Dad jokes - add yours

(Log in to remove this ad.)

Waynesworld

Norm Smith Medallist
Joined
May 28, 2012
Posts
6,037
Likes
6,854
Location
At the Chinese takeout.
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Other Teams
Werribee
#78
What do you call a man with no legs or arms who sits at your front door?
Matt

What do you call a man with no legs or arms in you pool?
Bob

What do you call a man with no legs or arms who rolls around in your garden?
Russell

What do you call a man with no legs or arms who hangs on your wall?
Art
 

Warrboy

Team Captain
Joined
Aug 9, 2005
Posts
369
Likes
340
Location
Hobart
AFL Club
North Melbourne
#81
A couple were having kiss and cuddle in front of a fire one night when the woman stopped and said "why am I like the fire?"
"I don't know" said the man
"Because I am so bright"
The couple continued to kiss and cuddle for some time before the man said "why am I like the fire?"
"I don't know" said the woman
"Because if I don't soon get a poke and I am going to go out"
 

ansonholt

Premiership Player
Joined
May 12, 2009
Posts
3,520
Likes
6,346
Location
All in Sunbury
AFL Club
North Melbourne
#86
What do you call a man with no legs or arms who sits at your front door?
Matt

What do you call a man with no legs or arms in you pool?
Bob

What do you call a man with no legs or arms who rolls around in your garden?
Russell

What do you call a man with no legs or arms who hangs on your wall?
Art
What do you call Art's legs and arms on the other wall?
Pieces of Art

What do you call an Irishman who bounces off walls?
Rick O'Shea

[My all time favourite]
What do you call an Irishman who sits immobilised on his verandah?
Paddy O'Furniture
 

(Log in to remove this ad.)

roos_fanatic08

Brownlow Medallist
Joined
Sep 21, 2008
Posts
18,325
Likes
24,146
Location
Vic
AFL Club
North Melbourne
#93
What do you call a man with no legs or arms who sits at your front door?
Matt

What do you call a man with no legs or arms in you pool?
Bob

What do you call a man with no legs or arms who rolls around in your garden?
Russell

What do you call a man with no legs or arms who hangs on your wall?
Art
What do you call a woman in the distance?
Dot.

What do you call a lady who hangs in the middle tennis courts?
Annette

What do you call a man with a shovel? Doug.

What do you call a man without a shovel?
Douglas.

What do you call the non-religious man?
Godfrey.
 

rickety

Premium Platinum
Joined
Nov 3, 2007
Posts
5,309
Likes
9,944
Location
Back in the burbs
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Other Teams
swfc, carrum cowboys
#95
What do you call a man in jail?

Anything you want :)

How about the Irish magician that couldn't pull a rabbit from his hat, but he could pluck a hare (hair) from his arse :)

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Barman goes "why the long face" :--- D

For those that know English football ....... The home of Sheffield United, Bramall Lane, was broken into overnight, with the contents of their trophy room being stolen. South Yorkshire Police are on the lookout for some red and white carpet! hahahahahahaha they ain't won nothing!!! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
 

DarkPhoenix

Cont-Roo-Versial
Joined
May 26, 2009
Posts
33,072
Likes
37,114
Location
Hobart, Tasmania
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Other Teams
ManCity, Cardinals, Avalanche
#96
Recently I attended an interview for a new job that I was keen for.

The interviewer asked me: "Can you perform under pressure?"

I thought for a second and replied: "Honestly, I don't know it that well, but I'll have a fair crack at Bohemian Rhapsody"
 

ferball

Premium Platinum
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Posts
9,091
Likes
16,871
AFL Club
North Melbourne
#98
What do you call a Greek Skydiver?

... Condescending
What about the Greek electrician - Confused.

The really old Greek guy, Concrete.

The Greek boxer - Conduct.

The Greek Lawyer - Contort.

I used to go out with a Greek chick and she loved those jokes. If we ever catch up and do it for old times sake I've got a new one.


The Greek who started 4chan - Control.
 
Top Bottom