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What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a picture of Jesus?



Only takes one nail to put up the picture :cool:
 

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A rich prince is looking for a wife so he puts a full page advert in all the major newspapers and runs an ad campaign on Facebook.
His advisors narrow the prospects down to three ladies, and they're brought before the prince for an introduction.
The prince says "Welcome ladies and thank you for interest. To see whether you're worthy of marrying into this royal family, I set you a challenge. I will give you each $100,000 for one month. I wont tell you what you to do with it, but let's see what the results are after one month".
So the three ladies are gobsmacked at the amount of money suddenly at their disposal, while at the same time being a little bit lost as to what they should do with the funds, and on what criteria they will be judged.
After a month, the ladies are reintroduced to the prince and he asks them what they have done with the money.
The first lady, a slim brunette of about 28, says "I engaged a financial advisor who recommended some stocks for short term gain. After his fee and some trading costs, I'm pleased to announced a profit of $5,000".
The second lady, a stunning redhead aged about 30, said "being a fiery redhead, I'm naturally adventurous. I put $50,000 on each of two horses. One lost, but one won at the odds of $2.60, so I've turned that $100k into $130k.
The third lady, with long flowing black hair, maybe 35 years old, said "I'm sorry, Your Highness. I'm not very financially savvy so I was cautious. I didn't invest, I didn't do anything with the money except put it into an ING savings account offering 5.4% p.a. so the return on investment is only $450 but I just wanted to make sure I didn't risk losing anything.

So... which one did he marry?
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The one with the big ole tiddies
 
Paddy is walking along the street when he sees a suitcase. He opens the suitcase and finds a cat and a litter of kittens in it, so he rings the RSPCA.
He says "Hello, I've found a suitcase with a mother cat and some kittens in it. They don't look too good"
RSPCA bloke asks "Are they moving?"
Paddy thinks for a second and replies "I'm not really sure, but it would explain the suitcase!"
 

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