Dad jokes - add yours

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Waynesworld

Norm Smith Medallist
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May 28, 2012
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At the Chinese takeout.
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Werribee
#78
What do you call a man with no legs or arms who sits at your front door?
Matt

What do you call a man with no legs or arms in you pool?
Bob

What do you call a man with no legs or arms who rolls around in your garden?
Russell

What do you call a man with no legs or arms who hangs on your wall?
Art
 

Warrboy

Team Captain
Joined
Aug 9, 2005
Posts
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333
Location
Hobart
AFL Club
North Melbourne
#81
A couple were having kiss and cuddle in front of a fire one night when the woman stopped and said "why am I like the fire?"
"I don't know" said the man
"Because I am so bright"
The couple continued to kiss and cuddle for some time before the man said "why am I like the fire?"
"I don't know" said the woman
"Because if I don't soon get a poke and I am going to go out"
 

ansonholt

Premiership Player
Joined
May 12, 2009
Posts
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6,324
Location
All in Sunbury
AFL Club
North Melbourne
#86
What do you call a man with no legs or arms who sits at your front door?
Matt

What do you call a man with no legs or arms in you pool?
Bob

What do you call a man with no legs or arms who rolls around in your garden?
Russell

What do you call a man with no legs or arms who hangs on your wall?
Art
What do you call Art's legs and arms on the other wall?
Pieces of Art

What do you call an Irishman who bounces off walls?
Rick O'Shea

[My all time favourite]
What do you call an Irishman who sits immobilised on his verandah?
Paddy O'Furniture
 

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roos_fanatic08

Brownlow Medallist
Joined
Sep 21, 2008
Posts
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Location
Vic
AFL Club
North Melbourne
#93
What do you call a man with no legs or arms who sits at your front door?
Matt

What do you call a man with no legs or arms in you pool?
Bob

What do you call a man with no legs or arms who rolls around in your garden?
Russell

What do you call a man with no legs or arms who hangs on your wall?
Art
What do you call a woman in the distance?
Dot.

What do you call a lady who hangs in the middle tennis courts?
Annette

What do you call a man with a shovel? Doug.

What do you call a man without a shovel?
Douglas.

What do you call the non-religious man?
Godfrey.
 

rickety

Premiership Player
Joined
Nov 3, 2007
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Back in the burbs
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swfc, carrum cowboys
#95
What do you call a man in jail?

Anything you want :)

How about the Irish magician that couldn't pull a rabbit from his hat, but he could pluck a hare (hair) from his arse :)

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Barman goes "why the long face" :--- D

For those that know English football ....... The home of Sheffield United, Bramall Lane, was broken into overnight, with the contents of their trophy room being stolen. South Yorkshire Police are on the lookout for some red and white carpet! hahahahahahaha they ain't won nothing!!! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
 

DarkPhoenix

Cont-Roo-Versial
Joined
May 26, 2009
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Hobart, Tasmania
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North Melbourne
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ManCity, Cardinals, Avalanche
#96
Recently I attended an interview for a new job that I was keen for.

The interviewer asked me: "Can you perform under pressure?"

I thought for a second and replied: "Honestly, I don't know it that well, but I'll have a fair crack at Bohemian Rhapsody"
 

ferball

Premium Platinum
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Posts
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AFL Club
North Melbourne
#98
What do you call a Greek Skydiver?

... Condescending
What about the Greek electrician - Confused.

The really old Greek guy, Concrete.

The Greek boxer - Conduct.

The Greek Lawyer - Contort.

I used to go out with a Greek chick and she loved those jokes. If we ever catch up and do it for old times sake I've got a new one.


The Greek who started 4chan - Control.
 
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