 

[Mav]

I got a new job as a security guard. They told me to watch the office.

I'm up to season 4 but I still don't know what this has to do with security.

I call BS. Theres only 2 seasons of The Office.

 

[Samsquanch]

I call BS. Theres only 2 seasons of The Office.

There was the Christmas specials.



I'm guessing I'd have to get up at the crack of Dawn to have one up on you Mav

 

[Mav]

There was the Christmas specials.



I'm guessing I'd have to get up at the crack of Dawn to have one up on you Mav

You do have half an hours head start!

 

[kool kangas]

l went to the zoo today and saw a baguette in a cage...

The zookeeper told be it was bread in captivity..

 

[gokangas]

Did you hear they arrested the devil? Yeah, they got him on possession.

 

[gokangas]

Scientists have recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive. It’s called wedding cake.

 

[gokangas]

Some men say they don’t wear their wedding band because it cuts off circulation. Well, that’s the point, isn’t it?

 

[gokangas]

What happens to an illegally parked frog? It gets toad away.

 

[gokangas]

What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted.

 

[gokangas]

If you take $2 out of an ATM that has a $2.50 fee, do you owe the machine money?

 

[gokangas]

Did you hear the one about the cat who ate a ball of wool? She had mittens.

 

[gokangas]

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house.

 

[gokangas]

What do you call a steak that’s been knighted by the queen? Sir Loin.

 

[gokangas]

If you arrest a mime, do you have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?

 

[Lomas]

If you arrest a mime, do you have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Yes, but on the upside he comes with his own invisible cell.

 

[gokangas]

Was in China last month and went to the Beijing zoo. Best zoo I have ever seen. Out front of each animal cage they have the animals name in Chinese, the animals name in English, and the recipe card.

 

[Mav]

Little know fact, Brocco is the vegan brother of Bruce Lee.

 

[kool kangas]