Dating: Age difference

[daddy_4_eyes]

Whats the acceptable age difference when dating? I've got a friend who's turning 20 in a months time, and he's dating a 14 yr old *shudders*. To me, thats just plain sick. No different than paedophilia. He however reckons its ok.

Have another friend, turns 22 in March, is dating a 17 yr old. Though she's almost an adult and some might argue that the age difference becomes irrelevant at that point, I personally think there is a HUGE difference between the physical and mental maturity level of a 22yr old and a 17 yr old.

Am I over-reacting? Or are my friends a bunch of desperate men tired of Mrs Palmer?

 

[bunsen burner]

20 yo dating a 14yo? Nonce! Apart from being a paedophile, there has to be something wrong if you can relate to a 14yo in that capacity.

22yo dating a 17yo? Borderline. There is a huge difference between those ages. The difference between 20 and 30 is much smaller than the difference between 22 and 17. You have to be sad (and most probably immature) to be compatible to a 17 yo when you are 22.

 

[NakedDeadGuy]

Originally posted by daddy_4_eyes
Whats the acceptable age difference when dating? I've got a friend who's turning 20 in a months time, and he's dating a 14 yr old *shudders*. To me, thats just plain sick. No different than paedophilia. He however reckons its ok.

I'm with you d4e - mate, that's just wrong. I have a couple of nieces around 14 and if some 20 bloke year old rocked up at their house I'd knock the bastards head off his shoulders. That IS paedophilia. He'll find out how OK it is when her old man gets wind of it, or even when the Gilroys do.

 

[daicos4ever]

20-14 is not on, 22-17 isn't so bad. Thing that I've found is that most girls go for blokes a year or two older, sometimes three or four. I've personally had beter luck with girls a couple of years younger than girls around my age or older (with one exception). But 14? That's pretty poor form.

 

[ThePowerFromPort.com]

I don't have a problem with big age differences if you get along alright, but a 14 year old with a 20 year old is not good. The 17 and 22 year old isn't that bad but I wouldn't recommend it for a long term relationship. I was nearly 16 when I met my husband and he was 6 years older. I was very mature so age never mattered, but I must say I was too young and inexperienced to be settling down (married 2 years later) with someone at such a young age. Consequently we divorced 15 years later.

Now that I am older I don't see any problems with big age differences as long as the younger person (male or female) is old enough to have had some experiences with the opposite sex and has lived out or gotten over any dreams they may have had.

 

[Desredandwhite]

my mates and I always used the "15%" rule at school to determine whether a relationship was dodgy or not.

ie: the age difference should not be more than 15%, and appropriately gets larger as you get older.

the things you think up when you are bored in class

 

[Richmondfan#1]

My brother, 22, married to an 18 year old last October. They could not be happier and they suit each other very well.

 

[mantis]

I don't think age difference matters, once both parties are over 21, but 20 & 14, no way, if any 20 year old had have tried to take my daughter out when she was 14, he would have ended up in a "shallow grave".

 

[GoEagles]

I know a 20 year old girl who is dating a Chilean bloke who's nearly 40!

Plus her sister who is 24 was dating a couch potato who was 36 with a 10 year old son. But she dumped his butt because he would slob around all day watching anything from Young and the Restless to Parliament Question Time!

 

[Barto]

14 and 20 is pretty stupid. A mate of mine at work had an 18 year old bloke come over to see his 14 year old daughter. He told this little prick that if he comes back again he will break his arm.. he wasn't joking either.

14 year olds are still kids, despite how grown up they might like to think they are. Some are more mature than others but dating an adult is sick sick sick.

22 & 17 is fine IMO assuming they are compatible but really, I can't see it being forever after. People change too much between 17 and 25.

My current partner is 10 years younger and it is no problem because she is a bit older, but if she was around the 20 year old mark I wouldn't even waste my time.

 

[GoEagles]

Just something else to add:

I was looking through a website and some bloke asked for help if he should date this 12 year old lass (he was 15). One piece of advice was "That age gap is too much. You may as well be taking a foetus to the movies"

 

[Captain Sensible]

My wife was 19 and I was 31 when we met. I kind of opted out of the world for 10 years anyway so in terms of maturity and emotional developement we are pretty much at the same level.

Isnt what the 20 year old is doing illegal?

 

[Mobbs]

From memory, may be wrong :

If the bird is under 16 or the bloke is under 16 then its just illegal.

If the bird is 16 or 17 then the bloke isn't allowed to be over 18.

