Dad jokes - add yours

Orange Peanut

Norm Smith Medallist
Feb 6, 2013
7,151
33,962
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Do u have to be a dad to contribute?
It makes it easier but it's not necessary. Mind you, I was lucky.
The night my first kid was born, I got home from the hospital to see my parents and sisters waiting to celebrate with me.
At one point, my dad called me in to a separate room. He said "the gifts we have given you today are from our family to yours. But this one here is just from me, and it's just for you. This is a huge day for both of us. "
He handed over a crudely wrapped present, and as I opened it, I saw that it was his very own handwritten book crammed with Dad jokes! I couldn't believe it!
I was shaking a little as I looked up at him. "Oh dad," I said, "I'm honoured!"
He wiped a tear from his eye, cleared his throat, and replied.
"Hi Honoured, I'm Dad."
 
Why did the Koala fall out of the tree?


Because it was dead

My 7 yo told me that one this week. But he went on further

Q Why did the second koala fall out of the tree
A Because it got hit by the first koala

Q Why did the third koala fall out of the tree
A Because he thought the other two were playing a game and wanted to join in.


my dad joke...

I once swallowed a dictionary... It gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had
 
A little guy is sitting at the bar when a huge bikie walks in, picks him up and throws him to the ground.
What was that he asks? Judo from Japan, the bikie laughs.
He gets up and the bikie flattens him again.
What was that he asks? Karate from Korea, the bikie laughs.
He gets up and the bikie flattens him again.
What was that he asks? Thats UFC from the USA the bikie laughs.
The little guy leaves the bar. Next minute the bikie is unconscious on the flor. He awakens and looks up at the little guy.
What was that he asks? Crowbar from Bunnings the little guy laughs.
 

Black2Blue

Premiership Player
Aug 15, 2013
3,943
10,299
AFL Club
North Melbourne
The other day I saw someone driving past, they lit a cigarette, threw the match out the window and WOOOOOF....they set fire to a dog!

(note - authentic home made dad joke)
 
My 7 yo told me that one this week. But he went on further

Q Why did the second koala fall out of the tree
A Because it got hit by the first koala

Q Why did the third koala fall out of the tree
A Because he thought the other two were playing a game and wanted to join in.


my dad joke...

I once swallowed a dictionary... It gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had
Why did the girl fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.


Knock, Knock?
Whose there?
Not that girl.
 
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