Dad jokes - add yours

[krakouers]

The Dad jokes thread on the Swans board must be really bad

When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it’s fully groan

 

[Passmore]

 

[Orange Peanut]

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?


Wiped his butt.

 

[ferball]

Following up from gokangas eight bullets joke...

What do you call 40,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.

 

[sheridan]

What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish market?

Good morning ladies.

 

[Samsquanch]

 

[Samsquanch]

 

[Samsquanch]

 

[gokangas]

I said to the doctor - whenever I travel from one country to another I have to get drunk. He said - you are borderline alcoholic.

 

[rickety]

Probably in here somewhere, saw it on the tele last night ....

Two cannibals eating a clown, one looks at the other and says "does this taste funny to you? "

 

[kool kangas]

 

[gokangas]

I'm on a whiskey diet - I have lost three days so far.

 

[gokangas]

Every novel is a mystery novel, if you never finish it.

 

[gokangas]

Treat each day as your last; one day you will be right.

 

[gokangas]

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

 

[gokangas]

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

 

[gokangas]

Women should not have children after 35. Really, 35 children are enough.

 

[gokangas]

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

 

[gokangas]

My drug test came back negative. My dealer sure has some explaining to do.

 

[gokangas]

My girlfriend used to smoke after sex, so we started using lube.

 

[Samsquanch]

 

[big_e]

If they cast a woman as James Bond and started using innuendo-laden names for her romantic conquests, they'd have to call one of the blokes she sleeps with Roger Moore.

 

[krakouers]

I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention disguised as a doctor,
the security guard suspected I wasn’t the real McCoy

 

[gokangas]

When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.

 

[gokangas]

Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.