If the bird is 18 or over then its free reign, as long as the bloke is 18 or over.

Can't remember how it works if the bloke is 16/17 and the bird is 18+

 

[Barto]

Originally posted by Mobbenfuhrer
From memory, may be wrong :

If the bird is under 16 or the bloke is under 16 then its just illegal.

If the bird is 16 or 17 then the bloke isn't allowed to be over 18.

If the bird is 18 or over then its free reign, as long as the bloke is 18 or over.

Can't remember how it works if the bloke is 16/17 and the bird is 18+

Why are you talking about animals?

 

[Mobbs]

Originally posted by Barto
Why are you talking about animals?

Umm ... sorry ... substitute 'female person' for bird and 'male person' for bloke.

 

[Sydneyfan]

Originally posted by Barto
Why are you talking about animals?

Mate, once you've had a bird, you never go back to humans!

Being serious though, 14 and 20 isn't on, 16 and 14 maybe, 17 and 14 stretching it but 14 and 20 is far too dodgy. Sure some girls may appear much older physically at that age but mentally they're still kids. 21 and 16 isn't so bad but then again how could a 21 year old bloke want to hang out someone who's still got 2 years to go until they can go out to clubs/pubs etc., which a lot of 21 year old blokes enjoy.

I like the "15%" rule Des mentioned when dealing with relationships with under 20 year olds.

 

[Tigers_Goddess]

20 to 14 sounds gross but it just sounds bad because one is so young, in 20 years time it'll be 40 to 34. I know with my parents when my mum was 20 my dad would have been 12 but of course they weren't going out then. Now it's 55 to 47 which is an 8 year difference but it doesn't sound as bad.

If I went out with a 20 year old when I was 14 my dad would've been after the guy with a shot gun 14 is way too young to be going out with a 20 year old.

 

[sbagman]

Why do 14 year olds need to date anyway? God sakes, have a childhood.

 

[Carlos]

Theres 6 years between my GF and me - i'm 27 and she's 21. At first i wasnt overly comfortable about it all when we first got together as i'd never been out with a girl younger than me before. But i was just thinking about the numbers. I mean when i was in year 12 she was in grade fricken 6!! Thats just weird!

But we've been together nearly 2 years and have no problem relating to eachother. In fact i would say it rates as the best relationship i've been in as far as being good mates and all that goes, and i've a had a few very serious relationships so i have a yard stick.

It does kinda helps that i'm an immature **** and she is really mature for her age though! We have a nice medium.

But 20 going that hack with a 14 year old?!?! Thats just farked up!!

 

[myee8]

I am like the majority of you - a 14yr old guy and a 20yr old guy is a bit wrong, but a 17yr old girl and 22 yr old guy is ok. While the age diff is esentially the same (5/6), it's the fact that the girl is chronologically older is what makes the difference. We are talking about the maturity factor here, and while there are some 'mature' 14yr olds, it is still a bit of a social stigma if someone who is in the adult age (18+) dates someone under the legal age of consent.

I noticed that these are all younger girl and older guy relationships. Does anyone know of ones that are of younger guy and older girl?

 

[Barto]

Originally posted by myee8
I noticed that these are all younger girl and older guy relationships. Does anyone know of ones that are of younger guy and older girl?

Only American teachers and 14 year old homies.

 

[Stucey]

Although 20 goes into 14 more times than 20 goes into say 18 or 19, that's not really the age of person you would want your 14 year old daughter dating.....(she is almost too young to be dating anyway)

One of my GF's friends is 22 and she is dating a 39 year old. You really wonder about those type of guys....

 

[Badger]

14 year old girl, 20 year old guy.

I think the term we're looking for here is statutory rape.

Correct me if I'm wrong, however.

17 and 22 is a bit more reasonable.

 

[bluechampion]

ewww.

14 - 20 is wrong. Very wrong.

Other differences can be accomodated, it depends on the person.
I recently became single again after three years with a girl who was 5 years older than I. We got together when I was 19. She was a young 24, I was an old 19, and so it worked. We occasionally had problems with being at different places in regards to long-term commitment and such (she'd had the chance to a lot of the crazy young person things you do when you're young and single, I hadn't got there yet), but it was an excellent three years.

But I say again. 14 - 20. Ick.

 

[the REAL dingo]

Originally posted by Stucey
One of my GF's friends is 22 and she is dating a 39 year old. You really wonder about those type of guys....

Yeah, you do, like how do they do it... When you're a single 40 year old, you'll wish you scoring prime birds in their 20s. I can only offer praise...